pagangoose

[pagangoose]

“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!

[pagangoose]

(mob boss voice) so here's the deal, see. you's gonna go home and get a gooood night's sleep, see? and you's gonna have sweet dreams and a reaaal nice rest. reaaal nice. max here will tuck you in *i motion to the thuggish goon behind me and he approaches you with a warm glass of milk held gingerly in his enormous hand*

[pagangoose]

pirate who's worried mermaids are gonna fuck his girlfriends: me fear fish want me women

[pagangoose]

Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

[pagangoose]

GIRL NO YOU’RE MOURNING SOMETHING THAT HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET AGAIN!!!!!!

[pagangoose]

checks my blog Jesus who closed last night

[pagangoose]

okay i'm locking these in early i know what's gonna happen i'm calling it now

[pagangoose]

performing the "u-turn of blowjobs" because i do a little bit and run away and also it does bug type damage

[pagangoose]

NAGISA'S NOSE UOGH <3 <3 <3

You get it

[pagangoose]

Wish I was a late bronze age girl

I would have my homeland invaded by the sea peoples. I would be lain siege to by the sea peoples. My cities would be sacked by the sea peoples. I would make bronze tools and pottery. My shores would be invaded by the mysterious sea peoples. I would be mustering my armies to fend off the sea peoples.

[pagangoose]

[pagangoose]

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

[pagangoose]

glad to see those spreading the truth

[pagangoose]

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

[pagangoose]

youtube is pulling this bullshit again

praying for the firefox gods to save me once more...

[pagangoose]

[pagangoose]

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters