padora-baraddo-kaiasu

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

i miss caius and ffxiii. i really, really do.

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

Caius Ballad appreciation post 💜

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

Heart of Chaos

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"... Shut up before I make you—" || Lightning || v: two halves of a whole

"I, serving as none other than to accompany you in this moment's unease to you and yet, you wish to silence me. What I have said that you wish for silence. Lightning, are you unaware that we are to endure this curse together? You may as well grow used to how I speak." The shores of Valhalla were nothing short of vague and ceaseless. Nothing but the echos of their sound of voices and movement. It's nothing but a decaying of time lost within the woes of the timeline that betrayed their existence by erasing them. Clearly one another's company wore on each warrior. Why ever would such a deity hold either of them here for a short period of time? Lightning was not to be held accountable for his sins. Appeared their capturer thought otherwise. He did not always understand the goddess's mind or her ways. Caius is yet to understand this. Just because they were linked to at heart did not meant he understood her. If Etro intended that it would be them to occupy such a place void of life then she would have greatly succeeded. It does not soften Caius' heart, but only hardens it with grief. He and Lightning were constantly with in a paradoxical chain of emotions, a perpetual state of defense of dueling of the blades. however, their constant fight had kept their skills as swordsmen from becoming dull. Though Etro having served as their only audience had done nothing of it to soothe their wounds. How much longer would it have been until their were free to roam where they'd wish to? And before the warrioress could return to her life? Before he could attend to Yeul who may worried about his prolonged absence in Etro's twisted game. " You despise me so greatly? What then, will you do to silence me?"

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"I'm sorry I couldn't let go of you... I suppose I didn't want to feel so alone anymore. I didn't mean for you to pay for it." || Yeul

"What have you to apologize for? I understand that you fear bearing your fate alone without me even for a moment which weighs upon your heart. No one should face what you are to bare." Even as Caius had chosen his words as carefully as he had does he realize the taste of it sours. But it sours him in a way of the sorts in which it saddens him. He himself is not entirely faultless. But nor then is she. Is it worse for that one left behind, or is for the one who dies? Caius does not wish death upon the Seeress though he does envy that she knows the ease and peace that comes with it. A peace he would never otherwise taste, nor see. Their fates are cruel. As he is without his mortality, he misses it for as much as Yeul fears her death. It is now that he realizes perhaps the reason that she faces the difficulty of letting go because she had too worried that what his own curse in status quo had done to him? Could it have been that she fears that for once, one day could have very well been his last? That undeniably would mean that she would mean the last she'd see of him. It would be rather selfish of him were he to leave her behind, he understands but his own anguish is greater. And that one day his wish of death would be granted? What a terrible thing though to taint and plague the mind. As the thought had taken place and had transpires, somewhere alone the way for what he does fail to realize was that his sadness started betray and reveal itself within his eyes. He could not attempt to hide away from the Seeress. This time felt rather futile. "Blame yourself not. I do understand. But nor am I to fault you."

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It was as though the life drained from her with every passing second the edge of his blade pierced her chest, and yet at the same time some force was flowing into her, as though trying to plug the gap of her mortality, bit with what? She had not missed either, her own blade embedded in his chest, and yet still, while he looked to be struggling, he did not look like he was dying. Once whatever was flowing between them had finished she staggered back with a gasp, the sword pulled free and bringing back her breath, but it felt odd, wrong somehow... "Caius, what did you do?!" || Lightning (for the au we talked about on discord~) || v: two halves of a whole

There was some relief but that soon too as well had become an illusion itself because as life--old and new, past and present began to flicker and flash before very eyes. He wished and desired to be freed from Etro's grasp from the very moment it it was bestowed upon him.   Grip over the pommel of his sword that feeds from chaos is now piercing her chest and with vengeful enough of an act and purposeful retaliation that she provoked his hand. Though the nebulous fumes branches out and slips to ink away to bleed further into existence and further to bleed and meddle with time, her own blade pierces to sink in his flesh cutting through his bones to severe and fracture it. An undoing that enough should have been a warning. That glow within the of his center of his chest pulsates. Even if for a moment as the crackle of power ensuing to cast a spell between the two and even if Caius is to die once more Etro's curse of ever lasting life repairs and rewakens him. Only to awaken once more he had recalled what just transpired.  Able to escape from the bindings and holdings of her blade it took much needed moments for him to reground himself and his ability to think as he pulled hers out of himself.  After a few moments he readjust. The shared curse now (he felt it become halved, yet another piece of it is added to his torment. This time it is shared. Stumbling back there is a following moment his eyes were cast to the ground. Caius is well aware and had known of what this meant. Before he summoned the ability to face her once more, Caius picked up his gaze only for it to shift to her. "The goddess had requested....No. She has made it so that now you unable to escape immortality as well as I am remain unscathed. The inability to escape it."

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"I- I don't understand... My sister— What did you do to Lightning?" || Serah || v: two halves of a whole

"I have done nothing. It is the goddess Etro's doing. Let not your eyes deceive you." Eyes of amethysts bled over with a certain disliking for such an insinuation brought upon him. The hardness reflects to hold yet something else that he would endure. It reads with anger but it was within his own effort within reasoning. Such a thing tempted him further more into anger due to his stinging. For what it counts his emotions were brought by suddenly showing remorse and resolve for Lightning. The most of it now he had finally began to understand her. Perhaps the warrioress began to understand him too? Part of Caius blamed himself though he knew entirely that certain emotions weren't precisely where he should've been faulted either. He's unable to help what he feels. Not where it mattered. Now he wonders where had Noel been in traveler's endeavors. Was it not his duty to protect Serah?  His quest solve time and fix it seems to him have felt as though it was both foolish and fruitless.  And not only that, he endangered Serah too. She was much like Seeress. It was Caius's own doings that caused such a great of a sin. Most men would think such a thing was not possible. Immortality means never seeing an end to what harms and changes you. However, what this means for Lightning ultimately now meant something he'd never wish upon her or anyone else.  It was the beginning of new life that should not ever be bestowed upon woman nor man.  Not even to be disguised as a punishment. The start of rot, wasting away and decay, a bleeding process where no one would else but you would know it. It's a process that comes with denial, illusion, penalty and even worse. The endless sorrow and endless pain. As he stood witness to it would almost have meant that for her the very same as it meant for him. Watching those you care about only to age and die. Being unable to escape your own helplessness towards the situation. "It's but Etro's wish that your sister is to share the same fate as I, the curse of immortality. She too, is to bare and endure it." he says as he turns to her. That look he now holds to possess comes with a warning before he is to cite verbally. "Nothing you do now will change her fate. She is bound with me."

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"I know you never wanted this to happen..." Surprisingly gentle fingers reached out for him then, to brush over the sharp lines of his jaw. "But even so, at least allow me to share your burden. We're in this together now." || Lightning || v: two halves of a whole || I'm imagining this is past their strife stage, headed into the soft stage x3

"And nor I of you to assume that you wished for this." As much as Caius would attempt to keep the usual edge of some lingering defiance within his voice that certainly as of now would surely fail him. A mixture of hurt, empathetic nature and frailty filled within his eyes and washed over his expression. He didn't wish to speak it, but he is sorry that things somewhere had become so wrong. Yet it was merely a wrong he's oddly welcomed. immortality was not a desire to wish upon even his enemy. Hands moving only to become and matched the gentleness of her own tracing over the structure within his face. He remained still. Almost as if he did not want wish to move. He had not really dared to even think of it. He is not to reject her gentleness. It would be foolish of him otherwise when she is this understand. Least he returned the same where it is due. Her sudden unspoken fondness graced him. Snatching his eyes from that frame of thought and in merely of which as he began to recount, he'd then turn her. And attempt for hard hardheartedness melts away, he sees her differently and he's unable to explain it for himself. And now he wonders exactly what she may have thought or felt about him. Exactly how much had her own heart softened and how much had it changed. Rather being the hand that was meant for violence, and to raise it against her, could it be that a seasoned warrior who was to never escape his curse such as himself had failed where he merely attempted over and over again to convince himself he'd rid her? Because she's fated as his obstacle? Was that not what Etro had wanted? But instead, cursed offender too? Perhaps this was a flaw in the goddess's design of effort too.

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

"How did you do it? How did you bear such a heavy burden all these years, without ever telling anyone? Without ever telling me…" || Noel

"Am I to share my burden as heavy of a price with you? It is my punish for my sins. Even as you could not grasp nor begin to fathom the same in which I am to bare it alone?" And even to his own ears that seemed to be a riddle within itself. He’s experienced much difficulty coming to terms to with carrying that pain. There's a tolling crippling weight within that very secret. Eyes of amethyst filled with having to surrender to that pain once more as he does over and over. He assumed that he would much have gotten used to it by now. It becomes no more light than what he wished it to be. Caius had known and taken care of the Seereress since from the moment she was born. He hadn't been accepted by the very one who birthed her. And there was not only that. There'd also been that that very woman rejected Yeul, asking him to take her away.. Luckily then Yeul had been too young to understand that sort of pain from such a early  age. She hadn’t even learned to speak. But now here would be Noel demanding answers. He wished to answer him towards the best of his ability, but the loss of words comes as he dared to reveal that lack of hope ailing him. It’s written clear and evident all over his face. Sadness and nothing else but soul shattering emptiness. Only he could hear the shattering echo within inside of him. Etro’s heart pulsed and glowed inside of his chest. Many times often than not, he attempted to carve it out of it’s cage. But he failed it. And so others in turn failed it too to fulfill his wish. Death. Though Caius had the time to reflect on his errs and failures, set backs all the same. He is yet to take the responsibility of abandoning Yeul and Noel as he’d gone to commit the sin of the destroying time by killing Etro. She bestowed upon him the curse of eternity. The inability to die and never seeing an end to his anguish that sometimes caused him to fester and burn for it. " I am telling you this now. I bear and I will continue to bear that pain so that Yeul is not to suffer an eternity without me. Do you not see?”

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"You've suffered a lot, haven't you...?" || Serah

"Is it not befitting that unto Etro's accursed? You could not possibly understand. Do not attempt to feign that you do otherwise." The more he pauses and it would be as though Caius had been sorting out his own thoughts. As well as though he's tasted it upon his tongue and it sat there festering into something that later carves out invisible blisters the more he dares not speak of it. Proven otherwise to wove him a cut within his chest which lies deep. Only for as deep as he knows. Though they were his own they tasted bitter. An unknown familiarity which is less than desirable. An etching, a visible one betrayed him. There's a strength to that. A tinge of uncertainty and misery which softens him. The way that he unto spoke her now without the temperaments and hints of resentment afflicting his tone.  A desired edge for his unknowing to understand why now of all times he's frozen in a frame of mind over her curiosity. He held him in place while the rest of existence blurred in detail. But why? Why did the Goddess's chosen warrior have that difficulty of coming to terms with his own anguish as it comes with facing her? He now regrets what he's allowed to come undone and let his fragility become unfolded. Regret. Usually, she'd be met with aggression and him dismissing her with certain truths that she already knows. Mostly as much that he it softened his own pangs by tormenting her with aggression and violence. (A sheer unforgiving mark of cruelty). It comes no matter how much he attempts to undo it. "You oppose, and yet you desire to reason with me. "...You cannot have it both without it's consequences. He wanted to say but either case that would make him a hypocrite in his own right. "I have suffered for and ceaseless duration of time in my longevity. Her heart dwells within me. An entanglement in which she does not desire to free me of as the goddess successfully spared herself of. Gods are not permitted to see death. Nor are they to fear it. Ridding herself of such a burden worth an endless cycle of love and agony, Etro has passed that curse unto me--No matter how is life envies that it cannot touch me. And I forever am unable to die.  And Yeul is fated to die over and over again and I am powerless to stop it." It's placed simply as though he recited it before hand. As though it were a practice. "Your curiosity....Does my answer satisfy you now..? What will you do with the knowledge I’ve given you?”

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

Hello I had more meme redraws in my system

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yea. something has come to my attention and i’ve been ignoring it really long. i thought that if i watched cutscenes, it’d help me get my muse for caius back. i been done learned this forever ago that it isn’t enough for me. so, i’m gonna have to play all the games, over again. but if i wanna short cut around it, i’m just gonna play ffxiii-2 again. i need to feel, and re-experience it again.

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" oh! that was one nasty fall... are you alright? "

Caius had not seen, nor had he heard when there should have been another arrival other than he. However, he had heard perhaps a jingle, clinking of metal or perhaps bells ringing within the distance. That was faint. Obviously, there'd be movement but he hadn't imagined that it would approach him. Though, that fell behind him so he didn't give much thought or attention to it. Perhaps because the waiting staff at the Nox Fleuret manor had been used to his visits by now, they turned their attention and manners elsewhere. Would appeared that they'd hardly noticed. One maybe have easily taken that as though he were a welcomed guest. And then...barking. Why had he suddenly heard--? No sooner than that, the furry white canine seemed to be circling around him. But this was due to her curiosity. It certainly wasn't out of fear. She'd even jump and stand on two feet. And if that didn't work, she'd paw at him and even sniff around at him. Needless and saying that this stranger hadn't in the least bit fazed her. The very opposite, actually. Turning away, she walk out of the scene--but this hadn't meant she'd give up. No, far from it! Instead, she'd come charging in running and then, she'd tackle the tall, dark and purple stranger. When he fell on his back with success Pryna would immediately jump climb on top him. Barking excitedly, she couldn't wait to start licking all over his face. Her tail wagging as her little heart leapt in joy! See, she was a persistent little pup! She couldn't speak like humans could, but barking seemed to be sufficing for her very well so far! Needless in saying he hadn't expected that. First, the interaction between her and him was met by a blur that it happened so fast. That sent Caius a few mental laps backward as he needed time to adjust completely to what had happened. Not knowing how to react, or even how to respond, Caius had stared and occupied himself with his own silence over the matter. Not exactly how he imagined meeting the Princess's friend. Nor had he expected this sort of introductory at all. As his other senses started to rush back to him (and thankfully so) Caius turned and looked at Luna. What were he to say. Especially with an animal taking so kindly to him? "....It's...Nothing...I'll be fine. Just...give me a...I need a moment." The questions would come later. Even his brain decided to allow for it.

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"Child of miracles, traveler of time guided by Etro...listen to me... Each time you fulfill a wish of your heart...someone elses dream is shattered.  You conjure miracles, but when you do, the seeds of tragedy are sewn in other lives."                                                                                        template credit.

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born-of-loss​:

Reina cocks her head. “Witchers? Are they…witch hunters?” Was that just a slang term? She hated being ignorant but at least this Caius seemed to be giving her the straight answers to her questions. His offer to accompany her to the Inn has her sigh with relief.

“That…would be sublime, actually.” She says, a bit breathlessly. “I’ve almost been attacked a few times on the road, and if there’s as many…villains around within the walls as without, I may not be lucky a third time.” His concern about her being misled by the helpful old woman has her shaking her head. “I don’t believe so. I’m usually good at reading body language and judging character and they were, I believe, being genuine.”

While his knowledge of them were not necessarily through, he’d provide her with what he knew. ”Yes. Witchers and Witcher hunters are both entirely different. I understand your confusion.” He’d seen no gain in misleading her. “ A witcher is someone who has trained mentally and physically for years, they’ve harness to abilities of prowess, alchemy, learned monster hunting. Harsh training. They are mutated through brutal, inhumane methods. If that man as a boy survived those experiments, he’d later become a assassin for hire who possess skills of accumulated magic. In other ways to better term it, sorcery. Witchers aid those in need. Witch hunters hunt, maim, kill and even burn mages alive upon public display due solely because their acts are deemed ‘evil’.” “Very well. I shall aid.” The monsters here, even the most lesser in strength and stature were very dangerous. Especially if you’d come unarmed and unprepared. “Understood. Though, I suppose it would be thought wise to acquire knowledge of what to expect and the safest areas away from the monsters.” But of course sometimes, the worst monsters were often human. “I’d assume you’d known this person for a while in order to deem them otherwise trustworthy, then?” That was relief.

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streetwisetemptress​:

“Assuming isn’t necessary. I told you, we were fleeing from the guards, just like we do everyday.” There wasn’t an ounce of annoyance in her tone, as worry had overpowered all other emotions that may have crept up from the surface. As there was an awkward silence between the two, her eyes wandered off around her, scanning the area for her best friend. Panic was quickly setting in as her breathing became heavy. She prayed he was alright as she turned back towards the man.

Esmeralda had hoped his reassurance was true and she appreciated his request. Being an outcast in all of Paris, help didn’t come by easily to the dancer. “Thank you… That’s very kind of you, monsieur.” She glanced back up and pondered a direction. “Let’s waste no time.” She waved a hand, gesturing for him to follow as she stepped forward into the square.

“That would serve an obstacle upon your plans. Understood.” The need to further press the issue had come to dawn over him but Etro’s time traveling warrior forbade himself to ask of her prior problems before they’d stumble upon each other. What’s more, to place it under better terms of mention, the timeline had gone askew causing him land upon unfamiliar terrain. Detecting concern, his aged features were only mildly etched due to his wonder. He’d remain calm. The ability to travel the time allowed him to probe into whatever information he’d needed. His limit of not knowing ought to not have lasted for too much longer. “There is no need,” he’d assure her, assuming that help had not come her way as oft as it should. “Would be the best preferred method. Your friend even for as he is lost, could be frightened without you by his side.” That being a guess that is more accurate than he’d known.

[padora-baraddo-kaiasu]

born-of-loss​:

Reina nods along. “A lot of dangers here.” She offers a small smile. “I’m not used to having to watch my back. I’m grateful for your help, Mon’sier…ah, Sir..?” She hopes for a name; one semi familiar face or name in this apparent den of thieves and bandits is better than nothing. She’s less worried about the witch hunters, and she is human; she’s quite certain it’s the elves that face the ire of the mentioned racists.

“Well, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me.” She smiles warmly, eyes sparkling with gratitude and warmth to this kind stranger. “And yes, my destination was mentioned to me in passing by someone on my journeys here. I hope their belief that I may find employ there is…true.”

“Yes. As I am aware of that. Even the most skilled, seasoned of witchers would be wise to avoid certain lurking dangers that await them.” And neither were he, for someone who’d come prepared and armed when it best suited it’s circumstances. “Caius. I am pleased to be of some aid to you. “He’d wanted to know of her name but much assumed she’d give it when in due time. Still, he thought it wise to sooner, rather than later to forewarn her. Sometimes said racists and witch hunters were aggravated without instructed reason and were likely to follow upon unwarranted attack. “I’m pleased to be of some aid.”He’d given a short nod of the head to demonstrate the minimal gratitude he’d felt. “Oh, I see. But if you so wish, I could go with you to ensure you that you are safely to reach your destination should you wander and become lost. I’d only hope that their words were not meant to misguide you.”