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His little pony...

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Robert Pattinson Breaks Down His Most Iconic Characters | British GQ

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i’m proud of the ten people in vermont who recognized what was at stake, recognized that great is the enemy of good, held their nose, and voted for joe biden

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when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.

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Building a home for a toadlet

(via)

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helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

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My genius remains unrealised

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"Ok, ma'am that'll be 226.03$."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

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why did you people come up with russian names for what is supposed to be a movie set in italy. what was the thought process here. why does she sound like she walked out of a tolstoy novel

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Happy first birthday Knife-Wielding Tentacle..👍

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I understand that museums have to be dark because light can destroy fragile artifacts. That said, I’m always afraid to walk around the blind corners because what if there is a skeleton

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I still can't believe that Tommy "Karate" Pitera, the mafia boss who was also a karate champion and who killed people by doing karate on them, was a real person. That's not a combination of traits a real guy has. That is a Metal Gear character. That is Chuck Norris playing the heel in a Bruce Lee movie. But no, there was a time not that long ago when people on the mean streets of Brooklyn might whisper "Hey, watch out for Tommy Karate, he'll kill you with his bare hands" with the gravest seriousness.

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you've gotta have friends who are older than you, not because you're a dumb kid, but because you'll be terrified of growing up otherwise