p4thet1cl0ser

[p4thet1cl0ser]

sometimes i wonder if she even really loves me

she doesn’t listen to me or respect me or acknowledge me and i just… dont think she does

[p4thet1cl0ser]

A true story from 1928 with a few artistic embellishments.

(And starring my disaster boys Jack and Al, of course)

[p4thet1cl0ser]

i wanna talk to her but she spends all her time talking to anyone else

[p4thet1cl0ser]

i am SO not okay like wtf

[p4thet1cl0ser]

Love you

you dont

[p4thet1cl0ser]

i feel like death and i want to die

[p4thet1cl0ser]

i wish i wasnt so alone

[p4thet1cl0ser]

crying

[p4thet1cl0ser]

ishouldjust

end

[p4thet1cl0ser]

theyhateme

[p4thet1cl0ser]

idontlikthis

toomanypeopletalkingtoofastandeverythinghurtsandmyheadisspinning

[p4thet1cl0ser]

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ….acknowledged

[p4thet1cl0ser]

theyhatemetheyhatemetheyhateme

[p4thet1cl0ser]

I put in so much fucking work to being some semblance of normal and no one fucking recognises how fucking hard it is when you have to go over every sentence three times and calculate how much to move each limb or how long to spend looking at something or how fucking hard it is to eat even though my stomach knows nothing but hunger despite excessive eating not to mention that despite all this i can hardly even feel pain on my skin so i have to react to any unexpected pressure like pain or ill sit on a bed if nails and not notice and not to mention how fucking hard it is to be nice when everyones choosing to be an asshole and that i just fucking hate them but still go out of my way to give them respect they in no way deserve or the fucking agony that comes from lack of sleep and yet my body is fucking shit and refuses to sleep even when in pain from not sleeping

[p4thet1cl0ser]

I need to die

[p4thet1cl0ser]

im a drain, drag, waste and not a help to any one ever

im useless

[p4thet1cl0ser]

but im not

im just trying to be useful

and failing

im useless