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Christmas present for my MIL

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a woodcock in the hand

posted a month ago on my Patreon and Ko-fi, original text by @wizardarchetypes can be found here 💗

✅ you are welcome to: crop the images for banners/pfps (with credit); create voice overs w/o AI

❌ you may not: repost to other platforms w/o permission; create voice overs with AI; create NFTs

get early access to new comics: patreon, ko-fi || get your fursona assigned by me || browse older Tumblr Comics

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(alt included)

Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)

Video description and transcript under the cut.

Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda. Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.

Transcript.

Jason: *holding gun on Bruce* "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."

Batman: *glares silently*

Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" *hits Joker across the face*

Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*

Jason: "—is HE still alive??"

Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

Batman:

Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"

Jason: *in disbelief* "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"

Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."

Batman: *holds hands up* "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"

Jason: "Excuse you?"

Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"

Jason: *to Joker* "Is he being serious?"

Joker: *also confused* "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."

Jason: "Got it. Great." *turns back to Batman* "What the fuck does THAT mean?"

Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."

Jason:

Jason: *lowers gun* "What."

Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."

Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say: what?"

Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"

Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"

Jason: *mutters, brain blue screening* "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."

Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"

Joker: *turns to Jason quizzically* "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—" *Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.*

Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"

Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." *nods at floor*

Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" *looks down at floor where the Joker was lying*

Floor: *is devoid of Joker*

Jason: *stares*

Floor: *continues to be sans anything but carpet*

Jason: "What the fuck?"

Batman: "Yeah."

Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."

Jason: *looking around frantically* "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"

Floor: *is just vibin'*

Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"

Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"

Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"

Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."

Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"

Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"

Joker: *disembodied laughter*

Jason: *freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him* "Oh my God!"

Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"

Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."

Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"

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jollybelieverwonderland

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That particular disappointment of the more literate-than-average child upon discovering that “gaol” is just pronounced “jail”

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"But how can you justify a player character with a (non-disinherited) noble background in a dungeon-crawling fantasy game" well, the most obvious approach is a fantasy setting whose nobility practices cognatic primogeniture where, instead of "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes a priest", it's "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes an adventurer". From the player's perspective, it handily explains why the title comes with little material support from the family; from the family's perspective, there's an unspoken understanding that most of the spare heirs will be eaten by a dragon (or whatever), thereby simplifying the inheritance situation, and the few survivors will become great assets.

(There is, of course, the possibility that a surviving third son, having grown powerful and understandably harbouring some slight resentment, may return, kill his elder brothers with dark magic, and take over the dynasty, but in practice this almost never happens.)

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"But how can you justify a player character with a (non-disinherited) noble background in a dungeon-crawling fantasy game" well, the most obvious approach is a fantasy setting whose nobility practices cognatic primogeniture where, instead of "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes a priest", it's "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes an adventurer". From the player's perspective, it handily explains why the title comes with little material support from the family; from the family's perspective, there's an unspoken understanding that most of the spare heirs will be eaten by a dragon (or whatever), thereby simplifying the inheritance situation, and the few survivors will become great assets.

(There is, of course, the possibility that a surviving third son, having grown powerful and understandably harbouring some slight resentment, may return, kill his elder brothers with dark magic, and take over the dynasty, but in practice this almost never happens.)

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🕷️BlipBugBug🕷️

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medically instructed to unclench

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LMAO I just found out that it’s Stress Awareness week.

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Nerd and jock from yesterday’s illustration

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Kids say the darnedest things~

In the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie, we've seen Scarecrow getting torn up and patched back together, no big deal, right? And I've read plenty of fanfics where Scarecrow/Fiyero does some basic maintenance of having to patch himself back up, usually very gradually over time.

So, like, how does that all work? What does being a magically enchanted scarecrow entail? How much of him can be removed/replaced and it will still be him? How much of his original body, if any, needs to be present for his consciousness to transfer over???

Please point on the magic scarecrow where the sentience is located.

These are questions that are never meant to be thought about very hard, yet think about them very hard I shall.

And now so shall Fiyero, the poor bastard.

Wicked Master Post

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Better lighting

Cross stitch Stardew Valley bookmark take 2. Pretty happy with the design, tho there's a few adjustments I'll make if I ever do it again

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Cross stitch Stardew Valley bookmark take 2. Pretty happy with the design, tho there's a few adjustments I'll make if I ever do it again

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Gav’s Tavern Hi, I hope you like this. It is different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work.