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Knitting, 2021 - by Joseph Ford, English

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something i have always found really weird is when english texts italicize words from other languages.

i remember reading a book as a kid and the author continually italicizing the word tamales

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One unexpected thing about being on T is the way that cis men are also jealous of you

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maybe if we torture this kid harder our lives will get even more awesome

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FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

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running for president as a member of the American Fujoshi Party with a foolproof plan to address male loneliness

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The real reason your sapient dragon character needs a "rider":

Dragons on the wing are vulnerable to being mobbed by smaller, more agile flyers, particularly in your large rear blind spot, like a bird of prey being mobbed by crows. Having a human armed with a long spear perched on your back helps to dissuade anyone from getting any funny ideas.

Breath weapons are impressive enough on the ground, but in flight they're really only good for strafing stationary targets; trying to use your breath weapon in an aerial dogfight is a good way to get fire up your nose. A real fight calls for sterner measures – and, concomitantly, a crew to aim and reload the cannons.

In today's competitive world, it's not enough to devour a flock of sheep and call it a day if you want to keep your edge. You're accompanied at all times by a qualified personal alchemist tasked with carefully regulating your internal furnace to ensure peak performance, and sometimes you even listen to them.

No dragon of any quality would be caught dead without their valet. It's not as though you can announce your numerous long-winded titles yourself when introductions are called for, can you? You suppose next you'll be expected to pick up the spoils of your conquests yourself, like a common brigand. Perish the thought!

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good > finally building the habit of checking my trouser pockets for tissues and stuff before putting them in the washing machine

bad > being unable to do so without saying "what's it got in its nasty little pocketses" in a gollum voice

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Reworked this design a bit

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LAIOS IS NOT DUMB! He is not a himbo, he is not some child, and he’s not completely inept.

Other than Marcille he’s the smartest in the party, he has the same intelligence rating as Kabru and Falin. He’s a fucking monster expert!? He also is canonically a bookworm! He carries books around in his fucking armor. He learned magic incredibly fast. He’s not stupid he’s just not super afraid to make mistakes, he tries everything out because he likes to learn! He’s kinda aloof and easily distracted but honestly all the things that people call him dumb for are symptoms of neurodivergence (which he’s pretty much completely agreed to be by the fandom. I’d personally argue Audhd). Y’all are just infantilizing the hell out of him. He gets the entire party out of shit so many times and you boil him down because my boy has a little whimsy.

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kind of obsessed with my dad's friend who apparently goes back to being a Buddhist whenever he gets a divorce

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Someone said Fat People can't do this on twitter and someone posted this as a response and i think its important people see things like this to know they're just fatphobic and wrong

[X]

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👆italian letsbian

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I have discovered the truth about chainmail bikinis, and it is imperative those wearing such armor do not think about it too hard or they may inadvertently cross the line between Sexy Hero and Homicidal Pervert.

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Just some cowboys doing cowboy things