outofcontextdungeonsanddragons
outofcontextdungeonsanddragons
Nut Buddies (AKA: The Gay Wizard Squad)
254 posts
Our party consists of: the dwarf cleric (Ebony "Bones McGee" Way), the lightfoot halfling rogue (Omin "Almond" "Omen" "Anwyn" "Ramen"), the high elf necromancer (Frida "Frito" "Thotticus" Lae), the half elf pirate bard (Will Turner), and the long-suffering DM. ✿ We formerly also had a human noble fighter (Boogle Biggins), an elf wizard (Trine Trineson), and a half orc paladin (Raziah). ✿ Literally all of these characters are LGBT+/queer.
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Cleric: I got we glad that outta our systems.
Rogue: "Got we glad"?
Cleric: I know what I said.
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Rogue: Hey, blue tiefling!
Everyone, in unison: THAT'S RACIST!
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Cleric: What if I went back to the shady bar to seduce the bartender again? Maybe it'll work this time.
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DM: She's in priest robes.
Cleric: Aw, no! You can't fuck her!
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Necromancer: Hello, folk.
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Rogue: Is there a tiefling?
DM: Yes.
Cleric: Fuck the tiefling.
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Cleric: I'M A CLERIC!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! FOR ME TO HIT IT WITH A HAMMER??!
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DM: DID YOU ROLL A NAT 1?
Necromancer: NO, IT'S A 7!
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Rogue, chewing on a plant: What is this?
Bard: I dunno, a sprig? What does it taste like?
Rogue: I dunno what anything tastes like. It's plant.
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Cleric: FIGHT CLUB! FIGHT CLUB! FIGHT CLUB!
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Cleric: Welcome to my FUCK house AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
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Rogue: Gay babies. Gaybies, if you will.
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Rogue: I'll do my daily centaur roll.
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Necromancer, to the Rogue: You look like a budgeoning rapper. BUDDING. A budding rapper.
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Rogue: I AM SAYING THINGS AND SPEAKING.
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Necromancer: Some random person texted and asked me if I had my charger.
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DM: Roll sleight of hand to steal the juggling balls.
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