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“My mom didn’t want to be pregnant. She was young. She wasn’t in a serious relationship. And she never even wanted kids, so needless to say, she wasn’t thrilled. I think Mr. Duck was her way of ‘being ok’ with the pregnancy. It was the first gift she ever bought me, and she gave it to me when I was born. I took Mr. Duck everywhere as a child: breakfast, lunch, dinner. I gave him baths. I told him all my stories and all my problems. He was my best friend. At one point we were staying at a hotel, because our living situation was up in the air. And when I came home from school, our room had been cleaned, and Mr. Duck was gone. I tore the room apart. The hotel staff searched everywhere. My mom even tried to go to the landfill, but the city wouldn’t let her. Mr. Duck was gone. Forever. The years went by. I stopped thinking about him. But my Mom remained heartbroken. She couldn’t even watch Toy Story. Then three years ago, I’m sitting in a café, and I get a call from her. She tells me: ‘I think I found Mr. Duck.’ Apparently for years my mom had been googling: ‘Terry Cloth Duck With Overalls.’ And she finally found a match. But there was only one way to know for sure. Mr. Duck had stitches in his head because of a hair dryer injury. That would be our proof. My mom ordered him from the website, and we agreed to meet at a restaurant to open the package. We delayed the moment for as long as possible. We tried to make small talk. I braced myself for disappointment. But finally we opened the package, and pulled him out, and I ran my fingers across his head. Stitches! After all these years, Mr. Duck had come home.” #quarantinestories
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“I woke up with a gasp in the back of an ambulance. They’d shot adrenaline directly into my heart. Apparently I’d been dead for 2.5 minutes. The EMT’s were freaking out. My chest hurt from the electric paddles. And I was already in acute withdrawal. At the time, it had been nearly twenty years of addiction. I weighed 128 pounds, and I’m a six foot tall man. There comes a point when you’re given the gift of desperation. And that was it for me. Today is my 160th day clean. I’ve never gone this far before. One of the first things I did after getting sober was write my son a letter. He was raised by my parents. I told him: ‘You did nothing wrong. I was an addict. I loved heroin more than you, more than your mother, more than my own mother.’ And he’s forgiven me. He’s a good hearted kid. I think more than anything he just wants his dad back. He came to visit me in November. It was the first time I’ve seen him in seven years. He’s become my biggest advocate. He knows my day count. He texts me every day for a feelings check. He’s become my biggest motivation. I just don’t want my legacy to be ‘dope fiend.’ That can’t be what’s on my headstone. That can’t be how he remembers me. I don’t want my kids telling their kids: ‘Your grandfather was a heroin addict.’ I want them to brag about my sobriety. I want them to say: ‘That’s something he was, but he beat it.’”
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Some people from my past are never going to know me at this age. They won’t get to see my life unfold, my wedding, my children, or my adventures. They may have known who I was, but they will never again know who I’ll be.
I find a lot of peace in that.
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What's something you want to say but haven't.
That it’s exciting to think some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet
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I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.
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“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul, but cracks to put their love into, is the most calming thing in this world.”
— Emery Allen (via perrfectly)
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“Everyone’s chest Is a living room wall With awkwardly-placed photographs Hiding fist-shaped holes.”
— Andrea Gibson, “Class” (via awolfinmycity)
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I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.
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getting up at 6:00 am made me realize that 6:00 am isnt a place it is an emotion
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“I need nothing more, I’d walk barefoot through the world if I walked with you.”
— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
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“The things that excite you are not random. They are connected to your purpose. Follow them.”
— (via purplebuddhaquotes)
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together we will create a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls so hard that the foundation rocks and cracks. our home will be gentle, it will be warm. i will keep you safe and you will keep me still. no fear, no hurt, no worry. we come from broken and twisted places but together we will build something whole and safe. we will curl around each other like a pair of quotation marks at night, warm and comforted. in the mornings, you’ll sing in the shower again. we will heal, and we will raise a family that doesn’t need to heal.
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i know it feels like nothings changing, but one day youre gonna wake up and realize you’re miles away from who you used to be, and you’ll be proud of who you’re becoming
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“Nobody would give us a chance. We were in our early twenties. We had two young kids. We were working, but living check to check. At the time we were staying in the projects with my mother-in-law, but my kids were growing up, so we needed our own place. But all the rental brokers wanted to see our bank statements. And we had no savings. We didn’t even have accounts. Then one day I was walking down the avenue, and I saw a super fixing up an empty apartment. I told him I needed to speak to the landlord directly. No brokers. And I guess he liked my vibe, because he gave me the name: Ronald Petrowski. When I called Mr. Petrowski, I explained everything. I told him we needed a chance. He agreed to meet me and my husband at Lenny’s Pizzeria. He bought us a plain pie and listened to our story. He’d grown up poor himself, so he knew the struggle. And he gave us a chance. We’ve been in that apartment for 35 years now, and I’ve paid him every cent. We’ve fallen on hard times. At one point I owed him an entire year of rent. But he was so gracious. He never sent us an eviction notice. Every time he came to collect, he’d sit at our kitchen table, have a cup of coffee, and listen to our situation. Mr. Petrowski is my hero. He sold the building a couple years ago, but we still keep in touch. That man gave me a home to raise my children.”
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“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that’s going to help you to grow.”
— Caroline Myss
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“You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning.”
— Unknown
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