otakuneet

[otakuneet]

For @melffy-puppy :D

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."

Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

[otakuneet]

The Men in Black are an alleged faction of the government who many believe are involved in silencing UFO witnesses and doing coverups on UFO and extraterrestrial sightings. The first sightings of the Men in Black took place in the 1950′s where their description was still the same as it is today; tall men who were typically bald and in their mid to late 30′s-40′s wearing black suits, white shirts, black ties, and black bowler hats. Witnesses who have encountered the Men in Black say are very hostile and intimidating; they threaten or imply threats of harm to the UFO witness or their family and friends if they don’t remain silent, destroy any evidence they had, or simply to stop researching the matter all together. Usually visits from the Men in Black are a one time thing however sometimes people are visited by them more than once. Some people believe that they are a faction of the FBI or CIA or another government organization while some believe they are extraterrestrials or are supernatural and paranormal in nature themselves. People have also made connections between them and the Black eyed Children saying they feel a feeling of dread when visited by the Men in Black or see them with the Black eyed Children themselves. Some people just believe that the Men in Black are a myth but we may never know the true identities of these mysterious and iconic figures. 

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

Oi, no fair restoring MP in the middle of an attack!

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

Whew, thank goodness, you really fell asleep. I can’t wait any longer... Well then... feeding time.

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

technology design peaked here

[otakuneet]

Man I need friends way too much of a loner

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

Add my Snapchat

punker405 thanks

[otakuneet]

[otakuneet]

Today makes 1 year since #WakeUpInTheSky was released!! 👏🎉😍💕🎵💕

[otakuneet]

Eddie Munson + running