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How can I find my birth parents for free?

How can I find my birth parents for free?

If you want to search for your mom or dad on your own, here are some tips for you.

Be warned, however: searching for biological parents on your own can be a long and disappointing process.

Even though our founder, Jenny Wallentine, found her birth mother for free, she spent many years…and even then she caught a lucky break.

Here are some tips. Some of these will cost some money, others will cost only your time.

Hopefully, these will get you started in the right direction.

Get Hold of Your Adoption Records

Accessing adoption records can be tricky, depending on your state.

Your sealed adoption records should include your original birth certificate and other identifying information that may put you closer to identifying your parents.

Some state’s laws require a court order to release identifying information about your birth parents to you.

Other states require mutual consent to release identifying information, meaning that your biological parents have the right to refuse.

In most states, you should be able to access non-identifying information about your adoption. This will include details such as the family background, health, and city of residence at time of your adoption.

Visit our finding birth parents by state page to find out the regulations for your state of birth.

Participate in Adoption Reunion Registries

An adoption reunion registry is like a dating site, only for adult adoptees to reconnect with their birth parents. If you’re lucky, the reunion registry will work for you.

Keep in mind, however, that the adoption reunion registry route will depend on the following:

Your lost family members are actively trying to find you

Your parent is participating in adoption reunion registries

Your parent is signed up to the same adoption registry you are.

Of course, if you have the time and dedication, you can register in all of them and hope that your dad or mom are doing the same.

Talk to Your Adoptive Parents and Extended Family

This is something you should probably do anyway. Hopefully, your adoptive dad and mom are supportive of your journey.

They may also remember details that could guide you in narrowing down your search.

Take a Genealogical DNA Test

When Origins Genealogy finds birth parents for our clients, the first step is always an AncestryDNA test.

You can also take a DNA test on your own and look for close matches.

If members of your birth family have taken the same DNA test (e.g., Ancestry, 23andMe, etc), you will see them in your test results as close DNA matches.

(At Origins, we upload your results to several other DNA databases to broaden the chances of getting a match).

With luck, you can identify your dad, mom, or other birth family members in your results.

Often, however, results are far from clear-cut and you may find yourself looking at a muddle of vague genetic connections, with no clear indication how to proceed or make sense of it all.

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How to deal with unexpected DNA matches?

How to deal with unexpected DNA matches?

Remain calm and rational. Strong emotions will only complicate what is a delicate situation. Be sure that you are interpreting the data correctly before you broach the subject to others in the family.

Treat the secret-keeper(s) with kindness and respect. You may be furious that they have kept this secret, but they were probably doing what they thought was best. It’s OK to acknowledge your feelings of betrayal, but you should simultaneously remember their humanity.

Engage in open dialogue, remaining as neutral as possible. Even though you’ll feel strong personal feelings, this situation is not personal to you: it affected you but was not deliberately done to you. It was caused by flawed humans trying to muddle their way along, as are we all. Keep this impersonal mental frame as you open discussions with your family members; be the rock they can lean on if things get emotionally fraught.

Engage a professional genealogy service company, if you choose. Such a service can make sense of the discovery and also help smooth matters out between family members. A good genetic genealogist can help with the following:

Interpret the test results to help you conclusively understand the relationship of your genetic match to you.

Upload your DNA test results into additional DNA databases to build a more full picture (and potentially identify more matches).

Mediate between family members by showing conclusive evidence of the genetic relationship, and by explaining the story of the relationship in an impartial, experienced, and professional matter.

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How to find my birth mom?

"How to find my birth mom?" is a frequent question adopted children have.

One way to find your biological mother is by accessing your original birth certificate and other adoption records.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “Access to Adoption Records (AAR),” state adoption records are protected to varying degrees on a state-by-state basis, but “in nearly all States…all files related to the adoption process [are] confidential and withheld from public access.”

What this means is that you may have a difficult time accessing your original birth certificate (OBC) and other records, depending on your state. Many states release your sealed adoption information upon your formal request. Others…not so easy.

Each state has a state registrar, office of vital statistics, or similarly-titled state agency that handles adoption records. You’ll need to contact the equivalent department in your state of birth.

Non-Identifying Information Vs Identifying Info

When you begin researching access to state adoption records, you’ll encounter different rules for identifying as opposed to non-identifying information. It’s important to know the difference between the two. It’s also important to note that both informational categories can sometimes be included in public records.

Non-identifying Information

Non-identifying information includes demographic info and “the health, behavioral health, developmental, educational, and social histories of the child and the child’s parents and other birth relatives” (AAR). Such information can include the following:

The adopted child’s birthdate and birthplace

The ages of the birth father and mother

Physical characteristics of the birth father and mother, such as eye color or hair color

The birth parents’ medical history, religion, or ethnicity

The birth parents’ occupations and educational backgrounds

The reason the birth parents placed the child for adoption (extenuating financial circumstances, pressure from family members, etc)

Biological siblings from the either or both birth parents

Identifying Information

Identifying info is—surprise!—information that could help identify the “birth parents, the adult adoptee, or other birth relatives” (AAR).

While the boundary between identifying and non-identifying information blurs a bit—occupation, physical characteristics, birth date and birth place could be used to help identify birth parents—identifying info includes the following:

Names of the birth parents

The birth name of the adopted child (which may be different from the name your adopted parents subsequently assigned you)

Addresses where either birth parent has lived

Companies where either birth parent has worked

Social security numbers of the birth parents

Contact information of the birth parents, such as email addresses or phone numbers

Certain types of medical information

Etc

Accessing Adoption Records and OBC By State

Some states are much more tightfisted than others when it comes to releasing an adoptee’s OBC and records of the adoption.

Easy States

If you’re lucky enough to have been born in Nebraska, Oregon, Kansas, Vermont, or Missouri, for example, you can demand a copy of your OBC along with other documentation related to your adoption.

Difficult States

Louisiana, Kentucky, Florida, and the District of Columbia, among others, will only release the OBC upon order of the court.

Texas will release identifying information only if the birth parents and adult adoptee have each registered their consent for said release in a state adoption registry.

Easy-Difficult States

Then there are states that allow for the adult adoptee to request their OBC and identifying info about their birth family…with conditions.

For example, Delaware will release the OBC “unless the birth parent has filed an affidavit denying release of identifying information.” California and New York are similar.

Arkansas, in turn, allows adoptees to request their OBC and birth family identifying info, but also allows a birth parent to have his or her name redacted from said documentation.

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How to find my biological parents for free?

How to find my biological parents for free?

If you want to search for your mom or dad on your own, here are some tips for you.

Be warned, however: searching for biological parents on your own can be a long and disappointing process.

Even though Jenny Wallentine, the founder of Origins Genealogy, a genealogy company, found her birth mother for free, she spent many years…and even then she caught a lucky break.

Here are some tips. Some of these will cost some money, others will cost only your time.

Hopefully, these will get you started in the right direction.

Get hold of your adoption records 

Participate in adoption reunion registries

Talk to your adoptive parents and extended family

Take a a genealogical DNA test

If you want to know more about how to find your birth parents, you contact Origins Genealogy at (801) 500-0900 or email info@originsintl.com.

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Does my birth mom even want me to find her?

Does my birth mom even want me to find her? Most adult adoptees (at least those from a closed adoption) ask themselves this. 

Jenny Wallentine, our co-founder, had the same questions. 

Join us as we explore the complex world of closed adoption and reunion...and learn about Jenny's story to boot!

https://originsintl.com/does-my-birth-mother-want-me-to-find-her/

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How to find my biological mother?

How to find my birth mother - Origins Genealogy

Here are some resources and steps you can take to find your bio mom. Some are free and can be done on your own; others have a cost or may involve a professional assistance.

Gain access to your original birth certificate and other adoption records 

Research her on social media (if you have your birth mother’s name or identifying information) 

Talk to your adoptive parents about what they know and assess their willingness to help you 

Try to find members of your extended birth family who might be able to help Search reunion registries (websites for reuniting adult adoptees with their birth parents) 

Take a DNA test and look for genetic matches 

Get help from a private investigator or professional genealogy company.

For more information, or to learn how Origins Genealogy can help you find your biological mother, give us a call today (801) 500-0900.

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What are the benefits of finding my birth parents?

For those who were raised with their birth parents, it may not seem important for an adoptee to find biological parents. Like so many other things in life, it’s hard to understand how someone feels unless you have walked in their shoes.

The best way to describe it would be like wearing a pair of shoes that protected your feet, kept them warm and dry, and looked good with your clothes, but only you could tell that they just didn’t fit right. Maybe they rubbed your heel wrong or they were too narrow. Only an adoptee knows what that feels like.

Fortunately, there are ways to get the shoe to fit just right. This can happen when you find your birth parents. No matter how wonderful your adoptive family is, the nagging unanswered questions can be uncomfortable like ill-fitting shoes.

TRUTH

Adoptees rarely know why they were placed for adoption or what the circumstances were that led to the decision to place them for adoption. 

We have all heard the saying that the truth can set you free. Learning about a birth parent’s circumstances can be very enlightening. Knowing their stories can bring empathy and clarity and allow adoptees to view themselves and their birth parents in a more healthy, positive way.

FORGIVENESS

For some adoptees, being given up for adoption can feel like being abandoned–just given away. This can cause negative feelings and resentment. Knowing the truth can help an adoptee to better process their past and forgive.

HEALING

Feelings of abandonment can leave some adoptees with issues such as separation anxiety and low self-esteem.

It’s easy to have negative, confused, or even angry feelings about having been placed for adoption.

Knowing the truth can bring a sense of peace and closure that benefits adoptees as well as their close family members.

CONNECTION

Knowing your birth parents means knowing your heritage, knowing your people. It provides a sense of finally knowing exactly where you fit. You finally know who you look like and can learn more about your unique personal family heritage.

This connection to past generations can broaden your self-identity and provide an even greater sense of belonging.

You may decide to learn a new language, visit a country where your ancestors lived or explore a new culture. This can make the shoe fit just right.

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Why do I need to find my dad?

According to the US Census Bureau, nearly a quarter of children grow up without a father figure in the home. Millions of others grow up with a father figure who is not their biological father. Some are the product of closed adoptions, raised by parents they thought were biologically related to them, only to learn that their biological parents are out there, somewhere. Others are raised in single-mother households, their father having left the family early on.

Whatever the cause, millions of adults are looking for—or thinking about looking for—their biological father. Thoughts such as the following tend to be recurring themes for such individuals.

I just want to know where I came from.

Why was I put up for adoption?

Why did my father leave?

Is there anyone out there that looks, or acts like me?

I want answers about my medical history.

Do I have unknown biological siblings out there?

How can i find my biological father without information?

These and many other unanswered questions can motivate people to search for their biological dad.

While there may be thousands of reasons a separation between child and father occurred, the urge to find biological father and to reconnect are universal. There is hope for reconciliation and reconnection with DNA testing and professional genealogical help.

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Discovering one’s biological parents or family roots is an exciting yet difficult process. A professional genealogy service can make ancestry research easier. When hiring a professional genealogist, check out the qualifications of the genealogy company, ask whether they give a satisfaction guarantee, and ask their genealogy fee structure. If satisfied, you can hire them to help you research your family tree. We at Origins have a passion for family history and ancestry research. We can trace your roots, help you uncover your ethnic heritage, locate your biological father or birth mother, create a detailed genealogy report, obtain original records (death records, cemetery records, naturalization records and other public records). For finding your birth parents, we can even do the initial contact and arrange a meeting. Origins is a global genealogy provider based in Salt Lake City. We can fulfill all your professional genealogy needs, from forensic genealogy to family tree research!

Origins International (801) 500-0900 https://originsintl.com/