original-writing-blog

[original-writing-blog]

Chapter 1 (The world Between Us)

*WARNING CONTAINS SENSITIVE TOPICS LIKE SUICIDE AND DRUGS*

I don't really remember what happened. It was May 14th the day after his 17th birthday and that’s when I got the call. Daniel. I picked up right away, It wasn’t like him to call. He told me he loved me. I told him I knew. Then he told me he didn’t want me to blame myself.

That’s when everything went blurry.

Next thing I knew I was driving to his house 30 miles above the speed limit and sobbing for him to stay on the phone. One house away from his was when he clicked off the phone. Then I heard the gunshot.

I ran into his house finding him on the floor. His blue eyes staring. I held him against me crying and crying and crying.

It’s been 2 weeks. I still have nightmares. I still stay up at night watching my phone, hoping, just hoping that this is all a bad dream and Daniel will text me. I don’t go to school any more. I just sit in my room with the door locked and replay those moments over and over in my head.

Every now and then my mom knocks on the door to tell me someone’s come over to talk. Sometimes I put on a robe and put my hair up, telling her they can come in, but I usually don’t respond.  

Daniel and I were friends. We weren’t dating. We never made out or had sex or any of it. We were strictly friends. That didn’t mean we didn’t have feelings for eachother. In 9th grade he asked me out. We’d been flirting for a couple months and almost everyone in the school was betting on our relationship to take off soon. I said yes as any girl would. He was cute and kind and funny. He checked all the boxes.

We went on about 3 dates and still he hadn’t once kissed me or held my hand. I don’t think he’d even told me I looked good. I almost felt abandoned. That’s when I realized something. He was the average guy. He was cute and kind and funny yes, but he wasn’t my kind of guy.

Let me tell you something about Ellie Goldman. Since 8th grade I’ve been one of the most wanted girls in our small town school. Right behind Olivia Reese, the most popular girl in school and Maddie Abrams this girl who was born the year before us, but missed the cut off by 5 days so she was always one step ahead of us in puberty. There were also many rumors that she and a guy from the year above us were dating, and you know how guys go crazy for girls with experience. The fact is I can have any guy I want- or I could. Like I said I haven’t gone to school in the passed 2 weeks-  And I was keeping myself in a relationship with this guy who couldn’t burst out of his own ego to at least tell me I looked good.

That’s at least how I felt. Look, he was my first relationship and I just NEEDED a guy who was going to sweep me off my feet in one motion.

I broke up with him on our ‘one month anniversary’. He took it pretty well. I explained that we were better off as friends. Then I hugged him and told him I was sorry.

It didn’t take to long for another guy to muster up some courage to ask me out. Joshua Holt. The biggest player in the school, but also one of the cutest guys and on top of that football player. I fell hard for him.

Daniel and I were still friends, we still texted. He constantly checked up on How Josh was doing, if he was treating me right, what he’d done on the date. Once he’d even asked if we’d made it to 3ed base.

Here’s another fun fact about Ellie Goldman. I’ve never had sex. Yup, I’m a virgin, and on top of that no one believes it. Or at least no one can believe it.  Daniel did. He never doubted anything I said, and I guess that was a good thing for me, but I’m not sure if it was healthy for him.

So Josh and I broke up. Or, we ‘took a break’. He hooked up with a bunch of girls and I had some time to flirt with guys without anyone yelling at me that I had a boyfriend. We ended up getting back together October Sophomore year and staying together until this school year started. He was tired of me and I was pretty done with him. He was fun, he was flirty and he knew how to treat me right, but he wasn’t the right guy.

This was when Daniel and I got too close. We started hanging out too much. He would tell me things a boyfriend would and shower me with gifts. I didn’t really want this treatment but I didn’t mind it either. Around February he started acting weird. He started talking weird, saying things like “When I’m gone…”. He also started drinking more and taking pills every witch way. Once I even caught him smoking a joint. My best friend, Anabel, said he was just acting up, trying to get my attention. Then it was the night of his 17th birthday and a bunch of his friends organized a party. It was supposed to be small get together, but it soon turned into a full out highschool party. Booz, drugs, hookups.

I couldn’t find Daniel anywhere, I thought he might have gone home because this party wasn’t even his anymore it was the schools. That’s when I found him in the bathroom, he’d forgotten to lock the door. He stood in front of the sink with a handful of sleeping pills in his palm. He turned to me, a shocked look on his face. “Ellie!” He exclaimed.

I rushed over to him and wrestled the pills out of his hands, throwing them away. Then I demanded what he was doing with them and where I got them. He dodged my question telling me he just needed a high.

I took him home and stayed with him till he fell asleep.

That’s all I know.

*This is a first draft so please no hate, if you have suggestions then please tell me in the comments*

[original-writing-blog]

The thing is, I don’t think people realize why it’s so hard for me, most of them think: She’s not trying hard enough or She just needs to live for the present and not for the past.

The World Between Us 

(The World Between is a novel that I’m currently working on)

Tell me if you want to actually read a chapter or two