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“i must be faking this for attention” thinks the girl who isn’t even telling anyone about it
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if you're interested in experiencing the most undignified way of having a bad time ever devised, then look no further than having a body
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🤪
#i feel sick with how much i’m feeling resentment towards you.#why did you agree to this if all it is is just another inconvenience for you
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do you ever have something happen to you and just know that it would've had an absolutely devastating impact on your capacity to endure if you'd been in an even 5% worse psychological state
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if you listen close you’ll hear me blowing my fucking brains out lmfao
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i don’t know what to say anymore.
#. . . . . . . . .#. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .#. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .#. . . . . . .#what’s the point in having a kid if you never want to be around them anyways.
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if another one of my friends comes up pregnant i might just rip my own throat out in joy to congratulate them
#things my therapist would say “oof” to#idk how to live this way anymore#i dont even know if i'll ever be in a good enough place in my life to even HAVE a kid of my own. when will i stop feeling.
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i just wanna love someone who calls me baby ):
#literally what is happening with my brain over a LESBIAN SONG 😭😭#i’ve been craving an mlm relationship where i don’t have to always be the strong one#and i can be soft#and my bf will hold me at night and a can lay in his lap while he plays with my hair and just..#i wish i had someone to love me in the way internet strangers love the characters i pretend to be. ._.
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today with mom i felt you there. for a fraction of a second, the scent of you came rushing to me and after all of these long years i knew it belonged to you. i didn’t forget you.
i’m sorry i lost your ring. i would wear it every day now if i still had it.
i wonder if you were there in the times that everything got so hard that i couldn’t remember your voice or the way you looked
i wonder if you’d be mad at me or if you would understand. i wish i knew you more than i did.
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ehehehe
sometimes i wonder if i would be in her place if i was a girl
that way you could allow yourself to be seen with me
to kiss me when other people are around
to not be afraid of how being with a boy would taint how others look at you
i miss what we had, but it’s nice to see that she makes you happy.
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so many people i know are pregnant and posting their journeys and i just. i want this stupid fucking body to just die already. like i’m so happy for them and all that but :/
it’s not even like we can handle another kid right now as is. maybe not even soon. but this is stupid and i hate everything about myself and it just makes it much more apparent to me that i don’t deserve ti be able to have things that i want because no matter how good it gets something *always* has to go wrong.
i just want the chance to be normal. for once in my life i want my body to work the way it’s supposed to. my brain to function like a decent human being’s should. to be able to work like a normal person and have friends and have the money to do things and have the things i need and want.
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