orelsemystery

[orelsemystery]

hey.

everything is terrible.

in this chapter, a conservative university administration threatens a queer scholar because they consider her work "pornographic." so it's feeling relevant to the state of the U.S. right now, and to some of the potential issues around censorship we may face in the next four years.

let's maybe do a better job sticking together in the face of this than the English department in this fictional university?

sending love and solidarity this week. 💜💜💜

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read it here. so sorry to all my medievalist friends.

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Read ch. 22 here. It was a favorite to write--Charles and Piper finally getting to talk about their queer feelings and what it's like to be the Watson to a Holmes. An excerpt:

Charles clears his throat again. His throat feels too tight to speak. He opens his mouth and what comes out is entirely beyond his control. “I kissed Julian.”

For a second Piper doesn’t speak. Then: “What?”

“I kissed him,” Charles says in a rush. “We kissed each other. More than once.”

Piper blinks. Their eyebrows have shot way up. “When?”

“Recently. Uh. the first time was about a week ago.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. Uh.”

“Oh my god. How long have you been working for him?”

Charles smiles shakily. “Since a few days before you showed up at his office.”

Piper’s eyes widen. “Seriously? I thought you’d known each other for a lot longer than that.”

“Well.” It’s Charles’ turn to look down at his lap. “I sort of have. He…he was in this TV show. Young Sherlock. When I was a kid. I was pretty much obsessed with it.”

Piper shakes their head. “Shit. Uh…does he know about that?”

“No.”

A pause. “Wow.”

“Yeah. He seems to not like people talking about it. So I never mentioned it. But like…I had his poster on my wall.”

“Fuck,” Piper breathes.

“Yes. So. I—the kissing.” Charles’ face is very hot. “I can’t tell if it’s—if it’s because—”

“Because you loved the TV version of him as a kid.”

“Right!” Charles hesitates, then adds in a rush: “Plus it’s the first time I’ve ever kissed a man. Maybe the first time I’ve ever wanted to? I don’t know. I don’t know! But. Now I’m thinking, like—could that be enough—the childhood detective stuff, is that enough to—to make me think that I—actually want to kiss him? But maybe I don’t? And it’ll just…wear off eventually?”

Piper stands up, rubbing their face distractedly as they pace to the window. “Holy shit.” They stare out at the brick wall opposite and say, “You’re in a fic. You’re in a Sherlock Holmes fic.”

Charles laughs a little. “I know.”

Piper whirls back around to face him. “This is absurd.”

“I know. I’ve read Lu’s stuff.”

“On Archive of Our Own?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit.” Piper sinks back down into the armchair.

“It’s just…” Charles hesitates. “What you were saying. About the way you make people into sort of mythical characters. How do you know…how do you know what’s real?”

“Oh.” Piper pauses, thinking. “I guess…I guess I don’t really care. I don’t really believe in ‘authenticity’ anyway.”

Charles lets this sink in. “But what if—if you get to know that person, say, and they’re not the way you imagined. Isn’t it, like…crushingly disappointing?”

Piper lets out a startled burst of a laugh. “Pretty much.” They shrug. “It’s worth it.”

“Yeah?”

They nod. “Although…I mean…it does hurt. Not even just the disappointment. Before that. The…wanting. If that makes sense.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.” Charles is quiet for a moment. “Do you think I could do that? Sort of—subconsciously manufacture an attraction to men because of some made-up idea of a detective I was obsessed with as a kid?”

Piper doesn’t answer right away. Eventually, they say, slowly, “I think most people would say no. That’s not how we like to think about queerness, or being bi—like, I’m supposed to tell you that you can be bi for a long time without realizing it, but now you are realizing it and you’ve always been bi and…and that could totally be true! Totally. But the possibility that you might sort of��temporarily feel this attraction that’s a kind of overflow of that intense fannish devotion to the Julian you remember as a kid…” They shrug. “It actually sounds possible to me.”

Charles’ stomach plummets. “Oh.”

“But,” Piper adds, “but that doesn’t mean—that doesn’t mean it’s, like, fake? Or dumb, or…like, if you feel attracted to him, that’s not—that’s real, even if it’s not…even if it’s because of some complicated thing happening in your head. Even if you’re not sure why you’re attracted to him, or how serious it is, it’s still real. I mean, if you like kissing him, you like kissing him.” Piper tilts their head. “Do you like kissing him?”

Charles nods.

“It seems to me that the question is, will this last. And also, maybe…how would it affect him if it didn’t?”

“Yeah,” Charles whispers. “Yes. What if I’m really fucking this up—what if I, I get to know him, the real him, and stop thinking of him as this mostly made-up persona, and I just…stop wanting him like that? And he feels like I’ve been lying, like I’ve been stringing him along—like I don’t really like him, just that made-up persona?”

Piper blows out a breath. “Yeah. I don’t know. I’m sorry, I…I’m either a really good person to ask or a really bad person to ask, I’m not sure which. I wish I could just be like, you’ve just realized you’re bi, congratulations! But…desire is so so complicated.”

“Right.” Charles swallows. He feels small. He looks down, trying not to show Piper the miserable expression he knows has just stolen across his face.

“Here’s a thing, though,” Piper says suddenly. “What do you want it to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you got to choose. Whether your attraction to Julian was some sort of fluke that will go away, or if you really do want him in a more serious and long-term kind of way?”

“I want to really want him,” Charles says immediately, and then his mouth falls open. He feels dumbstruck. “I…I didn’t know that.”

“It’s probably a good thing to know.”

Piper smiles at him. Their eyes meet, finally, and stay on each other.

[orelsemystery]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

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cannot stress enough how much I LOVE getting this message from Canvas when I'm trying to grade papers. thanks so much Canvas. you're working perfectly as always.

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J.C. Leyendecker is a never-ending source of inspiration when it comes to drawing pretty, sharp-dressed men...

It's always a tough choice whether to draw my beloved hair or make the clothing more historically accurate by adding hats........

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If you're an academic, think about what really bad stuff you could discover in your office. That's this chapter!

Read it here.

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"In The Epistemology of the Closet, Sedgwick writes: "the fact that silence is rendered as pointed and performative as speech, in relations around the closet, depends on and highlights more broadly the fact that ignorance is as potent and as multiple a thing there as is knowledge" (Sedgwick 4). She describes the very state of "closetedness" as "a performance initiated as such by the speech act of silence [...]" (Sedgwick 3). Our silence had never been hollow, an absence of words: instead, it was theatrical, conciliatory, convincing in what it disguised, affirming of people's assumptions, loud and provocative, a word play. Our existence was subtextual, we found shelter in the crevices of interpretation, we blossomed in the fields of others' guesswork."

© Sam L. Greene

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are you a Byron or Wilde apologist?

concerned citizens from 1895 are messaging me

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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

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t-shirt that says i find victorian repression erotic

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bad vibes! gay kissing! what more could you need

read chapter 20 here

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Truly like. Anyone can become a lawyer. Only a chosen few can write the next great american destiel fanfiction.

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Seeking the truth about aliens means a perfunctory nine-to-five job to some. For although Agent Diana Lesky is noble in spirit and pure at heart, she remains, nevertheless, a federal employee. As for her partner, Reynard Muldrake — a ticking time bomb of insanity — his quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche, one shudders to think how he receives pleasures from life.

THE X FILES GIF MEME [7/20] EPISODES Jose Chung's From Outer Space (3.20)

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IDK maybe this is a me thing but if I had planned a revenge murder on a train and then at the last minute a celebrity homicide detective was booked in the last cabin I would simply not go ahead with the murder.