orcapologist

[orcapologist]

[orcapologist]

[orcapologist]

@confirmedgeckos is sending a dragon our way! Luckily we don't have any meat on our bones!

[orcapologist]

You get trapped with two Dragon Age characters (spin the wheel) in one room for a day.

[orcapologist]

slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand

[orcapologist]

pubbys

[orcapologist]

i'm sorry but the "da fandom is a little racist BUT veilguard holds most of the blame for making davrin so irrelevent in the game" excuse is the weakest shit i've ever heard. no actually i genuinely think this is almost exclusively a fandom issue. like i won't argue that the "davrin vs harding choice is reliant on assan" shit john epler pushed was unbelievably racist and i won't argue that there's merit to the fact that it was tone deaf at Best to have the black man's character arc so reliant on his animal companion but i'm sorry you cannot fucking convince me that the "knight in shining armor with a gentle heart and a cute animal companion that takes you out on picnic dates and carves you little wooden trinkets" character is not almost Perfectly Engineered to be the most popular romance option in any game ever and yes i fully believe the only reason he isn't is entirely hinged on the fact that he's black and no amount of whataboutism towards the devs can convince me otherwise

[orcapologist]

hyperventilating

[orcapologist]

[orcapologist]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[orcapologist]

fucking crying because i thought this instagram reel was cutting edge comedy gold only to realize it is 100% serious… damn maybe i’m being poisoned

[orcapologist]

tiktok this and tiktok that… where was this amount of awareness when the jeremy renner app shut down. Where were you when it mattered.

[orcapologist]

Here’s a good one

[orcapologist]

one time a ranger 1 (so not law enforcement) at the state park where i worked was getting rid of a bunch of clothes so he put them all in garbage bags and dropped them off at the bunkhouse where all the seasonal employees lived and he said we could go through them before he donated them and we all took a tshirt or two and then a month later we were throwing a party and I was like "we should all wear his clothes to the party" and he came in and it took him like an hour and five drinks to suddenly be like "wait a minute.................."

[orcapologist]

hi yes hello what the fuck is metrosexual lmfao

It's hard to explain to zoomers just how insanely homophobic the early 2000s were. If you were male, and like, washed your hair regularly, people would call you a faggot.

So, dudes who washed their hair and wore button ups developed the term "metrosexual" which meant "I care about my appearance but I am attracted to women and don't have sex with men."

[orcapologist]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[orcapologist]

we've been doing this thing called "hitting the nosferatu" where you hunch your shoulders and walk towards things while pointing with a long creepy finger