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The Onion’s journalism is the only journalism that matters. Holy fuck.
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me: oh my sauce is missing sometjing. help
garlic:
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It's been 15 years since one of the best scenes of Doctor Who 😭😭
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This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. We’ve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own… save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.
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me (wearing my ultra zoom x100 mega magnifying goggles): does your dog bite?"
you: what?
me: your dog?
tardigrade that lives in the stagnant puddle you happen to be standing beside: *chewing on a coincidentally squeaky toy shaped algae cell*
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