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orac6 · 3 months ago

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How Tangled Helped Me Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, Part I

TW: Mature Themes

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Disney movies have gotten everyone through the worst times of their lives, or have at least tried to. They carry valuable lessons that we all should share and teach, and remind us that no matter who or what we are, we deserve a happily ever after, whether that's through finding love, going the distance, or accepting and breaking free of what's holding you back.

Today, I'm going to be sharing how one Disney movie changed my life forever.

The opening of Tangled to me represented my childhood. No, I was not a magical princess born from a magic flower with magic, glowing hair. As much as I wanted to be.

At first, everything seemed normal; I was too little to tell what wasn't. A literal baby. Everything seemed like sunshine and rainbows to me. But then, my narcissistic parents "stole" me from the childhood I could have had.

I won't get into detail, and at least they didn't isolate me and lock me into a tower through my formative years. But as much as they tried, pretended to be caring, loving parents... they fell back. I took it as them trying to care, because they were all I had really ever known since I could remember. Of course I didn't blame them for how they treated me. How they tried to isolate me from my sisters, how they spoke down on me, hurt me beyond words. I thought the abuse was normal, deserved even, until much later on in life.

"You know what I see? I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady. Oh look, you're here too!"

I had to laugh to cope. If I showed any emotion, everything would blow up, and it would be my fault. I mean, her calling me fat and a failiure was truly just a joke, right? I was used to walking on eggshells.

Alright, not my 18th birthday, but on some random day in March. I was spending my life at home, depressed with my parents there. They would fight often, and always found a reason to argue with me, which was never great. Nothing I did could ever make them satisfied or proud of me. They ended up moving out of the country, but even with them gone, their presence still lingered through my phone. I dealt with constant requests, drive this, buy this, check this. I was watching their house while they were away, so of course I obeyed, but it was overwhelming, especially since the house was huge, and I was the only one in it, for the most part. Sure, I was saving money, but staying in that house costed me my mental health. I knew that I needed a change. On a whim, I applied for an internship that I had been dying to pursue. I applied previously about three years prior, but couldn't go due to college conflicts. Now, I would have graduated, so that means I can get my foot in the door with this company, and could also watch as it lead me to my dream part-full-time job. Cool.

I expressed that I wanted to do this, that I would eventually land that job here and live here. My mom told me that I could do it, but I'd regret it. Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand, cannibals and snakes, the plague. Yes. Her anxiety was basically just like the song. At least, that's what it was, right? Just her anxiety. And besides, mother had always known best. Totally not controlling at all.

Regardless, I left to do the internship. And for the first time ever, I felt completely free.

Of course, I ran into a man along the way. Something brought him to me. Call it what you will, fate, destiny, a dating app. Yep, I had met him online and had decided to trust him (my mom despises the idea of dating apps already). He didn't have a lot of money, didn't have a degree like I did, and he was basically a diamond in the rough- (wait, wrong movie).

..but I still loved talking to him, admiring how calm and thoughtful he was. I was terrified to meet him in person, even if it was in a public place. Mainly because I thought that he'd be a man with pointy teeth - or just a plain serial killer. But he proved me wrong. He took me out on lovely, amazing dates and was so kind and caring in every way. I loved every part of him, flaws and all. We told each other about who we were and our stories, and I started to see him for who he was; not some trouble-maker incel, but a deserving, yet hurt man who deeply cared about me and treated me perfectly. I even did "see the light" on our first date, as we both watched a rocket launch into the sky. And ironically, we even ended up singing that very song together as a duet after we went to Disney World. We opened up to each other, laughed, learned about each other in the most wholesome ways, similar to a fairy-tale. I just knew he was the one for me.

Then, my mother showed up. Yesterday night, actually! She gave her "Mother knows best" spiel. I was telling her how happy I was, how I want to live where I am now, pursue that dream job, get that apartment, and be outside of the comfort of my own home because that was my dream, and.. how this man liked me. She wanted me to come home, saying that I couldn't possibly survive where I am and that I'd be "homeless" if I didn't. Yet I put my foot down, and said no.

"No? Oh. I see how it is."

"Rapunzel knows best, Rapunzel's so mature now, such a clever grown up miss."

My mom told me how she thought that I knew what was better for me, when she said that she does all along.

"Rapunzel knows best, fine if you're so sure now, go ahead then, give him this!"

She throws money into my face, telling me that I could never survive financially on my own, even though I have been. I haven't gone broke once, which is a basic goal but it could be worse. She thinks that my boyfriend will cause my money to drain, which isn't true.

"This is why he's here! Don't let him deceive you, give it to him, watch, you'll see!"

She also had a history of telling me that guys would only want one thing.. I won't get too deeply into it, but you get the idea. Ironically, the guy I met rarely wants that with me.

"Trust me my dear, 🫰 that's how fast he'll leave you, I won't say I told you so!"

My mom said that she's no longer going to help me financially (she hasn't in the first place, really), and that she'll tell me that she did "tell me so" when I become homeless and "poor."

"No, Rapunzel knows best! So if he's such a dreamboat, go and put him to the test!"

"I will!"

And I am, right now. We plan on moving in together, and I'm going to pay my side of rent. It's going to be scary, but I know that with time, I won't be afraid anymore.

"If he's lying, don't come crying! Mother knows best!"

She says that I have to talk to my dad (even scarier than my mom) or siblings (they don't care) if I needed help, because she's not going to help me anymore when my money runs out, which it never has and it never will. So she breaks things off with me because she's "done" with my stance of being happy and staying where I am.

My boyfriend then comforts me, and lets me know that her behavior isn't normal. I once again feel comfortable, and now, we're here.

Part two of this post will come out in August, featuring even more comparions and reflections, because that is truly when my life will begin. I'll (hopefully) have a car, a new bank account so my parents can't "take" money as a punishment, and a new, calming home with the man I love. The first part of this post alone just made me realize how similar our stories were, and that no matter what I was going through, no matter how I felt, I would never be alone. I hope you take that same idea with you.

Thank you for reading!

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See you in the future!

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#disney #tangled #disney animation #rapunzel #tw abuse #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse #story #storytime

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