open-up-my-eager-eyes

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travelling back to the paleolithic era to explain to a neanderthal that in the future there will be food that is simultaneously disgusting and also the best tasting food you've ever eaten. the neanderthal nods and says "oh yeah we have that" and leads me to a clearing in the woods where a perfectly normal mcdonalds sits.

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me irl

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i unironically believe electricity is the closest thing we have to magic in this universe. consider:

it's basically what human "souls" are made of (your consciousness is the result of miniscule amounts of electric charge jumping between neurons in your brain)

when handled incorrectly or encountered in the wild, it is a deadly force that can kill you in at least half a dozen different ways

when treated respectfully and channeled into the proper conduits, it is a power source that forms the backbone of modern society

if you engrave the right sigils into a rock and channel electricity into it, you can make the rock think

there is a dedicated caste of mages (electrical engineers) tasked with researching it in ivory towers

whatever the fuck Galvani was doing with those frog legs

look at this and just try to tell me it isn't a kind of summoning circle

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"It only tastes good if you ignore the fact that it has things in it that taste good"

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people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud

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I think abt the left 4 dead 2 graffiti so often. Like they really had the human condition nailed huh.

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It should be illegal or something to sing “This Land Is Your Land” without the secret verses

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im actually losing my mind over this screenshot from the football world cup

its just the fact he's writing too?? like???

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Dewey’s purse

(Clip from Malcolm in the Middle, S2:E11)

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2011: haha!!! i’m so addicted to tumblr!!! I’M NEVER GOING TO LEAVE!

2014: i want to leave but i cant…. why did i take that vow to never leave….. how do i get out of this eternal hell…

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Nice try FBI

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You know what, even IF trans girls were universally better at sports than cis girls, they should still be allowed to play on their high school sports teams because the mental health and well-being of trans kids, the social support kids get from sports, and the societal benefit of basic inclusion and normalization of trans kids are more important than who wins a volleyball game or whatever

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TIL: Paper airplanes were not created to mimic real airplanes. They predate them.

via beatlyzer.com