onouvan - Tumblr blog

[onouvan]

You’re such an amazing artist, please please do more Ajin

I'm so late to this oml, I'm not really active on tumblr anymore but you can find me on Instagram @jason_is_confused

[onouvan]

[onouvan]

This is literally the last month you can reblog this joke

[onouvan]

How Obama joked: here is a video of my birth *shows clip from Lion King*

How Trump jokes: haha my vice president wants to kill all the gay people

[onouvan]

Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[onouvan]

what they say: cats are evil and unable to love

what they mean: i dont know how to handle small animals and consider them lashing out in SELF DEFENSE an insult

[onouvan]

#ourgeneration horror stories

They find a book written in Latin… one guy doesn’t take Latin and doesn’t want to mess up the pronunciation. The girl is studying Mandarin. Another guy recommends sticking it into Google Translate but that’s likely to land them with gibberish. They leave it alone.

The car won’t start. They call an Uber.

The vampire captures the girl and insists that she wears the gown to dinner. The gown is actually hella cute. Only problem is it’s not in her size. Oh, it only comes in 2’s and 4’s? Sorry, vamp, you want me in that dress you contact the goddamn company and tell them to get their shit together.

“How did you possibly know that? It saved our lives!” “I’ve got two degrees and I spend way too much time on Wikipedia.”

They encounter a spirit that gains power the more people believe in it. One girl makes a vine and uploads with, “fakest ghost ever!!! Right??” Twenty minutes later the spirit is destroyed.

The circus is in town tonight. Except she’s lived her whole life here and the circus has never come before… it’s also in a pretty sketchy part of town, not somewhere you’d want to walk alone at night. She goes to a movie instead.

“You’d need an ARMY to fight this evil!” “Okay. I’ve got 20,000 followers, lets see how many can make it.”

The Evil Whispery Voice of Doom tells the jock that it’s going to kill his pretty blonde girlfriend. The jock gets offended because, excuse me, Cindy and I are just friends. However, Marty over there is my boyfriend and I’m not saying you should kill him, just stop making assumptions yeah?

“This spirit tried to convince me it was Jerry when it texted but its texting style is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT so yeah that didn’t work.”

We could have easily gotten lost and ended up at some creepy cabin in the woods, but luckily we all had functioning GPSs. Beach party, we’ve arrived!

“We have to find a way to destroy it! We—what are you doing?” “Looking up ‘exorcising demons’ on Google. Oh look, first hit.”

The child she bares will be the devil’s spawn. Good thing she doesn’t want kids. Or if she changes her mind she can always adopt.

“How can we possibly outwit this serial killer…” “… There’s gotta be an app for that. Lemme look.”

Only the virgin will survive… Turns out they’re all virgins. One is asexual. One wants to wait until marriage. Two just haven’t found the right person yet. One is meh about sex. So we all survive, yeah?

The girl does not fall. She was on varsity track.

“Quick! We need someplace to hide the artifact. And then decoys to confuse the beast! What have we got?” “… I’ve got a hundred plastic bags stuffed into another plastic bag.” “PERFECT.” 

[onouvan]

The HORROR

[onouvan]

My biggest advice to men talking to women: ask questions. Like beyond if we’ve heard of something. I’m talking to a guy right now who is nice, he’s very nice, he’s interesting, it’s fine, but he has not asked me anything except if I’m familiar with the thing he’s currently lecturing on. And god knows I’m talking a lot too because I know how to elbow my way into a conversation, especially if I disagree, but it is an epidemic (especially when I’m talking to nerdy boys, I gotta be honest) that they just. Don’t. Ask. No one likes to spend a conversation feeling like an audience who occasionally is allowed to shout something at the stage.

[onouvan]

It's almost like guns are tools designed to kill people, and having a tool designed to kill people makes it easier to kill people.

[onouvan]

HAPPY BDAY INCINEROAR

[onouvan]

Just a Dad teaching his sons the way the world works

(Credit to @incorrectbnhaquotes and Brooklyn 99 for this scene)

[onouvan]

Tree doctoring

[onouvan]

10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET

You save a life.

The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet.

Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines.

There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater.

Many are already trained.

Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights.

Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what.

Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home.

An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level.

Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems.

Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you!

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[onouvan]

[onouvan]

nap time, babey!!!