onlysigninguptoreadstuff-blog - Tumblr blog

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this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

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Wh-

Why did you write this?

I had to write a script for a performance of translating a verse into gen z slang. is it bad that I put "flex on everyone with your lightmaxxing" and "You all are the best, absolute gigachads" in it?

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not only are there no bad languages there are also no bad or annoying dialects

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the greatest part of friendship is horrifying your friends with the totally normal parts of your life

like sleeping with three blankets and long pants in the summer or eating brussel sprouts with hot fudge

or pronouncing gif wrong

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When I got a blood test today, the lab technician thanked me for hydrating so much so that my blood was easy to draw and I felt so happy that I did a good job! I got a good grade in blood, something both normal to want and possible to achieve!

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not only are there no bad languages there are also no bad or annoying dialects

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every day i think about jesus and the samaritan woman at the well. she really said why are you bothering to speak to me? do i matter to someone? does god see people like me? and jesus really said i see you. i love you. god loves all the people you've been told god doesn't love. and honestly when i realized that i wanted to drop a water pot and run screaming about it into town too

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PLEASE pray fervently rn that my insurance accepts a medication I need

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Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.

MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY

That aside.

 I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome. 

1) Canned chicken and beef 

looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins. 

2) Fancy nut butters

Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)

3) Canned or packaged tuna

You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend. 

4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like) 

Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry. 

5) Shelf-stable juice

This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives. 

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The toadstools grew in a perfect ring the width of a child’s hula hoop.

They were upside down and clinging to the ceiling like stalactites.

“I have concerns,” she said.

“So do I,” they said. “If I step under it, does it count as stepping into a fairy circle? I mean, if a plane flies over a fairy circle it doesn’t count as stepping into it, but do the same rules apply if you’re walking under a fairy circle?”

“Right.”

“Actually, what is the area of effect for a fairy circle? Is it like a sphere that has the same circumference of the circle, so if I just duck underneath it I’ll be fine? Or is it a cylinder? How far up does the cylinder go? Or down, in this case.”

“Right.”

“Some of the many mysteries of the fey we may wonder about forever.”

They continued to stare up at the ring of toadstools. Thoughtful seconds ticked by.

“See, my concerns are mostly about how much moisture you have in your room.”

“Sorry?”

“You have mushrooms growing out of your ceiling.”

“Oh.”

She patted their back with sympathetic pity. “I appreciate that you live in a world of whimsy and delight, and I don’t want to squash that because I love you, but I also really don’t want you to die of black mold.”

“She’s right, you know,” said the goblin sitting upside down in the circle.

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“Generically medieval”, by which we mean our peerage is French, our castles are German, our weapons are Italian, and everybody speaks English.

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Seeing your name in a random post and fearing for your life for a second until you realize it’s a Bible quote and you are no in fact being thrown into Nebuchadnezzar’s furnace and God would miraculously save you anyways

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At first I was confused when they showed Mario wearing the worried expression while Luigi looked calm and cheerful in this situation:

Normally it's the other way around, right? Then I realized that this probably happened immediately after the close call with the cliff.

So Luigi is all fine and dandy because his bro saved him, but Mario's still kinda emotionally recovering from the incident. I am very normal about that.

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ice cold take but if you have to pay for accessibility features it is not in fact accessible