onlyaphcse

[onlyaphcse]

Kate knew this wasn’t an ideal situation for @midnightxmission. She’d gone through similar with Jubes; even a vampire with control and a conscience could be tempted. But the sooner they got her cut patched up, the better. Less temptation, less issues all around.

“Ow, ow, hey, vampire strength— I mean. Thank you. Really, I appreciate it.” But ouch, that was very sore. Well, Kate supposed that it was fair that the pressure had to be such to stop her bleeding out. Or that would be the case if it was a horrific wound. It was a cut. She just wanted the blood to not get on her clothes. Or excite a vampire.

The brunette gave a wince, but she was fine overall. Kate had taken worse hits than this. More, it was pride that was actually hurt by it all. The intangible girl getting cut. Figured. Somewhere out there, Bobby was laughing at her.

“Thanks for helping, Reese. I appreciate it. I take it, tall, suited, and tries-to-be-spooky is out..?” Not that Kate minded but she didn’t want Reese in trouble. Not that she was sure why she would be I trouble but— oh whatever.

Non-Verbal Angst Prompts !! accepting

[ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds

[onlyaphcse]

🐝  *  ―  𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. (  some triggering content ahead. add " + " to reverse the action.  )

[ wipe ] sender wipes away receiver's tears [ hurt ] sender hurts receiver with words [ lonely ] sender finds receiver alone in a dark room [ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying [ help ] sender runs to receiver when they scream for help [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare [ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying [ hold on ] sender pulls receiver into their arms [ anger ] sender takes their anger out on receiver [ argue ] sender gets into a heated argument with receiver [ scared ] sender scares receiver [ sick ] sender cares for receiver while they are sick [ palm ] sender places a hand on receiver to stop them from doing something [ fight ] sender gets into a physical fight with receiver [ comfort ] sender tries to comfort receiver [ blood ] sender notices that receiver is bleeding [ collapse ] sender collapses into receiver's arms [ pressure ] sender puts pressure on receiver's wound [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face [ panic ] sender helps receiver through a panic attack [ lie ] sender catches receiver in a lie [ sobs ] sender sobs uncontrollably while receiver holds them [ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them [ death ] sender just died, receiver finds out [ chin up ] sender lifts receiver's chin to stop them from hiding their tears [ fears ] sender talks to receiver about their fears [ scream ] sender screams at receiver [ coping ] sender teaches receiver some coping mechanisms [ loss ] sender is there for receiver after they've lost someone important to them [ needs ] sender asks receiver what they need [ bullet ] sender takes a bullet for receiver [ bruises ] sender finds bruises of unknown origin on receiver [ rainfall ] sender finds receiver out alone in the rain [ hospital ] sender wakes up in a hospital bed and finds receiver sitting by their bedside [ intrude ] sender walks in on receiver treating their wounds [ calming ] sender tries to calm down receiver [ inspection ] sender holds receiver's face while inspecting an injury they got [ rescue ] sender carries receiver to safety [ clean ] sender cleans blood off of receiver's body

[onlyaphcse]

The brunette didn't particular mind a good gossip session. 'Yana always had the juiciest, most scandalous, and appalling news to share, Rachel was always the best to bounce conspiracies off, and Wanda? Well, Wanda had access to Avengers-level gossip. Not to mention it was always rather fun.

Besides, Kate was certain she'd worked out that there was a guy in Wanda's life she was getting all kissy-kissy with (or at least wanted to be kissy-kissy with). So today the focus of the gossip was the witch herself and @writteninscarlet was NOT forthcoming.

i happen to like nice men.

Kate rolled her eyes good naturedly at the comment that had no substance. It was a boring statement to make.

"That tells me nothing at all. Tell me any guy in your life and I could give you nice and not-so-nice, hell, even naughty information on them. NICE. Come on, Wanda, you can tell me more than that."

Wanda might not drink, but Kate had a bottle of Logan's suds to hand. Sometimes you needed something cool and refreshing, and since she drank about oh, hardly ever? she could have a night off to relax like this.

Kate doubted she'd actually learn who Wanda liked, and the topic would be dropped soon so as not to actually pressure her friend. But all this secrecy? Ugh, Kate hated it.

"So, are we talking team mate? Very cliche, but proximity makes people feel all loved up. Team mates can be a good way to go. Or maybe it isn't a team mate? Someone totally out of the blue? It can be nice to learn about someone as you go along. Expect the unexpected, some fresh blood. ...I know from last time we talked that it ain't Vizh. And I'm pretty sure it's not Steve. Is it Coffee-Date-Clint? Oh, are you now to give me an expose on Tony? Though considering how often I hack into his files--" or try to "--I could tell you about him."

No? Too much? Maybe it really wasn't a 'team mate' as such.

"Fine, fine. 'Nice men'. Pfft. You make me laugh."

prompts from The Empire Strikes Back !! accepting

[onlyaphcse]

PROMPTS FROM THE STAR WARS - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK SCRIPT *  assorted lines from the 1980 SCRIPT written by lawrence kasdan and leigh brackett (so it might not be accurate to the actual film), adjust as necessary

i've finished my circle and i haven't picked up any life readings.

i'm heading back to the base.

i'll see you shortly.

what's the matter? you smell something?

it's going to be difficult to spot approaching ships.

you're leaving?

you're an extraordinary fighter. i hate to lose you.

well, don't get all mushy on me.

you said you were going to stay. what happened?

don't give me that look.

you're so terrified of your own emotions.

you want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.

i respect you. you're a bold fighter, maybe not the brightest...

you're imagining things.

i say you came running after me because you were afraid i was leaving you without even a kiss.

believe me, you could use a good kiss.

i've had it with your noble mission.

we'll meet again. maybe you'll have grown up a little by then.

i'll see you in hell.

you must survive, [name].

come on, buddy, you aren't dead yet. give me a sign here. don't do this, [name], it's not your time.

we haven't got much time.

nice of you guys to drop by.

we have a visitor.

whatever it is, it isn't friendly.

i'm afraid there's not much left.

now don't panic. we don't know that.

i think we've found them.

how do you know it's them?

does it still hurt?

what would you think if i went away for a while?

what do you mean, you took care of that?

that's two you owe me, junior.

i don't know what he's talking about.

you must have gone completely out of your feeble mind.

we must hold them off until all our ships are safely away.

don't worry. you haven't seen the last of us.

let's get out of here before we become permanent residents.

it's no good! i can't see!

i don't know if there's anyone left alive in there.

someday you're going to be wrong, and i just hope i'm there to see it.

you don't have to do this to impress me.

if you said you thought coming here was a bad idea, i'm beginning to agree with you.

being held by you isn't enough to get me excited.

i must admit there are times i don't understand human behavior.

i'm looking for someone.

hey, that's my dinner!

my hands are dirty.

why are you trembling?

i happen to like nice men.

we've discussed this before.

i will not fail you. i'm not afraid.

that is why you fail.

it's not my fault! i can't understand it!

i'm still not sure what you've accomplished.

not bad, hot shot. not bad.

i feel cold.

i always said you were a gentleman.

sorry, am i interrupting anything?

would you care to join me for a little refreshment?

once you've made this decision, i cannot interfere.

i was worried about you.

i've done what i can for you.

show yourself, or do you fear me?

you'll find i'm full of surprises.

i'll die first.

you are beaten. it is useless to resist.

[onlyaphcse]

various things spoken in an adventuring party pt.2

part 2 of an assortment of quotes and sayings i've found doom scrolling through pinterest that i think an adventuring party would say during their never ending perilous adventures . please do not copy/repost or add to this list, thank you!

Affectionate ❛ i am in love with an idiot ❜ ❛ i’d be his if he asked  ❜ ❛ even your rage is beautiful  ❜ ❛ there’s still good in you  ❜ ❛ my darling, you will never be unloved by me ❜ ❛ you are too well tangled in my soul  ❜

Questions ❛ are you a monster or a victim?  ❜ ❛ can anyone betray anyone?  ❜ ❛ who in the fuck authorized this?  ❜ ❛ where do you purchase your audacity from? ❜ ❛ why is everyone in this kingdom so gods damned stupid?  ❜ ❛ if you don’t terrify people a little bit, then what’s the point? ❜

Banter ❛ people can do worse things than kill you  ❜ ❛ gods help anyone who dares to disrespect me/you  ❜ ❛ magic always comes with a price  ❜ ❛ the gods love to fuck with us  ❜ ❛ i’ve got a spell for that  ❜ ❛ i do very bad things, and i do them very well  ❜

Tragedy ❛ anyone can betray anyone ❜ ❛ not all of us are going to make it out alive ❜ ❛ i was once a child with innocent eyes ❜ ❛ i remember all of them ❜ ❛ i’ve been having a bad day for the past several years ❜ ❛ a golden cage is still just a cage ❜

Fierce ❛ what i did, i did for us ❜ ❛ if they touch you, i’ll break their necks ❜ ❛ it appears that you have mistaken my dislike of causing harm as an inability to do so. ❜ ❛ you are divine violence ❜ ❛ burn it all. ❜ ❛ i am so much more than you told me i was ❜

Antagonistic ❛ lets cause a little trouble ❜ ❛ i think you’re caught between who you are and who you want to be ❜ ❛ tell me what it’s like to conquer  ❜ ❛ you’re a little tragedy, aren’t you? ❜ ❛ disrespectfully, i decline  ❜ ❛ with all due respect, which is none- ❜

Neutral ❛ there’s bravery in being soft ❜ ❛ the trees told me about you ❜ ❛ i do not care for your god. ❜ ❛ if i can still breathe, i’m fine ❜ ❛ i’m nice as fuck. ❜

Comedic Relief ❛ do you mean to give me another one of your stoic nod? ❜ ❛ if you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask stupid questions ❜ ❛ i’ll get over it. i just need to be dramatic first. ❜ ❛ what’s your favorite pastime? mine is reckless behavior ❜ ❛ i’m definitely the nicest asshole you could ever hope to meet ❜ ❛ i wanna contribute to the chaos ❜ ❛ we can’t giggle, we’re at a crime scene! ❜ ❛ the nonsense has escalated ❜ ❛ go stand over there. your existence is giving me a headache ❜ ❛ being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ❜

BONUS FROM THE HERO TO THE VILLAIN ❛ you took everything from me ❜ ❛ haven’t you taken enough from me? ❜ ❛ go ahead. underestimate me. that’ll be fun. ❜ ❛ touch me and you’ll burn ❜ ❛ the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated ❜ FROM THE VILLAIN TO THE HERO ❛ don’t bleed on my floors ❜ ❛ people will never bleed enough to fulfill your vision of justice ❜ ❛ i am the child/daughter/son of a king who forgot my name ❜ ❛ i am the end of all things; i have drunk the blood of kings. ❜ ❛ congratulations, you have survived! ❜

[onlyaphcse]

PROMPTS FROM GHOSTBUSTERS (1984) *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary. who ya gonna call?

i want you to concentrate.

you can't see these, can you?

i'm getting a little tired of this!

what are you trying to prove here, anyway?

will you excuse me for a second?

we're close on this one. i can feel it.

you are a legitimate phenomenon.

this is big, [name], this is very big. there is definitely something here.

that would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

i hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.

back off, man. i'm a scientist.

listen! do you smell something?

this happened to you before?

could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please?

one of us should actually try to speak to it.

i'm gonna take back some of the things i've said about you.

the possibilities are limitless!

this is preposterous. i demand an explanation.

your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable.

you don't know what it's like out there.

for whatever reasons... call it fate, call it luck, call it karma, i believe that everything happens for a reason.

where are we going to get the money?

i think this building should be condemned.

hey, does this pole still work?

wow, this place is great. when can we move in?

you gotta try this pole.

hey, we should stay here tonight! sleep here! you know, try it out!

you wanna come in for a mineral water or something?

are you troubled by strange noises in the night?

have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or ghost?

we're ready to believe you!

you can't park that here!

i bet you like to read a lot, too.

i collect spores, mold, and fungus.

i'd like to talk to someone, please.

what i'm about to say may sound a little unusual.

i'm sorry, i don't believe in any of those things.

if something's gonna happen here, i want it to happen to me first.

you don't act like a scientist.

i'm gonna go for broke. i am madly in love with you.

i bet you're going to be thinking about me after i'm gone.

hey, anybody seen a ghost?

did you ever report it to anyone?

i hope we can take care of this quietly.

well, no sense worrying about it now.

i think we'd better split up.

don't move. it won't hurt you.

i feel so funky.

there's something very important i forgot to tell you.

wait wait wait! i've always wanted to do this.

well, that wasn't such a chore now, was it?

we came! we saw! we kicked its ass!

you're a big celebrity now.

so who the hell was that?

i'm not at liberty to say.

i want to know more about what you do here.

that's a big twinkie.

do you have any excedrin or extra strength tylenol?

listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in.

that's a different look for you, isn't it?

do you want this body?

i want you inside me.

you said before you were waiting for a sign. what sign are you waiting for?

i have a terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you.

i think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

how about a little music?

you had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. well, now it's my turn, wise ass.

i'm not interested in your opinion.

if he does that again, you can shoot him.

i am going to get you a nice fruit basket.

i was in no way prepared for that.

you wanna play rough?

are you a god?

let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!

i couldn't help it. it just popped in there.

well, that's something you don't see every day.

sorry, [name]. i'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

i feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

[onlyaphcse]

Kate wasn’t used to the hunt. When she went out, there was a destination and fight already in mind. She hardly sought to create situations (unless pissed off, and okay maybe that happened fairly often).

She also wasn’t used to paranormal supernatural style situations. Monster hunting? She enjoyed watching Buffy, did that count? There were certainly a few people in that show she’d be alright meeting. And there she was, going on a tangent.

Her focus needed to be on the here and now, not on a cult show.

She glanced to the woman at her side. @midnightxmission was a strange one. But Kate was alright with that. The redhead could take care of business. And Tabby spoke fairly highly of her. So Kate trusted her for now. Still, she was a bit brusque, no?

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

Kate gave a soft scoff, looking away and nodding. “I guess I get that. I didn’t mean to put it that way. To each their own.” Kate wasn’t really like either of her parents. Maybe that was a good thing, though neither had been so bad.

“But - and forgive me if I’m wrong - this IS a family business. Isn’t it?” She glanced to Elsa once more, then continued walking. “Guess it’s easy to fall into family footsteps, but it must suck, too.”

fillory & further, sentence starters !! accepting

[onlyaphcse]

mini Starter call !! I am here and I will be writing this afternoon. The kitty muse is loud and proud. Let her annoy you.

[onlyaphcse]

Kitty Pryde in Uncanny X-Men 174

[onlyaphcse]

↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

[onlyaphcse]

mini Starter call !! I am here and I will be writing this afternoon. The kitty muse is loud and proud. Let her annoy you.

[onlyaphcse]

Plotting Call !! I am for real ready to write. I swear. But if anyone wants to plot or ship, hit the like and I’ll hit you up!

[onlyaphcse]

Plotting Call !! I am for real ready to write. I swear. But if anyone wants to plot or ship, hit the like and I’ll hit you up!

[onlyaphcse]

(   ★ .˚      𝐗-𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐕𝐎𝐋.𝟒    [   PT. 1   ]

★   .     sentence  starter  meme.     a  collection  of  starters  taken  from  marvel  comics’s  x - men  v4,    issue  #1.     feel  free  to  change  pronouns  and  tenses  as  necessary.

“  i must be on the next plane to jfk.  ”

“  we have trouble.  ”

“  i don’t have time to explain.  ”

“  are you sure about this? this is no small thing…  ”

“  if she needs help, i’d rather get to her sooner than later.  ”

“  we do this clean and fast.  ”

“  you have to let go of my hand.  ”

“  what are you doing here?  ”

“  what are you doing with a baby?  ”

“  this is private property!  ”

“  you don’t recognize that guy?  ”

“  i surrender, utterly and completely.  ”

“  can we talk?  ”

“  time is somewhat of the essence.”

“  i’m being followed.  ”

“  i’m pretty sure he was on the plane, too.  ”

“  it’s really scaring me.  ”

“  i just want to be home.  ”

“  babies hate me!  ”

“  i’m not as underslept and grossed out by poop as i was.  ”

“  you carry him in a backpack?  ”

“  it’s him! the guy following me!  ”

“  we’re trapped?!  ”

“  it’s the metro north, not a tank.  ”

“  welp, bad news, guys…  ”

“  some sort of electrical malfunction, i think.  ”

“  oh yeah, incoming train, awesome.  ”

“  get clear!  ”

“  she’s the muscle?  ”

“  she’s the gun pointed right at your head.  ”

“  i’ll remind you again. i did surrender.  ”

“  it’s possible she has no limits.  ”

“  call us if you need anything.  ”

“  this will come to pass.  ”

“  i am inadequate to the task of stopping her.  ”

“  this is quite literally a life or death situation. for everyone.  ”

“  as amazingly absurd as all that sounded, he’s telling the truth.  ”

“  SECURE THE INFANT!  ”

“  it’ll kill us all.  ”

“  i’ve returned.  ”

[onlyaphcse]

SOME PROMPTS FOR PICKING UP/CARRYING MUSES BC WHY NOT

1)  for sender to pick up a sleepy receiver and carry them to bed.

2)  for receiver to pick up a sleepy sender and carry them to bed. 

3)  our muses are hiking and receiver is tired so sender picks them up to carry them the rest of the way. 

4)  our muses are hiking and sender is tired so receiver picks them up to carry them the rest of the way. 

5)  for sender to pick up receiver who keeps insisting they aren’t tired and carry them to bed anyway. 

6)  for receiver to pick up sender who keeps insisting they aren’t tired and carry them to bed anyway. 

7)  sender has been sitting in receiver’s lap but receiver needs to get up for something,  so they just simply carry sender with them. 

8)  receiver has been sitting in sender’s lap but sender needs to get up for something,  so they just simply carry receiver with them. 

9)  sender sprained their ankle so receiver sweeps them into their arms to carry them to get treated. 

10)  receiver sprained their ankle so sender sweeps them into their arms to carry them to get treated. 

11)  sender walks into kitchen while receiver is cooking,  receiver picks them up and sets them on the counter. 

12)  receiver walks into kitchen while sender is cooking,  sender picks them up and sets them on the counter. 

13)  our muses are kissing and sender picks up receiver to make it easier. 

14)  our muses are kissing and receiver picks up sender to make it easier. 

15)  sender picks up receiver and places them on the hood of their car while talking. 

16)  receiver picks up sender and places them on the hood of their car while talking. 

17)  sender picks up receiver and places them on the hood of their car while making out. 

18)  receiver picks up sender and places them on the hood of their car while making out. 

19)  things are getting heated between our muses and sender picks up receiver,  placing them on a table/desk/counter rather than making it to the bed. 

20)  things are getting heated between our muses and receiver picks up sender,  placing them on a table/desk/counter rather than making it to the bed. 

21)  sender picks up receiver just because. 

22)  receiver picks up sender just because. 

23)  our muses are walking somewhere together and sender spontaneously picks up receiver to carry them the rest of the way. 

24)  our muses are walking somewhere together and receiver spontaneously picks up sender to carry them the rest of the way. 

25)  sender has been working too hard,  receiver carries them away to force them to rest. 

26)  receiver has been working too hard,  sender carries them away to force them to rest. 

27)  sender is trying to do something rash so receiver simply picks them up to make them stop and listen. 

28)  receiver is trying to do something rash so sender simply picks them up to make them stop and listen. 

29)  in a moment of pure joy,  sender picks up receiver and spins them around. 

30)  in a moment of pure joy,  receiver picks up sender and spins them around. 

[onlyaphcse]

prompts for emotionally stunted idiots

because my friends muses need therapy. will they get it? absolutely not. 

AVOIDING THE TERRIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN:  

“  yeah i’m pissed off but i’d rather not talk about it.  that’s why you’re the one i came to.  ”

“  i’m not looking for a friend.  i’m looking for someone just as angry as i am.  ”

“  i’m not good at caring about people’s shit on purpose.  ”

“  i’m not gonna ask if ‘you’re okay’ cause that’s fuckin’ annoying.  you wanna get the hell out of here and do something?  ”  

 “  i don’t wanna talk about it. you got a beer?  ”  

“  upset?  why would i be upset?  ”

“  so you wanna go find something to break?  ”  

“  hey you want me to kill that guy for you?  ”

“  i just need to get this shit done.  and i trust you to help me do that.  ”  

“  you’re hot.  and i’m bored.  ”  

“  can we just have some meaningless sex we can both pretend didn’t happen tomorrow morning?  ”

“  i can think of at least a dozen people that need killing.  or a light beating.  will that cheer you up?  ”

“  i’ve a got job and i think you’d be the perfect fit.  so you in?  ”

“  yeah i don’t do the whole crying thing.  give me something to stab and i’ll be good in a day or two.  ”

“  i banged it out and now i feel great.  next question.  ”

“  if i think about it,  i get angry.  and i don’t know where that anger stops.  so i’d rather not start at all.  ”

VARIOUS SENTENCES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO DEPTH U COWARDS: 

“  if you’re gonna stay here you can’t be sober so either take the fruity beer or the shitty wine or let me be vibe in peace.  ”

“  how much insect essence do you think are in every square inch of chocolate? like just how many cockroach guts have i consumed with my hershey’s? ” 

“  you should’ve seen the look on their face.  it’s been so long since i’ve made someone that fuckin’ angry it was great.  ” 

“  i have this neighbor who keeps playing driver’s license at 10 a.m. every morning and i’m starting to question if it’s a sixteen year old getting over a breakup or a 36 year old trying to reclaim their childhood. at this point the mystery is the only thing keeping me going.  ”

“  do i trust you?  absolutely not.  next question.  ”

“  if i don’t get a nap in the next hour i’ll probably murder someone.  ”

“  you’re getting that look in your eyes like you’re about to ask me what’s wrong so i’m gonna save us both the awkwardness of finding an excuse to leave and just go now.  ”

“  i’m here to raid your fridge cause my date went really bad and all i’ve had is lukewarm water and breadsticks.  ”

“  i’m making a fake tinder profile to see how gullible guys are, wanna help?  ”   

“  hey i got something for you look!  ”   *holds up middle finger* 

U MIGHT GET PUNCHED: 

“  why are you really here?  ”

“  i’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on.  ”

“  you can’t solve every problem with your fists.  ”  

“  i’m not here to talk about me.  what the hell is going on with you?  ”

“  you think i don’t notice but i do.  i can tell something’s wrong.  ”   

“  i can see beneath your smile.  ”

“  why won’t you just tell me the truth?  ”

“  what are you hiding? and don’t you dare try to lie to me. ”

“  what the hell did you do?  ”

“  so are we gonna talk about it or are we gonna pretend nothing’s wrong here?  ”

[onlyaphcse]