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[onihanas]

“Like an April lily, you have grown in death, in a tragic snowy springtime.”

— Juan Ramón Jiménez, from The Selected Writings; “The Dead Girl,”

[onihanas]

a feral heart needs a feral kind of understanding

[onihanas]

//  ❁  ; @florablade  has  come  home  !

         VACANT THE SHOP WAS FOUND / LEFT ABANDONED IN THE PASSING MONTHS ! still something familiar remains in the browning petals, their saccharine perfume permeating the air as they decay away. she goes through the motions of restoring the shop. doing away with sun-dried leaves tending dutifully to each blossom though she was but a stranger to coaxing life from her fingertips. (  a hopeless girl endeavoring to do the work of another / the meticulous process bringing her closer to memory )

         a bell chimes. the yokai turns, broom still in hand and lips parted to speak. ❛ i’m sorry, we’re clos- ❜ rose-colored kimono, a matching set of ears       she is peering into an image of the past. wooden handle clatters to the floor as shock grips her limbs. DISBELIEF, WHY HAVE YOU APPEARED NOW ? I NEVER WANTED THIS FOR YOU. but the ache of loneliness is stronger than whatever misplaced guilt rises within her chest. 

        ❛ susukihotaru... ❜ the halfling is crossing the length of the room unsure if she had simply conjured the image of her friend or if the girl was in fact real, tangible. breathless is the echo of her name ( some prayer, some hope in this land of false gods ) already once before she had been lured into vulnerability by a mirage of a loved one. that night when this strange world had been plunged into chaos. she could not handle another wound to the heart; not like this. 

        before they even meet the tears begin to fall, the divine fox like a trembling flower swaying in the midst of a summer storm. chin comes to rest upon the younger youjin’s shoulder, taking in the feel of the fabric brushing against her skin and the warmth emanating from beneath it. ❛ you’re here       please, tell me you’re really here. ❜ arms wrap around her small frame both girls chest to chest with a dampness of falling droplet between them. zakuro grips her like a lifeline unable to to withdraw even as she struggles to control her breath long enough to piece together her next utterance. ❛ i-i thought i’d never see you again.❜

[onihanas]

         !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

without prior reserve here's susukihotaru from otome youkai zakuro. her app can be found at /app

Welcome!

You’ll be staying in CONDO 464!

With mun permission, you will be able to sense the emotions of a person or small object up to 5x per day. This will not allow you to see their memories, however.

You’ll be given a stick.

Enjoy your stay!

~ mod bellatrix

[onihanas]

❁ / ; IFREANNS .

❛ … ‘m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you or anythin’. ❜ 

He doesn’t make any attempt to move his hands, though he squeezes her fingers gently in response. The feeling of her thumbs smoothing over his knuckles, soft in contrast to his rough and scarred hands, was undeniably pleasant. He had never experienced maternal affection, nor any real affection at all since the loss of his father, so it was extremely comforting. ❛ That’s not fair. I do worry about you too, y’know ? Even if you’re older and smarter than me, I still worry. Especially with this place bein’ the way that it is. People disappear all the time, weird shit pops up every second day and so on. I think worryin’ about someone you care for is pretty normal, all things considered. ❜  

Still, he had been one of those who had disappeared and the half-demon had surely left behind a very worried Zakuro. Alas, Rin could not give her any real answer as to what had happened. It was a fog in his mind, unclear no matter how hard he thought back. ❛ I don’t remember much. The last thing I remember from before I came here is my brother… well, our fight. ❜ He hadn’t fully explained that situation to Zakuro despite how close the two had become, and he visibly tenses at the thought of it. No point in worrying about it now though. ❛ But nothin’ after that, only what happened in this city. So you don’t need to worry too much. I’m good, I promise. ❜ 

        TOO OFTEN YOU HOLD A KNIFE / YOU BEG FOR VIOLENCE ! ‘just this once let me be gentle’, a silent plea. she wishes to be the flower and not the demon ( yet cursed she is to be both, something blood-soaked / something fragrant ) hand in hand she feels the softness of petals. blossoms taking root in the garden that was their twined fingers. scorned beings they are but between them there is an unparalleled compassion. ❛ i know, i know. ❜ the jest alleviates the ache, but it still remains under the surface of a smile. compassion has left her with a tender heart an unbecoming quality for a beast. NO, SHE WAS NOT AN INTELLIGENT CREATURE AT ALL. FOR THOSE MOST CLEVER DAMNED THEIR HEARTS. she slips out of his hold with the light touch of a passing breeze. ❛ thank you… ❜       she then returns arms outstretched pulling him into an embrace sudden, but sorely needed. ❛ for caring enough to worry. ❜

        the halfling is muttering into his shoulder not yet ready to retreat as she can feel the corners of her eyes beginning to sting        beckoning forth salt water tears she refused to shed. ❛ i was gone for a while too. ❜ swallowing her sorrow as she speaks a register lower than usual. whisper masking her hoarse voice        throat constricted by a sob kept at bay. ❛ but i still remember everything that happened here. you, the flower shop, everyone. ❜ vivid yet transient her memories of this strange world occupied a dream-like space in her mind. ❛ i thought i’d imagined it all but we’re here, you’re here. ❜ her recant follows pulling away from the nephilim though she lingers in his vicinity. ❛ i’m sorry for acting like this; i guess i really am selfish, right ? for not wanting you to go just so i wouldn’t be alone again. ❜ somehow she fixes her smile wider head tilted to the side though her chest throbs with an outpouring of guilt. 

[onihanas]

❁ / ; SOLISBREATH

     a wave of relief washes over the young swordsman at the prospect of aid, red hues shining as the soul before him extended a hand of kindness— he knew there had to be more good demons like nezuko ! by now mean the other had an obligation with helping tanjiro, and yet, she spared the time and care to do so anyway. and for that, his gratitude knows no limit, nor he knows how to properly it into words, but… with time, perhaps he’ll be able to repay the favor. for now, all he can muster is a genuine smile.

     ‘ it’s alright! this place is so big, i’d be lucky if you knew right off the bat. but— wah, wait! are you sure? you don’t have to…!!’  his voice conveys nothing more than pure  excitement. besides, looking for certain individuals is such a vast territory as this own is like looking for a needle in a haystack, so he isn’t so disappointed as one would’ve predicted, if tanjiro is kn  ‘ it’s nice to meet you too, zakuro-san! you can call me just tanjiro, it’s fine.  thank you for your help! together i’m sure we will find them in no time. ’  he bows back, dipping lower than necessary to ensure his gratefulness is known.  ‘ where should we start? ’

         SOMEONE AKIN TO SUNSHINE ! demons being predators that typically lived by the moon, his presence was a stark contrast       though she and quite a few others were an exception to this nocturnal constraint. the divine fox found the boy’s aura to be a healing presence ( blazing like fire but it did not burn one’s skin; it warmed it with kindness ) the halfing dared to believe he could chase away the oncoming winter if he so willed it, yet he did not seem the kind to display power for the sake of spectacle alone. she had her suspicions about what this boy’s purpose may be… someone laced with spiritual power though he bares no vicious air. he brimmed with all the promise of a noble warrior, hopeful optimism and endeavor; this is what she chose to trust in.

         ❛ it’s no trouble, really. i have the time and it also gives you a chance to become more familiar with your surroundings without getting lost. ❜ a guide is someone the yokai wished she had upon her own arrival. the thought of leaving the boy to his own devices, despite only being an acquaintance, did not sit well with the older girl. she was ( beyond a doubt ) a caretaker by nature even if she would fervently deny the claim. ❛ tanjiro-san, you wouldn’t happen to be from japan originally would you ? ❜ his manner of dress was most similar to the swordsman of her home country but the patterns were not strictly identical        his name also a remnant of her native tongue ( tanjiro: the valued second-son ) ❛ i might be assuming too much but we’re in the cotes ward right now. it’s the most similar district to where i come from and maybe it’s the same for you too. ❜ hope creeps into her voice, light and full of breath. an unnamed weight lifting from her chest       the loneliness that never leaves feeling more bearable for a passing instant. ❛ i think it would be a good place to look for your friends and sister if i’m guessing right. they would go somewhere that feels familiar to them, wouldn’t they ? ❜

[onihanas]

since it’s been nearly half a year since i last posted one here’s a… PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP CALL ! essentially by liking this you’re giving me the go ahead to jump into your DMs at some point to plot out a dynamic between our muses whether it’s listed below or something else entirely.

FRIENDS: zakuro is a very compassionate girl once you get past her sharp exterior. She is a warrior by nature and because of this she can come off as a bit harsh at times. this is a fairly easy status to reach with zakuro if your muse is a half-demon or yokai. given her time at isola zakuro isn’t exactly keen on humans now but she isn’t as judgmental which makes her easier to approach regardless of who your muse is. as someone who was raised by demons and spirits she obviously is more inclined to befriend similar kinds of people.

ALLIES / DEMON HUNTERS: someone who fights for the safety of humans and really anyone who is frequently mistreated by the common populace. zakuro finds strength in using her abilities to help others. she grew up alone for the most part and because of this she has an innate need to nurture others as she did not receive such care growing up. she is a very useful ally to have given her skill set. while her some of magic uncapped she is able to aid others with a song which transfers her strength to an ally ( or allies ) of her choosing.

FOUND FAMILY: cannot stress how important this concept is both in canon and here in isola when it comes to zakuro. she was raised by a fox demon who acted as her mother-figure in canon and lived under the same roof as 3 other half-demons who she viewed as her sisters. as i stated before, zakuro is someone who easily steps into a nurturing role especially when it comes to those younger than her (even if she is only 18). she recently came into possession of her own house in the cotes ward too so there’s zero doubt in my mind that she’s going to start talking home strays(random civilians) and sheltering others when she can. that being said she also could use older sibling/guardian figures herself so really anything goes! 

SPARRING PARTNERS: as stated above zakuro is a swordsman. she typically fights with a long-bladed dagger as well as the divine magic passed down to her from her mother. although a dagger is her weapon of choice she is a skilled at using many different kinds of swords but she tends to gravitate more towards japanese blades such as katanas or tantous. so if your muse is in need of blade-wielding sparring partner look no further. she is already back in possession of her tantou in isola so please hit her up if you’re interested in practicing with her.

ENEMIES: malevolent spirits, demons who cause harm to others, and just generally those with violent intent fall under zakuro’s criteria for an enemy. zakuro does like to give those who have done wrong in the past the benefit of the doubt but when they show no signs of remorse is when they become a true adversary for her. she is pretty merciless in battle and if putting someone down serves the greater good she will act as judge, jury, and executioner.

[onihanas]

❁ / ;  TENDERMAW .

“ mm. agreed. ”

surely they had been thinking of two different meanings to the same word. oh, well. to each their own.

“ it’s a shame really. the world around us can be so beautiful, and yet… we don’t bother to spare even a passing glance. always rushing… always so busy… to take a step back and enjoy the life that’s been gifted to us is but a rarity. we shouldn’t have to deprive ourselves of such simple pleasures. not when they’re right in front of us for the taking. ” 

a pause. 

oh. derailed again, huh?

“ … sorry. i-i didn’t mean to keep you here. ”

        HE DOES NOT QUESTION HER FURTHER ! and there is a small comfort taken in that fact. too often she had to explain herself to others; moments of quiet acceptance were difficult to come by.

        ❛ no, it’s fine        really. i liked listening to you talk. nature is taken for granted too often. it’s nice to meet someone who seems to appreciate it like i do. even if i’m guilty of getting caught up in my personal problems too. ❜  a chuckle brushing past sharpened canines, lips parted to reveal their ivory point.

       ❛ the moon always has a way of making everything seem small... but in a comforting way. ❜ home. here. distance meant nothing when one was caught in the pale shower of lunar luminescence.

[onihanas]

         ❛ you do realize that there have been demons in this world for a while, right ? they didn’t suddenly appear out of nowhere. ❜

[onihanas]

I will be iridescent, blossoming.

Louise Labé, from A Book of Women Poets, From Antiquity to Now; “To Honour the Return of a Sparkling Sun,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[onihanas]

❁ / ; HALLOWBONED .

( @onihanas )

Never has Allen traversed the deeper parts of Cotes without reason. A boy of the city that he is, used to cobblestone streets and winding alleys and bustling of foot traffic. There is a quietude that belongs to things purely of nature that has yet to settle right with him—leaves him too alone with his thoughts, his feelings, a confrontation in the near easiest sense. He tries not to think of it now as he searches, partially lost, partially looking for someone familiar. His eye itches though cursed sealed tight behind whatever locks the city has on its power, normally annoying as it is, it proves useful now. He follows until it reaches a burning peak in hopes that the trail is right, at the very least he hopes it is no stranger—it will settle in time, as it did in the past.

Relief settles finely on his shoulders, however, when he spots a familiar figure amongst the trees. “ There you are. ” He breathes and acts as if months have not technically passed since their last meeting. “ I was worried I wouldn’t find you out here. Forests are confusing. I don’t know how you manage not to get lost all the time. ”

        A WANDERESS BY NATURE ! such are pitiful creatures without a home. they seek comfort in the unknown / kindness found in the shadow of the wood. in the depths of nature there is a serenity that stills the heart; expelling its worries. A MOMENTARY PEACE; she will relish in the tranquility even if it is finite and fickle. by the pond she dithers, keen gaze observing the koi just beneath surface their golden scales pale in the morning light. fingertips dance atop the water sending ripples outward across the reflective pool       her image wavering out of view replaced by a kaleidoscope of refracted colors. 

         fox ears perk up; rustling leaves, pebbles underfoot       all signs of an impending visitor. alarm remains absent across the halfling’s features noting the subdued nature of each approaching step ( an attack would be far more swift / tactile ) a particular weight to the stride of the stranger in question, he who is no stranger in the slightest. rising from her crouch she regards him for the first time in months       yet it was if time had ceased to run its course between them. the days gone past were indiscernible in the youthful lines of his face. ❛ you found me. ❜ there is an almost playful cadence to her tone, the gloom of abandonment unable to descend upon her voice; she wills the notion away.  ❛ it isn’t so hard to navigate once you find something familiar to remember and help guide your way. ❜ here approach is a languid flutter, a butterfly in her final days in the wake of late summer. ❛ i didn’t think you were here anymore...❜ 

[onihanas]

I’m still wild, as far as they’re concerned a woman is wild if she has a mind of her own.

Christa Wolf, tr. by John Cullen, from “Medea,” originally published c. 1996 (via violentwavesofemotion)

[onihanas]

‘ don’t allow the world to take your kindness ’ ( or your heelies )

POETRY STARTERS: the princess saves herself in this one  //  ( not accepting  !  )

         SORE FEET AND THE SETTING SUN ON THE HORIZON ! discarded shoes littered about the grass in their momentary repose. the slayer with her wordless smile upon her lips though they spoke in hushed tones. SEVERITY DISGUISED AS LEVITY        ( always a lingering melancholy when they spoke ) this is how it felt to be on the same side of a losing battle. all blood and endeavor only to be met with more unkindness.

         ❛ you and i… we’re both angry aren’t we kocho-san ? ❜ the half-demon doused herself in rage, the act of baring teeth at whatever hand dared to get too close. this was only matched by the quiet fury of the other butterfly: beautiful even as her wings opened to reveal poison. ❛ or       i used to be. angry at the world. at humans. at demons ; but especially myself. ❜ absently a hand rubs at her blistered soles, gaze skyward. distant she seems yet she remains at an arm’s length, their fingertips nearly brushing one another’s across the soft earth.

         ❛ the world may wish me dead, it may deny my efforts to protect it but i won’t let it take my heart. ❜ violet eyes return to a matching pair. a laugh upon her lips, it rings out but a note shy of a sob. under the shroud of amusement does she bury the notion of sorrow. I AM TIRED OF MOURNING FOR A LIFE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE. a sigh leaves her as she sits forward adjusting the ribbons lining her kimono sleeve. ❛ it’s pathetic, isn’t it ? wanting to stay gentle in a cruel world. i still want to try though… ❜

[onihanas]

1-800-how’s my portrayal?

This mun is now accepting feedback! 

Please remember there’s a difference between hate, constructive criticism, and giving praise because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

[onihanas]

from the work of  amanda lovelace  ,  the mermaid’s voice returns in this one   (  consider supporting the author  ) .  pronouns  (  he , she , they , i , etc  )  &  tenses can be adjusted as needed

“ i’m dropping my sword ” “ i’m not sure which of us i’m trying to convince ” “ there was no one i could have told ” “ there was nothing i could have done ” “ do you ever find yourself nostalgic for the life you never got to have ? ” “ do you ever find yourself nostalgic for the person you never got to be ? ” “ i never meant to be here for so long ” “ when will it be my turn ? ” “ who was i before you ? ” “ you can’t fix someone else ” “ you were the first one i believed ” “ i don’t mean to frighten you ” “ i would seriously consider drinking the atlantic whole if only you asked me to ” “ what wouldn’t i do for you ? ” “ i wish you had been my first love ” “ you were always my favorite wreck ” “ why wasn’t i smart enough to stay away from you ? ” “ this isn’t that kind of fairy tale ” “ cages are still cages even when they’re designed to look just like castles ” “ staying with you is nothing more than muscle memory ” “ how can you just walk away ? ” “ sometimes we have to feed ourselves lies just to live ” “ i still have every part of myself ” “ you don’t get to say it’s my fault for staying ” “ i’m but a work in progress ” “ i’m still alive and therefore so is hope ” “ i’m my own sunrise ” “ be stronger than the villains ” “ your voice could sink spaceships ” “ you need to try anyway ” “ you have been known to pry the scabs open  ,  bleed them out ” “ i woke up the next morning and i did not feel brave ” “ we talk about survival like it’s a thing that makes you stronger ” “ i was a bird before this ” “ i remember everything ” “ my healing is ugly ” “ there always exists more than one opportunity for you to grow ” “ i meant to break open to make room for stars ” “ it’s time you give yourself a fair chance ” “ it was never as pretty as you like to pretend it was ” “ i’m used to it by now ” “ don’t ever take anyone’s bullshit ” “ you did not disappear unnoticed ” “ your scraped knees will always mend ” “ just keep singing yourself to sleep ” “ eventually your monsters will stop haunting  you ” “ you are not sad forever ” “ maybe the difference between remembering and hurting is just me ” “ does your pain have a voice ? ” “ you are worth spoiling ” “ when i was a child  ,  i used to believe anyone ” “ you did all you could do ” “ now you must learn what it means for you to live ” “ i’ve never been a river nor a lake for you to peer into ” “ my story has never been your story ” “ rip this page out and keep it with you ” “ be victorious in everything you do ” “ disturb the gods  ,  if that’s what it takes ”

[onihanas]

credit .

‘ did it really happen if i can’t remember it ? ’ ‘ but you kept trying , didn’t you ? ’ ‘ how can someone be too young to be in love ? ’ ‘ i will never forgive you ’ ‘ you have been the star of each and every one of my nightmares ’ ‘ i’m sorry if i wasn’t the child you had in mind ’ ‘ i only ever wanted to make you proud ’ ‘ silence has always been my loudest scream ’ ‘ i used to think i was broken ’ ‘ i’ve always felt like a stranger in my skin ’ ‘ i still wonder who i would have been ’ ‘ i didn’t realize i could be my own knight ’ ‘ i’m not scared of the monsters hidden underneath my bed ’ ‘ some names will always be cursed ’ ‘ i have so much love to give , but no one ever wants it ’ ‘ in all my dreams i could find myself picking my teeth out of the carpet ’ ‘ i’m sick to death of everyone telling me how strong i am ’ ‘ death is one of the senses ’ ‘ children are not meant to die before their parents ’ ‘ fate is a fucking lie ’ ‘ everyone i love leaves ’ ‘ i’m terrified down to my very roots that there are parts of myself that can never be filled ’ ‘ fuck the idea that there is such a thing as destiny ’ ‘ the pain did not make me a better person ’ ‘ i burned the bridges to all the things i could not repair ’ ‘ i would thank you , but we both know you don’t deserve it ’ ‘ i bet you regret making an enemy out of me ’ ‘ you can hate me forever if that’s what you really want ’ ‘ hurting others is a choice ’ ‘ you can have my forgiveness but you can’t have me ’ ‘ please believe me when i say revenge was never my intention ’ ‘ i am strong enough for anything ’ ‘ i am so glad we were born during the same lifetime ’ ‘ i may not believe in fate , but i believe in you ’ ‘ i am allowed to live my life ’ ‘ do not waste a minute mourning me ’ ‘ maybe you should start treating people better for a change ’ ‘ it is a fucking tragedy when the world does not stop for you when you give it every last drop of your blood ’ ‘ your failures are just what happened — they don’t have to be who you are ’ ‘ you have to keep moving forward ’ ‘ don’t allow the world to take your kindness ’ ‘ you owe no one your forgiveness ’ ‘ love is never a weakness ’