onesecondbeforesunset

[onesecondbeforesunset]

this year, for the first time i was gifted with handwritten letters, and let me tell you, it was the most beautiful thing i could've ever asked for. for someone, to take some time out from their busy schedule to write about me, when they could've done anything. its like saying, "yes i love you and you matter to me. you're someone who holds importance in my life."

i had always read about how handwritten letters are like love, but in written, physical form. i had always dreamt of how that love would feel like. wondered, if it was really as devastatingly beautiful as other people described it.

and then, i had the chance to experience it for myself, to feel that love that love pour from a piece of paper. and when i tell you,i was overwhelmed. overwhelmed in every way, there was love, grief, regret, elation, and guilt. i hated myself for how i couldn't return their feelings in the same way, but at the same time, felt so much love oozing out for them at the thought that they loved me regardless. the grief i had for the love i had preserved, and the elation from knowing that even then, i could be loved. he didn't even know how much i needed the reassurance at that moment. how much i needed to know if i could ever be someone whom people think of as a good person. how much i needed to know if could ever be good enough for anyone.

so when i tell you guys, express your live to your people as much as you can. you might not know when they need it. maybe expressing your love for them may be a simple task for you, but for them, it may mean the world, even if not in the same context (romantic and/or platonic)

[onesecondbeforesunset]

to,

you,

In my life the place called love, wife, muse, girlfriend i have placed you permanently. I can't even think of someone in any way. Even if you stay or not. I can't even imagine a face or a name other than yours because i know we both are not perfect and have different ambitions in many ways & i won't be getting everything i imagined from you in my way but all i know is that whatever happens, wherever life takes it'll be you and me. no third person. no other girl in this whole world has that guts or personality to replace your name. That's how i love you. it's you, that's it. my tongue will tremble if i have to say "i wanna marry you" or if i put someone else's image in my future family or if i see myself kissing someone else after winning a trophy, i just can't. that's how i loved you since epoch. I left no possibility of letting someone even sit on the bench of my thoughts. i haven't even left a possibility factor that i have to join my name with someone else.

apollo

[onesecondbeforesunset]

Offer to let other people go ahead of you in line, especially if you're approaching the line at the same time. This is double applicable if you're in a store and the other person has fewer items than you.

This is a small gesture of kindness that in most cases will cost you very little time or effort. It shows consideration for other people's time. Especially in the case of being in a store and letting someone with fewer items than you go first, there is no sense in making someone else wait for you who would otherwise be able to get in and out much quicker.

[onesecondbeforesunset]

yes communication is important, but being in a situation where you constantly have to over-communicate every single thing in order to get listened and tended to is draining and kills romance. a huge part of intimacy and connection is feeling seen and understood by the other person – them being attuned to your needs, feelings, desires, and knowing who you are as a person on a deeper level, is a sign of love. being with someone who is thoughtless and inconsiderate and constantly has to have everything spelled out to them, will leave you feeling invisible and unloved. yes people aren’t mind readers and its good to talk about stuff but someone who just doesn’t think of you or understand basic things that would make you happy, isn’t a good partner.

[onesecondbeforesunset]

burn out

[onesecondbeforesunset]

I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

[onesecondbeforesunset]

impusively kissing! kissing when laughing! kissing cheeks to say thanks! kissing noses! kissing foreheads! kissing hands! kissing wrists! kissing temples! kissing fingertips! lazy kissing! goodbye kisses! see you later kisses! wait for me kisses! be right back kisses! that is so stupid but i love you kissing!

[onesecondbeforesunset]

nothing is more intimate than someone truly understanding your mind and yearning to learn the complexities of you

[onesecondbeforesunset]

[onesecondbeforesunset]

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

[onesecondbeforesunset]

Casts spell called “please be alright. I love you.”

[onesecondbeforesunset]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[onesecondbeforesunset]

Caddo Lake, Texas by Fred R Cox

[onesecondbeforesunset]

Sumba Island, Indonesia by Anastasia Saul

[onesecondbeforesunset]

i had a girl who used to call me peach, the word slipped from her mouth like the syrupy sweet frozen fruit my mum would give me as if to say please eat something. please. we have enough this time. the fuzzy outsides always made my skin hurt but it was worth it for the sweet fruit i scarfed back like my stomach had never been full before.

my grandmother used to make plum muffins with the sourest fruits she could find. they baked into something sweet, something soft. something that fed me. my mom made plum muffins today with the sour plums from the grocery store and i was brought to tears while i ate two of them fresh out the oven. they were better than granny's. she's not dead. she's not dead but i don't know if she'd want me if she found out what i really am. i ate another muffin and it tasted like dusty summers away from home my house.

i ate three nectarines today without even stopping to breathe. the juice dripped down my chin as i swallowed them down without chewing like i hadn't eaten in years. when i was a kid my grandparents would come with a box of cup noodles and kraft dinner and tinned peaches and i thought it was a gift because those were all of my favourites. i thought christmas hampers were like winning a contest and food bank trips were like grocery shopping where my mom never panicked. i ate those nectarines until i felt sated and i almost cried. they were sweet and sour and i nearly chipped my tooth on the stone on the inside.

i used to try plant cherry seeds and mango pits in my garden so we would never run out. so my mom would never give me half her plate again without filling up her own. so there'd be something for her to fill it up with. i didn't know how to grow stone fruit but i grew like one anyway- i grew with with a soft, sweet, nonthreatening exterior but something inside of me that will chip your teeth if you bite in the wrong spot. nobody planted my heart in their garden and watered it daily. my sugary exterior was consumed almost manically, in plum muffins and not-yet-ripe nectarines, in fear of having it taken away if it didn't go now now now. i grew like stone fruit, but nobody replanted me with hope in their heart. i held it in my own, deep within the tooth-chipping pit that i slipped between damp paper towels, waiting for it to sprout.

[onesecondbeforesunset]

“food as a love language” prompts ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱

-ˏˋ. dialogue ˊˎ-

⋆ “i know you said you weren’t hungry, but i made you something anyways.”

⋆ “you seemed a little off on the phone, so i wanted to make sure you had something nice to come home to.”

⋆ “i heard you reminiscing about it the other day, so i called your mom and got the recipe.”

⋆ “hey, hey- i know you always say you don’t have time to eat breakfast before you leave, so i got up early to make you something you could eat on the go.”

⋆ "you know i don't mind that you can't help me while i'm cooking. wanna help me plate it up now?"

⋆ “of course i remembered what you like, why do you think i always have it made fresh when you come over? i’m not actually a psychic.”

⋆ "well you said you were craving [insert food] and it's too late to run to the store to grab it so yeah, i made it for you."

⋆ “come on, i can see you’re starving. just let me make you something, you know i don’t mind.”

-ˏˋ. actions / scenarios ˊˎ-

⋆ practising cooking a dish from their friend/partner's childhood in secret before serving it to them for the first time

⋆ gently reminding them to eat

⋆ always having the ingredients for their comfort meal on hand in case they have a bad day

⋆ navigating around their sensory issues with food while cooking for them without being asked

⋆ dropping off food for them during a stressful day

⋆ being patient as they teach the other how to cook

⋆ learning how to prepare food from their home country for them

⋆ wordlessly setting a meal down in front of them after they come home at the end of a long day

[onesecondbeforesunset]

Because I don’t care where I am, as long as you’re somewhere brighter.

— p.d, know that i love you – the greatest parts of me always will