one-of-these-nights - Tumblr blog

[one-of-these-nights]

i should really make no exception. happiness never lasts.

[one-of-these-nights]

[one-of-these-nights]

deep down, i really want to cry.

[one-of-these-nights]

are you living your life correctly? i keep questioning this to myself.

[one-of-these-nights]

mom.. living is tiring. i wanna cry out loud and hug you so tight but i knoe you're struggling as well. i cant let you see how fragile i am currently.. that's why i'm pouring everything here.

mom how do you do that? how on earth you manage to go through this all? i'm just 23 and all i think about is how to disappear and runaway from all this pain.

mom, to be brutally honest, if it weren't for you i'd probably jump into random truck or disguise myself to have a single accident and crash the car randomly. but the thought of you sad and crying because of me makes me continue to live. at least, not making you cry is the only thing i can do. i cant let you shed tears for all of your children. at least i need to be useful, even though i'm feeling it is useless and hard to live.

mom i'm feeling sick. i wanna sleep beside you and snuggling to your hug and just pour everything. i wanna shout i wanna die. i need you to comfort me. but i cant.

my head hurts and my nose are runny, cant breath as well.

mom, why when i thought everything's going to be better.. i was like slapped by reality to go back from my root?

why am i living like this mom??

[one-of-these-nights]

"It's okay, things go sideways sometimes. You're doing well and I'm very proud of you for that."

and i wonder if it's too much to hear

[one-of-these-nights]

"She has it easy," they said.

Sometimes I'm grateful they don't even know who I am for being able to say such things.

I love it when people don't know anything about me. For everything they said, knowing they don't know anything, I can't even hate them.

[one-of-these-nights]

loving someone should not felt like this

[one-of-these-nights]

If this is a dream, don’t you wake me up. I love the way you look at the camera, oh god you’re dangerous. Baby I think I might be in love with you. If you don’t know me, I’ll tell you. I’m the rising star of 2017. I’m the trendsetter among rappers +

[one-of-these-nights]

Lucu ketika kamu datang membawa sekotak kebahagiaan saat itu, dan dengan lugunya aku menerimanya dengan segenap hati tanpa berpikir panjang bahwa kotak kebahagiaan yang kau berikan ternyata adalah sebuah kotak pandora.

Lucu ketika waktu singkat yang kita lalui bersama, ternyata memberikan dampak yang sangat besar untuk hari-hariku, bahkan setelah engkau pergi.

Lucu ketika wajah penuh penyesalanmu hari itu membuatku marah namun tetap bisa membuatku bersedih, aku tidak pernah melihat raut wajah seperti itu selama tiga tahun aku mengenalmu. Aku khawatir. Lucunya, aku tetap benci.

[one-of-these-nights]

He was never mine to keep.

[one-of-these-nights]

Only the Mighty up there, and universe who know what’s really up around us. I may have opinion, but none of us can really judge.

But still..

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Maybe some people just can’t be together, no matter how hard they tried

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“Tunggu ya, mungkin nanti.”

I waited patiently--hopelessly--for that day, but it never came true.

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And I’m sorry if I’m not strong enough to help you carry the heavy weight of your world. I’ve been carrying mine long before I met you, and now the weight adds up as we met.

I hope other person will be strong enough to help you.

I’m sorry it’s not me.

[one-of-these-nights]

glow like dat - rich chigga

[one-of-these-nights]

…and that was too much for one person to handle.