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[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Eight: Flying By Faith

You know how they say April showers bring May flowers? Well April showers brought a whole lot of crazy along with it into May. Which is why you’ll be getting, yes, TWO blogs this month.

I personally grew more than any of those super bloom wild flowers out in SoCal this last month.

I went through some pretty intense experiences and brought a lot of closure to my soul (side note: almost had to take my ex best friend to small claims court for trying to steal from me but, thank God I didn’t. She broke down and I basically won outside of court, and in my heart. Because I got back what was always rightfully mine and got to tell her all the ways of “fuck you” I had been ruminating about for the last 7 months of her vindictiveness, that she put me through... )

But I digress. And so does the weight that was hooked to my heart for these past months.

Change is constantly inevitable. Especially in this industry. Aviation is a mob of its own entity. And when you’re on the inside looking out. It can become really unnerving.

Wow airlines recently went under. Just literally strained all of their employees all over the world. There’s still one of their aircrafts chillen at the Delta hanger in Boston.

It’s a constantly moving molecule that’s fighting against cancer like chemical components....and it’s called competition.

Not to give away who I work for but, we recently announced a very exciting new jump (over the pond) in our journey. It was the worst best kept secret. And to tell you the truth we are all a little skeptical out on the line about our success in it all.

We want to see our company thrive but, we want it done the right way. And we’ve seen a lot go on in the last 3 years or so to suggest that we aren’t really ready for such a big leap.

But...with that takes faith. And changing is faith. Changing takes steps, just like how faith is a constant step in the right direction.

June 1st, I’m putting in for my leave of absence for September and fingers crossed, I hold it off! There are many projects I’d like to focus on with my time off, to give me a sense of stability for in the near future. To get back to me, my happiness, my art....my faith.

And it’s funny because the word faith has a synonym of dependence. Which literally means

Dependence: the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else.

And a synonym means a word or phrase that means exactly or nearly the same as another word or phrase in the same language

And dependence has a synonym for vulnerability and so on....

So how can faith be dependent?

And it got me thinking that faith is not a weakness but, the strongest thing you can have for yourself. I’m not talking about religion, gods or even the universe. I’m talking about within yourself. To be dependent within your own heart.

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something

It’s a vulnerable fall of sorts that can lead you to where you are meant to be. A release. Faith if you look at it and how it’s defined can be this viscous cycle within itself. But once you let it go, and you stop trying to control it, which takes faith, things literally can fall into place. You are the key to your faith and how it and your happiness unfolds. Which really both play hand and hand.

I feel that may be why my ex best friend changed so much was because she kept battling within her faith for herself. And she just kept falling outside of herself and not within. If that makes any sense. She didn’t have her own back and turned to other ways and things to try finding what was always already there in her heart. And it makes me sad for her.

I know I’m getting off topic about aviation and maybe NONE of this makes sense to anyone or maybe it does to one person........but, I’m going to let it all go...have faith that no matter what, it all works out eventually. That whether my company succeeds or fails, I was put there as part of it for a reason....with the craziness and all...

Have a happy Jupiter retrograde everyone! And have faith.

Love,

~E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Seven: Nothing But Blue Skies

In the last year or so I’ve been really thinking hard about taking six months to a year off of work. Take some time to reset. Because as flight attendants we see hundreds of people a day and as an empath, it’s starting to take a toll on my soul. The job itself can be very mundane and routine. The people ware on you. The planes need to be saged, or for you hippies who know better “smudged”. But, I will say it’s my crewmembers, my family in the sky, that gets me by and through some of the hardest days.

I recently lost a very good friend of mine who was my inflight classmate and my brother from another mother. He worked for our airline and went on to another. He passed away on a layover in Paris from a brain aneurism at 27 years young, and my world completely changed. A layer of my soul fell to the floor like an onion peel. In this industry, your fellow flight attendants become more than just co-workers. They are your confidants, your diaries made of flesh, big sisters or big brothers, your soundboard and friends. With air travel becoming more and more affordable and besides the time and flexibility that comes with the territory, THEY are the ones that help me stay and keep me coming back to the skies. I’ve shared so many intimate stories on the jumpseat. Of my own and of listening to others. Stories of heartache, infertility, divorce, angst, drama, triumphs, births, marriages, victories and celebrations. We are so much more than a purser and a galley slave. We are ohana with the same or different tail.

I’ve traveled near and far for the friends I’ve made in this industry. To just be there for someone in a time of need, a birth, a death, a party, a sleepover, a weekend or just for lunch. And I’ve been blessed with that in return.

This job has given me the freedom to BE THERE. Anytime, any day.

I know I’ve mentioned before how lonely this job can be. And as I’ve gotten older, it’s become even more so. I have so, so many of my friends who want to be in this industry and while I will ALWAYS recommend it, because of all the good and life saving/ changing it’s done for me, I always caution them of what comes with it.

It’s this invisible umbilical cord that constantly pulls you back into its world. You want to leave but, you want stay. A continuous catch 22. And with that, can come a dark wave filled with a foam of anxiety and regret.

You are constantly pulled in all directions because you feel this need to be there always. Because of the love you have for the ones in your life and because well you can be, in 6 hours or less. And for free. So there’s no excuse.

While I say I’d never change it, for the world, and I wouldn’t, I honestly can’t wait to have time for myself again, here in the near future. To prioritize and find me again. Instead of feeling so deeply changed and influenced because of all the souls that have brushed up against mine.

Devastatingly, in the last 6 months there have been two flight attendants who have worked for my airline, one previously and one presently, who have taken their own lives. Mental health is such a huge and important piece of living a wonderful and full life. For everyone. I’m grateful I have an incredible network/community/tribe around me, who supports my happiness. And I know many feel they do not. Even if in reality, they do. And my heart breaks for those who think they are alone. In this industry or not.

Life is just so precious beyond words. Growing older and wiser is a privilege. All the things that seemed so clique when I was younger, couldn’t be farther from it in my maturity. And even saying that seems clique. To have been younger once, snuffing out what’s pure in truth.

If there is anyone out there who is struggling with this crazy movie we call life, please reach out and talk about it. To anyone you trust or hey! even me. Nothing is too crazy and no feeling or idea is too strange. I mean for God sakes there at one time were dinosaurs roaming the earth! Nothing is weird and finding strength and joy IS obtainable.

Be kind to one another,

-E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Six: Tricks No Treats

So in this month of love, and Valentines Day having just passed, I thought I’d share the amour myself, by gifting all those who are not so well traveled, a deep look into a flight attendants eyes. Tricks of the trade and pet peeves 101.

Number one. When you board an aircraft please do us a favor and not be on the phone yapping away like a little rat dog. It’s rude and obnoxious. No one cares what bid deal you’re about to close on or how fucked up you’re gunna get in New Orleans. And PLEASE make eye contact with us, we are human as well and like to say hello to you and be acknowledged, just the same as anyone else. And I promise you, we won’t glamour you like Bill Compton of True Blood.

Number two. Don’t be needy about your bag....we literally just started our journey together. As a number one flight attendant you have to stay by our door. Really depending on the aircraft, all FA’s need to be by their doors. So go down and see for yourself if there is room for your bag. If YOU can’t see that far from the boarding door, I can’t see that far. And worst case, you go down and there’s no room, then we can check it to, YES THE CAROUSEL, of your final destination.

Number three. So when we ask you to stow your bag completely under the seat in front of you and have your tray table up AND seat back up and locked for departure, it’s gotta happen for the end of the flight as well. The rules apply for BOTH take off and landing. We ask because when we take off and until we hit 10,000 feet AND also upon descent, until we land, it’s what’s called STERILE COCKPIT. Which means, those phases of flight are the most dangerous. And if anything were to happen in those phases, having your bag stowed completely under the seat in front of you, helps for when we have to evacuate. And then your seat partner (who’s stuck at the window) can also survive and escape safely, not having to trip over your shit. It’s not all about you.

Number four. Once inflight we will begin service. And guess what?! There’s a menu card in your seat back pocket, that tells you all that we have to offer on our flights. Ya know? Just like at a restaurant... so really there should be no listing off of anything in my opinion. You should know we have Coke and not Pepsi and you should know the beers. Oh and don’t make me list shit off and then ask for a water...but, let’s be real. I worked in a restaurant and people still asked if we had Pepsi or Coke when it was clearly on the menu. So I guess if you’re that person, you’re just that fucking asshole everywhere. So don’t be that fucking asshole, okay?

Number five. Trash. Or “service items”. I just threw up in my mouth a little writing that out. ITS TRASH. Trash is trash. And so are you 24 Charlie!....lol just kidding....(gives side eye) When we come through to collect all your cans, cups and snack bags, do us a solid...please reach over and hand them to us. Don’t make me bend over to grab it all. I shouldn’t be bending over for anyone, unless I want to be bent over. (Insert Cardi B OKKKKUURRRTTTTT!!!) And don’t do the dinosaur arms, like you have none. If God gave you beautiful arms, extend them. OR you can always kindly ask your seat mate to hand your items over. Don’t stack it up like the mother fucking Cat in the Hat and expect my tiny ass hand to be able to grab it all with a trash bag in my other. And PLEASE I beg of you, don’t try to hand me your gum in your napkin or anything else that’s got your germs on it when I’m serving drinks....would you hand off your trash to the cook in the kitchen, while he’s busy making your meal? No. Oh and don’t ring the call button for me to come grab your trash. You can wait for us to come around again or God forbid the seat belt sign is off you stretch your legs and bring it to the galley yourself....oh and the trash is indicated as well andddd it works just like at McDonalds! You push where it says trash. Don’t try and mess with the pegs holding the cart in place, just PUSH.

Number six. The LAV, the bathroom, the powder room, etc. Heres my first tip on hitting the john from 35,000 feet. READ THE DOOR. There are signs all over it indicating what’s what. AND there are signs in the bathroom showing you what’s what. There could be a door knob to open the door. That should be a universal thing but, apparently it’s not. Or it’ll say push...so you push....or pull...so you pull. Just read and it will show you to the yellow and brown brick road. There’s also a lock. Like on most public bathrooms. This isn’t your home so you gotta lock it and then no one has to see your hoohaa. Also there are COLORS YAYY, that will let you know if it’s occupied or not. So from the outside if it’s green, it means go...also should be a universal thing but, I digress. And usually, the flush button is somewhere by the toilet.

Now we get intimate. But, not as intimate as if I had to smell your lunch of clearly, Chipotle.....if you’re gunna take a dump....here’s a great trick so you don’t blow up the bathroom! There are paper towels to dry your hands, take one and lay it on the bottom of the bowl. Nest yourself a bit ;) and then that way you don’t leave skid marks which is why the stench lingers for so long. And your flight attendant doesn’t have to poor coffee over it to clear it out and you don’t have to do a walk of shame or pretend it wasn’t you. We know it was you. Win win!

Finally number seven....middle seats suck. In my opinion they shouldn’t exist. But they do. And with that, I ask you to be kind to your seat mate sitting in the middle. Proper airplane etiquette is that the person who’s at the window gets the window to lean on and the aisle person has the aisle to lean out into a bit and an easy Houdini escape route. So that means, the person in the middle GETS BOTH OF THE ARM RESTS! Don’t make them squeeze their arms against their sides for an 8 hour flight trying to not touch or budge you.

And now you know. Look for next months bitching sesh where we go over asking for any and all things you want at one time and not making me go back and forth literally 6 times for things you could’ve asked for once! I know it’s my job to serve you but, let’s be considerate.

Be well,

E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Five: Sit down, No Butts

So 2019 huh?....I can’t believe I’ve been flying the big blue, sometimes rainbow sherbet skies, for 7 years now... I just hit that mark on January 3rd. What a whirlwind it’s been!

And as much as I hate to start out the new year with a wicked witch worthy bitching sesh, I figured I’d lay out a funny/annoying story for you all to enjoy. You know? Just get it all off my chest and start fresh....

If I’m being honest, I hate people. I feel like I’ve told you all this before lol

I mean, that’s gotta be, at this day and age, a more common thing, than not. And y’all are probably laughing right about now like, “Girl, you are really in the wrong profession for that!” But, this is more of a “in general” statement. My job though, does not help that case.

So right before I left for my Christmas break (which btw was such an amazing time, love my family! We always rock it, every year!) I went down to Charlotte to see a friend and her baby boy who’s about 9 months now. And I commuted on an offline flight up to New York to see another friend for the rest of the weekend. (offline means another airline i.e. not the one you work for.)

I’m sitting in the exit row for this flight and to sit there, it’s an extra charge. But, as flight attendants we get that perk for free. Thank youuuuu!

(We are all family, just different tails ;) )

So I’m sitting there minding my business, and then two other passengers jump up into the same row. I grit my teeth in annoyance only because I deal with that all the time on my airline.

“Sir, as it turns out, this seat has an extra fee to sit here, if you’d like to upgrade we can take care of that for you.”

“But no ones sitting here?!”

“Yes I do understand that sir but, it is an extra charge to sit here.”

He argues more, than you say things you probably shouldn’t but, are still professional about it lol like I’m sorry sir but, what the actual fuck? So you think you can sit here for free but, those that are sitting there either now or in the past, have to pay? Take a seat. Take several seats. And make it in your actual seat.

But,... (takes a big, deep, yoga worthy breath) I had faith the working crew would handle it with grace, accordingly.

And sure enough the sweet number 2 came up to do the whole spiel I just told you about and the two passengers were actually very understanding and apologetic in this story but, obviously that’s not the good part.

As the two passengers are gathering their things to move back to their original seats, this man, and I shit you not, two whole rows back pipes in and with a booming voice and smug face says to the flight attendant handling the situation, “No that’s not true!”

“Sir, yes that is the rule. And I just verified with the gate agent that these two lovely passengers are not on the manifest as sitting there.”

“No that’s not true, I asked the gate agent if those seats were extra and they are not!”

The flight attendant literally just stares at him as we all follow suit, our heads turned and cocked. And this kid (I say kid but, he was more like 18. So yeah at this age you’re a kid to meeeeee..Dearrr God where did the time go?!) who btw totally looks like Spicolly, says straight to this man in the most monotone, SNL worthy way, “Prettyyyy sureee she works hereeee......”

And we all start laughing our asses off!

It was just so comical, the whole debacle really but, that made it a perfectly timed punchline worthy one. Then to top it off the other flight attendant in the back was walking up when this all happened and says to the man, “Yeah, don’t be such a Grinch.”

Roars of laughter!! This man sunk down so far in his seat as if his shirt was made of concrete and got so red in the face a lobster would blush! And you know what, I could care less about it lol because who literally does that? Like this has nothingggg to do with you, mind your own business!

The laughter finally died down, we took off and as I deplaned, I commended the flight attendant for how well she handled it and wished her a Merry Christmas.

You know this job can be very hard. Both physically and emotionally. Especially around the holidays, being away from both family and friends. But, it’s stories like these that get you through. To laugh at the small things is one of the most cherished lessons I’ve learned with this career. So in this new year, don’t take things too seriously. Laugh when you can. And please for the love of God, don’t play musical chairs on an aircraft...you may turn out to be the butt of someone’s joke...

Be well and be kind,

E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Four: Parent Perfect

The holiday season, no matter what religion, is a time of warmth and kindness. It’s about family and loved ones. It’s a time to reflect on all we are blessed with and where we can all improve, for the better. With Christmas right around the corner, I thought I’d share a very intimate story with you about an elderly couple I had to take care of on a flight, with more finesse and courage than I’ve ever had to before. I always think about them around this time of reflection. And how grateful I am for my family and most importantly, despite any fight or disagreement we’ve ever had..my parents.

One day, about two years ago, I worked a flight with a wonderful co-worker of mine. I truly can’t recall where we were headed but, all I remember was how bad the turbulence was that afternoon. This lovely little couple sat about smack dab in the middle of the aircraft. The woman was one of our wheelchairs and she was actually listed on our manifest as an aisle chair.

(For those who don’t know, an aisle chair is used for those with minimal or no mobility. It is a chair that is built to fit down an aircraft aisle. Every aircraft is also equipped with an aisle chair.)

We took off and right before we were about to set up for service, our sweet elderly lady rang the call button. I immediately went to her aid and she asked for assistance to the bathroom (lav).

My crewmember and I grabbed the aircraft aisle wheelchair and right before coming up with it, we got hit with really, really, really bad turbulence. Some of the worst I’ve ever had. Our Captain (CA) even made an announcement over the PA for the inflight crew to remain seated for the next 10-15 min.

After the full 15 min had passed, you could feel the ride starting to clear up. Our CA finally called to relieve us from our jumpseats but, asked us to use precaution. We made our way to our elderly lady, got her situated into the wheelchair and rolled her back to the lav. Her husband followed suit, because she was going to need help and as flight attendants we can not assist any customer into the lav.

While we both stood in the back galley, the lady got up from the wheelchair with help from her husband and all of a sudden, her knees buckled under and she almost fell completely to the floor. We tried helping to bring her back up but, she was dead weight. She kept saying to us that as of late, she had been losing feeling in her legs randomly.

We finally did manage to get her placed back in the aisle chair and realized this was going to be up to us as flight attendants, to get her to the bathroom. Her husband, with all due respect, was not going to be of much help due to his age and lack of strength. He almost tumbled to the floor himself trying to catch his wife. So my crewmember and I looked at each other and silently agreed to break code and do what was right.

My crewmember had helped her grandmother for years as she aged and so, in turn, had much more experience in this region than I. So she took charge. She knew how to gently lift up the lady without hurting herself and made her way backwards into the bathroom with the customer. At this point in time, our lady had gained feeling back in her legs and was slowly walking backwards, synced with my crewmember. Then sadly went dead weight again.

My crewmember was trying her hardest to hold her up while her husband tried to undo her pants as she cried in desperation. But, as I had him step to the side to do what he couldn’t, our elderly lady unfortunately and sadly defecated herself.

You could see the horror and almost confusion in her face, it made my heart wrench. My crewmember was able to set her down on the toilet and step over her limp legs to escape the bathroom.

We both, and I’m mortified to say, stared in disbelief with what was happening. I finally snapped back into it, grabbing all the wet wipes we had, plus gloves for the man, as my crewmember and I already had ours donned.

With this being such a private and invasive situation, I placed the man in the bathroom with his wife and said if you need any help, just open the door.

I sat there for about eight minutes, hearing small whispers of bickering through the lav door. The lady’s voice rising and falling. It wasn’t just embarrassment, it was anger. Her mood had shifted and was now lashing out at her husband. Out of concern, I knocked on the door and opened it. To my surprise, nothing had been done....the man was just standing there still holding all the supplies I had given to him to assist his wife and she was almost visibly going in and out of cognitive consciousness. Smiling and being sweet to pouncing back with harsh words to her husband AND now me. I was astonished.

It was at this moment, in my opinion and observation, that I realized and believed this elderly couple were both suffering from some form of dementia or alztimers.

I finally asked myself, what would I do if these were my parents?....So I walked the older man out of the bathroom and with my crewmember’s help, we partially undressed the lady, put her clothes in a bag and went through every wet wipe we could find, along with a helpful customer’s whole brand new bag of wet wipes, and cleaned up our little old lady. I even made trash bag undies and booties for her, along with a skirt made from one of our blankets. I must have gone through fifty pairs of gloves...

We were able to get her back into the aisle chair and back into her seat safely. I finally got the opportunity to call the CA to let him know of the situation. Being that this took up our whole flight time, and I thank God our other customers were aware of their environment realizing themselves something serious was going on, we did not perform a service. We had just enough time to clean everything up, lock off the lav and sit for landing.

With being an aisle chair, our elderly couple were the last to deplane. And as they wheeled off the lady, her husband turned around and tried to hand me a $20 bill. And my eyes started to well up. I told him that wasn’t AT ALL necessary, it was the right thing to do and to take care of themselves. We made sure to tell the gate agent of the situation and she documented it in their reservation that they should not be flying alone and need to be accompanied in the future.

I remember calling my Dad that same night to tell him of my day. And as I started to cry, I told him I’d never let him or Mom be left to fend for themselves if they were clearly not capable. I expressed my anger to my Daddy about how upsetting it was. Like where were their kids? Or other family members? Why were they allowed to travel under those circumstances? And alone?

My heart hurt for a good handful of days after....but, I promised myself that day, I’d always make sure my parents were taken care of. No matter the cost or time.

So hug on your parents. Love your loved ones hard. And for those who can’t, I pray they visit you in your dreams and I send you healing thoughts this holiday season....

Be kind to one another and

Merry Christmas <3

Love,

~E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Three: The Boy at the Window

With the movie “A Star Is Born” being such a hit in the box office and in hearts all around the world, and having just personally seen and drooled over Lady Gaga AND Bradley Cooper’s incredible performances and chemistry, I thought I’d share a more bitter than sweet story with you, about a young man I recently encountered on a flight from Boston to New Orleans.

This young man came on with no extravagant entrance. Just quietly made his way to his row, stowed his bag and sat down in his seat. He had the most familiar face. As if I’d had him on a previous flight of mine. He looked to be about my age, 28, with a very handsome face and dressed business casual.

We took off from Boston and like any other normal flight, once we hit 10,000 feet, we began to set up for service. As I made my way down the aisle asking every customer if they’d like a refreshment, my number 2 flight attendant rang a call button near her, to get my attention. She ushered me over. So I excused myself from the customers I was about to serve, and made my way to her.

As I approached the row, I recognized the handsome young man at the window. His doe eyes, all glazed over.

My crew member discretely informed me that this young man was drinking his own liquor he brought on board. It was clear he had already consumed multiple minis and it appeared, to us, that he had more of them in his backpack.

Side note...

A little bit about rules and regulations when it comes to bringing your own alcohol on board.

First...you are more than welcome to. If that’s your quart size, ziplock bag full of liquids for coming through security, then good on you.

Second...IF you choose to bring your own liquor, you must inform your flight attendant of this and hand over your alcohol to be served to you, for safety. Safety for you and for the whole cabin. If you’re back there slingin shots and all of a sudden you’re either sick, seizing or causing a ruckus...it might be a good idea for us to know why.

And third...more of an idea of what pressure can do to a body at 36,000 feet, rather than an actual regulation/fact. But, as flight attendants, we tend to try to look at one drink= two drinks. Alcohol affects everyone differently, especially in the air. So as a precaution, a lot of us handle serving liquor with this mentality.

Side track over...

As my fellow crew member is informing me of this unfortunate situation, I couldn’t help but, to not keep my eyes off this young man. He was extremely intoxicated at this point, was slurring his words and so unaware of what was going on. With help from his seat partner (who, NO was not traveling with him) we tried to ask this young man and sum up, about how many nips he had already drank. We could not get a clear answer.

So, as number 1, I made the conscious decision to take full responsibility of searching his bag for an answer. I shuffled through his unorganized backpack to find 6 empty minis and 8 more full ones. Thats “technically” 12 drinks within a very small time frame. And God only knows if he had been drinking before the flight as well.

With all the compassion I could muster up, I told this young man to look me in the eyes and I explained to him that I would be holding onto his other 8 minis until we landed in New Orleans. My crew member and I gave him water and some pretzels, resumed/finished our service, cleaned up our galleys and called the captain to advise him of the situation.

Then a couple calls buttons went off...

My number 2 and I scurried to the aisle where our young man was sitting and were told by the surrounding customers that he threw his water bottle back and hit the customer behind him....

My crew member and I were mortified, apologized, did our best to ask the young man to behave and again called our captain.

About 20 minutes went by before call buttons were chiming yet again...

Upon approaching the aisle, we could see discomfort in our customers faces from a mile away. Our young man was now escalating to anger/ frustration and was taking it out on the window next to him. Having punched it repeatedly until we arrived at the scene.

Since we were almost on our initial descent, we did not detain him but, instead called our captain for the third time and asked for police to meet the gate with a wheelchair. After speaking with our captain, I made my way back to the row to find that our young man had now urinated himself...

My crew member was now handing paper towels off to the gentleman sitting next to him, and my heart fell to the floor as the young man looked up at me asking what had just happened to him...with only his eyes....

We did our best to accommodate our amazing, sympathetic and helpful customers that were witness to this very heartbreaking event. And as they were deplaning, they all made sure to commend us on how we handled the situation with so much grace.

But my eyes kept going to that young man...that boy, sitting and waiting at the window for everyone to get off the aircraft. That boy who was still so utterly confused. That boy who was so lost and not only in that moment.

Once all customers had exited, the soul battered young man made his way towards the front. The strong and sturdy police officer who met the gate, walked him off so delicately and helped him into the wheelchair. It was like watching Hercules pick a beautiful flower for Megara.

As he was wheeled off, my eyes began to well up. I thought to myself he is someone’s son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend... and he needs help... I thought about how we are the same age and how he has his whole life ahead of him....how deeply hurt he must be, to be turning to alcohol so fiercely. And how alcoholism comes in many different shades and faces.

Reflecting back on this story makes me so incredibly grateful for how many people care for me in my life. And that more importantly, I hope and pray that, that young man finds strength to seek help and obtains peace.

As the saying goes, “Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

So in honor of yesterday being National World Kindness Day....do just that...be kind....every day. And to everyone you meet. It’s so much easier to smile, be friendly, courteous, considerate, and gracious.

Be well,

~E

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter Two: Wooing From 30,000 Ft.

MENstruation...

Dating in today’s world sucks. Dating in today’s world as a flight attendant, REALLY fucking sucks.

For whatever reason men think flight attendants are a bunch of whores...okay I mean we all love to hoe around every once and a while ;) but for the love of God, it’s not the 80’s where we are all doing lines of coke off our FO’s back at 2 am then turning around and sleeping with them! Side note: they figured that shit out real quick. (random drug tests for everyone!)

Netflix and chill for us, LITERALLY means we binge watch the Crown and chill....I mean, I’m not saying I wouldn’t mind you going down on me while I binge watch the Crown but, you get it. We aren’t prudes, that’s for damn sure. But a lot of us want, like everyone else in the world, a little God damn respect.

First and foremost, NO we haven’t joined the Mile High Club and honestly if you saw the shit that went down in those lavs, pun intended, the fantasy would completely escape your mind for forever.

Two. While yes we aren’t home and in bed with you every night, because let’s be honest we wouldn’t even be home and in bed with you every night if we had a 9 to 5, we hold more days off a month than any, no offense, “normal job”. Meaning when we are home it’s a party... in and out of the bedroom. You know that saying, “Distance makes the heart grow founder.” It rings true more than you know. You have your life, I have mine, that’s the beauty of a relationship, that you can come together and enjoy it WHEN together.

Three. People. I personally despise most of the general public. Not that there hasn’t been some lovely and amazing human beings I’ve encountered on my travels but, a good lot of them pretty much suck. Rude, distasteful, self entitled.... it’s just gross. So if we like you and value our time with you, being we are around so many people on a day to day basis, consider yourself lucky, fuck even blessed that we wanna grace you with our presence...lol!

Four. And on that note ^^^ NO we don’t have boyfriends all around the world or in every city of every state...that is wayyyy too much work, okay? We aren’t some walking Jason Derulo song.

Five. IF. And I mean IF you are lucky and loyal enough you win the jackpot of all jackpots... you too can fly for free... or next to nothing. Yes! It’s true! (insert Princess Jasmine singing) “I can show you the world...” of coarse if there are seats available but, even so! Since you travel for free, the only downside, per say, is you travel as what’s called

Stand•by

/stan(d),bī/

* the state of waiting to secure an unreserved place for a journey or performance, allocated on the basis of earliest availability.

So basically if there are seats, we can go to New York City, Paris, Morocco.. you name it. The world is our oyster and if you marry me or jeez even date me, you too can fly for free...or next to nothing... ;)

[onceuponadescent]

Chapter One: Bitching Bitchity Bitch

“Fuck this shit but, I love it.” Are literally, and genuinely, the first words that come to mind when someone asks me how I like being a flight attendant.

Now for those seniors mamas and papas out there in the industry, you’re about to start rolling on the ground laughing, or maybe you won’t because, “Oh honey, I GET IT!” But. I’m only, right now as I write this, about to hit my 7 years into the job. LOL! Right? Or no? I’m so jaded!! Already!! Haha!

Side note my Mama has been an FA (Flight Attendant) my WHOLE life. Old Continental (since they no longer exist ;) ) for 10 years and now with another, for 14. She’s been on this side of it for much longer than I, and with that comes acceptance, patience, and “oh who’s gives a fuck” ‘s.

She has taught my sisters and I the beauty of the industry. I grew up being very aware of my environment and using my manners. I mean for God sake the woman put me through cotillion...but so grateful for that, as having manners is sadly becoming a lost art in today’s world.

She is old school and I...respect and appreciate that....

Now I know what you’re thinking. This typical millennial.. so privileged and lazy. But the truth is, being a flight attendant is a hard job. You are a first responder, a very underpaid actress, a therapist, a babysitter, a concierge, a MacGyver, a janitor, etc.

On top of the fact that while it’s a tough job it also can be a very lonely one and for many different reasons.

I’ve dealt with, along with all my friendly sky hero’s, numerous crazies, drunks, entitled assholes (even more entitled pilots) weirdos, pissed “the F off” people, crying babies, crying adults, pill poppers, MUSICIANS WHO CARRY THEIR INSTRUMENTS WITHOUT HARD CASES...pet peeve #128...the list literally goes on and on.

A positive you ask?

I fly for free....or next to nothing.

This job has many heart and head aches but, it is a spectacular adventure.

And while you see I’ve written some pretty negative things thus far, there is SO much more good than bad. I’ve met some pretty incredible people and fellow flight attendants, I could write a book....or blog....

So here I am.

I’m going to for warn you though. While I’ll be sharing with you some really wonderful and intimate stories of my travels, this is no Kumbaya sit around the camp fire kind of blog. This is a raw, true, rewarding and real story...stories...kind of blog. I’ll probably literally have to go and delete any and all photos of what airline I work for off social media to protect the company but, yolo right?

And I really feel my crews need a middle finger, hug around the neck kind of place, that represents what we all are always really thinking. Stories that make you cry with joy and also ones that make you wanna start a riot.

And for those of you not in the industry? Well to get a real look at the ones who safely get you from point A to point B, miss their families on holidays to get you to yours and that arm their doors not knowing what could happen inflight.

I am flight attendant, fuck this but, I love it.....hear me roar.