olymouse - Tumblr blog

[olymouse]

Lookin good... getting better...

[olymouse]

If you’re an introvert, follow us @introvertunites​

[olymouse]

“The person most in control is the person who can give up control.”

— Frederick Salomon Perls

[olymouse]

“To gain your own voice, forget about having it heard. Become a saint of your own province and your own consciousness.”

— Allen Ginsberg

[olymouse]

Superimposed to see the comparison...

[olymouse]

How I hope I'll look back at these and see how far I've come.

[olymouse]

I think we idealists are both the best and the worst at appreciating life. I am more awe-struck with the world than a lot of people I know and yet I’m not nearly as good at accepting and appreciating the inseparability of pleasure and pain. Other people seem to readily accept that the two are a package deal and buy it as a whole without complaining. I continue to haggle with the universe over this shoddy buy one get one deal.

[olymouse]

Taste a Lie

The other night at Olive Garden, while we waited to be seated, I noticed the hostess saying friendly goodbyes to the people leaving. She thanked them for coming in and actually managed to sound sincere. I thought back to my bad waitress days and tried to remember if I ever managed to fake a thank you as well as she did. I don’t think I did. I think the closest I could come to that was to offer a hollow wish for a good night. You know—somewhere off and out of my hair. I have a hard time even imagining thanking people for allowing me to serve them, even if I’m getting paid to do so. I just don’t mean it.

It makes me think of Bootstrap Bill Turner in the POTC movies when he says, “I could say I did what I had to when I left you and your mother to go pirating. But it would taste a lie to say it isn’t what I wanted.” I relate to that. “It would taste a lie…” I should start using that.

“Would you mind driving me to the store?”

“Yeah, I’ll take you to the store. But it would taste a lie to say I don’t mind.”

“Do you want to unload the dishwasher for me?”

“I’ll do it. But it would taste a lie to say I want to.”

"Bye guys! I could say I appreciate your money. But it would taste a lie to call it a pleasure."

Now THAT I could say and mean.

It’s because I’m an idealist in the worst way. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Reality has no bearing on my desires. I don't like to compromise. I like to believe in a world in which I don’t have to pretend to be grateful for things I really don’t want. I don’t want to have to say, “Mmm, thanks for the bowl of shit, Cosmos. You’re right, the solid turd IS so much better than the soupy diarrhea.”

That’s the dark side of idealism, I guess. I have stars in my eyes, but no silver linings in my clouds.

[olymouse]

The Seven Stages of Stuff I Don't Wanna

[olymouse]

And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

"Your parents got one thing right. They didn't make you afraid of the helpers. They didn't make you ashamed to ask for help."

I looked at her-- right at her-- I think for the first time.

"And you got something right, too," she said softly. "You asked for help. You saved yourself. That's what you're doing. You're saving yourself. You are your own hero."

I wanted to cry. It was all I needed to hear to know I was going to be okay.

[olymouse]

"I've probably made every well-intentioned mistake in the book," she said. "And I guess I'm just going to have to keep making them."

[olymouse]

Pardon me, I have dragoo.

I had a dream last night that I was on a hoity-toity cruise with a bunch of rich people who spoke broken English. I was teaching them to say, "I have dragoo" (pronounced dray-goo) when they had unintentional body noise and "I have dragon" (pronounced dray-goan) when they had intentional body noise. I couldn't stop laughing as all these pretentious people went around saying, "Pardon me, I have dragoo." Not as many people said they had dragon, but it was even funnier when they did.

[olymouse]

The real INFP

INFP’s are not ISFJ’s.

The sterotypical INFP is more like an ISFJ than anything else. INFP’s are rarely sweet, typically not unconditionally kind, they don’t hide in the corner shyly and they don’t act cute.

Let’s be honest here, INFJ’s and INFP’s have this reputation in MBTI that niether of them deserve, and more importaintly, it is impossible to live up to. INFP’s are just as far from perfect as ESTP’s, ESTJ’s and ENTJ’s. INFP’s can be really mean, people. Straight up ignorant. Self-importaint. Seething with anger. INFP’s can be way meaner than ENTJ’s, more flippant than ENTP’s, more hostile than ESTP’s, and the big take away is that they often are, 

THE AVERAGE INFP, is a person who is openly warm to like max 5 people. To others they keep emotional distance and are only warm when they feel like the other person needs them to be. We feel empathetic when someone opens up, and we’re a sholder to cry on only when the situation calls for it. We don’t want to hear passing gossip or shallow problems, and we’re likely to respond negatively to such things. We’re less open than we’d like, and more cold than we mean to be. Fi, as a rule of the function, is gaurded, its not a constant light shining out and lighting up the world, It’s not a sumptuous river, gushing out life from a waterfall. It’s a deep well, a very deep well, with clear water at the very bottom, and deep waters don’t run still. Our emotions are for the few close to us, and otherwise, emergency situations. 

We’re, quite frankly, inapproriately cold and tactless in alot of situations. Being wholly authentic means abadoning social correctness for truity. Which may be a cute concept, but it comes off as cold and alienating in the real world. People act like INFP’s are the shy cutie of the MBTI-scape, but we’re not. (not on purpose at least) Deep emotion really does mean that its not on the surface for INFP’s, Not only that, Fi is a judgement function, so a real charactaristic of INFP’s is being stongly opinionated on certain things. This could be as harmless as fandom or as overtly as huge social issues. INFP’s are the kind of people to ask others to turn off a movie they hate, or refuse to go to a certain place because they had a bad experience there. 

For every beautiful thing about INFP’s there is absolutely a not great thing, too, is all I’m saying, and in the case of INFJ’s and INFP’s those things are often ignored. The usually stated downside of INFPs being weak, scared and whiny isint even accurate. INFP’s can be Kylo Ren-esque monsters. It’s true that INFP’s can be CS Lewis-esque enlightened teachers, but alot of them arent. They can be incredibly loving, poetic, inteligent, sensitive, empathic, imaginative and peaceful, and the AVERGAGE INFP contains many of those traits, but the AVERAGE INFP might also posses some traits of being closed of, judgemental, tactless, unharmonious, opinionated, inconsiderate of others, and downright mean.  Honestly, the mark of an INFP isin’t even being caring, loving, emotional and turbulent. It’s being imaginative, prosey, figurative, out-wardly intuitive, and idea-driven. While an INFP spends most of the time in thier Fi, feeling and introspecting, outwardly they interact with Ne. Not only that, they’re likely to explain thier feelings with ideas and figurative language rather than openess. If emotions are fish in a pond, they’re likely to give you a pole rather than a fish. I get so many asks from INFP’s who ask if they’re really an INFP if they’re not outwardly emotional or a mean and nihilistic at times.

 A real INFP is a random, erratic, eccentric, head-in-the-clouds philosopher, somewhat deatached from the world and its demands. They have a strong deep heart for a few close people and a cause or two close to them. They’re a bit anti-social and a bit opinionated. They open up when you do. They have a heart of gold that they let a few people see and otherwise let it guide them from deep inside. 

I’m not here to say INFP’s aren’t wonderful, or that they shouldn’t be loved and highly-regarded. If you’re a phase 3 INFP who has worked hard to be loving, open and giving, then I love you, I’m proud of you and you’re an asset to us all. However, that’s not what i was talking about. I’m trying to validate the struggle of the average INFP. INFP’s want to be loved, but more than that, we want to be seen for what we are and loved anyway. And when people describe the lovable INFP, they mostly just describe an ISFJ, and thats a little invalidating. Sorry for the stern tone n_n”

~INFP-sama

[olymouse]

If you care about something enough, it’s going to make you cry. But you have to use it. Use your tears. Use your pain. Use your fear. Get mad.

Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian (via theliteraryjournals)

[olymouse]

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

[olymouse]

I think we all yearn to be catastrophically simplified; to have our messy complications severed from us like gangrene.

For that which makes life worth living makes death worth dying.

The sun in our sky will be our falling star.

Our damnation will be our salvation.

As we beg for God to snuff our heavy hope and bless us with the freedom of despair.

[olymouse]

It is easier, perhaps, to feel guilty for giving up hope than it is to face the reality that hope was never a cure.