oliviamms

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I think we owe an apology to the Americans, looks like at least some of the issues with their healthcare system can be addressed with guns

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buddie + reductress headlines (1/?)

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i don’t think this is an ‘i love you’ realization but it’s absolutely an ‘i can’t live without you’ realization

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it is now canonically possible that buddie fanfic can exist in the 911 universe

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Source

Update: Article

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Husbands

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Buck: I have a lie detector in my shirt.

Eddie: . . . What? Fine - take it off and prove it then.

Chimney: *walks into the room* What is going on here?

Chimney: *sees Buck unbuttoning shirt* Follow up question - why do you want Buck to take off his shirt?

Eddie: WHAT? NO I DON'T . . .

Buck: *shirt starts to beep*

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Eddie: Our relationship is strictly professional. Buck, sitting on Eddie's lap: Absolutely. Only on business.

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Here’s something I shall drop into the void

Buck waited for another two weeks after he first saw the text bubbles on his phone, opening his and Tommy’s chat at every possibility to wait. He waited for those bubbles to reappear, for a sign that Tommy was still thinking about him. But there was no sign, no bubbles, no nothing.

Buck had changed Tommy’s name in his phone to his own nickname in a valiant attempt to keep himself from reaching out. It didn’t take long for him to change it back, something in him desperately needing to see Tommy’s name. He was grasping at crumbs and he knew it.

Two weeks later, he nearly dropped his phone as the text bubble reappeared. His heart sped up and a lump appeared in his throat as he watched with baited breath. He was alone in the gym and he was glad of it. His friends meant well, he knew, but he didn’t want his phone snatched away from him again.

He’d already seen his future get snatched away. He couldn’t bear to watch it happen again.

The bubble went away, then reappeared just as the tones went off, calling five stations to a fully involved apartment fire. Cursing under his breath, Buck shoved his phone in his pocket and ran for the engine.

He checked his phone again just before arriving at the fire, heart sinking at the lack of message or bubble.

***

The blaze didn’t go down for hours. By the time they got back to the station, Buck had forgotten about his phone for the first time in weeks. As everyone else hit the showers, he finally pulled it out of his pocket for the first time in hours and froze.

There was no text message.

There was, however, a voicemail.

Buck’s feet took him of their own accord into the bunk room, away from any distractions. He fumbled with the buttons before shoving the phone to his ear. He couldn’t hit play fast enough.

“Evan.” Just hearing Tommy’s voice again made all the emotions surge, anger and sadness and longing and confusion all gelling into a thick lump in his chest. “Or B-Buck. I don’t know if I have the right to call you Evan anymore.”

It would always be Evan. Even for Tommy. Especially for Tommy.

“I just-I needed to say something. And I know you’re on shift. Probably at that fire downtown. Be safe. Please.” Buck didn’t know that he’d ever heard such uncertainty in Tommy’s voice. It was unfamiliar and unsettling. He didn’t like it. “This might be the coward’s way out. And I hope you don’t feel obligated to listen. I just need you to know something. You deserve answers, ones I didn’t give you before.”

There was a long moment of silence on the other end.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I want you to know that. I ran away because of my own problems, not because you did anything. You talked about me being an inspiration, but Evan, Buck, I’m anything but. I wanted nothing more than to agree to moving in. It wouldn’t be your place though. I have a house. It makes more sense to move into mine. I wanted that. I still want that and it’s not fair to you.

But at the same time, I realized that you-you think I’m a much better person than I am. Evan, you’re-you’re fucking amazing. You love unashamedly, you keep your family close, you aren’t afraid to be yourself. I’m always afraid. I’m never good enough. I’ve never been enough. Done some shit that I can never undo. Said shit I can’t take back. I hurt you, I hurt Abby, I hurt a lot of people by being a coward. Hurt myself most, I think, and I’ll never be deserving of you. And I was afraid of you figuring that out for yourself.

I shouldn’t have said all that shit about needing to explore. You don’t need to do that for your identity. I said you should because I knew that you would find someone worthy of you. It’s not me. I wanted it to be. I really fucking wanted it.” Tommy’s voice broke. Buck swiped at the silent tears running down his face, disturbing the soot settled there.

“I’m fucking selfish cause all I want is that future we had in front of us. I’m an idiot for letting you go and I would be an idiot if I tried to stay, knowing I could never deserve you. I’m so-so confused and lost and I just miss you. I love you and I’m a mess.”

Buck choked out a sob, scrubbing at his face.

“That’s not fair. I shouldn’t have said that. That’s not fair to you.” Tommy was quiet for another moment. “I think what I’m trying to say is that I ran because I was scared of you breaking my heart. I knew if I ran first, it would just be hurting myself. You hurting me, it’s something I could never predict or prepare for. It’s the unknown. Because all you’ve ever done is make me happy. I’ve never felt more alive than with you. Every moment we were apart sucked and these last few weeks…” Tommy trailed off again. Finally, he blew out a deep breath.

“I’m a mess. I thought I was put together. I thought I’d done my time in therapy and had worked through these issues, but I haven’t. I’m-I’m back in therapy now. I’ve got a lot of shit to work through. Feels good to tackle it though. I’m doing it for me mostly, but I’m also doing it for you. For us. Even if you would never take me back, I’m doing it because we deserved it. Because you deserved it.

I would take everything back that night if I could. I have no right to ask you to listen to this. I don’t know if you ever will. I have no right to beg for your forgiveness. To ask you for another chance. But if you let me, I would. Maybe not yet. I-I gotta work through some shit first. But I would spend every day and night for the rest of our lives making it up to you. I would never leave you again, not my choice. I’d spend the rest of my life making sure you’re loved and that you never doubt it.

You owe me nothing. You deserve better. You could tell me to fuck off, or ignore me. I’ll respect whatever you want. You never signed up for this. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

The line went silent for a long time. Buck had to check to make sure the voicemail hadn’t ended, sniffling as he did so.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You’re it for me and I should’ve fought harder to tell you. I should’ve told you I love you. I have a lot of regrets, Evan. You’ll never be one. Letting you go will be my biggest.”

And the voicemail ended.

“Fuck.�� Buck whispered, rubbing away the tears from his eyes. “Fuck. Goddamnit.” He pulled up the automated transcript of the voicemail and read it until his eyes swam again. He saved the voicemail and the transcript before pulling up their messages.

Buck: you’re gonna say all that to me in person. And then we’re going to talk about it. No more making decisions for me, but we’re going at your pace now not mine

Buck: and I’m going to say it back in person

Therapy would do them both good. Maybe therapy together would help too. And maybe it would all be for nothing, but even as much as it all still hurt, Buck wasn’t going to deny himself what he wanted anymore. These last weeks had been hell enough.

Buck: and it’s still Evan for you

The bell went off in that moment and Buck wiped his face again hurriedly, grimacing at the realization that he hasn’t even gotten to shower yet as he ran out of the bunk room. The others looked him up and down in concern as he climbed into the truck, but he didn’t pay attention. He didn’t even know what kind of call they were going on, too in his own head to listen. His mind just kept looping on,

I love you

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[x]

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asking questions so stupid not even google's broken AI has anything to say about it

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How long until Dr Oz becomes Surgeon General

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reblog if you remember what it felt like to walk into blockbuster

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