olivebranchliving

[olivebranchliving]

Baby Boy, On the Eve Of Your First Birthday

I can’t believe we are here already. Where did the last year go? Everyone warned me, and I politely smiled and nodded, thinking “yeah yeah I know! A year is so long though!”  But here we are. And now I’m the one saying it. It all went by way too fast. How is it possible that you have grown and changed so much in just a year? 

It seems like just last week I was waking up with you every 2 hours at night. Some nights I would sit up holding you all night long so just you would sleep. I remember sobbing, wondering if it would always be this way. Would I ever sleep again? And now, you don’t need me at night. I’m the one waking up in the middle of the night missing you. I wouldn’t mind one more night of you sleeping in my arms. Because one day, too soon, I will need you more than you need me. Maybe it is already beginning.

This time last year, you were physically still a part of me. Everywhere I went, you went. Everything I ate, you ate. And I loved it. Some people don’t like being pregnant, but I absolutely loved it. Then this day came. July 16. And all of a sudden my water broke and I was headed for the hospital. I was headed into what I thought would be the hardest and scariest part of parenting. And don’t get me wrong, labor and delivery were so hard and so scary. But when I look back on this year, they were the easiest parts. Bringing you into this world ended up being the least scary part of parenting. 

For 9 months while you grew inside of me, I worried. I hated not being able to see inside and to know that everything was okay. Waiting to hear your heartbeat at doctors appointments was nerve wracking but oh so relieving to hear. I kept saying “I just can’t wait until he is out so I don’t have to worry so much!” Ha! I couldn’t have been more wrong. Having you out in the world is far scarier. This world we live in isn’t always the nicest place. But I hope I am raising you to be the kind of person that makes the world a little less scary. 

Until you came along, I never knew I could worry so much. I also never knew I could love so much. I loved you when you were just a wish in my heart. But, I never truly understood how much love my heart could hold until you were here. There are times I look at you and think my heart might just explode. It catches me off guard, the swelling up of so much love. It is a rush of emotion you can’t know until you are a parent. I will never be able to convey to you how much I love you, it is not a love that can be explained, but I hope you always feel it. You are my biggest wish come true. The best part of my every day. And maybe it all feels sweeter because for a while I wasn’t sure if you were even possible. Most days I still can’t believe you are mine. I look at you in wonder and am awestruck. I can’t believe I made you! Those big blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and every curl on your head. And you, my sweet boy, you made me a Mom. And for that, I am eternally grateful. 

[olivebranchliving]

Our Best Parenting Decision

Two weeks ago my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant with Oliver. The waiter came over and took Matt’s order and my order and then proceeded to walk away. We had to stop him and tell him that we also needed to order for Oliver. He looked a little bit confused and taken aback. Ollie is 7 months and small for his age; he weighs just under 14 lbs. I could see the wheels turning in the waiter’s head. He was wondering what we would possibly be ordering off the menu (at Buffalo Wild Wings) for this tiny baby, or maybe perhaps we were joking. I’m sure he thought he was humoring us when he took our order of chicken tenders and a fruit cup for the baby.

The thing is, he wasn’t humoring us. We ordered food that Oliver would actually eat. And he did. He sat there in his high chair and ate chicken tenders and mandarin oranges. Sure, a lot of it ended up on the floor, but that’s to be expected when children eat. And as much of a pain as it was to pick up the food off the floor before leaving, it was less of a pain than having to pack Oliver his own jars of baby food and spoon feed him.

When Oliver was a few months old, I did a lot of research into starting solids with a baby. Did I want to go the more traditional route and start him on purees? Or skip the purees altogether and just give him food? The same foods Matt and I were eating. This way of introducing solids is called Baby Led Weaning, and I was really intrigued by it. I joined a couple of facebook groups and bought a book to do some research. In all of the reading that I did, I never heard anyone say they regretted doing it this way. Matt and I talked about it and decided this was how we wanted to introduce solids to Oliver.

We learned the appropriate way to cut the foods (finger length or quartered lengthwise depending on the food), the milestones a baby has to be meeting to start on solids, and how to differentiate between gagging and choking. I renewed my CPR certification so that I would be up to date on what to do in case there was a choking incident. We also learned about the many benefits of introducing solids in this way.

With traditional weaning, where you start babies with purees, many people start at 4 months old. And many pediatricians (ours included) recommend starting with purees at 4 months as well. However, babies stomachs and GI tracts are not ready to handle solids that early. New studies are showing that we should really be waiting until 6 months of age to introduce solids.

Another interesting piece of information that I learned was that with purees, babies are learning to essentially suck down food and swallow it without chewing first. It begs the question, why are we teaching babies to swallow solids before we teach them to chew? With BLW, babies are learning to bite off the appropriate size piece of food and chew it before swallowing. When we are babies, our gag reflexes are actually much shallower in our mouths than as adults. It doesn’t take much to make a baby gag. Because of this, if a baby puts something too far into their mouth or takes too big of a bite, they tend to gag it up before it gets anywhere near their airway. It is beneficial for babies to learn how much they should put in their mouth at an age when their gag reflex is working so strongly in their favor. Another important thing to note is that when done correctly, BLW does not have a higher chance of choking than traditional weaning does.

With solids, it is also recommended that you start with one new food every few days so that you are able to easily identify any food allergies that may arise. When doing BLW, the baby is fed the same meal as the rest of the family. The family sits and eats together, so the parents can model how to eat the different components of the meal. Doing mealtimes this way teaches the appropriate behavior and manners for the table. It also introduces babies to multi-ingredient recipes right off the bat so they never get used to having each food separated. Many parents who have done BLW love that their children grow up willing to eat anything, and they don’t have picky eaters. Matt used to hide his carrots in his pockets and throw them into the bushes after dinner, so I would love to avoid Oliver being picky about his food!

Before Oliver was able to start BLW, there were specific milestones he had to meet. A few of the major ones were that he had to be 6 months of age, he had to show an interest in food and be able to put things into his mouth, and he had to be able to sit unassisted for a full minute. As Oliver got closer to that 6 month mark, Matt and I prepared by buying him baby dishes and silverware, bibs, and sippy cups. But, when he finally turned 6 months, he was still not able to sit unassisted for a minute. It was not until he was 6 and a half months that he met this milestone. And we waited because we understood how important it was. If a baby is not able to sit unassisted for at least a minute, they may lack the core strength to gag up food that is heading towards their airway. Safely gagging up food is definitely a skill you want your BLW baby to have. So we waited.

When Oliver was finally meeting all of the milestones, we were both excited and nervous to start. The nice thing was, we didn’t have to plan what Oliver would eat and we didn’t have to buy him any separate food items. The first night we started him on solids, we were having chili for dinner. So, Oliver’s first meal was chili. And he loved it! Since starting Oliver on solids a month and a half ago, he has had over 65 foods. And there have not been any that he hasn’t liked. We love that Oliver eats whatever we eat. Whether we are at home or out to eat, there is no special meal being prepared.

Oliver uses a little fork and spoon when he is eating. He is able to use the utensils correctly probably 10% of the time, but he is learning. And eating with Oliver can be very messy! He always resorts to eating with his hands, no matter what the food is. That kid will eat guacamole by the handful. People say they are worried about the mess that comes with BLW, but honestly, you are going to have a mess no matter how you introduce solids to your baby. Oliver already eats more variety and has better table manners than many children we see out at restaurants. We love knowing that he will only grow more mature and independent in his eating.

While there are many health benefits to starting Oliver on solids this way, there are other benefits as well. Matt and I always used to eat dinner sitting in front of the TV. For a long time, we didn’t even have a dining room. Now, because we want to set a good example for Oliver and model for him, the three of us eat dinner together at the dining room table every night. It is nice to all sit down together and have the time to talk and share about our days over our meal. We also choose healthier things to eat because we know Oliver will be eating what we eat, and we don’t want him to eat junk. Another aspect that I love, is how involved Matt can be. When you have a baby that is breastfed and refuses to take a bottle, there is not much for dad to do when it comes to feeding. Now that Oliver is eating solids, Matt loves giving him new foods to try. They are now able to bond over their love of pickles.

Starting Oliver on solids using the BLW method has been one of the best choices we have made as parents. Some people definitely think we are crazy and many people worry when they see Oliver chomping on a spare rib, but we are confident in our decision and that's all that matters!

[olivebranchliving]

500 Books

In February I became a consultant for Usborne Books and More. If you’re not familiar with UBAM, they are an award winning children's publisher and have amazing, engaging books for all ages. Our books go from birth up through young adult. AND we even have leveled readers, which is awesome for kiddos learning to read! Why did I want to sell children’s books? As a way to stay connected to my passion.

As a student, literacy was always my favorite subject. I absolutely loved reading. From a very young age, To Kill a Mockingbird was my favorite book. I even got into an argument with my 6th grade teacher about who the author was. I was right of course! When I later became a teacher, literacy was my favorite subject to teach. I always loved Kindergarten the best because that is the year most students learn to read. I still remember the first time I helped a child sound out and read a word. It was the word cat. That seems easy enough, but anyone who has taught a child to read knows what goes into reading a word such as cat. It is not always easy for a beginning reader. After teaching Kindergarten, I worked as a literacy interventionist for students struggling to read.

So, when I stopped teaching to stay home with Oliver, I started to really miss the impact I had on my students. I had attended a friend’s Usborne party on facebook and even hosted my own back in November. The party was super fun but what was even better were all the books I got for Oliver. They are high quality, very interactive, and engaging. AND I earned them all for FREE through the party I hosted. That’s right! The picture below shows all of the books I earned!

Then, in February, I found out Usborne was offering an amazing deal for anyone who wanted to become a consultant. I already knew I loved the books and it was a great way to get even more discounted books for Oliver. But it was more than that. I have the opportunity to create and run Usborne parties for friends and family so that they can earn free books too! The party I just hosted on Monday was amazing! The hostess just ordered her $120 in free books!

You might be thinking, why do you care if other people get free books? Or, Oliver is only 7 months old...what is he going to do with all of those books?

There are some alarming statistics about children, reading, and access to books that you may not be aware of. Did you know that children with at least 500 books in their home completed an average of 3.2 more years of education? Or that the number of books in the home had a bigger influence than any other factor, including the parents’ education or reading skills? Oliver was lucky enough to start life with a huge library, and it's still growing. I will never stop buying him books. We have waaaaaay more children’s books in our home than toys. I read to Oliver when he was still in my stomach, and I read to Oliver every night before bedtime. It is extremely important to me that he grows up to love reading and to appreciate literature. I also understand that not all children are as lucky as Oliver. Books cost money and for some families there isn’t any to spare. This is a huge reason I work for Usborne. I have the opportunity to get books into homes for free and hopefully that positively influences the futures of those children.

I urge you to watch this video about the importance of having books at home. AND please reach out to me if you are interested in hosting a party to earn free books! You really have nothing to lose, and tons of books to gain!

If you really have no desire to host a party, you can use this link to order books from my shop. But really, who doesn’t like to party?!

Peace, Kasey

[olivebranchliving]

Are You Speaking My Language?

I got my brother and hubby in a little trouble.

It happened two weeks ago while my brother and his girlfriend were visiting. A friend of mine posted about the 5 Love Languages and I decided to take the quiz to find out my love language. I also decided everyone else should take the quiz too. With much hesitation, the guys agreed. This was their first mistake. After we all took the quiz, Bryt and I came to the realization that our partners don’t speak our love languages. For example, my love language is Receiving Gifts. I know, I know! This sounds very materialistic. But in reality, it's about the thought and effort the giver puts into thinking of something that could bring me joy or make my life easier.  It could be a homemade gift and I would still love it! The problem is, Matt is not a gift giver. He hates Valentine’s Day, doesn’t like giving gifts for anniversaries, thinks push presents are stupid, and he definitely does not do the homemade gift thing. This often leaves me feeling unappreciated. You see, I give gifts to others to show I care. Every Christmas my sister and I say we will not buy each other gifts. And every Christmas I get in trouble for buying her a gift. I can’t help it! I love giving gifts to others!

Matt on the other hand, likes to do things for others to show he cares. His love language is Acts of Service. This makes complete sense when I think about it. If my car needs an oil change or a new battery, Matt takes it to get fixed. If there is work to be done around the house, Matt does it. He does things that he thinks will make me happy. And I give him things that I think will bring him joy. This is where the problem is. It is almost like a communication issues. We don’t speak each other's love language.

When we started thinking about it, we realized that people tend to use their own Love Language to show others they care. I appreciate gifts, so I give gifts to others. Matt appreciates when people do things to make his life easier, so that is what he does to show he cares. This is probably the case for most people. Unfortunately, it can cause problems in a relationship if you don’t realize this is what’s happening. Your partner might be showing you they care in the only way they know how, but if you don’t know this, it can leave you feeling unappreciated. Since coming to this realization, I can now appreciate the things Matt does to make my life easier, because I know he is trying to show he cares. And when I help Oliver make a homemade card for Matt, he can recognize it as my way of showing love. I think it is so important to understand your partner’s love language so you can better understand what they do to show love.

On the other side of that, I also think it is nice if your partner knows your love language and tries to speak it. This is what Matt did after learning what my love language is. I had an old MacBook that I had been working on cleaning up and clearing space on. I hated trying to blog from my phone and was soooo excited to have my old computer to use. After working on it all day, I found out it was too old to even support most websites. I was super bummed but decided to save money from my side jobs and eventually buy a MacBook Air. Little did I know, Matt had already found me a MacBook Air his friend was selling. Last weekend he came home with the computer for me! This was Matt’s way of acknowledging and speaking my love language. Now I’m not saying you have to buy your partner a computer. The point is, Matt saw something that could make my life easier so he got it for me. This time it was a computer, next time it might be wiper fluid. It's not about the monetary amount, it's about the thought that goes into it.

I highly recommend everyone take the 5 Love Languages quiz to better understand the way you feel most appreciated and to learn how to show appreciation to your partner. For all you know, your partner could have been showing they care all along, and you just weren’t understanding their language. And honestly, who doesn’t want to be fluent in multiple languages?

Peace, Kasey

[olivebranchliving]

My Why

I recently became a consultant for Arbonne and you may wonder why. While there are a few reasons I choose Arbonne, below is my big reason. 💙

This is my #1 most important reason for choosing Arbonne and for introducing the products to my loved ones. Even if you don’t choose Arbonne, this is worth reading and then reconsidering the chemicals you allow in your bodies, on your bodies, and in your household. How many of you are familiar with Endocrine and Hormone Disruptors? I wasn’t either until a couple of years ago. After getting married, I could not wait to start our family. But after trying to get pregnant for over 6 months and seeing month after month of negative pregnancy tests, I started really paying attention to my cycle. It was so out of whack and irregular! I ended up with a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In short, I found out I have a hormonal disorder. I was put on fertility meds to help get pregnant. The meds worked the first month I was on them but unfortunately I lost that baby at 6 weeks pregnant. I was told I had to wait a couple of months before taking the meds again. But it got me thinking about what I could do to regulate my hormones on my own. I started looking into environmental factors that I had control over. This is when I found out about Endocrine and Hormone Disruptors. The World Health Organization describes them in this short write up: “Endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs) and potential EDCs are mostly man-made, found in various materials such as pesticides, metals, additives or contaminants in food, and personal care products. EDCs have been suspected to be associated with altered reproductive function in males and females; increased incidence of breast cancer, abnormal growth patterns and neurodevelopmental delays in children, as well as changes in immune function. Human exposure to EDCs occurs via ingestion of food, dust and water, via inhalation of gases and particles in the air, and through the skin. EDCs can also be transferred from the pregnant woman to the developing fetus or child through the placenta and breast milk. Pregnant mothers and children are the most vulnerable populations to be affected by developmental exposures, and the effect of exposures to EDCs may not become evident until later in life. Research also shows that it may increase the susceptibility to non-communicable diseases.” During that time, I decided to cut out all processed food and red meat. I ate a very clean diet for a month. To my surprise, without the help of my fertility meds, my cycle regulated and I became pregnant with Oliver! Now that I know how food can effect my hormones (and Oliver’s because he’s breastfed) I want to focus on my (and his) healthcare products. It only takes 26 seconds for the chemicals from our products to enter our bloodstream. I don’t want those hormone altering chemicals in our bodies! And, knowing I want more children in the future, I think by taking control of my hormones now, I can save myself the struggle and heartbreak I endured last time I tried to get pregnant. This is the biggest reason I am choosing Arbonne for our products. Arbonne bans parabens, phthalates, triclosan, synthetic fragrances and dyes, and Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)/Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA). These chemicals are endocrine and/or hormone disruptors. Are there other products out there that also ban these ingredients? Yes, of course. But honestly I don’t have the time to research individual products for myself and for Oliver and figure out which ones are safe. With Arbonne, that work is done for me. I love that I can go to one place and find products I trust for both of us! For the sake of your own health and that of your family members and little ones, I urge you to pay attention to what is in your foods and products! What we put in and on our babies bodies today could have horrible repercussions later in their lives. That’s just not a risk I’m willing to take.

Visit my website here.

Peace, Kasey

[olivebranchliving]

Not Tonight

I almost sleep trained my baby last night. 

To give you some background information, Oliver sleeps in bed with me. We co-sleep. That was not always the plan though. In fact, I used to say that my children would NEVER sleep in bed with me. 

When we brought Oliver home from the hospital we had a very nice bassinet set up in our room, next to the bed. However, if you read my previous post, you know that Oliver did not actually sleep much when he first came home from the hospital. So, he spent a lot of time in my arms (as seen in the photo below) and hardly any time in the bassinet. Then, I finally got him to sleep in the bassinet at the beginning of bedtime, but he would wake up to nurse throughout the night. Most of the time, after nursing, he was okay going back into his bassinet to sleep. There was even a stretch of time when he was about three months old that he would sleep for six or seven hours at the beginning of bedtime! You’re probably thinking “Wow! That is awesome! You must have been so well rested!” Except, babies go to bed very early. So the six hours of sleep Oliver was getting stretched from 6pm to midnight. I did not go to bed at 6pm so I only ever got three hours or so. Regardless, he was sleeping pretty well and we were loving it.

Then the four month sleep regression hit. If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about. All of the sudden Oliver could not sleep on his own for more than an hour or two. And, once he woke up to nurse, there was no putting him back in his own bed. He would scream and cry until I picked him up again. So, that is how I found myself co-sleeping with my baby. I researched safe co-sleeping to make sure Oliver would be okay and decided this was what it was going to take to maybe get a little sleep at night.  Matt still gets his half of the bed, and now my half (that I previously shared with my dog, Berkley) is being occupied by myself, Berkley, and now also Oliver. As you can imagine, I don’t get much sleep. And, for those of you that don’t know us, we live in a one bedroom house. So putting Oliver to sleep in his own room is not currently an option. 

So, this is the sleeping situation that led me to think about sleep training Oliver. To be honest, we do a tiny bit of sleep training as it is. Sometimes when I first put Oliver to bed at night, he cries for a few minutes before falling asleep. That is really the extent of our sleep training though. I listen and watch him on the baby monitor from the living room and make sure he is okay. Because of this, I thought I could handle listening to him cry himself to sleep at any other point during the night too. My plan was to nurse him throughout the night as usual, but put him back into his own bed after each feeding. And leave him in his bed until he fell asleep. 

This was not my first attempt at getting him to sleep in his own bed. The problem is, even letting him cry for 10 minutes, when I’m laying right next to him, seems like an eternity. And honestly, it seems so unnecessary. So when I was thinking about trying to sleep train him again, it made me really sad. I didn’t want it to be the last night Oliver would sleep next to me, I wasn’t ready to give that up yet. There will come a time when he does not need to sleep next to me anymore, but I’m not in a hurry to get there yet. 

Does it suck to not get much sleep at night? Of course. Especially because sleeping used to be a hobby of mine. I was the queen of naps. But, I also absolutely love falling asleep at night with Oliver’s tiny body curled up against me. And sometimes in the night when he wakes up, he puts his little hands on my cheeks to hold onto my face. And don’t even get me started on the giant smile he has every morning when he wakes up and sees me next to him.

 We spent 9 months being inseparable while he grew inside of me. Why, all of the sudden, is my baby expected to sleep on his own? Literally every other member of my household (me, hubby, Berkley, Barrett) are allowed to sleep in the bed, but Oliver has to sleep by himself? I feel like it is another one of the child rearing “rules” society has set upon us. You always hear how if you let your child sleep in bed with you, they will never transition to their own bed. Well, I highly doubt there are 18 year old men still sleeping in bed with their parents. I am sure at some point, Oliver will move to his own bed in his own room. And in the meantime, I am going to soak up all of the baby cuddles I can get. I don’t believe you can spoil a baby and I don’t believe him sleeping in bed with me is doing any harm. I have yet to meet a Mama that said she wished she spent less time snuggling with her children. Oliver is only going to be this little for a short time and I am going to spend as much time with him as possible, even while we are sleeping. 

Peace, Kasey

[olivebranchliving]

Becoming

Welcome! If you are reading this page, it’s probably because you are a friend or family member and I’ve asked you to (haha!). BUT, feel free to pass this page along to others, I’m sure I’m not the only Mama out there that’s trying to figure this whole thing out. In fact, I know I’m not. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I never had that “Oh shit! How am I going to do this?!” moment. I also never had that moment at any point during my pregnancy. Why would I? I’m the oldest of three kids, I was raised in my mom’s home daycare, and I have a dual degree in Early Childhood and Elementary Education. I have been both a Preschool teacher and a Kindergarten teacher. I was obviously made to be a mother and I would obviously rock it.

Then Oliver was born. And he did not sleep for the first six nights of his life. Which meant I did not sleep for the first six nights of his life (see my sleep deprived baby snuggle photo below). And guess what happened? Yup! My “Oh shit!” moment came. It has been seven months and I still remember it. I was sitting in bed trying to feed a screaming Oliver, breastfeeding hurt so so bad, and I was extremely sleep deprived. Matt came into the bedroom and there I was, sitting in bed sobbing, while my baby cried in my arms. I remember saying to Matt “Oh my god...what if I never get any sleep again?!” It hit me at that moment that maybe I was not as cut out for this job as I thought I was. I actually really had no idea what I was doing. It is one thing to teach other people’s children during the day, but why did I think that meant I could raise one?! I am NOT going to rock motherhood. 

These were all of the thoughts that filled my head in those first few weeks, or maybe even months. Honestly, so much of it is a blur now. These are the same thoughts I’m sure many of you Mamas have had. And all the while, I held it together publicly. I posted the adorable photos and visited with family and friends. No one would have guessed that behind all of that, I was the hot mess express. Then, slowly over time, my hormones leveled out (why they don’t warn new moms about the crazy hormones is beyond me but we need to start talking about them more!) and I was doing it! I was being a mom, and a really good one too! I probably do a lot of things other moms wouldn't agree with (I feed my seven month old spare ribs on the bone-thank you baby led weaning, and he sleeps in bed with me every night) but Oliver is healthy, and happy, and has a loving environment to grow up in. So, it turns out I’m rocking this Mama thing after all!

I know I will still have good days and bad days as a mom. Heck! Even just as a person. But, those bad days don’t define me and they won’t last forever. I am beyond excited to be raising this tiny human and cannot wait to share this crazy adventure with all of you!

Peace, Kasey