okay-just-me - Tumblr blog

[okay-just-me]

omg yesterday at work my boss handed me a cheque and was like ‘i need you to deliver it to this building, it’s quite a large amount of money so be careful’ and i looked at it and it was just over 1.4 million dollars

1.4 MILLION DOLLARS

someone out there in this world thought i was emotionally mature enough to just fuckin…. carry…… in my own two hands….. 1.4 million dollars…. for 3 city blocks….. in the slight wind…..

let me fuckin tell you i have never been more stressed in my ENTIRE LIFE my palms were sweaty knees weak arms spaghetti i was carrying 1.4 million packets of gum in my hands AND IT WAS WINDY WHAT IF I HAD DROPPED IT?? WHAT IF 1.4 MILLION DOLLARS HAD JUST BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE CITY IN THE WIND???? like do you even god damn understand how many packets of gum that is 

i bet nobody in the world has even SEEN 1.4 million packets of gum at once and there i was LITTLE OLD ME with the power to PURCHASE 1.4 MILLION PACKETS OF GUM AND I WAS JUST WALKIN AROUND IN THE SLIGHT WIND AND nobody… KNEW… NOBDOY WHO WALKED PAST ME… COULD UNDERSTAND… THE POWER… THE GUM… IN MY POSESSSION 

and then i got to the building and it was so fancy the doorman who was probably 40 years older than me called me ma’am and i didn’t know how to respond so i laughed nervously and said thank you which i don’t think is actually the appropriate response to someone calling you ma’am now that i think about

AND THEN I GOT TO THE OFFICE OF THE GUY WHO IW AS GIVING THE CHEQUE TO AND MY HANDS WERE SHAKIN AND HE JUST TOOK IT SO CASUALLY AND SAID THANK YOU AND WALKED BACK INTO HIS OFFICE AND I WANTED TO BE LIKE MARK BUDDY DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY PACKETS OF GUM YOU ARE VIRTUALLY HOLDING RIGHT NOW but i didn’t because mark is the kind of person who just casually takes 1.4 million dollar cheques from people and i’m terrified of him 

[okay-just-me]

when your parents turn a joke into a lecture 

[okay-just-me]

reading in head: i'm practically a master of linguistics my pronunciations are perfect beyond compare

reading aloud: *chokes on spit*

[okay-just-me]

[okay-just-me]

Do you ever sneeze on your period and just… fUCK

[okay-just-me]

[okay-just-me]

This is the type of cat that would try to sell me magical potions in the woods.

I’d buy them all.

[okay-just-me]

My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.

[okay-just-me]

[okay-just-me]

REACTING TO HIGHSCHOOL PHOTOS

[okay-just-me]

Mamrie & Kingsley in Hawaii

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Ellen’s Oscar selfie YouTube edition ^_^

Is it bad if I care more about the people on the bottom pic

[okay-just-me]

when it’s 3AM but the whole squad is still awake

[okay-just-me]

I have so much respect for people who make dictionaries. Someone’s job was to literally describe every word in the English language and put it in a book, like if I had to do that it’d be so sarcastic and rude like “sky: that blue fucking thing over your head dumbass”

[okay-just-me]

My shrimp is so weird like when I touch it, it changes colors and kinda spasms sometimes idk

like it was kinda pinkish and then it turned red and now its yellow

and it has a stripe that wasn’t there before

its weird

[okay-just-me]

how to stop time: kiss

how to travel in time: read

how to escape time: music

how to feel time: write

how to waste time: social media

[okay-just-me]