ohyepshesabellaguerera

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Bruh, ngayon ko lang ulit naopen tumblr ko.

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

I think it is still brave to revive the desire inside you to do kung saan ka talaga passionate. After all the years of being burned out and just going with the flow with the people around you... you still have that desire in you to pursue what really matters to you. Yah, you’re still brave all this time. 

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Lord, I am sad. :( I don't know why.

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

But where? to whom? where and whom will I say that I am really feeling frowny right now. :(

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

I've been feeling such random emotions lately. :( Help me to overcome, Lord.

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Naranasan mo na ba yung alam mong kailangan mo ng break, pero di mo alam anong klaseng break ang kailangan mo.

Break in a way na makikipagcatch-up with friends? gagawa lang ng art whole day? social media break? quiet time alone? eating comfort foods? or break na you will simply spend time ranting and make sumbong kay Lord lahat ng di mo masabi sa tao sa paligid mo?

Hay. To you na nagbabasa nito, if you can relate, may you find the break you need. :)

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Kamusta brave heart? :)

Ang bilis 'no. December na agad. Woooh! Grabe. Patapos na agad ang taon!? And we're still here standing strong - dahil sa GRACE ni Lord! 💛

Been busy lately, di na nakakasulat dito. Haha! Bawi ako this month! :)

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Patuloy lang sa healing. Wag lilingon sa nakaraan. Tuloy lang paabante. ❤

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

June 11, 2020

Minsan ilagagay ka ni Lord sa sitwasyon na sa Kanya ka lang makakahingi ng tulong, hindi sa kahit na sinong tao - sa Kanya lang.

Ang sakit na sobrang nakakalungkot lang. Pero pinipili kong magtiwala na may dahilan si Lord sa lahat, kahit pa sa sitwasyon ko ngayon na parang walang ibang mahingian ng tulong, talagang pinapakita lang ni Lord sakin na dapat sa Kanya lang ako magdepend, hindi sa sarili ko, hindi sa mga tao sa paligid ko.

Nakakapanlumo. Pero kahit na, alam kong may itinuturo ka sa akin, Lord.

Walang pagsidlan yung lungkot ko ngayon, but I know You are just right here beside me, and that fact does not make the pain or loneliness flee agad agad but it gives me assurance na may aasahan ako sa Iyo, Lord.

Na pwede pa din ako umasa ng mas maayos na bukas kahit nasasaktan at nanlulumo ako ngayon.

Na pwede kong asamin na hindi magiging katulad ng nakaraan ko yung future ko dahil I believe You prepared something great for me already, Lord. So, I choose to trust and hold on to You, who is all-knowing and sovereign!

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

after how many nights of crying, of weeping, we're here on another road papunta sa kagalingan, okay lang maging mabagal, basta siguradong walang maiiwang sugat na kailangang langgasin.

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

May 15, 2020 Friday

Napakabuti lang talaga ni Lord 'no?

Kahapon lang sobrang sakit, ngayon yinayakap ako ng comfort Niya at assurance galing sa Kanya na hihilom ding tuluyan ang lahat.

Kahapon lang natatakot ako, ngayon puno ng pag-asa ang puso ko na may hinanda Siyang magandang plano para sakin.

Kahapon lang nababagabag ako, ngayon kinakalma Niya ng katotohanan mula sa salita Niya ang kalooban ko.

Kahapon lang parang ayoko na, parang wala nang sense kung itutuloy pa, ngayon buong tapang akong sumusubok ulit dahil sa Kanya.

Napakabuti mo, Panginoon. Sa araw-araw na sinu-sustain mo ang mga anak mo, sadyang kulang ang lahat ng salitang alam namin para ipahayag yung pagpapasalamat namin sa Iyo. Maraming salamat, Lord.

Salamat dahil mahal mo ako.

Salamat dahil totoo ang pagmamahal mo.

Salamat dahil hindi natitinag ang pagmamahal mo.

Salamat dahil hindi mo ako sinukuan kailanman.

😢😭💕

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

ECQ experiences and realizations

1. There were days na I experienced I was crying out to God hindi dahil sa problema kundi dahil sa nahihirapan akong maramdaman ang presence Niya kahit pa wino-worship ko naman talaga Siya, pero I realized din na I must keep on worshipping lang, dahil hindi nakadepende ang pagkaDiyos ni Lord sa pakiramdam ko. Diyos pa din pa siya anyway so He is worthy of my worship.

2. I experienced to breakdown, a lot. But those were the days na talagang nagpakilala pa lalo si Lord sakin. In the middle of the pain - He never left. He stayed and grieve with me. See, grieving is part of healing, never neglect it. Wag ideny that somehow and sometimes in our lives we needed to cry so hard to let the pain and burdens out of our chest, or maybe you just really needed to cry because it's too painful, as simple as that. But sometimes it gets complicated when we hold back our tears and neglect the grieving phase just because we thought that part is an awful part at ayaw natin nun kasi mukha tayong mahina, but no - grieving is not a weakness, it can also mean you are crying because you can't do it anymore on your own, you can't carry anymore on your own so you give it to God this time - it could lead you to surrender and not weakness. So grieve, cry out as much as you needed to.

3. I was reminded during this quarantine, that everything in this world, everything we posses is temporary - but Him and His word will always be forever reigning. So, practice to not get attached on the world, and on the things on the world instead live as if you were preparing for His grand comeback - persevering to please and glorify Him.

4. I realized that every choice we make has or will have an impact on our future, so, let not our decisions be led by our emotions (or else we'll all be messed up again and again) but by His word alone, where there is assurance of a good future.

5. Moving on is a process. Forgiveness is a process. Don't get pressured but be guided always and be inspired by His love.

6. I realized, no matter how ugly and how bad my past and past mistakes was, it can never define me, unless paniwalaan kong ako ang nakaraan ko at ang mga maling nagawa ko. But I choose to believe on what the Lord has said in His words that I am forgiven, I am redeemed from my past, I am His child - and no past can ruin my bright future which is in my Father's hand.

with all these, God is good no matter what situation we are into right now, the best thing to do is to continue acknowledging His sovereignity even in the middle of crisis!

In Him who heal! Glory to God alone! 🙌

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Brokeness

a painful blessing ❤

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

DRY SEASON

Have you been into a dry season?

Yung panahon na pakiramdam mo parang ang layo sa'yo ni Lord? Yung panahon na parang kahit anong try mo magdwell in His presence - hindi mo siya maramdaman?

Maraming pwedeng dahilan kung bakit minsan nahihirapan tayo maranasan na malapit si Lord sa atin.

Maaaring dahil sa sari-saring problemang kinakaharap natin bilang tao.

Maaari ding dahil sa may nagawa tayo na alam natin nakasakit sa damdamin ni Lord.

Pero sabi nga sa salita Niya - hanapin lang natin Siya ng buong puso at buong pagkatao natin and surely He will be found.

(Deut. 4:29, Matthew 7:7, Jeremiah 29:13)

If you're having hard time to feel His presence kahit kanta ka ng kanta ng worship songs, kahit pray ka ng pray or kahit nagbabasa ka pa ng Bible - tuloy lang, wag kang titigil na kumanta pa din para sa Kanya, na sumamba pa din sa Kanya, na manalangin at manikluhod pa din sa Kanya, na basahin ang Salita Niya, kahit sa panahong hindi mo Siya maramdaman.

Dahil ang pagkaDiyos niya ay hindi nakabasa sa ating nararamdaman :) Diyos siya kahit di natin Siya maramdaman minsan - hindi magbabago yun.

Keep on praying, worshipping, reading and studying His word! :) He will surely be found! ❤

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Yung mga basag, yung mga wasak na tao, malapit si Lord sa kanila. Kaya kung basag ka man, wasak na wasak o nasasaktan, malapit sa iyo si Lord, remember that. :)

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Pain was great; but His purpose is greater

Have you ever prayed for something to happen kahit masakit pa yun, still you had the urge deep within you na kailangan ito ang hilingin mo kay Lord?

Di ko na matandaan if last month or last last month ako nag-umpisang magpray ng ganitong prayer:

"Lord, you hold my future, kung hindi po siya ang para sa akin at hindi din po ako para sa kanya, alisin Mo na lang po lahat ng feelings na meron ako for him, sa kanya din, alisin Mo na po kung meron mang natitira pa siyang feelings for me... If our feelings for each other will become against your precious will - alisin Mo po, Lord."

Honestly, sobrang hirap ako na sambitin iyan sa aking prayers noong una, 4 months na ang nakakaraan after I have decided (also him) na itigil kung anuman yung namamagitan sa amin na alam naming hindi pleasing kay Lord (MU), na para bang kahapon lang nangyari lahat - masakit pa din. But as I hold on to the very reason why I have to completely let go of him, unti-unti ay nababawasan ang sakit. But as I pray to Him na may He always teach this heart to listen to His words to me, to learn to put my full trust on Him kahit na sa kasalukuyan ay damang-dama ko pa din yung kirot (haha, itawa ko lang saglet, kahit mesheket) and to not focus on the pain lang, kundi sa katotohanang talagang may magandang dahilan Siya sa kabila ng masakit na karanasang ito.

Moving on was never easy, isang proseso na walang specific time frame. Nakadepende sa pagsadya mong piliin na umusad. :)

To you, who's reading this, if you are in pain (whatever kind of pain is that), I just want to say na nakakahanga ka, ang tapang mo :) para piliing magpatuloy na umusad papunta sa tunay na kagalingan ng hindi mag-isa kundi kasama ang Dakilang Tagapagpagaling ng lahat ng uri ng sakit :)

Tuloy ka lang ha? Tuloy lang tayo :)

Ang sakit na iyan at ito ay pansamantala lamang, oo, alam ko, masakit talaga, kung pwede lang inuman ng pain killer nilaklak na sana natin yun diba? Pero hindi ganun eh, we had to undergo on a process called moving on.

Alam ko, ilang gabi ka nang puyat at pugto ang mata dahil sa di mapigil na pag-iyak at pag-process sa isip mo kung bakit nangyari pa yun, naiintindihan ko :) mahirap, pero alam kong kayang-kaya, at posible :)

One of the greater purpose of this season of brokenness is for us to not put our trust on our own but to fully rely on His power in all aspects of our life. Simple lang pero bat hirap na hirap tayo? Siguro nga kasi nakita ni Lord na mas nangibabaw yung sarili natin kaysa sa Kanya sa puso natin, kaya ngayon we are learning it the hard way.

Basta tandaan mo, hanga ako sayo, natutunanan natin ang art of surrender sa pamamagitan ng pain na ito :)

Tuloy lang sa panalangin mong genuine sa Kanya :) Tuloy lang sa pagpili ng kung ano ang nararapat sa harap Niya at hindi kung ano ang gusto lang natin :)

Tuloy lang... this season of brokenness shall come to pass too... 💔💕

[ohyepshesabellaguerera]

Today was productive! Proud of you, self! Pero mas proud ako sa mga frontliners today! Wooooohhh! Salute! Mga tunay kayong bayani!!!!! 💕