ohnobo4-blog

[ohnobo4-blog]

Your mess is your Test!

[ohnobo4-blog]

OH LOVE OH LOVE STOP MAKING A FOOL OF ME!

I HATE COMMAS, PERIODS, ALLLL PUNCTUATION. I just want to get the point across. F!!! punctuation you may see a few here and there but they aren't in the right spots majority of the time.

Oh love oh love stop making a  fool of me. I never really understood that song until I became the fool that it was talking about. Gave my whole heart to a man that could care less if a dog pissed on it in an open field so everyone could see how long he pees on it. Then again there's this guy heehee.. that I know loves me and would do what he could to see me smile, at least now he would than oppose to before cheater cheater pumpkin eater sounds like a fool again huh? yeah I know. You never miss a good thing til its gone. But anywho heart pisser was everything I've always wanted emotionally, maybe physically, most definitely mentally at least in an intellectual way. He made me see things thru this weird ass Beethoven lens that only two people were allowed to understand while they were together making the entire experience super exclusive which resulted in a TON of insiders when others come around and you make that weird eye connection with each other and smile because no one has the slightest idea of what you guys are really talking about. THOSE moments. Deep enough to where your thoughts run into each other to evoke an emotion you really weren't expecting. He became addictive. I fell in love with a complete mystery as to which I will remain as well until. But I just loved the fact that I couldn't understand or predict his next move which is somewhat dangerously beautiful. It's always like living in this ongoing sequel of Sherlock Holmes trying to figure out what he means or feels. Sherlock may be to mature for his actions so let's shoot for Jake and the Neverland pirates, more like an easy undesirable scavenger hunt. Like you want to find it but then again you don't want to find it because you may run into something totally unexpected that you didn't want to see or hear like the alligator that bit Captain Hook's hand off. Sooo there's this bottle of emotion and feelings that I keep in my pants pocket, the laundry room, behind the dryer (unreachable). Because I'd rather have his friendship than to scare him and lose him all together because he just might not feel the way I feel. I wonder is at least one of those songs about me . No he's not an unreachable celebrity. I knew him before the notoriety and we still communicate so I'm not a fan living in this random ass Lalaloopsy land that wishes they could be with Tom Cruise, Trey Songz or Justin Bierber and they know damn well that shit will not happen in a million years (million years is impossible and so is that fantasy) he's actually way more talented than they are, just very hidden which is ok with me. I could care less about him climbing billboards long as I got the chance to tell him how much I really love him. But PRIDE IS A BITCH! And she is very controlling way more than I thought she was. I've actually never had to go after a man not saying I'm some bad ass chick like Nicki Minaj but don't get me wrong I'm a cutie :) But my butt and my face usually helped in that area so they always came my way. Then that would lead to discussions that may have been unattractive to a few like when I began to talk about pedagogical approaches and the desire to perform a dissertation amongst masses instead of a confined, institutional, white walled room, theologians, conspiracy theories and philosophies. These things actually turned some guys completely on and they wanted to marry me when they GREW UP! And some felt completely intimidated to the max and they felt they had to be my servants because they were mentally incapacitated to maintain a conversation of logic. I'm soooooo not that way. I'm more of a heart type of chick. I'll talk to anyone with good conversation which can actually be my downfall when it comes to a man that may be interested and is attempting to over come that minuscule spot of jealousy he really doesn't want to show you until you get home in private because PRIDE IS A BITCH! But one day I'll tell him how much I love him even if he doesn't mean the actual love that he tells me, "LOVE YOU" you mean like friend love or love love or like you care love as in you wish nothing bad happens to me because you would be sad like the same way you would be for someone else sympathy, empathy. Or like I wanna be with you the rest of my life love. JUST DON'T TELL ME THAT MAN! I've been broken, freshly mended meaning some cracks are still there so love is too heavy of a word for me right now. I can take something like.. you're a really cool chick, or you're easy to talk to, you understand me. Love is too deep for you buddy, then you do those things that love does when you're with me. Then when you leave, it all fades away until you come to GA again then it magically appears Magician Bull shit. But I'll get a song in my email, or a text, or a random ass call that's filled with emotions Captain Jake.  BUT WHO KNOWS WHO THE WORDS ARE FOR! Maybe me. Hell I don't know maybe they are for Leigha, Shay, Ashley. I don't know maybe you're telling me about how much you love someone else in these songs Captain Jake. Okay let me go find the pieces to my heart. That could be true. Oh love oh love stop making a fool of me. It's just easier to go work out.