oh-its-suds

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*in a group chat* Tim: lol im dying send help Dick: oof same Steph: me af Duke: rip, what's up man? Damian: Good. Tim: no like im legit dying Tim: some guy stabbed me in a mcdonald's parking lot Tim: the lol is habit Tim: *sends a blurry picture of himself dabbing in the ambulance*

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On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

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I’m watching the bee movie for the first time cause I don’t believe your memes

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yeah i use this pro gamer technique called "hitting every single button frantically with my little raccoon hands until something happens" you probably wouldn't get it it's really advanced

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Bruce's pregnancy announcement

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dannnnnnn mora when i get youuuuuuu

i was NOT prepared this evening for batman EMOTING like this

ghhhhhhahahhhhhh hlep me

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The JL isn’t sure if Superman and Batman are together, and neither is Clark.

For the past several weeks, Bruce has been showing more “affection” towards Clark, or as much affection the Bat could give. He would bring him coffee (somehow a perfect concoction of what he likes), speak reasonably during arguments, and even offered to take him home in the Batmobile. The League had been placing bets on when the two would get together for MONTHS but nothing had been confirmed.

Clark, although appearing calm and acting as if their comments were silly, was going crazy. He would put together boards of theories and photographs trying to decipher whether Bruce had attraction for him, and worse yet, assumed they were dating. He would test in public by dropping a pen in front of Bruce to see if his heart rate would increase at the sight of a certain body part. He would lean romantically close when reaching for something past him, praying to hear his breath change in speed. But nothing happened. It was hopeless, and so he decided to leave the subject alone.

Bruce, absolutely oblivious to all the shenanigans, is happy he and Clark are finally dating after so long. No label, no complications, just nice conversation. He thinks things are going smoothly until he kisses him on the cheek which happens to send the entire building into an uproar. But the only chaos he paid attention to was the newly red hot face of Clark Kent, the king of miscommunication.

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It was as if universally, Diana suffers the same fate of watching these two idiots struggle their way out of their oblivious pining to one another.

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Superman visiting the batcave

Superman: Nice hole you got Bruce, it's very big and clean.

Batman: Eh, it's not that big. Feels a lot more tight now that you came here.

Superman: Hey I'm not that big.

Batman: you're massive Clark.

Superman: you're massive! My hole would be very tight if you come there!

Batman: hmm maybe I should come into your hole.

Superman: Not right now, it's very dirty, I haven't cleaned it in days.

Batman: HA even better.

Jason who was there the whole time

Jason: DO YOU TWO HEAR YOURSELVES???????

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doors exist and someday batman will learn to use them but today is not that day 🙂‍↔️

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The Ranma fandom is on a whole nother level of gay. Yes the main character and his male rival have a slightly homoerotic relationship with tropes such as “love spell” and “people think were dating”, but we all choose to ship the straight main couple because the guy can turn into a girl and something about that feels more gay than an actual gay ship.

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Watching Ranma 1/2. Everyone. We have finally found it. The Gender Fluid.

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Kitty Beam 2.0

no, but as u can see, something far more fantastical happens if u are patient.............

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One of those goofy maid animes, except the viewpoint character isn't the hapless master or mistress of the house, but a regular-ass janitor who ended up on this crew due to a paperwork mixup at the temp agency and can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with her co-workers.