ofsecretsandshadows

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HUFFLEPUFF: “You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.” –Jeannette Rankin

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SLYTHERIN:

”Everybody’s playing the game, but nobody’s rules are the same.” 

–Tim Rice (Florence Vassy: Chess: Nobody’s Side)

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popular text posts + ask memes

❛ i don’t know what i’m doing with my life, but i know i’m doing it wrong ❜ ❛ i am so cute and bitter ❜ ❛ my life is one part ‘wait’ and another part ‘what’ ❜ ❛ my #1 talent is saying stupid things to people and immediately regretting it ❜ ❛ i love sleeping to avoid problems ❜ ❛ i hate myself a lot but i get offended when other people do ❜ ❛ i’m hungrier than the neopet i neglected for nine years ❜ ❛ hit me up if you wanna date a piece of shit ❜ ❛ we need some new and more powerful swears ❜ ❛ i get progressively uglier throughout the day ❜ ❛ i’m so miserable, but i laugh at everything ❜ ❛ i need something that is more than coffee, but less than cocaine ❜ ❛ just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. it’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot. ❜ ❛ 90 out of 10 people agree that math is fucking lame ❜ ❛ if you think i’m ugly now, you should have seen me in 2009 ❜ ❛ 2010 me would literally be terrified of 2016 me and i love it ❜ ❛ i have a rare skin condition called close the fucking blinds ❜ ❛ hey babe, i made you this mixtape for valentines day. i don’t know many love songs, so it’s just uptown funk 18 times in a row. ❜ ❛ there are people who know me in real life who think i’m straight and that’s really funny to me ❜ ❛ i was cursed with expensive taste and a low budget ❜ ❛ yo dude i trusted you wtf the fuck? what the fuck?? what the fuck what the ❜ ❛ open flannel shirts and lingerie are the hottest thing and nobody can convince me otherwise ❜ ❛ i’m the weird dad, wine mom, vodka aunt, and gay emo cousin all in one person ❜ ❛ that awful moment when you wake up ❜ ❛ damn haha i’m going to have to deal with that sooner or later ❜ ❛ are we gonna fucking hold hands tonight or what bitch ❜ ❛ people our age have children what the hell i am a children ❜ ❛ i don’t like your clothes. take them off. ❜ ❛ why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 4 am? ❜ ❛ after i die, i’ll probably still complain ❜ ❛ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel ❜ ❛ if i don’t insult you daily, it means i don’t like you ❜ ❛ do something with your life that would make a 1950s straight white man angry ❜ ❛ i need to get laid… to rest. put me in a coffin. let my soul ascend. ❜ ❛ i’m trying to be a better person, but some people are testing me ❜ ❛ i’m overstressed and underfucked ❜ ❛ i can’t wait to be a piece of shit with a bachelors degree ❜ ❛ my emo phase never went away, it just aged like fine wine ❜ ❛ my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment ❜ ❛ i don’t have time for people who don’t believe in aliens ❜ ❛ the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting ❜ ❛ why do good concert tickets happen to bad people ❜ ❛ i can’t play hard to get i’m already hard to want ❜ ❛ i’m still pissed off about growing up ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully, you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ when i die i want my heart donated to NASA so they can finally see what a black hole looks like up close ❜ ❛ single and ready to take a 20 hour nap ❜ ❛ write ‘nothing is set in stone’ on my grave as both a witty joke and a subtle warning that i will be back ❜ ❛ how do people even put up with me like i can’t even put up with me ❜ ❛ the opening riff to mr. brightside could literally raise me from the dead ❜ ❛ stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical  ❜ ❛ sorry, i’m poor. i can’t afford to pay attention ❜ ❛ aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall ❜ ❛ is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep? ❜ ❛ my neutral expression makes me look like i’m always in a bad mood which is convenient because it’s usually true ❜ ❛ i never run voluntarily so if you ever see me running you should start running too because something is coming ❜

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MY MUSE IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

   Please keep in mind that, however hard my muse may argue something or however confidently they make a statement, they can be wrong. It’s my muse’s opinion, and my muse talking, and their perception is skewed.               Do not feel like everything out of my character’s mouth is the truth, or that I’m godmodding. 

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“You smell good” is in my top 5 for fav compliments

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*making tea at 3AM in my underwear*

*cat meows*

“It is too WITCHCRAFT!”

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me @ me: just talk to them u guys are mutuals

also me @ me: BUT AM I MUTUAL ENOUGH????

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Local mage runs out of mana and just starts hitting shit with her staff

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colinarthurgeoffrey:

give me a broken, self-loathing man who firmly believes no one could ever love him and a strong-willed woman who doesn’t take any of his shit and gradually becomes his light and hope and sun and stars and i assure you i will ship it til my dying breath

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Faerie/Fair Folk Starters

"They say strange things gather at the crossroads."

"Whatever you do, keep your head down and don't look anyone in the eyes."

"Entering a faerie circle is an easy way to get killed."

"Won't you come dance with us?"

"You're a foolish creature...but, a beautiful one. I think I'll keep you for awhile."

"Never insult the fair folk. Talk about them with respect, unless you're just dying to be cursed."

"Come away, oh human child."

"They can be kept at bay with iron, a salt circle, or certain herbs. But you still have to be careful!"

"I've taken you as my bride/groom. You should be happy!"

"Please, tell me you didn't eat anything they gave you!"

"When I was little, one of my friends disappeared after walking into a faerie circle. I never saw them again."

"Have you ever heard of something called "The Wild Hunt?"

"If you manage to impress them, you might be granted a favor."

"I fulfilled my promise; I gave you exactly what you asked for!"

"You were the one who was willing to gamble what you couldn't afford to lose."

"Real faeries aren't anything like Tinkerbell. Real faeries are fucking terrifying."

"It's said that they steal teeth from children."

"I hate to break it to you, but that baby's not yours, or for that matter, human."

"They'll put a glamour on you. You won't be able to speak, or fight back."

"Time passes differently in their world than it does in ours."

"They can't cross running water."

"I told you never to ask them for a favor!"

"You helped me. And now I will help you."

"Once it has you in its thrall, it won't ever let you go."

"What a good mortal. I'm glad I decided to keep you."

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THE LONGER YOU STAY HERE, THE MORE DANGER YOU ARE IN.

a sign I saw in Mt. Rainier National Park during a vacation there when I was 12, ie the phrase I most want on a welcome mat (via glumshoe)

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lifehack: dont like people? Murder

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better ideas for chance encounters than a bar or coffee shop:

a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

our friends that we came here with went off together and now we’re making awkward small talk

i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

sharing a cab together

you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

i tried to get a part time job at this place right by my house but they hired you instead and i have to see you every day when i go there now

blind date!

my roommate is your ex, and your roommate is my ex, and i caught them sleeping together and told you so now we’re pissed off and going on a date to get away from them even though we didnt really know each other before now

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SLYTHERIN: “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Kavanagh: A Tale)

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Reblog if everything you touch turns to angst

That adorable plot we had? Too bad, it’s angsty now. How did we ever get here?