ofhxrley - Tumblr blog

[ofhxrley]

[ Yooooo I know I abandoned this blog for literally months, but I’m suddenly feeling the muse to try it again. Anybody still around??? ]

[ofhxrley]

[ Also, hop in my DMs if u wanna plot!! 💖]

[ofhxrley]

random things my professors have said (starters)

Just a bunch of random quotes from my professors during my first semester of college. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !

“The heart is a dramatic organ. The bowels are also pretty dramatic.”

“I don’t remember why I put that picture of a water slide there.”

“By that time, you’ll have figured out my brain. I haven’t yet.”

“Woah, you have big shoes.”

“Zero is hero.”

“Make sure you don’t take my picture. I’m copyrighted.”

“We don’t really know what it’s like to be a rat or a pigeon.”

“Hello. Welcome to the planet.”

“I set you up.”

“You wouldn’t be able to tell if your toe fell off in the middle of the night.”

“I know you are a millionaire. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“You don’t have a clue.”

“I’ve taught you to see the fun in pain.”

“Get rid of the dog mask.”

“I actually think nasty things when I smile.”

“I know you don’t want to see me. I don’t want to see you too.”

“I’m just making stuff up.”

“The other day, someone called me nurturing. I was like, ‘you’re ruining my reputation’!”

“I said the exam is NEXT Thursday. Don’t scare people.”

“I wasn’t drunk, but I was acting like it.”

“Are you glaring at me?”

“I profoundly believe that humans are absurd creatures.”

“It’s my job to embarrass you.”

“When I was young–I’m still young, right?”

“Uh oh. [grunt] I’m okay.”

“If you solve this, I’ll buy you lunch.”

“I’m going to tell you a story about farts.”

“I know a lot about corn.”

“Wow, you are super. *high fives*”

“I didn’t do that!”

“I saw you walking past the library, and you looked as though you were lost in thought.”

“I’m glad to see that you’ve decided to stay.”

“In the game, you can die many times. In life, you can die one time.”

“This is just dessert. There’s a banquet coming.”

“What do you call it? A ‘snake’, right?”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“Impossible means ‘I am possible’.”

“You’re completely aroused.”

“There’s a stop sign. You have to stop.”

“I like sleep.”

“No one likes to feel pain. Actually–never mind, I don’t want to ask.”

“Do I sound cynical? I’m trying to be nice.”

“Dude, you wanna compete with Jimmy Hendrix? Fuck you.”

“I don’t want to talk to most people. It’s not a gender thing, please just go away.”

“We’re making tortillas now.”

“I’m not very nice.”

“Be careful, somebody might beat you up.”

“I can say nice things, but if you remind me, I’ll deny it.”

“The world’s fucked.”

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・°☆.- drag race starter/ask memes・°☆.。

"My alter ego is a stripper."

"I'm not polished, I'm polish remover."

"I don't get cute; I get drop dead gorgeous."

"These legs are everything!"

"Emotions are for ugly people."

"I cannot tolerate a heel that is less than 5 inches."

"If you can't hide it just throw some fucking glitter on it."

"I'm too punk to wash my tights."

"I wouldn't wear it... but for you it's cute."

"Thank god for all this body."

"Pain is beauty, and I'm the prettiest."

"If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?"

"My eyebrows aren't that oatmeal-y..."

"It doesn't matter where you come from, what color you are, what shape you are, be the best that you can be."

"Water off a duck's back."

"May the best woman win."

"You are all fucking welcome."

"We get to choose our family."

"Do I have something on my face?"

"Please stop immediately."

"I don't wanna hear that shit!"

"Back rolls?"

"Sorry bout it."

"Maybe I'll go on the Biggest Loser and lose lots of weight and find a nice man."

"You can find yourself a nice man looking just like that."

"Sit down and shut the fuck up, bitch!"

"I don't see you walking children in nature."

"I woke up a long time ago, god dammit."

"I like long walks, big dicks, and fried chicken."

"Don't get bitter, just get better."

"I get it. I'm a bitch."

"I'll have what she's having."

"Well if you do finally get exposed you better have something to show."

"Thank you gay god!"

"Did somebody order a hooker?"

"Hashtag, too much."

"Your tone seems very pointed right now."

"I'm a libra."

"Get a grip, get a life, and get over it."

"You'll never be glamour."

"I don't take anything personally, except most things."

"I am sweating like a hooker in church."

"Take a fucking shower."

"I mean I'm impressed...but not that impressed..."

"Alright public school, calm down."

"You're so full of shit, the toilet's jealous."

"At the gym, I'm like a ninja. You'll never see me there."

"Call me young, call me illiterate or whatever."

"The best revenge is just to do better."

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!"

"Did you find that dress for sale? Half off? 75% off? Did it keep going down? Did you have a coupon?"

"Go choke on a dick."

"I look spooky but I'm really nice."

"Not today, Satan. Not today."

"Party!"

"I'm not actually that young. I'm just ignorant."

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☭ 💖 UNHhhh Sentence Meme (part one) 💖 ☭

Hi, I’m [description of a basic white woman] Trixie Mattel. / And I’m [bizarre, borderline ungodly concept] Katya. / And welcome to UNNhhh, the show where we talk about whatever we want! Because it’s our show! And not yours.

A sentence meme for the bizarre, impossible to decipher ramblings of legend, icon, star Trixie Mattel and bisexual Russian hooker, Katya. Change pronouns/phrasing/tense/etc as needed! Except the white lady names like Brenda, you’ll hurt my feelings if you do.

“I’m just looking for a guy who’s emotionally available and not filled with bees.”

“I relish the opportunity to be ooky-spooky.”

“She’s a little bit country, I’m a little bit…garbage.”

“Do you believe in Bloody Mary? Do you wanna do it right now?”

“The boogeyman is not real, the real boogeyman is what? Poverty.”

“She was sexy, dangerous and gross.”

“Suck my dark, Dracula dick.”

“Nobody’s listening to you complain, Brenda, shut the fuck up.”

“You didn’t make it this far in life without selling something.”

“Earth is like a house party that aliens are invited to and they commit to going, but then when that night comes they’re like, ‘I don’t know, I kinda just wanna stay in and bingewatch The Crown’…”

“I’m grateful for two things: violence…and hair care.”

“Oh honey, Thanksgiving? Oh honey, thanks-living!”

“Everyday’s Halloween if you believe it in your heart.”

“I feel like I just blacked out and woke up in a turkey suit.”

“How can I ever have nightmares when I look like this?”

“Oh, y’all wanted a twist?”

“Body shaming? No problem. Can’t shame me if I don’t…have a body.”

“Oh my god, I wanna be Regan from The Exorcist! Uh…Hakuna Matata..!”

“Oh my god, you look like someone’s mom who isn’t gonna remarry.”

“Y’know what, I’m gonna walk out but I will be back in fifteen minutes!”

“One time I ate marijuana candy and fully saw Jesus’ eyes.”

“Because you don’t have a secret if you hide it really, really well.”

“Wizard pubes don’t really do well on Instagram.”

“Oh my god, wow, you take care of yourself? Do you want a fucking puppy and a reward?”

“Sure, she was raised in Florida but that’s not her fault.”

“You’re just a big bowl if noodles in the shape of a woman/man.”

“My wheeze aged ten years.”

“See, your face looks younger today so your voice had to pick up the slack and went full hag.”

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Tell my muse someone they loved died as an April Fools joke!

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Send me "April Fools!" For my muses reaction to yours dumping a bucket of water on their head

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[ I... lowkey wanna make a new blog with a new muse but lemme see if I can even handle tumblr rp’ing anymore lmao who’s still here??? ]

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And I’ll never, never do it again.

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Remember. Out there, there is no Regime. Not anymore. So we do. Not. Kill.

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Batman: Assault on Arkham + Harley Quinn

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We’re not going to be friends.

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Gotham City Sirens by Dustin Nguyen

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