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miles “who’s morales” morales’s biggest weakness is the cover story

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STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

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growing up as an imaginative single child, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved creating elaborate drama-filled storylines for them and I could keep at it for hours. there was one problem. I had like 15 thrift store Barbies and no Kens. I only had one Barbie-sized male doll and it was a collectible Elvis Presley doll and he was my favorite doll. I always did the Elvis voice when I was playing him but he had no relation to Elvis Presley otherwise. anyway, he had some crazy days. trapped on a scary planet where he is the only man in the world and half of the women there hate him. in a massive car accident and stranded in the woods with a girlfriend who had broken her foot and a crazy ex girlfriend who had stalked them there. kidnapped by Athena (one of my Barbie sized dolls was Athena, like, the goddess) and held captive by her while trying to go home to his 7 situationships. all of this happening to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Elvis but is otherwise the quintessential everyman.

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Well fucks? Get to it!

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me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

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Ozai is so pathetic, like that “take his bending away haha he’s harmless now” trick would never have worked on Zuko, if you took his bending away he’d just grab his swords and come at you twice as hard, Azula doesn’t have swords or anything but she’s pretty good at hand to hand and amazing at talking her way out of problems, Iroh bust himself out of prison with no bending at all, meanwhile Ozai? Gets his bending taken away and then just collapses, doesn’t even try anymore, then just sits in prison and tries to get into Zuko’s head some more, he could have trained up and tried to break out too! But no! Bet he can’t break steel bars with his bare hands. Bet he can’t kick a steel lever in two. Bet he can’t even do a flip.

Also we never really see him do any really impressive firebending apart from when he has magic comet power, I guesss he shoots some lightning at Zuko, but that’s it and Azula is still better at the lightning thing. Azula has blue flames. Zuko can do firebreakdancing and bend with his swords. Does Ozai, who is not 14 years old, have blue flames? No he doesn’t.

He didn’t even do his coup himself, Ursa had to kill Azulon for him! Could have just challenged Iroh to an Agni Kai for the throne but he didn’t bc he knew he’d lose.

And then he only ruled for like 6 years! He lost a war that had been going on for 100 years bc of a bunch of kids.

Loserlord indeed

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This is the funniest headline because they used his name like we all know him😭

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You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

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yonkers is such a deeply unserious name for a place. i bet nobody even dies there

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but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

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Evil Eddie 😈

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god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

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you don’t gotta tell me to boycott the Nintendo prices by not buying bc i don’t have the money to get them anyways

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We all making grandpa cry btw

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In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.