oddlyevilomens - Tumblr blog

[oddlyevilomens]

fake ass pathetic man liker i bet you dont even fantasize about pushing him down stairs and making him cry

[oddlyevilomens]

Your honor my client's love language is money laundering

[oddlyevilomens]

Well kids when a captain and a ship love each other very much sometimes they choose to express it physically and go down together

[oddlyevilomens]

some beetles cant fly but they dont mind. they are more armored than agile and in certain situations this is desirable

[oddlyevilomens]

toxic codependent familial dynamics this. toxic codependent romances that. what about toxic codependent coworkers. i can’t do my job without this guy here or i’ll kill myself.

[oddlyevilomens]

"preheat"? dude i dont even HEAT my oven. thats right. im cooking my shit coldstyle. im stretching the definition of "cooking" far beyond its ultimate tensile strength. my chicken breasts are the most gorgeous pink color you've ever seen. they look like rosebuds on the very cusp of blooming. they look like the dawn when you're in love. hospital.

[oddlyevilomens]

apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB

apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally

[oddlyevilomens]

toxic boyfriend who says "manip-ya later!!!" as hes leaving the house to go cheat on you

[oddlyevilomens]

"big if true" and "many are saying this" are like sisters

[oddlyevilomens]

couldn't find my giant elephant until I scrolled a few z levels up over the paddock

I just

wanna understand how the fuck this happened

[oddlyevilomens]

via indiarosecrawford

Frog Paints a Water Lily Pond 🪷🎨🐸

𝑓ₒᵣ ⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 ₐ𝑛𝑑 𝑐ₒ𝑡𝑡ₐ𝑔ₑ

[oddlyevilomens]

i love when sibling characters are fucked up from the same event but in opposite ways

[oddlyevilomens]

seconds before all hell breaks loose in the attic

and one more for the road!

[oddlyevilomens]

At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?

[oddlyevilomens]

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

[oddlyevilomens]

*reels it in* aw yea this fish must be like 12 pounds. i cant wait to catch another one *feels around in my empty worm can* hmm *looks at my buddy steve napping with his hat over his eyes and his penis hanging out in the sun* *notices his penis* *notices the shape of it* *looks at my empty can that used to have worms in it* *looks back at his penis* *looks at him sleeping* *looks at the hook on my line* *looks back at his penis*

[oddlyevilomens]

i think it's really really Really funny when there's a human x nonhuman/species difference couple and the majority of other humans are accepting and maybe even envious about it but the nonhuman side are the disapproving ones who are like you could have settled down with a nice normal partner from your own species but nooooooo you just HAD to indulge your stupid little fetish 🙄