oddent

[oddent]

lol i felt that no worries, well whenever you get the chance, could you write some angst for jisung? where reader has self isolation issues and jisung has bad anxiety so he overthinks and enters a panic attack one day but reader genuinely can’t bring themselves to care for him. hurt/comfort basically. maybe another member helping them go through their individual episodes and then they soothe each other in the aftermath? — 🌵

Barely there - Han Jisung x Male Reader

A/n: Thank you for the request! Honestly I didn't know where to go with this, and I don't know if this lived up to your expectations. I really do suck at writing comforting stuff, so I wouldn't be surprised if this is a failure. Anyways, I hope you enjoy <3 taglist: @forever-atiny warnings: swearing, mentions of panic attack, self isolation, reader is not in a good headspace and self deprecates a lot throughout this, Minho is a bit mean in this since he doesn't know about reader's self isolating tendencies, anxiety and overthinking in general from both jisung and reader.

"What do you want, Hyunjin?"

"Hyung…it's Jisung. He's having a panic attack and just- please come over. He needs you."

Your heart drops. But you can't get up from your studio chair. You've been too absorbed in work, but your boyfriend should come first right? You zone out for a while, only to be broken out of it by Hyunjin.

"Hyung!"

"Right. Jisung. Can you just take care of him? I'm busy."

Sure, you felt horrible for saying that, but you couldn't go in there and comfort him, pretending that everything is fine when you're sure you're the reason he's having a panic attack in the first place. You hang up immediately after saying the words which felt like venom on your tongue, not wanting to hear what Hyunjin thinks of you now. If he even looks up to you anymore. The studio and your laptop makes the weight of human interaction go away. You don't have to go out and "have fun" if you're busy working. You feel bad. You do. But you've been avoiding everyone. Eating food later or earlier so you don't have to see your members. Dance practices consisted of you laser focused on the choreography alone, not taking part in the usual jokes and laughter which accompanied them.

The thought of Jisung flooded your mind. You couldn't bear the thought of him suffering like that. Why does such a pure soul have to suffer like this? What did he do to deserve you who couldn't even give him a damn hug when he needs it?

"Fuck."

That's the only word you said. You could swear you felt your eyes getting teary, but you cursed every god out there when the tears didn't come out. You can't cry. You wanted to, but you shouldn't. You didn't deserve to.

You sat in there, losing track of time. Your stomach growled. Was it time to eat yet? The clock struck five. The members would've eaten their lunch before 5pm, so you go downstairs. You didn't expect to see Minho, looking as if he was ready to burn you alive.

"What's wrong with you huh?? When did a fucking song become more important than Jisung?"

It would've been better if Minho just punched you in the face. Obviously, Jisung was way more important to you than work, but you couldn't explain why you wanted to stay away. Quit all this idol business and go live in a sparsely populated village.

"Minho. I just..I don't know okay? He's more important, yes. But I-"

"You couldn't even comfort him? The poor boy was having a panic attack!"

You watched Minho's disapproving eyes in silence which you weren't sure if you chose or not. That's what people should be like. Fierce and protective over the people they love. Not some asshole who avoids everyone the second they feel a negative emotion.

"Honestly, he should just break up with you."

"He should." You didn't even realise what you said until you saw Minho's expression. His fists clenched at his sides and he opened his mouth to speak, only to shut it and walk away. You wouldn't be too surprised if what he was about to say would absolutely destroy even the little will you had to stay at the moment. You wanted to hold Jisung, you wanted to talk to him so bad. But you felt undeserving. You just agreed when Minho said Jisung should break up with you. You wanted to leave a letter and move away. Would they be happier? It would be easier for sure without having to deal with such an on and off person.

As the night came, Jisung found himself outside. Talking to the moon as they say. The thoughts were spiraling in his head. "Does he not want me anymore?"

He felt like he was too hard to deal with. Panic attacks, anxiety, his constant clinginess. Minho hasn't told him about what you said. Maybe he calmed down. Jisung felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and it was you. You, with a multitude of emotions in your eyes. Guilt, regret, fear, love, pain, hesitation. Even you could name only this many.

"Sungie..I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that first off. I was just feeling overwhelmed with everything and I tried to deal with it, but I couldn't. I felt so undeserving of you and I just thought you deserve better. But I never thought I'd be horrible enough to not be there for you when you had a panic attack. If you want to leave me over this, I totally get-"

"Mn..don't..don't say that. I get it, okay? But I just…I needed you. And you weren't there. It hurt, Mnie..it hurt a lot. I love you so much but it just hurts so fucking much when you disappear out of nowhere. Like we'll be just fine one day and the next, you don't even look at me. And I get that I'm hard to deal with and all, but when you do this, I feel like more of a burden than I already am."

"Hey…you're not a burden, Sungie.." You sit down beside him and pull him closer, taking both his hands in yours. "I know that the way I act sometimes can make you feel like that, but I promise you, I do not think of you as a burden." Your heart ached seeing him so desperately hold back tears. You held his face in your hands and scooted even closer to him. "I'll change. I promise you I will. I'll be there for you more and I'll talk to you instead of isolating myself."

"Promise?"

He couldn't help but smile when you interlocked your pinkies as a response. "I promise."

[oddent]

MIND ME | HC

txt ot5 (separately) x gn!reader

reacting to reader with dark/trauma humor + implied past suicidal tendencies + implied past trauma + coping with humor + therapy sessions + idol au! + implied eating disorders

a/n: literally fair warning, if you can’t handle it, move on. this is fiction but with real life tendencies.

—HUENING KAI

one day you had to do your therapy session over the phone due to your busy schedule. kai had come in to sit with you as your session was close to an end. the basic “see you next time, call me if you need to chat or have questions” thing goes on and then you hang up.

he’s comfortable in your bed, you crawl in to cuddle with him.

“anything new?” he asks, he’s always so caring, so tender.

“nah.” then you pause, smiling.

“what is it?” he asks, “why are you smiling?”

you shake your head, “just remembered this joke i made to my therapist.”

“a joke?” he asks, curious.

you watch him, smiling at the mess of his hair. “so like, i use to self harm-“ his eyes widen a bit, yet he quickly fixes his expression, “-and so she asked if i still do it and i joked and said ‘no i have alcohol now’…” you sigh, “she didn’t laugh.”

and you bust out laughing when kai purses his lips, unsure if he should cry or find it funny either.

“y/n!”

“kai! i don’t drink! be for real!” you cackle as your cuddle him, easing his worries.

—CHOI BEOMGYU

“y/n, do you want to stay with me and keep practicing?”

“what? you’re saying i suck and need to keep practicing?”

beomgyu gasps, “no! what? i just- well the step we keep messing up! we should practice it!”

“so you’re saying i’m bad at it and you’re covering it by saying we both do? great, another thing i’m bad at.”

“what’s the other thing you’re supposedly bad at!” he argues, smiling at you.

“oh it’s a long list,” you say with a grin.

“as if.”

“no for real,” you pick up your water bottle, back facing his, “killing myself is number one. apparently i’m bad at it.” you shake your head before pausing.

“what?”

“i’m joking,” you say quickly, seeing the worry in his eyes. “beomgyu.”

“ah…” he just watches you, messing with his water bottle. “am i allowed to laugh when you joke like that?”

“if you want, i don’t care. would be preferable.” you pat his back, “let’s practice yeah?”

—KANG TAEHYUN

you were watching people getting their bones popped. it’s crazy what areas can be popped to soothe the body. yet you and taehyun were cringing and laughing.

“oh- ah!” taehyun flinches, watching how they popped someone’s neck.

“dude maybe i should go get my neck snapped.”

“don’t you mean popped?” he asks, smiling at your silliness.

you shake your head, “no. i mean snapped.”

taehyun rolls his eyes, “you wanna die or something?”

“always have.” and you get a smack on the arm, to which you laugh at. he knows your joking, and that makes you feel warm.

—CHOI SOOBIN

literally you love food. sadly the industry makes you develop a decently bad relationship with it sometimes. so, one day you’re eating sweet bread and go- “shit, i’m supposed to be on a diet for our comeback.”

“huh? why?” soobin frowns. “wait, really?”

“it’s okay, i’ll just starve until then, it’ll be like this never happened.”

“y/n, what?”

you glance at him while chewing, “what?”

“why the hell would you starve?” he eyes you, “wait, what does your diet consist of then?”

“coffee and antidepressants.” you joke.

“funny.”

“i know.”

—CHOI YEONJUN

it’s a task. literally, all of you are on a reality show and you have to fill out a questionnaire or something. you’re thinking on this question.

“what’s wrong?” yeonjun asks you while beomgyu and soobin make ruckus about what their answers are.

“i’m not sure what to put.”

“y/n, it’s basic questions.”

“that’s what my therapist said and then i was diagnosed a bunch of stuff.”

“the question is literally what’s your favorite childhood memory?”

“so about that, i don’t remember cus apparently — fun fact, when you experience some sort of trauma as a kid your mind blocks any memory during that age and time. i don’t remember shit,” you whisper. “what am i supposed to put? that my mom beat me with a spoon until i finished my homework?”

he stares at you, unsure what to do with that bomb drop. he knows you cope with humor, hence, “steal one of mine then.”

“bet.”

[oddent]

FLUSH MY HEART | EN-

༘۠ heesung, jay, jake, sunghoon x m!reader

༘۠ omegaverse! au + nsfw + mating cycles + alpha! reader + breeding kink + crying

༘۠ a/n: chose to not sleep for this.

heesung overheats a lot, his body is feverish and he’s constantly aching to be knotted

he’s more into a little pain, bite him, mark him, bruise him, it takes his mind off his hot skin

he LOVES it when you coax him to take your knot

make him scent drunk on your pheromones

his head is thrown back, eyes blank from bliss. his skin is flushed with a red hue, skin slick from sweat and other fluids. his back is arched and his thighs twitch around your hips.

“so pretty,” you say with a raspy voice, “my omega looks so pretty. don’t you baby?” you take a hand and press it on the buldge in his stomach. he lets out a choked noise, “so pretty all stuffed with alpha’s seed. you can take more, right baby?”

“yes, yes,” he sighs out as you pop your knot.

he smiles lazily as you pepper kisses along his scent gland.

he also coax you into popping a knot

you two have mutual dominance shared, but absolutely you are the one that is in control 99% of the time

also— he loves it more when you bathe him between the heat rounds. and if you pop a knot in him and scent him back up after it he’ll fall in love all over again

overwhelm him. don’t show him any mercy. make his omega feel more than wanted.

mark him up, shove him into the sheets.

he’s your cum dump. breed him.

“you want my pups?” you grunt as you slam your hips into the flush of his ass, your hand is gripping his head and shoving it into the sheets. “wanna be round and full? hm?”

“alpha-“ he moans, “m’good, good to mother your pups. please, please-“

cum and slick would drip down his thighs, pooling at his knees. he likes it from the back, so this position is one he could be in for hours as long as your knot him over and over. fill him up but he’ll never be satisfied.

you find yourself getting lost in your own alpha desires when he’s in heat

his omega is very convincing, even when you two have spoken about not having pups (yet)

still, you mount him on the bed, on the floor, in the sink. he loves that.

make his bones ache and his limbs feel numb. make him feel is for weeks after his heat is over.

he wants more action than talk during his heat.

still, he makes sure to take care of you too. his omega is extremely nurturing.

a silent but heated cycle, mhm.

not all omegas need to be fucked through their heat. jake isn’t exactly one of those, but he does prefer less fucking.

he needs a knot occasionally

but those occasional moments are where he needs you balls deep and have his hole overflowing with your cum

he’s whiney. even when you’re just running your hand through his hair he’s sensitive

he likes being scented, wants your scent all over him.

“smell so good,” you’d grumble into his neck, “but you smell better with me all over you.”

“mmn,” he hums.

your hand roams down, finger prodding at his entrance. his breath hitches, eyes closed in bliss. you always manage to know when to excite him, when his body needs a knot for certain.

“mnnn,” he shakes his head when you shove a third finger. “no hands alpha,” he has an arm around your neck as the other tries to push your hand out.

“want my dick instead?” you grin.

he nods, eyeing you like an innocent pup. you grin wickedly.

literally destroy him before popping a knot. make him beg for it. he loves knowing his alpha wants him.

he’s a really whiney person during his heat

he honestly has a lot of cramps, can barely move throughout them

he LOVES it when your hands rub his stomach while cuddling

he needs a knot occasionally

he DOES NOT like it when you’re brute with him, he needs tender love

loves having you inside while cuddling, knot or not, he needs you balls deep, it helps with the cramps

“y/n…” he mumbles, moving around in your arms. “alpha…”

“yes baby?” you look at him.

“want a knot…” he’d mumble into your neck, shy but desperate.

you’d smile tenderly at him, moving your hips. you sometimes do get too ahead of yourself and overwhelm him with your desire to ruin him. it’s very rare he’d want that.

“alpha, no,” he’d whine when you grip his hips too hard. he’d fidget and move.

“sorry baby, my omega just feels so good.”

talk him through it, he’s a bit of a crier but it’s only because he loves having his alpha be gentle (and he’d obviously cry when you’re not gentle).

[oddent]

DO ME BETTER | SKZ

༘۠ minho & hyunjin (seperate) x gn!reader

༘۠ angst + light fluff + insecurity + commitment issues + crying + 9thmember!reader + breakups + producer!reader

༘۠ a/n: implied male reader but it’s still gender neutral.

minho watches you as you come inside the bedroom. he’s missed you all day, it was his day off yet you were cooped up in the studio with jisung all day. it was your day off too. yet you chose to work.

he notices how you’re awfully quiet. had you not seen that he was in your room?

“ah, did you eat what i took you?” minho asks when you start changing into something to sleep in.

you turn to look at him over your shoulder. he’s bewildered at how cold your eyes seem, no— you’re tired. duh. you didn’t look at him like that when he dropped the food off earlier, right? he thinks. remembering back— you didn’t look at him that time, you were too immersed in the beats you and jisung were making. you barely acknowledged him. your “love you, be safe back to the dorm” felt normal, so he had given it no thought. or… did you sound disinterested?

“yeah,” you say dryly, putting your dirty clothes in your basket.

“oh, okay,” he says. he questions the heaviness in his heart.

what’s going on? is he really upset for your cold tone? your cold shoulder? everyone has bad days, maybe the managers said something that upset you? or jyp? he tries not to think about it, just stares at your back as you sleep. he was hoping you’d cuddle him, that always helps you when you’re in a bad mood.

is he… not reliable anymore?

“y/n?” he asks softly, hoping you’d be awake.

you are. you just can’t bring yourself to talk to him, to see him… to acknowledge him. you don’t know why and that’s what hurts. you screw your eyes shut when you feel his finger trace a soft line on your back. that cute action that reminds you of a cat messing with you when you’re sleeping isn’t warming your cold heart. it upsets you so.

seeing how you don’t react, minho pulls his hand back. he hugs the plushie he had gifted you for your anniversary, it’s a white goofy f/c cat that reminded him of you. you didn’t kick him out of your room, so maybe he’s just overthinking.

yeah… it has to be that.

yet, when morning comes and he’s not greeted by a good morning kiss…

“kiss,” he demands.

you stare at him, not even glancing down at his lips or anything, just blankly staring at him. the atmosphere is weird, it’s… not loving. he purses his lips, understanding that he will not be getting a kiss. what’s happening? he sits up, your eyes go back to your phone.

“yah,” he snatches the device away and shoves it under his thigh. you glare at him, “did i do something?” he asks, upset, “what’s going on?”

there, he asked it.

“the hell are you talking about, minho?” you move about and try to take your phone back, but your shoved back. “give me my phone back.”

he glares at you, trying to read you.

“my phone, now.”

he takes your phone out from beneath him, but instead of giving it back, he unlocks it and goes through it. you try to take it back, but he moves around and constantly blocks you from doing so. you have nothing to hide. you wouldn’t do him dirty like that. app after app, minho finds nothing. yet, why does that make him feel worse?

“give me that,” you huff when you finally snatch it out of his hands.

he stares at his empty hands before looking at you. he… he doesn’t know how to feel.

“l/n y/n…. what the fuck?” he asks, glaring at you.

you give him a look. minho’s hair is still a mess, the sleep is still evident in his features. he looks silly… but why can’t you adore it right now?

“i think we should break up.”

“….what?”

after days of feeling nothing but cold heaviness, your heart feels crushed. minho is someone who always holds a stern expression. minho doesn’t like to worry others with his feelings. sure, he’s shown more of his softer sides to the group, but you’ve seen him anxious, sad and insecure.

but heartbroken? it was something you never wanted to see from him, much less cause it.

yet here you are, dropping the words you’ve prayed you’d never utter.

minho’s staring at you. his eyes flicker across your face. you notice the way he grips the sheets. the way his lips twitch. you could almost hear the broken pieces of his heart pump like crazy for survival.

“eh- what are you talking about?” his voice cracks.

goodness, what are you doing?

“you love me. what are you saying?” he says, eyes wide and still flickering between your eyes and lips and the room.

he wants to cry. he’s confused. you know him too well.

“i don’t…” you inhale when his eyes still on something in the bed. maybe the plushie? “i don’t know… minho… i just feel so… blank. i… can’t even bother with myself… how can i bother with you? i hate that… that you’ve felt like a burden.”

“oh…” a burden? had he done something? “when… did you start feeling like this?”

you sigh, unsure. it’s embarrassing. “i… don’t know actually. suddenly we don’t feel compatible.”

he blinks, finally staring at you again. he realizes how you’ve suddenly pulled back, you started working more, selling beats and putting everything before him. at some point he got too bored of being in the studio with you all day. you’d abandon him in the dorms, you’d listen less to what he has to say.

“try. please,” he begs.

you stare at the wall across from you. you have posters mounted up, some vinyl cases, a picture of him and you on your anniversary outing. his body on top of you feels surreal. he’s warm… your not that cold anymore.

“i am trying, but i don’t know why it’s not working. i don’t know— maybe i’m broken in more ways than one.”

he’s crying. something is soaking up your shirt. you know it’s his tears.

“minho…”

his sadness always turns to anger. “you know what this is? my love for you and your love for me are different because of you. i’d give you my life without you asking, but you wouldn’t even give me a moment of your time because your time is too precious to waste on me.”

you look at his glassy eyes. his nose is red and his weight on your lap is more unbearable by the second.

“you said you’d never do that.”

ah…. you did.

you hug him, tight and with a slight tremble. you screw your eyes shut. you love him, you know you do. you’re just having a mental block. it has to be that.

“okay baby…. i’m sorry…” you whisper.

and he clings to you like his life depends on it.

you click your tongue in annoyance, “ugh, hold on, hyunjin is all up on me.” you glare up at the blonde, who stares at you with surprise.

he’s already insecure of whether people like him for who he is or for his looks. you’ve always helped him with his insecurities. he doesn’t get upset when you’re too deep in your video games, but lately he’s been out modeling and with a hectic schedule. he misses you. you always let him lay on you or sit on your lap while playing but now that he tried, you got aggravated.

sometimes you glare at him playfully, but today it doesn’t feel like that.

“um, i’ll be on your bed,” he says, upset that you practically sighed and went back to your video game without responding.

and he feels alone again. even in your room, he feels unseen. all week he’d been out modeling and socializing, it’s draining. he’s not a very social person, he tries of course, you always push him to take chances but he feels so drained. he wanted to be with you, in your arms.

everyone sees him for his looks. everyone talks to him for his skills. yet, you always talk to him about the most randomest things. you make him feel important in ways the world doesn’t. it’s the second day he’s been back from his busy schedule. yesterday you were at the studio all day, didn’t even know he had returned.

he had expected you to get off early to come see him but you didn’t. he’s already upset at that, of course he knew you were busy even on your days off. you’re a workaholic.

yet, not even a text? he and felix went to check up on you and chan in the evening. maybe he’s overthinking, maybe he’s being dramatic — but you didn’t even seem happy to have seen him. you hugged him, sure. you let him pepper your face with kisses, sure. but… he doesn’t remember feeling that warmth of being with you again after so long.

“are you going to sleep here?” you ask.

he looks away from his phone. he was staring at a random video, not realizing how much time had passed.

“do you want me to leave?” he asks as he sits up to look at you.

“uh, yeah?” you’re not looking at him.

he watches you move around, turning off your pc and setting your controls in their designated place.

“oh… uh, okay?” he collects his blanket and his phone. “um…. baby are you okay?” he asks, still sitting on your bed.

you sigh, glancing at him over your shoulder. “yeah, why?”

he fidgets, “you kinda… haven’t really spent time with me since i came back.”

“just figured you wanted your space from being surrounded by so many people.”

he frowns, “well, yeah but… i mean not you guys and especially not you… i love you.”

there’s sadness in his tone, you can hear it. you genuinely can’t remember when you thought so bitterly of his presence. is it because everyone acknowledges his talents? his skills? is it because suddenly he started outshining you? what is it? why do you feel so bitter?

“right, well,” you shrug, walking over to your bed. “we should go to sleep, i think we have a meeting with the managers tomorrow evening.”

hyunjin hesitates before getting up. “ah… okay…” he stares at you, as you crawl into bed. “good night.”

“mm, good night.”

“love you.”

“mhm, see you tomorrow.”

hyunjin isn’t someone who gets angry over this. sure he playfully gets upset and puts up a tantrum but the atmosphere is not one to do so. he suddenly sees how uninterested you are of him. has he done something?

“so, is this what we are now? two people who can’t say ‘i love you’ to each other?” he asks, glaring at you. he’s not mad, why does he sound mad? why did he say it like that?

“sorry,” you say, sounding as genuine as you possibly can. “i love you baby, good night.”

he isn’t satisfied with that, but seeing as you genuinely look like you’re going to sleep, he takes it. he goes to his room and sleeps with a heavy heart. he had hoped to be cuddled up with you. to talk about anything and everything. the next day you’re the same, he doesn’t notice it, because you and 3RACHA are hooked up with studio work.

he mentions it. over text. he’s not a coward, but this time he was scared to even see the expression on your face in case what he’s thinking is true. yet, you lie. what would he know? it’s over text. you calm him down, shower him with reassurance and even go as far as saying you’ll take takeout to eat while watching his favorite show.

it works. he doesn’t suspect a thing. you cuddle up to him and as much as that envy and bitterness is still evident, you try. you try to love him and bring out that genuine love you’ve always had for him. yet, you feel horrible. why can’t you love him like before? why does he have to be so loved by everyone else?

you’re back to square one the next day.

and he notices the pattern eventually.

“i can't do this. i can't be everything to you one minute, then nothing to you the next." he says early in the morning one day.

everyone is already out and in the van, you and him had stayed back because you two chose to sleep in for one more minute. you’re running late if you both don’t leave that door now. yet, you feel like you’re late. late in doing what you’ve had pending for days.

“then let’s breakup.” you say coldly.

he grips his bag strap, staring at you under his bucket hat. “i- i didn’t say it for us to breakup over, i just- i want to understand what’s going on, y/n.”

you side eye him before continuing to shove your things in your bag. “with the way you said it, i thought you’re over us.”

“no, i—“ hyunjin looks around, “i’m just- did i do something? did something happen? why are you suddenly weird to me? you don’t say i love you unless i point it out. you clearly ignore my existence some days and then you’re all over me when i point it out.”

“well maybe you’re overthinking-“

“i’m not! i know what i feel. what i see. you don’t… y/n be honest… what’s going on?”

you take a deep breath, glaring at your bag for a hard minute. “i feel like i’m not enough for you.” you say, “you’re too important. you’re too popular. shit, the troy sivan was eye fucking you. we aren’t the same.”

hyunjin gapes at you, too speechless to even get out a noise.

“you’re not even here as much. you’re at the peek of your career, almost everyone here is! all i got for me is my producing skills. and no. i’m not jealous, i just don’t think you and me have anything in common anymore.”

“i… you…” hyunjin swallows, feeling horrible at the lump in his throat. “you’re still y/n… i’m still me… nothing has changed-“

“what a fucking lie, you know it.” you grit, glaring at him. “we have nothing anymore, nothing but group title, nothing but teamwork.” you pause when you see the tears in his eyes. you take a step back, realizing this isn’t what you can deal with anymore. not as a partner. “i’ll love you, hyunjin…. just not like before. all i can offer you is our music career and mutual affection. nothing more-“

“hey, what’s going on? you two okay?” chan asks, watching you as he walks through the door. “we have a busy day.” he pauses when he sees the redness in hyunjin’s eyes and in your ears. “is… are you two fighting?”

“not anymore,” hyunjin says, swallowing and walking past you.

you look away from chan’s questioning eyes. you feel horrible now that the actuality is weighing down on your shoulders. yet, there was nothing more to do. you only feel bad because you could’ve done better. you only feel bad because you let it get this far.

but you both know that there was love. and those memories were genuinely beautiful.

[oddent]

[ 6:00 PM ] power bottom chan x m!reader

his hips move at an agonizingly slow pace, your breathing is ragged and your eyes focus on his plump lips. he’s panting and a lazy smile spreads across his face.

“move faster,” you bark, bucking your hips a little when he clenches around you.

his eyes narrow. his left hand slowly slides up from your thigh to your chest, then settles on your collarbone, fingers wrapping around your neck. the weight of his hand there makes your heart skip a beat.

“when did i say you could order me around?” his fingers press down lightly, but you still feel the struggle to swallow. the warmth of his palm is making is clear how controlling he is.

“you take what you get,” he moves his hips at a faster pace, the shine of his skin from his sweat making you want to eat him up. “and thank me for it.” he squeezes for a second, “right?”

“yes- yes,” you pant when leans down for a kiss. you moan at how good it feels to be inside him.

his hips never stop moving, it’s a slow sensual feeling, you wanna cum so bad. you wanna slam into him but you have to wait. you tilt your head back, exposing more of your neck when he peppers kisses down your jaw. his hand never leaves your neck, and you let out a small noise.

he grins, knowing he has you at his mercy.

[oddent]

FLUSH MY HEART | HC

༘۠ chan , felix & jisung (seperate) x m!reader

༘۠ omegaverse! au + idol! au + nsfw + fluff, fluff, fluff! + slight crying + alpha!reader + mating cycle! + cock warming

༘۠ a/n; this was such a cute request!

chan’s a delicate one during heat.

from how often he’s been on suppressants, his body is overreactive during heat

yet he knows you’re the sweetest most caring alpha during his cycle

due to all his stress and lack of sleep, during his heat he’s more so sleepy and whiney than desperate for a knot

yet you figured the best way to satisfy him is to be balls deep inside him while he naps

goodness, he loves that more than the tender, warm kisses you leave on his flushed skin

fight me, but he’s definitely a pillow princess during his heat

he only has you, you, you and your knot in his mind

you always praise him and it just makes him go slack, head empty aside from your words bouncing around his brain

“baby,” you grunt softly against his neck, “you like that? feel full?”

he whimpers softly, half his face flush against the pillow.

“what a good omega, such a beautiful obedient baby.”

he’ll orgasm just from that.

since his heats are irregular, his body is pent up by the time it comes, hence as much as he just wants to stay huddled up to you and float on your scent, he knows he has to have you deep inside him

you always move him around, mark him up and overstimulate him so good he still feels sensitive after his heat

he’s so thirsty during heat, and i don’t mean for water

during regular sex, he’s shy and mostly lets you do what you want but during heat? oh baby, you need to just sit there and give him your knot

he’s a pretty vicious omega during heat, you can’t go out for no reason. he will growl if you try to leave the room and/or if anyone is at the door

normaly it’s the alpha that has hella stamina, but in jisung’s case, it’s always him that overstimulates you

his heats are consistent, every month for four days, while it’s normal for it to be every 3 months. because his heats are so consistent, his body craves more than normal. you could’ve popped four knots already and he’ll still ride you without a complaint from him.

“j-jisung-“

“alpha,” he pants, smiling feverishly at you. he’s damp in sweat, bangs dripping with it. his eyes are lidded when so alive, so hungry. “again, alpha, knot me.”

it’s not a request it’s a demand. your eyes rolls back and your hips spasm.

as much as he likes being marked up by you, he does it to you too

he’ll bite, suck along your collarbone. he’s purr when you hiss or complain.

as high as his drive is, he still has a few tender moments, when he’s sitting on top of you, with your knot deep inside, kissing your wetly and with his arms around you

as long as you’re inside him, he’s more than satisfied

sometimes you have to walk with him still attached to you, his clinginess goes beyond you. he literally wants you on him and in him at all times, but obviously if it comes to restroom usage he’ll make an exception, as long as he’s in the same spot as you he’s more than satisfied

stop, he’s always overwhelmed

meaning, show him love and he’ll cry because he feels like he doesn’t seserve an alpha like you

his scent gland is oversensitive, so you kissing it gets the cutest noises out of him

he likes it when he’s on his back and you raise his hips to rut into him, he loves seeing you lose yourself in him

he loves to talk you through it, it makes him feel so useful for you

“y/n… you like using me? you like it when i clench around you as you cum? you like it when i milk you?”

you’d shiver and grunt in agreement.

“does alpha love filling his omega with his cum?”

“y-yes.”

“is felix the only one you can get fuck like this?”

“fuck,” you’d pop another knot. “yes baby, just you.”

he’ll pepper kisses all over you and cuddle you to sleep

he’ll pump pheromones so you can get scent high and go crazy over him

he’ll want you to coat his stomach with your cum, fuck his thighs, his mouth, he’s all in it to please you even when he’s in heat

he loves it when you fuck him from behind and yank his hair, mark his nape with bites and grip his hips

he likes being shoved into the sheets and treated like a rag doll

he thrives on you using him just as much as he melts when you coddle him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear

make him cry, make him gag. just make him remember he’s yours during and after his heat

[oddent]

BE PRETTY | OS

༘۠ park sunghoon x m!idol!reader

༘۠ fluff + idol life + implied nsfw

༘۠ a/n: watch this flop, it’s been years since i’ve written for kpop jaja….

sunghoon knows your eyes are for him and him only. he could be walking across the stage, 30 feet across from you to receive an award yet still feel (and know) where your eyes are at. he doesn’t have to spot you out to know you’re watching him.

you’re both not public, it’s still hard for both of you. the public is not going to be happy with it, you both know it. yet, he doesn’t think he’s hiding the relationship and neither are you. matter of fact, the more obvious you are, for some reason the public doesn’t even notice or think too deep about it.

“jay said i have to hurry up,” he whispers as he meets you inside the stall in the bathroom.

“i just wanted to congratulate you baby, nothing more,” you smile charmingly and kiss his nose.

he hums softly, smiling at you. “ah… good because the makeup artists already left and can’t retouch my makeup.”

“that’s what you’re worried about?” you chuckle, “i wouldn’t dare.”

he rolls his eyes while you take his hand in yours. your thumb grazes over his knuckles, making him go lax. award shows are always stressful, you have to look perfect, you can’t express much and there are so many rules that his head wants to explode.

“are you free to call tonight?” you ask, kissing his jaw softly.

you have a habit of kissing his face, butterfly kisses are your favorite thing to do to him. he loves them too, feeling you love him.

“yeah, it’ll be pretty late though, like one? i have to shower and you know the drive is a little long.”

“that’s okay, i’ll always wait for you,” you hum, placing a final kiss on his lips. “you should go back now, just call me, okay?”

he nods, accepting the hug you give him. you’re so warm, he really wishes he could be in your arms longer.

“see you later, beautiful,” you say, pushing him away playfully.

“yah…” he glares at you before walking out.

the rest of the award ceremony goes on. the ride to the dorms feels too long, as much as he wants to shower fast and call you he can’t because he wants to feel clean and fresh. so after doing his skin care and finally getting under the sheets, he calls you.

the others are still up, still getting into bed or doing whatever they want before sleeping.

“hey pretty,” you say, groggy, as you had fallen asleep minutes before he calls.

“where’s your pretty face,” he demands softly, looking at the black screen.

“ah, hold on,” you grunt, moving around before your face is illuminated by your night lamp. “better?” you ask as you settle back into a comfortable position.

“mhm,” he nods, watching you.

you stare back at him, smiling. “ah, let me tell you about what happened during the changing rooms,” you say before rambling on about your group’s ruckus.

he listens intently, feeling peaceful at the sound of your voice. he closes his eyes, imagining that your next to him in person, rambling. he misses the rumble in your chest as you laugh, the warmth of your body as he’s under the sheets.

“hey…” you call out eventually.

he opens his eyes, staring back at you again. “hm?”

“you sleepy?”

“no,” he shakes his head, “i just like listening to you.”

“i know you love my voice but if you fall asleep on me i might cry.”

“what?” he laughs.

you grin at the sight of his expression.

“i love your voice so much it wakes me up.”

“hn?” you question, but at the sight of his teasing grin you catch on. “ah,, dangerous game there baby. my groups already asleep.”

“mine too…”

you stare at him before smirking. “sunghoon…” you say cautiously, eyeing him.

his eyes lit up, but he suppresses his smile. “yeah, yeah.”

and he shifts around, getting comfortable for what’s to come.

[oddent]

[6:45 PM] lee minho x gn!latin@!reader [idol au]

when the two of you find gaps between your schedules and manage to hang out, it’s not as peaceful as you’d normally like. you and minho are complete opposites, while he is indeed quiet and reserved, just like you, his energy is a lot more abundant than yours. both of you are pretty energetic people once you get comfortable with someone, but even then, minho has more energy than you.

so, today you just planned to be with his presence and go over the lyrics your producer handed over the day before. you haven’t gotten time to look at them, so now that you were sitting on the floor next to minho, with the table full of take out, you were truly in your own world.

you shouldn’t blame minho for his impulsiveness nor his energy. it’s been well over a month since the two of you had hung out and even so, you’re submerged in work.

he leans into you, peeking at the lyrics but not really reading them. he glances at you and he sees your pinched brows and slight pout. you asked for forty minutes to revise, he doesn’t think he could do that. he maxed out his video game time on his phone and he doesn’t necessarily have important work to revise or do.

he takes a deep breath before yelling out an, “AH.” which startles you and makes you groan.

“minho, not now,” you mumble softly, going back what you were doing.

he takes that differently. he begins to literally slump himself over your shoulder, you didn’t mind until his weight practically made you slump onto the floor. still, persistent in your reading, you lay down in a nice position and lift the papers to where you could see them.

minho crawls over you and practically rolls around, like a cat, while still on top of you. you grunt softy, doing your best to ignore him, but he’s very persistent. eventually, he stays still, plopped over you and you would have been happy with that if it weren’t for your almost full bladder.

it was a bit painful so you hissed, slapping his arm to get him off. “ai! quitate! quitate!” you grunt and he actually obeys.

“yah!” you yell, glaring at him once you sat up.

he’s grinning at you, not really caring how annoyed you are.

“encerio,” you grumble, getting up to use the bathroom.

he watches you with those pretty eyes, but you go do your business before returning. you kinda feel bad now, though, because you had promised no work involved. you simply forgot about the lyrics until heading over. you never breaked your promises before.

“sorry,” he says softly, messing with the papers you had been looking at.

you sit down next to him again, sighing. “i’m sorry too, i said no work involved and that’s the first thing i do.” you lean into him, causing him go look over at you. “forgive me?”

he nods, and he just looks so adorable you couldn’t help peck him on the lips.

[oddent]

[8:15 AM] h.jisung x gn!latin@!reader [idol au]

“y/n.”

“¿que paso amor?” you ask groggily.

he makes a bewildered face. you know he’s confused without having to glance but you’re too tired to try and look at him. instead, you keep your eyes closed and snuggle into your pillow once more.

“y/n,” he tries again.

“¿que?” you ask again, maybe a little frustrated.

he frowns, basically pouting, “i don’t know what that means!”

“i’m saying what,” you translate, hoping he gets on with what he wants because you really want to sleep and you have a heavy schedule in a few hours.

“oh,” he stares at your messy hair, “i’m hungry!”

“well order something,” you grunt.

“but i wanted to make breakfast!”

“then make it.”

“with you!”

“ai Dios,” you groan, rolling over to finally squint at his sitting figure.

he looks adorable, cheeks puffy from a nights sleep and hair all ruffled up. you know he’s trying to spend quality time with you, as much as he can before the two of you part ways for weeks. it’s been amazing, these past two days. a peaceful, chill routine that neither of you really want to get out of.

but today is the last day for that. half day, really.

you sigh, knowing you would regret not giving in.

“vamos pues,” you say as you sit up as well.

“i’m going to guess that’s a yes,” he says as he watches you get up and walk about with stars in his eyes.

“yup,” you grab your phone from the night stand, frowning at the hour before leaning in to give him a peck on the lips.

he giggles silently, grinning at how well you read him. he quickly follows you to the restroom, ready to spend whatever time the two of you have.

as he leans into your shoulder while brushing his teeth, you know you would risk anything to see him smile as well as him by your side for as long as possible.

[oddent]

SNATCH ME UP | b.chan x latina!reader

implied angst + spanish words + idol!au + making up + cat owner reader + fluff

the air is chilly and your racing heart only makes you acknowledge how nervous you are. which means you feel colder than usual because of the nerves. you can hear the crowd, muffled by your heart beat but you only dwell on it more than usual.

“n/n,” the maknae of your group whispers behind you, the nickname she specifically gave you brings you back to reality.

“hm?” you hum, not trusting your voice.

“are you ready?”

“no,” you whisper, but it sounds more like a whimper.

she hugs you from behind, reassuring you that you got this. “-and chan-sunbaenim will be very proud!”

you relax for a moment but that is exactly why you’re nervous. chan is somewhere in the crowd, definitely waiting for your amazing performance alongside your group but what he doesn’t know is that you and emi have a duo opening act and more importantly you will be singing in spanish (or whatever latin american language you speak). your native tongue.

“we got this, you’re not alone.” emi assures quickly before the backtrack starts to play in your in-ear monitors.

you take a quick deep breath before taking your first stride down the stage. the instrumental is slow, darker than what the original song is but it’s perfect. you’ll sing it just as slow and full of pain, acting has always been your forte. you’ll just have to pretend like always, making your heart calm down sooner than later.

“VE~N,” you scream-sing into the mic, looking darkly at the crowd, you know everyone must be startled at the foreign language. “Y CUENTAME LA VERDAD.”

“TEN PIEDAD,” you takes a shuddering breath, “Y DIME. POR QUE~!? NO. NO, NO~!”

and emi goes in, translating the verse that comes afterwards in korean as you move to back her up in the dance. you manage to get a glimpse of a screen, seeing chan and minho stare intensely at the performance. you make yourself believe that there wasn’t any pain in chan’s face. you didn’t even want to see him, really. what a coincidence that was.

and just when the trumpet’s instrumental dies down, the transition to your group’s latest comeback plays. you and emi move in sync, her voice filling up your in-ear again and soon, your other members join in.

your composure lasts all evening. you feel relieved when you finally get off the stage. emi and the others exclaim how happy they were, that you did amazing. that everything will be alright.

you weren’t sure but hopefully everything did go well. whether chan and you make up or not, whether the two of you break up, you knew you had other things to focus on. you were fine before him, you could be fine aft-

“y/n.”

you freeze, last in line as your group files out to leave the backstage and head to the seats outside.

“y/n we need to talk,” chan whispers loud enough for you to hear.

you peer over your shoulder, “now is not the time, chris.”

he can hear the underlying venom in your voice. he takes a deep breath.

“well look at my messages and you’ll deem what day is fit.” is all he says before walking away, preparing for the stage.

you swallow, rushing your steps to catch up to the girls. you get some praise from idols you pass by, a lot of soft claps and “loved it!” whisper-shouted. your back hurt from all the bowing.

by the time you sit, stray kids’ performance already started. you can only hold back tears as you see your possible ex-boyfriend shine.

“we can leave and let him come here to talk,” your leader says.

“i don’t know…” you say softly, sullen.

“i think it’s best, our dorms aren’t known by the public yet, unlike theirs, and the dorms are safer than a cafe or whatever you two originally had in mind.”

you stare at her, sighing in defeat. “okay, i’ll text him then.”

she pats your shoulder, smiling warmly.

“thank marie,” you say to her, jokingly adding a french accent.

“yah,” she says while ruffling your hair as she exits the kitchen.

you go to chan’s chat, staring at all the messages and all the registered missed calls. your hands tremble and sweat, your mind races. what if he changes his mind and immediately just says the 3 words? what if he gets aggressive when he gets here? what if-

“stop overthinking,” emi’s voice startles you, causing your thumb to send the message you had mindlessly typed.

“ai- mierda!” you groan, whining as you slump over the table.

“if this is about chan you shouldn’t be like this!” she scolds, “you act like he’d hurt you.”

“he already has-“

“on purpose.” she strains, “and physically. he would never hurt you in that way! plus. he wouldn’t have any reason or right to, he’s the one at fault.”

“i know,” you groan as you hear your phone ding.

chan’s reply was a simple “alright”. you weren’t sure how to feel about that. but it didn’t matter, emi made sure you were in decent spirits by the time she and the girls left. all of them gave you words of encouragement and you relaxed just a tiny bit but the nerves returned while meet up time got closer.

you shut yourself in your room, playing with you cat to try to relax once more. yet, you couldn’t. everything frustrated you, everything made you want to cry. especially how cute your cat looked in the white vest chan gave him a few weeks ago.

when the doorbell rings, you jump. your cat scurries away, surprised at how jittery you are. you close the door behind you, locking your baby inside your room.

your heart is racing, you already want to cry.

but you have to be strong. you have to face reality. nothing has been easy up until now, foreigners as trainees never do.

a break up is nothing.

chan us standing on the other side of the door frame, looking charming in his grey sweats and black hoodie. he doesn’t have his beany on, but he looks dashing as ever.

“hi,” he tries a smile, you reflect it as well.

“hi, come in,” you step aside, allowing him to do so.

both of you are quiet and tense as you head to the kitchen. he sets his bag on the table, and quickly strikes conversation.

“i want to apologize.” he starts, you silently sit down on the stool. “for constantly putting you aside, for diminishing you, for taking out my problems on you and treating you like that’s all i have you for. y/n,” you manage to make eye contact and you see the tears brimming in his eyes.

it makes you reflect that same expression.

“i love you. i truly mean it. i know me having problems these past few months aren’t an excuse, i know better than to treat you like that and still did it and i hurt you and that makes me feel horrible. because the moment i let you in my life, i’ve never been happier. you’ve been nothing but supportive and loving and i’ve tried my best to return it but i’ve failed you so horribly these last few months. i’m really sorry, for doing that. for making you cry.”

you wipe your tears, realizing that you indeed were crying at that very moment. you sniffle, looking down at the ends of chan’s bag’s straps that you’ve been messing with these past few minutes.

“i’m tired, chan,” you say.

his shoulders sag, “i know, and i know i caused that. you’re so patient… i actually hit your limit.”

you swallows thickly, “but even so, i still want to give it another try,” you look at him again, “because i love you too. we’ve been together for a year and a half, chan. i don’t want to throw that away. and if we ever do then i don’t want to end on bad terms. that would hurt me more.”

“i know,” he says softly, “i know. baby.” he leans over the table, reaching out and placing his hands over yours. “will you forgive me?”

you nod.

“and will you give me another chance?”

“yeah,” you sniffle.

“good, because i brought this.” chan grins, sniffling a bit as well. he removes his hands from yours and pulls out a box from his bag.

“and what’s this for?” you question as you take the box.

“a present,” he simply says, biting his bottom lip as he watches you set it on the table to open it.

you gasp as you see the custom made cat collar that you had made a few days ago. you didn’t really have money for it, most of your check went into the trainee debt you’ve earned and are close to paying off. you found a beautiful site with expensive but pretty customizable options. with every collar purchase, the seller would send a matching ring or bracelet (to obviously match with the kitty).

you couldn’t help but grin as chan put the bracelet on. especially when he said he purchased the ring so the three of you have family jewelry.

“cosita linda mia,” you squeal, swooping up the fluffy orange cat that comfortably laid on your bed in a loaf position. “look what daddy brought you!”

chan grins, adoring how you cradle and kiss your cat. he hugs you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“i’m serious,” he says softly. “i love you, i always want to see you happy.”

you sigh softly, melting into his arms as your cat jumps out of your arms. the two of you watch the feline walk away to the bed, to resume its previous position.

“always?”

he nods, “always,” he kisses your neck, “and i’ll make sure to achieve that. i don’t want to lose a talented, beautiful person because of my stupidity.”

“yeah,” you grin, “cus like lilly says, i don’t like stupid people.”

hearing his laugh in your ears makes you feel warm and fuzzy again. and thats how you know, you’re back in his hold for sure.

[oddent]

[ 8:30 PM] felix x latina!reader [idol au]

trembling hands made their way to your face. you smiled adoringly at him before closing your eyes to accept the soft kiss he places on your lips. 

“what’s wrong, amor?” you ask softly, hearing him sigh after dropping down on your bed. 

“it’s getting hard to see you,” felix says softly, tired and upset. 

you fall to his side, facing him and taking in every one of his features. his freckles, his cute nose, his tired eyes, his cute pout- all of him makes you grin. you reach out and brush his hair, placing a few blonde strands behind his ear. 

“i know, but it’s okay, we’re trying.” you smile, “i know your schedule is tight, thank you for making some time.”

he stares at you, long and full of some sadness. “i wish it was more often.”

“i know, amor, i know,” you pat his cheek, “but one day we’ll come out to the public and we’ll be free to make time without thinking too much of our every move.” 

he sighs, closing his eyes. “one day,” he mumbles. 

you hum a soft tune as you run your fingers through his rough locks, knowing he was bound to fall asleep soon. it’s always like this, the two of you snuggling up and resting as much as possible. 

your band mates had all gone to their homes for the winter break. there’s no schedules lately either, and as a less popular group, there was plenty of free time given by the company. as a foreign member, you always stayed behind. alone in the dorms. 

that’s when felix fights against all odds to visit you. he has it rough, tight schedules, obsessed fans and haters that watch his every move, a contract around his neck- you have it a bit easier in some of those areas. yet, the two of you have a main issue in common and that’s the fact that both of you are left behind during long breaks like these.

well, felix has chan but even chan doesn’t spend time in the dorms, choosing to haul himself up in the studio. sometimes felix joins him but it’s still not felix’s cup of tea. 

and ever since he met you, he’s found comfort in loneliness. for you were basking in it as well. 

[oddent]

jealousy jealousy || Changbin x Reader

Summary: It's as you're working with Changbin on a school project — and he's being as infuriating as he always is — that he invites you to go see 3racha perform in a bar that night. You decide to take the opportunity, because you do find the group talented, and also, what could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 4.3k

Genres: college AU, rapper!Changbin

Warnings & Tags: jealousy, academic rivals to lovers, alcohol consumption, brief sleazy behavior from someone else, consensual kiss while under the influence, light angst, oc has insecurities

series masterlist

A/N: Similarly to the I.N. oneshot, please ignore the thing about music if you know better and it doesn't make sense, my years of studying music theory are far behind me :') Hope you'll enjoy the piece, would appreciate to know your thoughts on it if you do!

If you had had your say on this assignment or on your choice for a partner, you wouldn’t be sitting there, across from Seo Changbin, in his fucking studio, watching him nod his head as he’s working on the arrangement you’re supposed to turn in next week.

“The guidelines say we’re supposed to use an unusual time signature,” you say, partly to be annoying and partly because he’s literally using 4/4, which, like, come on. It’s like he’s trying to go against the rules.

“They’re used for a reason,” he replies after a good thirty seconds of silence, which could be because he was ignoring you or because he can’t multitask. “It’s more important to turn in something that’s good than something that follows the guidelines.”

“That’s not mutually exclusive.”

“You can’t let others tell you what to do,” he insists, still looking at his screen. “You have to make your own decisions based on what’s good for—”

“It sounds like you just can’t take a challenge,” you interrupt him and this time, he turns around to glare at you. For a second, he looks offended, which was the reaction you were going for and, you have to say, it brings you an evil satisfaction. Then a corner of his lips lift and he smirks.

You really don’t like how attractive you find that look on him.

“You think that’s going to work on me?”

You grit your teeth. Well, rationale and logic weren’t getting you anywhere so far, so this was at least worth a try.

“I’m not looking forward to you tanking my grade,” you reply with a shrug, attempting, and probably failing, to look nonchalant.

This time he scoffs before going back to the computer.

“It’s not going to tank our grade. The teacher values quality more than following the rules, and even if he didn’t, you shouldn’t change yourself to make someone happy.”

Valuable life advice, you’re sure. It just does not apply whatsoever when a grade is at stake. Unfortunately though, he is right about this teacher valuing ‘quality’, though you don’t like how subjective his view of it appears to be. You think there should be metrics when it comes to grading your students. Either way, so far Changbin’s been fucking breezing through this class because the teacher just adores everything he puts out. You think it’s a gross display of favoritism and you suspect that it has a lot to do with 3racha’s popularity, but everyone’s too busy making heart eyes at the golden boy to think about it.

And, look, you like 3racha. You think they’re talented. You don’t know where Chan finds the time to do music while being captain of the swimming team and all the other stuff he’s doing — seriously, when does he sleep —, you think Jisung’s a very talented singer, rapper, producer — basically a one man group already without needing to add the other two in— and Changbin’s… Yeah. Changbin’s good. There’s no way you could deny that. That’s not the problem.

The problem is that it doesn’t seem to have crossed his mind that there are some people in here who don’t have a record deal lined up for them as soon as they walk out of their graduation. Some people who are not going to have full creative control over their stuff until they’ve really established themselves, if that ever happens. Some people who also just simply enjoy figuring out a way of making something interesting, something good in ways they wouldn’t have thought of if they hadn’t been forced to deal with an obstacle of some sort barring them from picking the easiest solution.

The problem is that, as you reluctantly have to admit, Changbin isn’t picking the easiest solution. In fact, once you notice what he’s doing, you can’t help but lean forward on your seat, all your attention on him and his hands moving on the keyboard. Shit. It seems, infuriatingly, that he had a point.

“What’d you think?” he asks once he’s done, and you blink yourself back to reality after having watched him work his magic.

“It’s smart,” you admit. You’re not the type to lie just because you have an issue with him. “Using tertiary rhythms in 4/4 to give the impression of another time signature… Yeah. It’s good.”

You can practically see his ego getting bigger with every word you say. Dammit, you almost wish he were a hack.

“But,” you add, a little too be annoying and a little because you have an actual point to make, “I think you should start off with binary rhythms.”

Changbin visibly deflates, then frowns, and you realize belatedly that you might have been able to push back on the use of the time signature then and there. You think he’d have given in, if you still didn’t like the end result, but that hadn’t even occurred to you.

“Why?” he asks, folding his — impressive — arms over his chest. “That’d be boring.”

You shake your head, pushing yourself up next to him and taking the mouse out of his hands to start making the changes that are clear as day in your mind. The gesture seems to outrage him, but if you’re being honest that’s actually a plus in your book, so, tough to be him.

“You start out with something familiar,” you explain as you’re working, “to lull the listener into a false sense of security. Then you hit them with the unusual to have a bigger impact and to make them wonder how the piece got there. That way, they’ll think they’ll know exactly what you’re going for from the start and be more surprised when you go for something else.”

There are a few seconds of silence after that, before Changbin also leans forward, his body suddenly much closer to yours.

“You have to work on the transition some more if you’re going for that,” he says, and his breath tickles your cheek. “’cause it’s just gonna feel jarring if you don’t.”

“I was getting to that,” you say with a click of your tongue, elbowing him in the stomach in an attempt to keep him from messing with your work. Through the first, soft layer, you come in contact with strong abs, which doesn’t surprise you considering how much time he’s rumored to spend at the gym.

Not that you’re paying attention to these rumors or anything. It’s just— Know your enemy, or something.

He does manage to use his muscles pretty easily to get the mouse back, and after an undignified shriek when he wraps an arm around your body to lift you up and get you away, you admit defeat. If your cheeks are warm now, it’s just because of the effort.

It’s also the reason your heart beats faster, and it’s got nothing to do with the satisfied grin Changbin shoots back at you once he’s back in front of the computer.

“Hey,” he says as he’s working, “you know 3racha’s having a concert tonight?”

Of course you do.

“I heard about it.”

“You should come. I can get you in.”

You raise an eyebrow. You’ve never actually seen 3racha perform. Tickets to their stuff aren’t that easy to get on campus or around i, and you’re also busy working your ass off most of the time, whether it’s for classes or at your part-time job. But you have tonight off, and considering this assignment is going nicely…

You bite your lower lip as you consider it. You’re not really looking forward to the screaming crowd looking at Changbin like he’s a god, but you are interested in the actual show. You’ve heard so much about them, and the stars aligning for a ticket offer and not having to work…

Ah, fuck it.

“Okay.”

Changbin’s head whips back in your direction.

“What?”

You take a step back, shoulders instinctively coming up to your ears. Your defenses come back up in a matter of seconds.

“If you don’t want me there, you shouldn’t have—”

“No, you should come!” he protests, and then his voice gets softer. “I’d be super happy if you came, I just didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“Of course I am,” you say with a shrug.

Changbin turns around towards the computer, but not before you catch a bright smile on his lips. Not his signature smirk. A bright, genuine smile.

And this time, you have no excuse when your heart skips a beat.

It doesn’t come off as a shock to you that 3racha are really fucking good on stage. You didn’t have any trouble getting into the bar after giving your name, which Changbin had told you would be enough. It had taken a little more, uh, elbow work to get reasonably close to the stage, because the place was already pretty filled up. The people there are almost all from the college, but there are a few groups of mostly young men — some looking like they’re too young to have been let in — that stick out as well.

You make yourself comfortable as you wait, sending the occasional glare at people pushing you. Lots of girls there, you note, and you don’t think they’re all there for the music, which you find amusing. You certainly don’t judge. That’s something that the people from the labels would have noted, and it’s not like there’s a wrong way of enjoying a group.

The crowd goes wild around you when Jisung — or rather J-One, his stage name — jumps on stage, practically vibrating with energy. You don’t really catch what he’s saying, both because it’s too loud and because he’s speaking too fast. You are, however, acutely aware of the way he presents himself, of his cocky grin, of the way he sticks his tongue out and wipes at his lower lip with his thumb.

He’s followed on stage by Changbin, who, unlike him, barely looks like he’s acting. Yeah, his stage persona is raw confidence, supercharged with charisma, but he doesn’t bother doing much of anything — though you think he’s flexing his muscles a little more than usual. Except, of course, when he gives the audience that fucking smirk of his.

And suddenly, you’re very, very aware of how hot it is in the room.

Chan’s the last one to get on, and he does so with a roar of “Are you ready?”. Everyone goes insane, and you find yourself being pushed around by the people around you jumping up and down. Though you’re not quite giving in just yet, you do enjoy the enthusiasm. If half of what you’ve heard about them is true, they certainly deserve the hype. Seeing the wide, uncontainable smile on Chan’s face at the crowd reaction, as he can’t keep up with his stage persona for a few seconds, just makes your heart swell.

Then, after getting the crowd even more riled up, they get started with their set. You’re familiar with all the songs, of course. Music is ideally going to become your job and you want to keep yourself updated, but also, you do find them to be good. Even the stuff that’s not to your personal taste is always backed up by an actual creative idea, which is not something you’d say about a lot of pop songs that get blasted on the radio every day. It makes their music feel new, and yeah, sometimes it means it’s not that easily accessible and it’s going to turn some people off, but it sure makes you respect their artistic integrity.

They’re also giving themselves on stage, 100%. And, because there’s just no point in denying it now, Changbin looks ridiculously fucking hot doing it. It makes all sorts of things tingle in your stomach and lower when he growls in the mic. You haven't been able to look away for a second.

Outside of the general hotness — you’re human, what can you say — you can’t help but appreciate everything else, everything musical. How easily he rides the beat, how music seems to inhabit his body, how skillfully he’s crafted the verses and choruses and made them feel— You’re not sure how to phrase it. They’re not predictable, but they are obvious. It feels like there would be no other way of doing them, no better way of phrasing them, no arrangement that would be more efficient. It has to be that way.

And it’s as they’re reaching the peak of their last song that dread washes over you, seeping straight to your bones.

You find Changbin annoying. You think he’s cocky, overconfident, and that he doesn’t pay enough attention to others. You also don’t like the way he gets everything handed to him on a silver platter and that, unlike you, he doesn’t have to split his time between work and college. But if you’re being honest, that’s not nearly enough of a reason to dislike him. The guy wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s always happy to help out, maybe even lets people take advantage a little bit. And he’s so, so fucking talented. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find all of that attractive.

The problem, as you’re staring at him on stage, is that the question that is truly at the center of it all, the one you’ve refused to ask yourself all this time as you kept working your ass off and he kept doing better than you, just came up to the surface, and you can’t avoid it any longer.

What if you just don’t have it?

Look, you believe in hard work, but you find it hard to deny that some people just have something else. Call it talent, call it luck, whatever. Changbin’s got it.

You’re not sure you do.

You just might keep working and working and working and never get to the level he’s at. You might just not have the thing that makes him able to come up with hooks that stay inside your head for days on end.

What’s been your dream job for almost a decade now might remain forever out of reach.

As the crowd erupts in cheers around you, and 3racha stay on the stage, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down their forehead, the future you’ve always wished for doesn’t quite shatter completely in front of your eyes, but it takes a nasty crack that ripples onto its entire surface.

You turn around, away from the stage. You hadn’t planned on that, but fuck it.

You need a drink.

Even as you down two drinks a little too quick and gesture for a third, you know this is a bad idea. You’re running straight into a wall, you’re going to regret this so much tomorrow, and you’re doing it anyway. This isn’t like you. You make the good decision, the right decision, you do what’s smart, what you should do.

Except apparently, none of that is enough, and that thought gets you to ingest the third drink as well, the burning taste of alcohol a welcome distraction.

“You can really knock these back,” a voice comments next to you.

You glance at the guy who’s already way too close in your personal space for a stranger. Normally, you would roll your eyes and you’d never even consider entertaining it. Who even hits on someone after they’ve seen them try their best to get intoxicated in as short an amount of time as possible?

Tonight though, his maths has paid off, because you welcome the distraction.

If you’re going to be making bad decisions, why stop at one, right?

You spin yourself towards him, rest your elbow on the counter and put your head on your hand in a pretty unnatural pose. You’re not quite coordinated — not usually, and certainly not with that amount of alcohol in your blood — but it doesn’t appear to throw him off.

“Sure can,” you say — it might come off slurred, you can’t tell, “but the question is, can you?”

He raises an eyebrow, but he looks amused. Honestly, he’s giving sleazy vibes, a little too happy to be running into someone trying to get wasted, you just— you just don’t give a fuck right now. You feel like you’ve watched the life slip forever out of your reach, and you just want to forget about it, forget about how you may never get a job and never live from what you want to do most in the world, forget about fucking Seo Changbin and how ridiculously talented he is when you’re— Yeah, you’re ordering another drink.

The guy offers to pay for you, and you’re not going to say no. He makes a dumb comment about it which you think is supposed to be a joke and you laugh way too hard, throwing your head back in a tried and tested move.

As you make painful small talk with him while waiting for your drink, you’re struck by how mediocre he seems to be. When you’re around Changbin, as annoying as he can be, the conversation’s just… brilliant. He’s interesting, he’s actually smart, he has stuff to say, and talking to him makes you feel, well, annoyed, sure, but it’s also challenging. He never bores you.

It’s been less than a minute, and you already wish that guy would shut up.

He doesn’t. He seems intent on smothering you with facts about his life that he probably believes to be impressive — his money, his job, his connections —, like you don’t know why he’s doing it. It’s almost insulting that he seems to believe that he’s seducing you with all of that fairly mundane stuff, when really, the attention you’re giving him has nothing to do with, well, him.

He’s moved on to putting his arm around your shoulders in the least subtle way known to man when you hear your name and you turn back around.

There’s Changbin, eyeing you and the guy, looking half pissed, half concerned.

“Oh, hey,” you say. “You were really good.”

His eyebrows knit, but then a smile that he can’t seem to hold back lifts a corner of his lips. It’s not arrogant for once, almost bashful actually.

“You thought so?”

So good that it gave you an existential crisis, so, yeah, you did.

“Yeah, you guys weren’t bad,” the dude behind you chimes in, and since you’ve got your back turned to him, you openly roll your eyes, which Changbin can’t miss. You doubt the guy knows shit about the time and efforts that had to go into that set, or into the writing of the song before even getting onto the stage, for that matter. “A bit derivative,” he adds, like an asshole, “but you might go on to do great stuff.”

There’s nothing bashful about Changbin’s smile now. He doesn’t look hurt or anything, but he seems to be thinking that the guy’s a real fucking moron.

“Thanks,” he says, sarcasm dripping in his voice which the dude doesn’t catch. Then his eyes fall on the glasses in front of you, and back to the hand on your shoulder. “Is that all yours?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m questioning my existence,” you reply with a shrug. “So that seemed like a good idea.”

Changbin looks confused for a second, but not completely deterred by your lack of coherence.

“’kay, then I think I should take you home.”

That’s objectively a good idea, and the more time you’re spending looking at him and talking to him, the less you want to keep talking to the other dude, actually.

“Hey,” the guy in question says from behind you, “I got there first. Find someone else, dude.”

Changbin’s eyes harden instantly and he takes a threatening step forward. He’s shorter than the man, but significantly larger. You just so happen to not be drunk enough to watch them fight. You blame your dad’s genes for making you somewhat good at handling your alcohol, because you wish you were hammered enough not to care right now. You push yourself on your feet, a bit unsteady, and put your hand on Changbin’s arm — totally to stop him and not at all to stop yourself from face planting. His muscles, you discover with some interest, are not just impressive but also extremely hard, perhaps because he’s prepared to fight.

“It’s good,” you say, “thanks for the drinks but he’s right, I need to get home.”

The man’s face contorts with anger.

“You can pay for your own drinks, you fucking—”

One of Changbin’s arms wrap around your waist, and then he takes a step forward, easily getting you out of the way while keeping you against him, to grab the man by the collar.

“Want to finish that sentence, asshole?”

If you were sober, you’d think something judgmental about men and aggressiveness. Right now, you mostly, uh, think it’s very very hot of him. Being pressed into his hard body makes your heart rate spike up, and in that state, it’s so hard to deny how attracted you are to him.

The guy backs down quickly, sputtering an apology, and then Changbin’s dragging you away, keeping his arm around you to ensure you stay on your feet.

“You okay?” he asks. His eyes scan your body, focusing back on your face when he finds nothing.

Alcohol has a tendency of making you even snappier than you usually are. Right now, though, hearing the genuine worry in his voice, you feel that part of you melting away.

“I’m good, Changbin. I think I just— I just need to get home.”

And though he’d be the last person you’d take help from if you were sober, he seems like the perfect pick at the moment.

You make it to the campus without too much trouble. It’s not like your legs don’t carry you anymore, just that you don’t walk quite straight, but Changbin doesn’t let go of you for one second of that walk, monitoring you the whole time, and then he insists on getting you back to your room as well. At least you live alone, because that is not something you’d like to have to explain.

“Did something happen?” Changbin asks, finally, as you’re making it up the steps, like he just can’t keep it in anymore. Your mind, which had been peacefully quiet this whole time, filled with his warmth and his presence, is flooded with noise again. It takes you a few long, painful seconds before you come up with something to say.

“Do you think I’m any good at this?” you ask just as you’re reaching your floor.

He shoots you a weird look.

“Good at what?”

Right, he wasn’t privy to everything that was going on in your mind.

“You know,” you say with a vague gesture. “Music. Producing. What we do.”

“Of course you’re good at it,” he scoffs like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “You’re super creative. You can follow all the stupid rules the teachers give us and still turn something good in. You think I’d let you work on my stuff in my studio if I didn’t think you were good?”

It’s his tone that gets to you, you think. Changbin’s honest to a fault, from what you’ve seen, but he says this so matter-of-factly, so casually, that it’s hard to question, even for just a second, that he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. You know it will take a moment to sink in, that Changbin has that kind of confidence in you when even you don’t, but, even if the thoughts will definitely come back later, it’s like he dispelled them all in just a few sentences.

It’s as you’re coming to a stop in front of your door that he almost jumps with realization.

“Wait a second. Did that fucker say—”

And then you kiss him. It’s not that hard, from the position you were in, to pivot into wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his, which you find to be soft and plump. He tenses for a second before his hand tightens on your waist and he kisses you back hungrily. If he can taste the alcohol on your lips, it doesn’t seem to bother him. His hand holds you close to him with almost bruising strength, but it remains chastely on your waist, his only movements coming from his lips and tongue.

His teeth graze against your lower lip, pulling on it, and it sends shivers through your whole body, but this is when you pull away from him. Despite his previous stillness, his head moves forward, chasing your lips for just a few seconds longer.

When you open your eyes, you find him panting, cheeks and ears a pronounced shade of red. It’s— extremely cute, if you’re being honest.

“Thank you for taking me home,” you say.

“Y—Yeah,” he says, glancing away when his voice cracks. “Yeah,” he repeats, “any time.”

“I’m gonna go to bed now,” you say, though you still haven’t taken your arms from around him.

“That’s good,” he says with a decisive nod. “’cause, you know, you’re drunk, and I wouldn’t wanna— You should go to bed.”

It makes you giggle, but you still decide give yourself a second more, during which you put your head on your shoulder, and Changbin just lets you, his hand rubbing circles on your back. When you still don’t move, he clears his throat.

“D’you want me to carry you?”

“Seriously?”

His response to that is to lift you up princess-style, one arm under your knees and the other under your back. He lets out a grunt as he lifts you, but then stabilizes himself and manages to get you through the door.

You know that you’ll have some things to seriously think about when you wake up with a throbbing headache, but in that moment, you just laugh and let him carry you to your bed, because having his arms around make you feel safe.

He makes you feel like you’re going to be okay.

Taglist: @lethallyprotected @jisuperboard

[oddent]

[ 5:10 ] “It’s raining,” he whispers as he strokes your hair softly.

It’s your favourite kind: morning rain. It seals you inside, seals both you and Minho inside your small apartment together. You haven’t been awake long, 10 minutes or so—waking to the gentle brush of his fingers against your temple.

“Mm,” you hum. “I can hear.”

“Should we stay in?” he asks. A rare day off for both of you.

You nuzzle into his neck in response, burying yourself into him. There’s no where you’d rather be.

He’s quiet after that, both of you lulled by the heavy rain. Your head rises and falls with each breath he takes. You’re just about to lose consciousness again when his soft voice pulls you to the surface. “Should we go swimming?” he asks.

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[oddent]

eighteen — kim seungmin.

trope. best friends to lovers. college au. slow burn. angst. fluff.

synopsis. it takes you a while to realize being known is being loved, and kim seungmin just so happens to be an expert in the study of you.

word count: 19.8k words

warnings. just extreme slow burn. some curse words. sexual jokes. drinking and being intoxicated. 

note. again my self indulgent take on seungmin in college :)

one.

Kim Seungmin has a habit of blowing up your phone every chance he gets. So, it really isn’t anything new to wake up to a million notifications from your best friend.

The range of apps from which he bothers you is astronomical.

(Instagram): _seungmin mentioned you in a comment: @ynbread lmao this video reminded me of u cos ure an idiot

(Tiktok): seungmin mentioned you in a comment: @ynbread us

(Twitter): seungmin replied to your tweet: I’m hungry can u reply to my messages

But nothing, absolutely nothing, can beat the 56 messages and 9 missed calls on your phone. You’d think it was an emergency if not for his last message, shining brightly through your screen.

minnie: i need a new face wash come with me so i can shut up about it 😡

You roll your eyes to yourself, skimming through the notifications on your lock screen without really opening them. It’s mostly just a series of Seungmin asking you if you were awake every hour with a few whining in between about how he’s bored and how you need to wake up. 

While you’re laughing at his overdramatic messages (has he been hanging out with Hyunjin too much these days?), you accidentally unleash a storm upon yourself.

You hadn’t meant to click on one of the notifications, and now a taunting “read” is on the bottom of his messages.

Big mistake.

All hell is about to break lose.

The moment Kim Seungmin receives the small indication that you’re finally awake, his face flashes on your screen almost immediately in a Facetime call. It’s tempting to decline his call in favor of burying your face back into your pillows, but the clock reads 11am and you have an annoying best friend that needs your attention. You know never to ignore Seungmin. You’ve learned that the hard way.

Swiping on accept, his head of fluffy hair pops up on your screen. “Finally! What took you so long?” His phone angle shifts so his face shows now – it seems like he’s outside as he’s looking left and right before crossing somewhere. 

“Sleeping.” You rub your eyes, propping your phone against a box of tissues so he can see you while you fix your bed. 

“Didn’t wanna wake up cause you were dreaming of me?” You can hear the laughter in his voice.

Appropriately, you respond by gifting him your middle finger. “You wish.”

“Did you sleep well?” You hum in response even though you doubt he could hear you amidst the noise outside and the shuffling of your bedsheets. “What did you need?” You grab your phone from your nightstand, walking towards your refrigerator to get a glass of water. 

“Face wash. You’re coming with me. Oh, and bring an umbrella, it’s drizzling a little.”

“Gonna have to raincheck.”

Second big mistake.

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[oddent]

deny me (lovesong) — kim seungmin. ·˚ ༘♡

↝ pairing: kim seungmin x reader ↝ genre: humor, fluff, established relationship!au ↝ word count: 4k ↝ warnings: general menace behavior, you and seungmin are in love but pretend not to be, gross sickening fluff, jisung obviously doesn’t have the paboracha brain cell this week (don’t mind that the banner isn’t a gif my photoshop subscription expired…….)

↝ summary: the only thing you love more than your boyfriend seungmin’s smile is his obsession with fucking around with his friends. or, after one too many fights between his two best friends who can’t get along for the life of them, han jisung isn’t sure he can handle it anymore (who’s going to tell him that they don’t actually hate each other and are, in fact, dating?)

Thursdays have always been your favorite day of the week.

“Hi babe.”

To be fair, any day that you get to see Kim Seungmin is your favorite. But for the six months that the two of you have been dating, Thursdays have always been your day because it is when you get to see him the most, free of any distractions.

The two of you met through your mutual friends, and although you love them (well, you love them sometimes), they can be demanding. Early on in the friendship, back when you were all itty bitty freshmen with a thirst for the party life, Changbin claimed Fridays as your going out nights. Saturdays, then, were reserved for movie night at Hyunjin and Minho’s after a few too many Marvel marathons sophomore year. Sundays eventually ended up being taken by weekly brunch with Jeongin, and every other day of the week—well, those ended up occupied by one clingy, over-attached Han Jisung.

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