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Regardless of the specifics of this situation, lots of people love and support you and want to help you. In America it feels humiliating to need anything because we are all supposed to be ruggedly independent cowboys who know how to change our horses’ oil and build tobacco from scratch. But that’s not how life works. We all need community support sometimes, and it’s not embarrassing to want or ask for it from the people who care about you. You are lonely, but you’re almost certainly not alone!

Josh Gondelman, in the latest issue of his newsletter That’s Marvelous! (https://joshgondelman.substack.com/p/12-lebron-james-and-you)

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Until you pin me George, Festivus is not over!

It is now time for the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus… to the rest of us!

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Festivus is your heritage.  It’s part of who you are!

It is now time for the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus… to the rest of us!

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‘Tis the season!

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true love (soundcloud link)

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Tumblr sucks now, but this post lives on.

It is now time for the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus… to the rest of us!

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And now... you’re going to hear about ‘em.

It is now time for the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus… to the rest of us!

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‘Tis the season.  Also I am super psyched because, thanks to a Hallowe’en miracle, that shirt is going to be resurrected.  Skellington King bless us every one.

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“Item the third: Last night I bolted out of a dead sleep and said to my dog, who was himself sleeping, "D&D character alignments is just Meyers-Briggs for people who have had livejournals." Later, when I was more awake, I tried saying, "Meyers-Briggs is just D&D character alignments for people who have never had livejournals." I cannot decide which version is better, or if either of them are funny, or more than funny, true. I am not sure of anything.” Guys, if you’re not subscribed to Mallory Ortberg’s tinyletter (The Shatner Chatner), you are missing out on some gems.  And this is like, the afterthought of the most recent one.  Seriously, go sign up.  You’ll be glad you did.

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This song.  Man.  I’ve been playing it a lot the last couple months.  It’s got layers for me.  The intersection of loss and faith.  And it reminds me of my ex in some real-ass ways. Which is, you know, bittersweet.  Anyway, it’s very good, and I really like this version of it in particular.

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Things I Done Liked Lately Vol. II: this cover of Emmylou Harris’s Red Dirt Girl performed by Brandi Carlise on Prairie Home Companion.  I have basically listened it to death over the last month or so, after hearing it on the radio. Also of note: apparently I can listen to A Prairie Home Companion now without an immediate and visceral negative reaction, so... thanks Chris Thile, I guess?

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I literally never post here anymore, but I’m going to try to start sharing things I like on the internet again.  We’ll see how long the momentum lasts. Anyway, I described this to a friend as “like a poppier that dog.“ or “if Veruca Salt, as a group, were medicated?” (That maybe sounds insulting to ol’ V. Salt, but it was not meant as a dig!) Which, I don’t know how accurate those are, but at least one advance review I read also name-checked Veruca Salt, so maybe I’m not so far off?  Anyway, it is Very Good and I Like It.  Maybe you will like it too?

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I got a lot of problems with you people.

It is now time for the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus… to the rest of us!

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Rocktober arriveth.

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This bit cracked me up, with a literal laugh out loud “HA!”, because it’s such an unexpected little gem. An inspired bit of writing that was played perfectly. 

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Ok, I lied about only reblogging myself.  There are some quality dogs going on over on Pete’s tumblr.

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Ten Ways to Support Breast Cancer Awareness Month That Don’t Include Buying Pink Shit

1) Donate lunch to a local oncology unit. Ask your doctor (or Google) for the number of a nearby oncology suite, there are many. Call them and ask if you can donate lunch for the nurses, doctors, patients and their families for a day. For $100 or less, you can provide food for the hardworking people who make your loved ones healthy and comfortable. If you order from a local sandwich/pizza shop ask if they’re interested in donating the food, then it will cost nothing out of pocket.

2) Donate hats, blankets, fuzzy socks. Chemo can make you feel very cold. New knit hats, blankets and socks and are a lifesaver. One woman in my mom’s ward would knit hats for the other patients while hooked up to her IV. She was badass and her hats we’re beautiful.

3) Talk to a local tattoo shop about donating their services to cover up radiation and mastectomy marks/scars. In order to make sure that the same area of skin isn’t zapped too many times during radiation, patients are tattooed with small black dots. My mother checked with her rabbi to make sure this was OK (it is, duh). Some patients have chosen to alter and grow these spots into beautiful pieces of art. Here are some examples.

4) Quit sexualizing breasts (all the time). Yes, breasts are sexy. They are fun and bouncy and give all kinds of boners. Some breast cancer  organizations have used this, or women’s sexuality in general, to boost the signal of awareness (to whatever success, I don’t know.) Although I cannot object to the way anyone chooses to deal with the trauma of cancer or fund it’s research, I can personally say that continuously (and only) seeing breasts as sexual organs can be exhausting and detrimental for patients and their families. My breasts are big and fun and sexy, but they are also constant reminders of why my mother died so young. And a threat of what might come for me.

5) Learn your family history and get genetic testing. Do you know who in your family had cancer? What kinds? How did they treat it? Did they die from it? Knowing this kind of information can give you and your siblings the leg up on getting tested. Rule of thumb is to start testing ten years before your parent was diagnosed.

There are also genetic predispositions to cancer that run in families. Think BRCA, think Angelina Jolie. These tests can be very expensive, but can also save your life. Ask your OBGYN or Planned Parenthood if it’s the right thing for you, then share that information with your family. It’s scary, but wouldn’t you rather know? On a positive note, if both of your parents are tested negative, you are negative. It cannot skip a generation.

6) Walk around a lake with your loved ones. You’ll see crowds of people in pink walking down river banks in every city this month. Many people take solace and pride in the community of these fundraising events. They do a lot of good. It’s not for me. It’s never been for me. Mobs of people exercising for breast cancer tend to give me panic attacks, but hey, that’s my trauma.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a nice idea. Grab your family, pick a lake, and go for a walk with out the matching shirts. 

7) Burn your bra. Why not? Fuck ‘em.

8) Do a self breast exam. You may be too young for a mammogram or ultrasound, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself a quickie exam. Here are instructions. And if you’re paranoid that you’ll miss something, just ask your doctor to do it for you. Or your partner (my father found my mother’s cancer). Hell, ask a friend, get close, experiment.

9) Don’t buy pink shit or do, I don’t care. If you have the choice between apple sauce with a pink ribbon or with out a pink ribbon, know that the one with the pink ribbon is most likely only using the symbol for marketing, and the percentage they donate is nominal. But if it makes you feel better, and you’re going to buy that apple sauce anyway, then go for it. But don’t feel obligated to spend money on pink products because it’s October and they’re making you feel bad.

10) Give cash to an organization that doesn’t make your blood boil. Planned Parenthood and the National Breast Cancer Foundation are a couple to consider.

My name is Natalie Baseman and I am comedian, not a doctor. My mother, Bonnie, was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five years old. She was an incredible artist and teacher who lived with cancer for over twenty years. Three months after mom passed away I had a panic attack at my gym upon seeing a group of gyrating, bedazzled pink women sweating it out to Britney Spears at a Zumba class for breast cancer awareness month. There is no shame in not participating, or finding your own way to deal. Happy October.