oceanofthoughts

[oceanofthoughts]

Yes I promised. I promised I will never cry again for the same reason this year. I promised that I will never return to memory lane. Yet here i am, trying to pull myself together. Why? Why do you have to be in my life again.

[oceanofthoughts]

When? Im so tired 😭

[oceanofthoughts]

With each passing day, I understand things clearly.

[oceanofthoughts]

Pulling yourself together because you don’t want people to know you’re struggling

[oceanofthoughts]

When will it be me?

[oceanofthoughts]

Just when I was getting my hopes up, God pulled me back harder. I know it’s a redirection. Still can’t accept the fact that he blocked me. I know all of us have our own reasons yet I still can’t understand why?

[oceanofthoughts]

“Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that’s why we’re so anxious to lose them, don’t you think?”

– The Secret History

[oceanofthoughts]

digging mouse

bought a new mouse today and I'm so happy. it's a real deal.. yey!!

[oceanofthoughts]

Pain is a long process. People don’t understand what you feel because they don’t want to.

[oceanofthoughts]

You don’t know what pain is. You just know how to inflict it to other people. You don’t care about the repercussions you’re just delighted that it was not you.

[oceanofthoughts]

To avoid disappointment, stop seeing the good in people and start seeing exactly what they’ve shown you.

[oceanofthoughts]

It's the 4th of May, and I'm still in love with you.

[oceanofthoughts]

Some people don't see how much you do for them. they only see what you don't do. you'll never satisfy an ungrateful person.

[oceanofthoughts]

[oceanofthoughts]

And there’s no one to blame but yourself. It’s been your hard head and stupid heart that put you there. You listened to your tiny self and not on what God is saying to you. You keep asking for signs when He already gave you too many. You ignored the red flags even though it’s strikingly clear. You didn’t listen to what is God is saying to you and instead keep on believing that fairytale happens. Your happy ending is coming, yes you can believe on that, but not with him.

[oceanofthoughts]

— A. Y.

[oceanofthoughts]

Alone again, naturally.

I don't know how to define what I'm feeling right now. It's a mixed emotion of I don't know what. I feel empty. I lost all the hope that I've been holding on for so many years. Is it the love that was lost? The grief that will never leave. Weeping in these corners, reaching out to God. I can't really help myself. Overthinking is killing me. Envy keeps on pulling me down. Jealousy with everything around me. Do I really deserve to be where I am right now? Why can't someone hear my cry? I found myself alone, carrying my own weight. Feeling sorry for myself. I have no one.