nyopilled

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #9: 12/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Xn4T8JqWjlhhBIwUWHfma?si=uwq19CZjREqSJRAVw3BiaA

azumanga-ing daioh

nui

thats all.

additional notes: ur brain tricks u into thinking

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #8: 10/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6TRjT37UyRUVrGg3gTlIqb?si=yLhQn1BsRXucBuxyhdN5Yg

ok i actually forgot to do yesterdays bc i was talking to my mom n having a fun little convo w her which is actually very valid so 😇

TW: mentions of needles, human cannibalism

today i ate, slept, played honkai, read webnovels and did surgery on nui!diluc.

before i talk abt the surgery, ill talk abt the other things.

i watched a documentary abt the el sidrón neanderthals n human cannibalism aside (tht accidentally sent me down a rabbit hole that . made me uncomfortable to say the least.), i think it's fascinating on how this one researcher emphasized that neanderthals aren't humans and arent the same as us (like culture, build, etc). i mean hes right but at the same time ive always considered neanderthals to be like a relative; yk like a cousin u see at a family gathering.

it made me think abt the differences between neanderthals and homo sapiens. admittedly, ive always looked at the behavior of human ancestors though a modern day human lens— but it made me question how far human empathy can extend to other species and if other hominid species had the same level of empathy as us. obviously, neaderthals are related to us, they are human but just not the type we are. n they did things that homo sapiens of the time did. i think that neanderthals viewed homo sapiens as the same as them, seeing as they interbred with them.

but still. how different are we? we come from the same genus, we share some dna, our bodies are anatomically similar in a way. what makes us human? is it because we've evolved more and are more technologically advanced? if the neanderthals hadn't gone extinct, wouldn't they have also evolved like we did? idk. maybe im just overthinking things like always.

i honestly wonder if my empathy will get in the way of future research lol. but i think it's better to have compassion than to be heartless. and empathy and emotions are a very human thing to have.

id rather live like a fool than die as a coward. (if u get this reference i salute u)

anyways time for Diluc. i will describe the procedure below under the cut.

diluc before surgery. he is sad. he has a hole at the back of his head.

i put him to sleep and placed him on a makeshift surgery table. i used sturdy red sewing thread and a bent needle i didnt even realize was bent until i started working on him.

this is him at the beginning of the surgery.

i didnt take too many pics during the middle portion bc i was Concentrating so here's diluc at the end of it.

i cut off the thread before i realized i only fastened it once and i was afraid it would undo itself since im planning to take diluc Everywhere w me so i put fabric glue as a precaution.

the red thread in the second pic is the thread that came undone originally.

anyways, he is now sleeping and in recovery so ill take a photo of him tmrw :3

i think thats all for today, nothing else rlly happened. i mean i also got an air conditioner in my room so at least i wont complain abt the heat anymore.

i also think its kinda funny that i went from talking abt the humanity of archaic humans to a "surgery" on a stuffed toy.

maybe this is what it means to be human.

thats all.

additional notes: idk how the community warning works so ill just keep it as mature . better to be safe than sorry .

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #7: 09/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Dx8iEsMuNrf7aF9TMV0Xe?si=WRG3r0CQTEyluSIFXilRjg

if i forgot to update today bc i was busy playing hsr no i didnt yes i did ❤️

today i slept, ate food, read webnovels, watched some eons videos n played hsr.

i wanted to read smth lighthearted yesterday cuz i was upset that n somehow i ended up reading an a/b/o esports danmei . dont ask how , but frm what ive read i think it was actually pretty serious n touched on gender roles and the struggles of people when they're forced into certain positions bc of their gender . the mc was even diagnosed w gender dysmorphia due to his unwillingness to identify as an omega (came from a different world) n i think he got surgery ? im not sure i dropped it halfway cuz i lost interest . n also the attitude of the doctor who diagnosed him rlly got me thinking it was an allegory to trans ppl bc he said its better that he gets the gland surgery instead of forcing him to change into an ideal omega like how some ppl do ... i think the author decided to portray the heat/gender/dynamic seriously n in a realistic manner which is actually nice .

me personally, i wldnt want to be reincarnated into an a/b/o universe .

BUT ALSO!!! WE NEED BAIHE ESPORTS NOVELS!!!!!!!!! idk if translators just haven't translated them or there rlly isnt a lot but this is starting to piss me off like . but at the same time... im aware of the misogyny in the gaming world (dont start on esports.) ... BUT STILL!!! YALL R WRITING A/B/O INTERSTELLAR ESPORTS NOVELS SO WHATS WRONG W WRITING BAIHE ONES????

WHAT ABT THE GAY GIRL GAMERS???

but anyways. i digress.

i ate popcorn today . i think the microwave popcorn companies have improved their recipes. me personally im not fond of too much butter n i prefer my popcorn salted . my mom bought the salted flavour popcorn and it was good. i will eat more tmrw 👍

i also ate fish today. i kinda have a trauma w fish cuz when i was younger i got a fish bone stuck in my throat like 3 different times which landed me in the hospital so yeah. i was so careful abt chewing n making sure i didnt accidentally swallow a fish bone... but i did 💔 dw im ok but still 😭😭😭 fish.... 💔💔💔

also terrible news: nui!diluc need surgery at the back of his head cuz the thread wasnt sewn properly n theres a hole . ill do it tmrw n update u all 😞

i didnt rlly do a lot today ... nothing of note rlly happened.

thats all.

additional notes: i wanna read the bts book . saw a lot of discussion abt it on twt .

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #5&6: 07-08/07/2023

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/1LNGuCg01CHg9ErApmz92R?si=cnwQHC-YQwyfN-p2bheVTA&context=spotify%3Aartist%3A0PHf0oiic0xAnCrRuLTtHl

i didn't even feel like doing todays entry bc i feel like shit but rn im gna do it anyways to distract myself

yesterday, i did the same as the other days. i watched ice age 2 where they met ellie. watched more evolution videos. decided to try to get into paleoanthropology. decided to go to the museum and convinced my mom to buy tickets for me and my bro for the next day.

also researched abt university degrees w paleoanthropology majors... theres only two unis that offer that focus near me n both r kinda hard to get into... still... ill do my best to get into the harder one cuz i need the access to their library its not even funny . nonfiction books r so expensive . knowledge is expensive.

today, i went to the museum, walked around the bookstore, and ate hotdogs.

can i just say idek how manny managed to bag ellie. like this guy was always fumbling. what pisses me off is that this fictional woolly mammoth has enough charisma to manage to get two girlfriends in his lifetime while im still struggling.

anyways . i wanna type more but im too tired (my feet hurt!!!!!!!) so ur getting the short form of todays events.

went to see the t rex exhibit. if i was a tyrannosaurus i would be a guanlong me thinks... my brother wld be a xiongguanlong . looked at the other exhibits . had to leave the bird exhibit cuz it was making me hungry . looked at the dawn of life exhibit. left the dawn of life exhibit bc i was hungry. ate hot dog with fries. the fries has no salt . went back to previous exhibit. lamented the lack of hominid exhibits. went to see the colonizer exhibit. went to see inuit music/art exhibit. was very fascinated by it . went to ancient civilization exhibits . went to the ancient egypt exhibit. immediately left the ancient egypt exhibit after discovering that there were actual mummies n skeletal bodies on display . went to museum store . nearly bought book abt fossils and evolution before putting it down . nearly bought a toy penguin ring . went out of the museum . anti-covid protesters were outside n blocking the streets . my unserious brother took a selfie w them in the background holding up a peace sign w a straight face . walked to book store. bought book abt evolution history . walked to mall . waited for my mom n dad to pick us up. ate another hot dog . the fries had salt . mom n dad picked us up . home. Klee

also nui!diluc was w me today n he learned a lot me thinks :3 first time hes gone outside ! he nearly got eaten .

going to go eat snack now.

thats all.

additional notes: Kasuga "Osaka" Ayumu

[nyopilled]

btw today's song is yeah by usher bc i watched his 2004 inkigayo performance again

[nyopilled]

will post yesterday's entry later w today's cuz im going to the museum !! (is totally not bc i lost track of time)

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #5: 06/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/308Ir17KlNdlrbVLHWhlLe?si=Pzh1TmtYTgeDte22f2orWg

i wont lie to everyone i almost forgot to do today's entry 💀 nearly clocked in w/o doing this

today. i did the same thing as yesterday.

idk what u expected. its summer. its hot. i hate going outside.

im basically a shut in.

had so many nerd moments today but i think im immune to feeling embarrassment abt my interests now bc ive just embraced the fact that some ppl may consider me to be cringe.

like picture me unnecessarily explaining how scientists dont know how early humans got to okinawa from taiwan in treacherous sea conditions and how they mightve been more technologically advanced than we thought since it would likely require a stone axe to build a stable boat for them to use to my mom who has no idea what im talking abt .

also rewatched ice age today. tomorrow i will watch the rest of the movies. love the first movie. theyre all so goofy.

sid.

thats all.

additional notes: speedran this bc i wanna go to sleep i got a headache n need to create scenarios between me and alhaitham

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #4: 05/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/4JrL3SMc7BvmxneLl4hmEA?si=ExnaXZIkQwGF4qKGakTrnA

i wont lie i forgor to do this today so this'll be short cuz i wanna do mbti stuff

today i slept in, ate dumplings, played games, watched educational videos and learned more things.

rlly liking the genshin event so far !! tho i might be biased cuz i main klee lol . shes just the cutest !! im gnna try and get c1 klee this update 👍 shes just so... babie. and Healing for the soul... so bright.... such a good child ... how can anyone hate her... shes done nothing wrong Ever...

collei is so cute too !!! love seeing her on screen ! i think she can understand the water droplets cuz she's a kid inside (like klee!! except klee is actual kid.) .

anyways i tried calculating how much klee's outfit wld cost for the shits and giggles n that shit is so expensive wtf???? anyways i might be a klee main but i cant go that far.... im sorry klee 💔 i think she wld understand tho 💔 (talking about her like shes real)

anyways i need to focus on grinding in hsr... i think i said this yesterday but i rlly need a solid team comp... i have so many characters... but no idea how to use em 💔

spent most of the day w diluc nui today... he was with me learning abt evolution and natural history ❤️ pbs eons is basically his educational show. also showed him genshin impact tiktoks on pinterest to counter that knowledge to ensure he ends up slightly fucked up ❤️

looked up potential careers for history majors... i think i like the idea of working in a museum i might try n pursue history seriously as a career :3c or a researcher but youve gotta write papers for that and Im Not About That Life. or a children's education host (lord knows we need it for the next generations w all of the misinformation nowadays 🙏) .

anyways back to the mbti stuff. i shall be going now.

thats all.

additional notes: i think theres a red moon outside. its Biiiig.

[nyopilled]

i wonder how long i can keep up w this online diary thingy

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #3: 04/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/31AOj9sFz2gM0O3hMARRBx?si=ynEePQWjT9-iOq5P5mYGxw

its so hot. i hate summer . it shld be illegal for apartments not to have air conditioning. people r dying .

today i ate, played games, watched yt videos and slept.

my (fake) diluc nui came today!!! it took longer than i expected but then again i ordered frm aliexpress... anyways!! hes a little fucked up but we still love him . my emotional support plushie... i wanna get a fischl or zhongli one too .

ive made him watch numerous meme videos about genshin impact and pbs eons videos . both head emptying and head full-ing. he will become a Genius.

anyways i also got a welt eidolon today frm a 1 pull on the standard warp ... i think its a sign that the game wants me to use him more 😞 (temporarily benched him bc of Gepard) . i need a good team comp cuz ive just been putting anyone in and hope for the best.

back to pbs eons i think its very fascinating and slightly . idk i forgor the word but like kinda makes u have an existential crisis cuz like when thinking abt the history of the world n mass extinction events it kinda makes u realize how insignificant humans r in the grand scheme of things ... like eventually humans will go extinct n we'll just be an "era" on this earth (like the era of dinosaurs) . btw, i think that even if humans do go extinct, life itself will still b able to continue based on past experiences n maybe the world will heal itself . but who knows idk if ill live long enough to see it

it also kinda makes u realize how silly things like beauty standards r in comparison. its also fascinating how today's beauty standards differ frm the faces of the first homo sapiens and neanderthals + etc. like bro we used to literally hunt for survival.

n there r still so many things to discover!!! idk how scientists figured all of that stuff out like how do u know its frm 50 million years ago but its cool!! only thing that bothers me is tht we'll actually never 100% know for certain with what happened in certain time periods bc no one's ever lived in those time periods ... like seeing is believing yk ...?

in other news i also burned two cds today ! both for my dad . it made me realize how much my dad's music tastes influenced mine .

anyways im gonna read some josei romance manga now. good night Party People.

that's all.

additional notes: my dad gave me a mcchicken combo for my services. it was good.

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #2: 03/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0p3oAttD7p8eAaCXQ2jE63?si=WP4mf4yLRZyNMSc9zOAcBg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EQn2FXKb76Oy0

from now on im going to assume july's the 7th month i still havent checked if its right

today i slept, played games, ate food, and read mangas.

the mangas i read today were rlly nice! i rly like the first one i read today, its called 'bloom onstage!'! its abt this first year hs student who's trying to change himself and decides to do so by joining the theatre club after watching a performance from it. its rlly interesting n i like how it shows the inner feelings of the protagonist n him communicating w others. it made me think abt getting into acting seriously (again) ... ive decided to make it my goal to learn how to act this summer :3 !

i also read this other manga abt a 27 y/o office worker woman n her 20 y/o college student boyfriend ... tbh idk how to feel abt tht age gap but i feel like shes kinda like me. like if kumatani or gepard were real i honestly think id be like her . like i get it . she's obsessed w her bf bro i understand her 100% . like me towards my 2d boys .

anyways. i watched a lot of videos on pbs' eons yt channel today. it was rlly interesting. they used a lot of big words but it was still fun to listen to. i will most definitely watch more tmrw 👍

also im trying to find a fully translated ver of love's cursive by kim namjo but i cant find one so ig this means ill have to use my Rusty Beginners Korean skills . im also reading this book abt her poems n this one sh0t me in the chest n punched me through an office building where i fell down and landed on a car. theres just smth abt love being compared to an illness that scratches my brain correctly.

anyways its time to play hsr bc i forgor n i need to log in .

thats all.

additional notes: i made myself a nutella sandwich while typing this .

[nyopilled]

ENTRY #1: 02/07/23

today's song: https://open.spotify.com/track/2BxHcK2q5xnkuHqHDEuYB9?si=VS43BGhVQtmm5vQBcm_OvQ

i said this wld be my online diary n i dont rlly know wat to post on here so ig this'll just b an archive :p

today i ate pizza ! the pizza was good .

i also got caught up on genshin n honkai star rail cuz i didnt log on yesterday (touched grass) . pulled on the regular banner n i got a kaeya constellation + a five star catalyst. i think ill use it for klee . the idea of grinding for it tho... 😓 im not strong enough i already have my hands full w alhaitham....

i played minecraft too ! twas fun ! it was very relaxing . also watched a few episodes of uramichi oniisan bc it's currently scratching my brain correctly in a world where many things r getting on my nerves. icb its summer 💔 its so hot ... i cant do it...

i also looked at buying pink dresses for summer ... i rlly want these two (T ^ T) i will definitely find a way to get them , its now my goal ((o(^∇^)o))

anyways i think that the twt rate limit thingy hasnt rlly affected me at all bc i usually play games or read manga during the day .... i still havent reached rate limit... but idk its still annoying to have twt restricted like that . most of my friends r on there n theres just smth special abt twt like its jst. yk. so i hope that dumbass gets his shit together n improve it or else . ill Intervene.

thats all.

additional notes: i thought about kumatani mitsuo a lot today. why cant he be real 💔

[nyopilled]

hello everynyan