nyckehoney75

[nyckehoney75]

I'd like to be sleep but here I am, sitting with a plethora of thoughts that can wait all running to the front to be first in line. I'm sleepy but of course, it gets louder on the nothing...lol.

Today was interesting. Had a whole meltdown and still managed to smile. Mini panic attacks all throughout the day cuz my mind goes faster then reality.

I wanna say whatever but I'm missing my Mom the most and that's what's driving this sadness, this boredom, this black hole I feel as existing.

I question everything lately. I trust nothing and no one. Idk maybe I'm having a mental breakdown of some sorts, maybe I'm just really bored, or maybe my mind won't shut off enough to let me go to sleep so I ramble LMAO 😂

Laughter and music is the key. I'm not gonna settle in whatever this crazy ass space is, I seem to be in but this shits both comical and amazing to me.

Thanks for reading. Hope u got your sleep...lol

[nyckehoney75]

Hello again world. Woke up ready lol. Idk for what. I used to actually love my job but people once again have turned a great thing to pure shit.

I used to think it was a me thing but it's not. It's just a lot of shitty people out here and they seem to group up, form circles and make life miserable for other people. And that's okay.

I'm keeping my head down, minding my biz and smiling at everyone who smiles at me. And I've always got a kind word or 5. Gave a coworker a hug cuz she was down. Idk why I wanted to cry as we hugged.

Yo I have way too much rambling to do. SMH this is just the first. Meanwhile, don't be out here being shitty. Smile at people. Be nice. U do not need to go out of the way to be rude.

[nyckehoney75]

Here we go

Its rough at times, having so much to say and no one to really say it to. I mean the deep shit that keeps you up at night.

Tried to fall asleep and closed my eyes, was walking stepped off a curb into the dark and kept falling. It was an endless cycle and then a awoke abruptly. Sit up look around the room and sigh.

At times I'm so tired but can only take lil snooze naps which help I guess. Eventually I do pass out though. The dreams are wild and weird and I can never remember them in full. Just moments or things that stand out but never enough to really call up.

I'm still running around town bored outta my fuckin mind. LMAO, its rather funny now. I find little tid bits and things to keep myself occupied and busy. I try to have conversations, u know little random convos' with strangers. Most days it goes well. Plus it let's me know I'm putting something positive out here in this crazy ass negative world.

Well thanks for reading another one of my mindless rants.

[nyckehoney75]

So a new week in a new month. Days and weeks seem to fly lately. And we're in the middle of mercury in retrograde. Been a weird one so far. Can't say its been bad or good but its been interesting.

Been monitoring my interactions with people and keeping them limited if I see its no real purpose or progress. I'm trying to learn new things and have positive interactions right now.

Mainly still looking for those conversations no one seems to want to have. Fingers still crossed I get them soon. Its going to be what it be though. I can't force anything.

[nyckehoney75]

Man, this is the only way to live - naked in the moonlight

[nyckehoney75]

Happy Friday world!!

I can't be the only bored person in the world. Lol, idk maybe I am. Most people are amazed by smoke and mirrors anyways.

I feel like the only person in the world seeking genuine connection at times. I'm wise enough to know that it is only a perception. The world is huge. Just hard to find what u are looking for.

It still amazes me that people don't want to talk. Oh well, it is what it is.

I am here and I'd love a good conversation.

Thanks for reading.

[nyckehoney75]

Rant - LOL

Its weird out here - this social time. When I was younger a lot of questions people ask now were already on my mind.

The work issues - I just don't believe people should need side hustles and 2nd and 3rd jobs. How is that living a life?

Its more then that though, people are so angry and frustrated and don't even realize most of it is because of society "norms" which should have never been made normal.

I can sit an attack each issue but why?

People care but don't and no one else is really having the conversation. They're just literally living on in silence as this is okay.

Oh well...meanwhile my coffee this morning is delicious. I've still no clue what I want to do with my hair.

Still upset at stupid shit that went down with a coworker. Its semi my fault because I should have put boundaries in place a lot sooner but I refuse to be made to feel bad for speaking my truth of what I needed in that moment.

Thanks for reading

[nyckehoney75]

My first post...

I've no clue WTF I'm doing but I'm bored. I want to talk to different people and learn new things and I can't do that doing the same things.

Most people don't want to have conversations beyond the basic get to know. Me, I want weird talks. The other night had a weird talk with a great friend about why are tables tables.

I'm silly, I wanna be silly with someone. Laugh. There's not enough laughter in my world. Diff sites are weird ... Online dating is creepy. All people do is show private parts and ask inappropriate questions.

Anyone can have sex, I want true intimacy. I want to know what creeps u out and what keeps u up at night. Anyways, I've been searching for a good mind fuck for years now. I refuse to give up.

Thanks for reading .