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speedpaint

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Vil reviews bad movies, episode 1: Birdemic

Part of the Twisted Movieland with Vil project, where bad movies from our world are reviewed in-character as Vil Schoenheit.

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I’d firstly like to thank and curse the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm; the former for ultimately making this blog a reality, and the latter for introducing me to a buffet of retina-burning cinematic atrocities.

The other day, they invited the film research club to view the collection of “interesting” films they’ve brought over from their world. An opportunity to learn about cinema in a world without magic, how could I pass it up? Unfortunately, whatever excitement we had going in was obliterated over the course of a few days; the things we had to lend our projector screen to show were insults to the craft of filmmaking in every way possible. And yet, after each film’s credits sequence began to roll, without fail, the one showing us all of that mess would look at me, putting on the least convincing faux-innocent look I’ve ever seen, and ask, “What do you think?”

What do I think? It was only because my manicure was recently done that they were spared from a sound punch in the face. Nevertheless, they’ve also done a major favour, because the sheer disgust I feel spurred me to start this project. I – leader of the film research club, world-famous actor, the fairest one of all – have made it my life’s mission to make sure the world knows how ugly, terribly made and all-around disastrous these movies are (even if it means I have to subject my eyes to those horrors for the second time).

[Read the rest of the review here]

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that one character likely deliberately designed to screw over realism artists

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(parody/crossover) the picture of dorian gray

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WIP

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Mafia City meme

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I am not a cat.

May or may not be made into a real fan comic.

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VilEpe short fic, in which appleboy writes with a quill

Fandom: Twisted-Wonderland

Pairing: Vil Schoenheit/Epel Felmier

Warning: Some suggestive imagery

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Each tick of the clock was another iron weight pressing down on his nerves. The ink was scented with a veneer of lavender just thin enough to feel like a slow strangling by silk gauze. Epel did not dare look up from the parchment, or to his right at his dorm leader intently watching him from the bed. He focused with penetrating intensity on the strokes of fresh ink shimmering in the warm golden light, the peacock feather that made up the quill pen in his hand.

One more dip into the inkwell, one more line of spells learned in class intermingled with complete nonsense.

Earlier, Vil had asked him to come to his room for a photoshoot. That night, he was to don a white ruffled shirt with a cravat and sit at Vil's desk, writing absolutely anything (short of profanities and other such inelegances) with a peacock feather quill. The usual magical pen would produce the same penmanship for less work, he was about to argue, but he held back for fear of being subject to worse — perhaps actually having to wear a fancy brocade waistcoat and a knee-length jacket on top of the shirt.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The photoshoot was done, Rook with his camera and his endless supply of flowery praises was sent away, but Epel wasn't yet allowed to leave. It was thus just he and Vil together in suffocating silence, the former's composure teetering on the brink of shattering.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Go on, keep writing. Fill the page," Vil said, a low, silky hiss that shook Epel to his bones. He could not afford to even let out a whimper, much less allow any falter in his quill strokes; to do so would be to let Vil win yet again.

His stiff hand reached up for another dip, but he was held back.

Hot breath lusciously caressed his neck, elegant fingers softly stroked his quill-holding hand. Epel's body gave a very visible shudder; Vil had already risen from the bed and was right behind him. "That'll do for today. You did better than I expected," Vil whispered into Epel's ear, dangerous, smooth, dark like the scented liquid filling the inkwell. "Your hands are born for classical writing implements. To hold a quill, touch parchment, wear a signet ring. Can't have those elegant hands do nothing but farm apples and roll around in dirt, can we? You can go now... but your quillmanship still needs work."

Epel's sleep was certain to be anything but peaceful that night.

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That's got to be the best mafioso I've ever seen.

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In which Vil angrily reacts to bad movies for everyone's entertainment

The Twisted Movieland with Vil project is a fanmade roleplay/review/fanfic blog, written by myself, where bad movies from our world are reviewed in-character as Vil. Lots of ranting and raving and interruptions from other usual suspects at NRC.

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queenboy as Captain Barbossa, art progression, ibisPaint X

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I HAVE THE POWEEEEER

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twst x Pirates of the Caribbean parody/crossover: queenboy as Captain Barbossa offering a totally not poisoned apple to Epezabeth. Thanks to u/evil_doofus247 and u/S_L_Y_B_L_U_E on Reddit for help.

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VilEpe doing a pas de deux. Downloadable background by sozaiya_create.

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just queenboy

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twst x disney magic kingdoms crossover, in the style of old chinese ad posters

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twst x Plants vs Zombies crossover