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Artist is sadakage

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Artist is setsunasyrup

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Being a Dom is easy but setting FLR is Difficult

Endless articles on the internet talk about the advantages of a Female Led Relationship. How a Female Led Relationship is better than a traditional dynamic, how it adds value into your lives, FLR makes your life better, easier, kinkier, brings you closer, bla bla bla.

You get all pumped up and excited after reading these blogs because they make it sound very dreamy. Well, from my experience, it is indeed dreamy and you cannot be happier. It makes both of you feel more connected, improves communication and increases lust too. FLR makes you feel fulfilled and you both feel true to yourselves because now you act in the relationship as per your fantasies and personalities rather than hiding them. The man can actually act submissive instead of trying to portray the “Superman” image all the time and the woman can actually be assertive rather than adhering to the traditions and values she had been conditioned to while growing up.

When you become the Dom in a Female Led Relationship, your life should get easier. That makes sense. That is the prerequisite. Right? But no article on the internet talks about the difficulties and challenges one faces when establishing an FLR. They all talk about generic ideas about discussing your fantasies, communication and being patient, but none of them actually mentions the true picture.

My slave got introduced to his submissive side during the 2020 lockdown. Nearing the year's end, he told me about what Femdom is and what a Female Led Relationship is. I got intrigued by the idea. Moreover, I wanted to be a supportive and understanding girlfriend and I agreed to give this dynamic a try. Since we were not living together at that time, starting the FLR dynamic over long distance did not last long. There was only so much you could do in long distance as a beginner.

However, in mid-2021, we started living together when things got back to normal. That is when we faced our biggest challenge. He had been reading (and fantasizing) about FLR for almost 1.5 years now whereas I was just a newbie who had thought to explore this space once we would start living together. There was a 100-mile difference in our expectations from the FLR. Since he had already been through the stage where I was beginning, he had far more expectations from me.

Even reading the above paragraph has a flaw. Why would a slave expect his Mistress to “perform” well as a Dom? A slave should not tell her how she needs to act, right? Well, it is a beginner’s mistake and I guess every couple goes through this stage. The fault isn’t completely his as well, I guess, because this is what the internet taught him. Every erotica says that the husband told his wife about FLR and the next night wife comes out dressed in leather with a chastity in one hand and a whip in another. That is why the internet space is corrupted and one needs to filter out quality content from bullshit.

We both had our frustrating moments. I used to feel that I was not the one in control because he expected me to behave in a certain way. If I am behaving as he wants me to behave, how can I call myself the dominant one?

He used to say that I am hesitant and my hesitation does not make him feel submissive. This is why he tries to guide me. He said that he tried to take control just because he wanted to help me with my hesitation.

One day, after introspecting he came to me and told me that the problem was that we needed clarity in our heads. We both needed to come on the same page. I should not feel hesitant because he is consenting me to be the Dom and take charge. And He should not try to guide me, but trust me and follow my lead at my pace.

The solution sounded simple but it took us months to finally make it smooth. Since he was already very ahead in FLR readings and articles, I told him to give me a list of “No-non-sense” articles that actually talked about sane FLR. Instead of reading all the books, I told him to recommend me the good ones. After educating myself with quality material, I explored other readings as well. These quality readings were far better than the ones I had read initially when he introduced me. I have already mentioned the good ones in this blog.

Once we were able to establish a good Dynamic where I order and he obeys, we both committed to certain rules, like he will not top from the bottom, we both will speak our heart out whenever we are feeling overwhelmed, and this FLR dynamic is just an add-on to our current existing relationship and we can end it whenever either of us wants. I also want to compliment him as he did not force me to try any kink. He told me about his fantasies and kinks but never pressured me to try out any.

When he becomes your slave, you start expecting more from him in terms of the tasks he does for you. Any erotica easily mentions that the husband paints his wife’s nails or maintains the home perfectly from the very next day after his wife becomes femdom but seldom it is true. I had to train my slave to make him good at certain things. By train, obviously I don’t mean whips and spanking kind of training, but I corrected him, made him practice and gave him feedback on his performance. Now he does my nails perfectly, knows how I prefer our home to look like, cooks meals as per my taste and much more.

All this did not happen from the day he introduced me to FLR, NO! But it happened with time because we put in our time, effort, communication and many emotional moments to get to this stage. My life is far easier, happier and better than it had ever been because of Female led Relationship. Was implementing it and perfecting it difficult? Definitely, in fact, we are growing every day. Perfection redefines itself once you reach it, no?

Was it all worth it? Definitely!

Would I recommend FLR to other couples? If you are willing to patiently put in effort, YES. If you are getting into it just because of kinks, better to have BDSM nights instead of a 24/7 dynamic.

In my next blog, I will share what a typical day looks like in my FLR.

Happy Domination.

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

TRAINING YOUR MAN in a FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIP

Getting into a Female Led Relationship is more difficult than it sounds. It is because people enter into it with the expectation of a high. They are all fascinated by the fun stuff they will do. Locking his dick, giving her massages, feet worship, the man doing all household chores and laundry, ruined orgasms, humiliation and this list is endless.

But once they enter into it, the couple realizes that it is not as fascinating and easy going as it sounded. The woman might not feel dominant enough or the man might not feel submissive enough. Today I am going to talk about one of the challenges that the couple faces in an FLR, which is “Training your man”.

At first, I thought it is going to be easy, since he had expressed that he wants to be submissive to me and follow my lead. I imagined that I would give him orders and he will simply obey them. I would tell him to change his habits that I hated and he will gladly agree. Afterall, this is how they showed it in the captions and erotica, right?

Well, I was very wrong. Very very wrong.

I overlooked the fact that we both are humans and we need logic and time to change ourselves. I cannot expect him to change just because he has expressed his submissive desires. We even had discussions where he raised his points and tried to convince me why his habits were correct and did not need to be changed. There was a lot of to and fro. I told him that there is nothing wrong with how he does things, its just that I want them to be done in a certain way. As simple as that! As he's a submissive, my happiness should exceed his comfort zone. For example, he liked to keep his laptop, chargers and headsets near our bed so that these gadgets are easily accessible whereas I liked the gadgets at their proper place. If needed, he can fetch those gadgets, use them and then again keep them at their place. He gave me arguments that it is more comfortable and easier if the things are in an “arm’s reach” but I would prefer cleanliness and tidiness to comfort.

I also read articles about “How to train your slave” and guess what I found – Edge him, ruin his orgasm, lock his dick, prostate milking, spank him, etc. After seeing these articles, I was like – How is this even training? I want my slave to be a better submissive for me and this is what is being suggested? These articles were surely written by a man!

Well, here I am giving a list of things you can do to “Train your man to be a better slave” –

Manners and habits – Teach him the manners and habits that you expect from him. Men do have certain habits that differ from us women. For example, they tend to keep the wet towel on the bed after bathing.  Men tend to keep the “gym shoes” outside the shoe rack so that they are easily accessible. Men might not leave the kitchen tidy after cooking or they might procrastinate your orders till the very end.

You need to let your man know your expectations very clearly and then point out whenever he fails to meet them. This requires patience. You might, at times, feel that it is useless to try to teach him because he never listens. But if he’s a good submissive, deep inside he wants to be the perfect slave and will appreciate your efforts for training him.

Service – Your man is your butler in a Female Led Relationship. Get him to do things that make your life easier. For example, I had to go to a friend’s home for party and sleepover. I had my slave help me with almost everything. I told him to take out my suitcase from the storage. Clean it. Iron my clothes. I tried my clothes after ironing so he had to fold them again and kept them in the suitcase. I told him to clean my heels. Paint my nails. Charge my phone and so on.

The point is to delegate whatever you can. At first, his service might not be satisfactory. Make sure to give feedback and continue improving his service and skills. Soon enough, you will realize that his presence is imperative for your comfort. You would need your butler for everything and you will realize how much he is actually making your life easier.

Praise him – Praising him boosts his confidence and motivates him to continue making efforts for you. He knows when he has been a good slave but getting this recognition from you will boost his morale. Men can also feel insecure about their submission. Tell him that he is a real man. Tell him that you are proud of him because his masculinity is not fragile and is not jeopardized by submitting to the love of his life. Tell him that you are proud of his manhood.

Demonstrate – You might need to demonstrate certain things while training him. You might need to show him how you prefer certain things to be done and the quality of work you are expecting from him. For example, you might have a preference for how sheets should be done while making the bed, or you might like the kitchen crockery to be organized in a certain manner.

Whatever it is, do not assume that he knows what to do when you are ordering him. Also, tell him that he should come and ask you if he has any confusion regarding the stuff to avoid duplication of efforts.

Practice – Practice makes a (submissive) man perfect. Do not forget that your slave is a human. He would need time to be good at things, especially if they are women-specific. We women have been painting our nails since our childhood but who would have imagined that my slave would take almost a month to become good at polishing my nails?

He did ruin it many times. I had to be patient. Nails that could have been done in 10 minutes took 20-25 minutes, that too with the finishing that did not meet my expectations. Sometimes I had to make the corrections myself later on. Fast forward 5 months, I went to a salon to get my eyebrows done and the woman doing my eyebrows said “Mam, your nails are looking beautiful, did you get them done at our salon?” I couldn’t have been more proud of my slave. (and myself)

Practice is the key.

Specifics – The details that he notices might not be the details that I notice. He might be feeling proud that he has done a fabulous job but I might spot something that would make his efforts seem incomplete. For example, if he’s dusting the dressing table but not keeping my stuff back the way it was, I might not even recognize his efforts because for me the task has not been completely done. It is incomplete.

Or, if cleans my shoes but does keep the duster back at it’s place, the service is incomplete.

I had to tell him the specifics that I notice. I had to teach him to look at the things from my perspective. This is something that will continue forever because I am also a human and I will change as well. But I make sure that I am communicating properly and he is aware about how to make me happy.

Sexual training – Every woman is different and her sexual preferences are different. If you will not communicate what you want, you might not get what you want. Train him sexually. Tell him the speed you like, the angle you like, the thrusts you like. Teach him how you like oral sex to be. You can even implement certain gestures like, if his head is between your legs and you squeeze his head, it means he needs to slow down.

Sexual communication might seem unimportant but it dramatically helps to improve the sex life.

Bait – Now comes the last point. Bait him. Use your femininity to control him. Practice to use your womanhood to your advantage. He is not just a slave to your Dominance, he is a slave to your looks, your dirty talks and your body. Tease and deny him to keep him emotionally charged up. Control his orgasms and use his fantasies to get him to do what you want.

(I am not a fan of promoting kinks for maintaining your Dominion. A true submissive man should be a slave to you even in the absence of kinks but kinks can boost his morale.)

Well, I believe you would have got an idea about how to train your man. It is far more than you would expect. It might seem tedious. Just keep your communication clear.

In the end, I promise it will prove to be worth it.

Happy dominating.

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

Qualities of a GOOD SUBMISSIVE

Everyone on the internet is always talking about what Qualities of a good Domme but very few have raised the question about the qualities of a good submissive man. Those who have talked about this topic have mostly referred to things such as –

He should be willing to wear a chastity cage.

He should worship her feet.

He should shave himself.

Etc. Etc.

But these are actually not qualities. These are kinks. Representing them as qualities just gives you the illusion that prioritizing your kinks to your partner in the relationship is not wrong.

A real Sane Dominant Woman would not want to become a Kink Dispenser in her relationship. She would want a man who can think beyond his fantasies and is useful to her. So without further ado let us jump into what makes a submissive man desirable and what are the qualities of a great submissive man –

Obedience – The first and the most basic quality of a submissive man is that he is obedient to his Mistress. Obedience sounds easy but being obedient is difficult. If there is a man who nags at every task but ultimately does it would not be considered a good obedient.

Patient – A submissive man needs to be patient. He should let his Mistress take her time. He should always make sure that is in her comfort zone. A submissive goes through various phases where has to be patient. The time when he asks his vanilla partner for a Female Led Relationship, he needs to be patient so that she can embrace her dominant side at her own pace. He needs to be patient with the sex toys he wants to bring into the relationship. He needs to be patient to get well-trained under guidance. He needs to be patient when he supports her and carries her bags while she shops.

Knowledgeable – A good slave/submissive man is always willing to acquire knowledge to serve his Dom better. He will learn any particular skill that will make her life easier be it Home science, Cooking, nail-painting, hair care, etc. He would also want to be able to make rationale decisions for his Dom whenever asked to. Thus, having good knowledge is a very desirable quality in a submissive man. It makes him more reliable for the Dom.

Respect – A submissive man always and always respects his Mistress. In real life and in his thoughts, a true submissive never gets disrespectful ideas about his Dom. Even when he is disappointed or angry with her, he is patient and never loses his calm and talks to her disrespectfully.

Self-Respect – Self-respect for a submissive man is as important as respect for his Mistress. A man cannot be a good submissive if he cannot take a stand for himself. If you are a slave, it does not mean that you have to blindly and mindlessly agree to everything she says. Disrespect is not tolerable. If he cannot take a stand for himself, he cannot take it for anyone else when the time comes.

Communication – Sharing his thoughts, opinions and feelings is an essential quality that every submissive man must have. Doms are not mindreaders. They need to understand what is going on inside their submissive’s head in order to dominate properly. Thus, communication is a pre-requisite for being a good submissive.

Honest – A gentleman never lies. A submissive man is a gentleman. He is always honest. Even if he knows that the truth is going to hurt his Mistress, he will still let her know because he knows that the lie is going to hurt her even more. To add, hiding the truth or lying by omission is equivalent to lying.

Willing to Change – He should be willing to adapt to his Dom’s style of things. He should be willing to change his habits if his Dom tells him to. He should be willing to be shaped and molded by his Mistress. It is not the big things but the small things that will make him look well-trained. Not keeping wet towels on the bed, keeping the home well organized, keeping things in the place decided by his Mistress are just a few examples that are difficult to change but he should be willing to change.

Consent – A submissive man never forces his fantasies on his Mistress. Everything that happens in their Female Led Relationship is consensual and mutually agreed upon. He always prioritizes her needs and wants over his. Her comfort zone is far more important to him than his fantasies.

 Loyalty and Maturity – He should be an alpha man who is under the control of his Woman. A knight who only bends in front of his queen. He should be a mentally strong man who can make important and decisions maturely. His Mistress should be able to trust his decision-making skills. A good submissive man is loyal as well. He has eyes only for his Queen. He is always faithful to his Mistress because she has gifted him his dream dynamic. He has been gifted a Female Led Relationship that he has always craved.

Prioritizes her – The most important quality of a good submissive man is that he prioritizes her always and under every scenario. Whether physically or emotionally, whether inside or outside the bed, she is his priority. For Him, her needs always supersede his. In return, his Mistress acknowledges this fact and takes care of him and makes sure that his needs are met as well.

There are many overlaps between the qualities of a desirable man in a traditional relationship and a submissive man in a Female Led Relationship. It is because, at its core, every relationship is based on some basic pillars. D/s dynamic is just an add-on over a traditional relationship. Even if your husband/boyfriend/partner is submissive to you, he is still your best friend, your confidant, your teammate and your soulmate. You two are a team. You both complete each other. His submission is incomplete without your Domination and your dominance is incomplete without his submission.

Until next time.

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

The new white marriage

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

"She doesn't let me call her Mistress".

"She dominates but doesn't agree that it's a female led relationship".

"She doesn't call me slave".

"She prefers me to use her name".

And there are endless complaints that men have.

They don't understand that it's just a label. FLR is far far far more than just a label.

I know it can provide emotional satisfaction but it isn't the only source for that.

Don't be stuck at it.

Serving her devotedly will make her feel far more dominant than calling her Mistress.

https://flrindia.com

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

You want to be caged to make her feel Dominant, right?

So let her control the cage and follow her wishes like a Good Boy!

Stop obsessing over the time you spend in cage.

Think from her perspective!

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

How to serve your wife and make her feel more Dominant?

Again, one of those frustrating things that everyone should talk about but nobody is because online FLR space predominantly comprises of men. If you were to Google – ‘How to make your wife more Dominant’, the majority of the search suggestions would say -

‘I want my wife to dominate me.’

‘How can I make my wife dominate me in bed?’

‘How to convert your wife into DOMINATRIX’

And so on…

These suggestions are clearly male-centric and cannot give lesser shit about what women actually want. How is this actually making your wife more dominant?

One thing to note is that these are all male-centric articles. They will have stuff like Chastity, Spanking, Handcuffs, Pegging, Spitting, Golden Shower, Denial etc.

You need to understand that Women function differently and these suggestions will freak them out.

Your wife would not be willing to become a part of any of the kinky activities unless she is feeling dominant. Men take the opposite of the ideal approach. They think that kinks will make her feel dominant hence they should start with kinks. NO!

Once she feels dominant, kinks will come into the picture automatically. Once she is happy with your service, she will want to reward you or play with you. Dominance and submission are far more mental than physical. A man can go and ask his wife for a spanking but unless she puts him in a submissive headspace, spanking would serve no other purpose than just a wooden paddle hitting his butt.

Now, the question is, how can you MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL MORE DOMINANT in an FLR?

Before I tell you some things, the first thing you can do is to ask her simply. Just as you tell her to do the things that make you more submissive, ask her what will make her feel more Dominant. Every Woman is different and they will have different things that will put them in a Dom headspace. Make sure that you are carefully listening to what she says and then apply that feedback in your behaviour with the sole purpose of making her feel more Dominant, not because you expect kinks in return.

A few suggestions that I can make here are as below. These are generic suggestions and might not be applicable to every woman. “To ask her” approach is the best way to do it.

Immediate obedience –

Whenever she orders something, try to execute it as soon as practically possible. If she asks to change the sheets, or to do the dishes, or to place an order online, just do them. These are the things that a man easily procrastinates because they aren’t as important in his opinion but immediate obedience for such things will make your submission more evident. She would realize that you are attentive to her orders and she can delegate small menial tasks and those would be completed instantly.

Immediate obedience displays your enthusiasm and zeal to serve. It can do wonders for a dom’s headspace.

Be available for her –

I love it when my slave responds to my messages and phone calls instantly. I love it when he comes running to me whenever I call him. What is the purpose of having a slave if he isn’t available to serve you, right?

Again, I do want to add that one should approach this point practically. For example, I do not expect him to respond to my texts when he is driving. I do not expect immediate responses when he is in his office. I know that as soon as he is free, the first thing he will do is to reply me. I know that he is available for me.

Quality work –

Do not do the tasks just for the sake of doing them but do them with utmost excitement and quality. Do them because you have always dreamt of living this submissive life. You have dreamt of serving your wife and being her servant, so do the work enthusiastically and obediently while ensuring quality.

If your wife can be assured that you are going to do quality work, she will feel more comfortable assigning those tasks going forward. She will also feel good to have a slave skillful enough to manage the delegated task. She will automatically delegate more tasks, which converts to more Domination.

Small gestures –

Small Gestures go a long way. You should be a total gentleman, hence, pull her chairs, open doors for her, carry her bags, etc, and additionally, you should be a great slave. Gestures like kissing her feet, or cleaning her heels, tying her shoelace, making the bed or prioritizing her schedule over yours are going to boost her Dominance. There are many overlapping areas between being a slave and being a gentleman and you should aim to be both if you are looking for a female led relationship.

Cute messages –

In addition to the above point, you can send her quick snaps, videos or texts reminding her that she’s your Dom and you are her slave. For example, if she is out and you are horny, you can send your picture saying ‘Love staying denied by my Goddess’. This will remind her that she is in charge, this will show her that you are thinking of her and this will make her feel desired. A small cute reminder every once in a while does great.

Focussing on her –

Divert your efforts from other things and direct them towards her. Make her feel prioritized. Go to the restaurants that she prefers, watch movies that she wishes, and dates that she would like. Make her feel like a Queen. Always be willing to take the extra step to make her feel prioritized.

Obviously, do not completely neglect yourself as it won’t last for long. The idea is to put her first. Once she would see it, she would herself want to be put first as it makes her feel fulfilled. It would make you feel fulfilled too because seeing your Goddess happy will make you happy.

Sexual submission –

This is what every man wants, right? But as you would have realized till now, it isn’t the only ingredient to make her feel Dominant. Sexually submitting means letting her take the charge in bed. Do what pleases her in bed.

One difficult thing for men to understand is that she can be submissive in bed while dominant in the relationship and men find it difficult to comply in such situations. Remember, your focus is to fulfill her needs and wants and to keep her satisfied. Always try to pleasure her and ask her if you are able to satisfy her. Ask for feedback on what can be improved. Learn her ways. Master your Mistress!

Regarding your submissive fantasies in bed, share them with her. Tell her how important they are to you and then let her decide.

Pay attention and communicate –

Make her feel heard. Listen to her carefully and remember small details about her. Also, keep communication clear. Mistress Alisa says “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. This is a great principle. Communicate honestly and be an open book to her. Be vulnerable to her. Once she understands you inside out, she can easily shape you and mold you in the way she wants.

Flirt in a submissive way –

Never fail to pass flirty comments about you being submissive and her being Dominant. She is the only Dominant woman in your life (I guess) so do not miss any opportunity to flirt with her and remind her of her status in your relationship. I love it when my slave flirts with me as a submissive.

So here we are, I know it was a little long read but if you have read till now, you seriously want your wife to feel more Dominant. Just focus on keeping her happy and lay a strong foundation for FLR, rest will just flow.

Happy serving :)

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

[numberoneartisanarbiter]

Marry a whore that looks like this and cheats on you with BBC every chance she gets = the perfect marriage ♠️🐰

[numberoneartisanarbiter]