number1moose

[number1moose]

I didn't know it would be a trigger

Here I am. Freaking out. I've worked past so many trigger foods.

But I'm pacing and I'm nervous

I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm not ok

ED -"You should throw it up. You'll undue what you've done. You'll feel so much better."

Me-"No thats stupid, I'm not going to purge. I haven't purged in years. I'd just feel worse."

ED-"Feel that urp in your throat. It's right there. Just lean over the toilet"

Me-*vomits up only decaf coffee*

ED-"FUCK!"

Me-"FUCK!"

ED-"You didn't do it right"

Me-"That was idiotic. Why do I ever listen to you."

[number1moose]

[number1moose]

Woman: "I worked out regularly, ate in moderation, and I lost 30lbs!"

Woman with PCOS: "I worked out regularly, ate in moderation and lost no weight. But now I can dead lift a car 🤷‍♀️"

[number1moose]

Smooth brain

[number1moose]

Me

[number1moose]

Me - "I'm a strong intuitive eater. I am confident I can trust my body."

Also Me when I eat a bunch of cookies:

[number1moose]

Looking for suggestions on the best way to eat a cupcake with PCOS and insulin resistance -

.... Thanks internet, real helpful 🙄

[number1moose]

by sophiegardner

[number1moose]

Weightloss is so insidious.

I can recognize a small change in my body. And my brain runs like wildfire.

You like this feeling - RESTRICT

You want more - RESTRICT

Your healthy habits can't ensure this continues, you have to take control - RESTRICT

I hear your stomach rumbling, show who's in control - RESTRICT

These ED thoughts are really upsetting - BINGE

You lost some weight, what would extra calories hurt? - BINGE

You don't really know what your doing, intuitive eating is hard - BINGE

My body remains a trigger to my own mental illness. I don't act on these thoughts. But I'm black and blue from beating them off.

[number1moose]

Toolbox

I have a lovely toolbox,

Filled with ways to cope.

Journaling, art, talk therapy,

All things that give me hope.

As I sit here staring at it,

This box, so full of health.

I can't help but feel discouraged

As I eat to "help" myself.

The anger and exhaustion,

The complex human thoughts.

Are stuffed down ever faster,

As I grip the candy box.

I'm not tasting,

I'm not feeling,

Just my toolbox and me.

With bleary eyes now clearing,

I once again can see.

It's just me and my toolbox.

My untouched toolbox,

And the mess I've made of me.

[number1moose]

Body neutrality?

I'm unhappy with an aspect of my body. But my dislike comes from discomfort and annoyance, not aesthetics. I don't want it to change so I can look a certain way. I want it to change so I can feel more comfortable moving and living in my body.

And although I am annoyed that I'm still annoyed with my body. I mentally get a little gold star, because it's a more neutral displeasure.

[number1moose]

just a reminder:

[number1moose]

[number1moose]

I think my favorite thing about PCOS is how I try to incorporate more greens, fruits, and whole grains, and work out consistently and I'm rewarded with

NO FUCKING WEIGHT CHANGE

[number1moose]

Why prescribing weight loss for polycystic ovary ... https://www.seattletimes.com/life/wellness/why-prescribing-weight-loss-for-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-is-futile-and-dangerous/

https://www.seattletimes.com/life/wellness/why-prescribing-weight-loss-for-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-is-futile-and-dangerous/

[number1moose]

I'm hungry, but I dont want to eat. Cause anxiety.

[number1moose]

Close only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and intuitive eating