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I swear to god one of these days were going to see a video of Amaury Guichon and he's going to be making some wings and they are going to look dope as hell, the detail of each feather will be breathtaking, he'll spray paint them to perfection, but as the video goes on, he's not building any sort of winged creature, just the wings. And then there's a human-sized harness (also made of chocolate, somehow, he can do it). And he's attaching the wings to the harness. And he's putting the harness on and he demonstrates how he can flap the wings. And then he'll be off. Out the window and up and up and up. And we'll be looking at the livestream (it's a livestream now) and we'll scream "No, Amaury, the sun! It's going to melt the wings!". But he knows this already. And he is free.

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Turn based sex. Take as long as you need to think of a strategy.

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affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

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once you start saying shit like "yayy" "yippee" and "hehe" theres no going back

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sexual knifeplay is indicative of weak character. I could never get aroused from being stabbed because that would mean that I failed to parry it

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my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “linguistics class” you'll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel nothin.

50 minutes later: dude i swear there's invisible words in these sentences

my ∅ friend, pacing: the determiner phrases are lying to us

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

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Exercises for all the homies who want to have a long career drawing.

The true problem with being an artist and drawing all day (as I wanted my whole life) is that human backs are not designed to hold that position, so it is very common for artists and designers to have really stiff shoulder blades, creating a chain of muscle strain towards the arm AND the back… and a lot of pain.

These are some physical exercises for artists and honestly anyone who works at a desk.

(all credit to my physiotherapist)

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Little begging dogfish!

Took some inspiration from spotted seabass for this one. sold! 🐟💙

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I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

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Oh so if you kill a ceo it’s terrorism, if one of us gets killed it’s whatever

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I'm surprised I haven't seen this on Tumblr yet.

Ten years of having to do it to 'em.

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i feel like trans people spend so much time feeling guilty for liking things that are stereotypical or a little cringy that it becomes trans culture to hate on those things. even from the people who used to like those before they were aware of how they were perceived. especially with cavetown, “transmascs with ukuleles” is such a huge thing to ridicule us and its so immature and perpetuates such a toxic culture.