nuhaikuu

[nuhaikuu]

More Koontz philosophy ❤️ Because I just need it today. It’s been a disheartening day.

"Believe."

"That's all?"

"Yes. Just believe in the triumph of right over wrong."

"Like believing in Tinkerbell," I said.

"No," Rya said, "Tinkerbell was a fantasy creature sustained only by faith. But what we're talking about here is goodness, mercy, and justice—and those are not fantasies. They'll exist whether you believe in them or not. However, if you believe, then you will put your beliefs into action; and if you act, you will help insure that evil doesn't triumph. But only if you act."

– Dean Koontz, Twilight Eyes

[nuhaikuu]

Koontz philosophy! I 💕 heart it! 😄 The world needs more of it.

Birth of the World :: Joan Miro

* * * *

"All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined - those dead, those living, those generations yet to come - that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands."

~ Dean Koontz, 'From the Corner of His Eye'

[nuhaikuu]

It’s Getting Weird Out There…

What kind of person literally CRAVES the experience of reading a Dean Koontz novel when they’re super stressed out?!

Me.

Yep. Every time I feel so stressed out that nothing will calm me down, I feel myself reaching for a Dean Koontz novel.

It’s so comforting. So soothing.

I think it’s because he wraps up everything so neatly at the end of his books…that it literally brings me peace of mind. It calms my anxious mind.

No matter how weird it gets in Koontzland…you know he’s there guiding you through it, philosophizing, commenting on it, and you know you’re going to get through that weirdness by the end.

It’s a weird thing to be so comforted by a Koontz novel…but it’s just the way I feel.

Not sure which one I’m going to start… but I will definitely start one soon.

Because things are DEFINITELY getting weird out there…and I NEED a comfort read very badly.

I can picture myself reading and re-reading my Koontz novels until old age…until I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. He’s officially my favorite author.

[nuhaikuu]

Feeling Sick 🤢

My job had a free lunch today. Deli sandwiches.

They also had ice cream cake. I was hungry and I was tired and I was very very stressed today, so I ate it.

I’m going to just get a nice salad for dinner.

I’m glad tomorrow is Friday. It’s been a rough week.

I don’t think I have the stomach for this political swill that is passing for right wing news.

It’s making me feel ill.

These MAGA people are so childish, so paranoid, so creepy, and so utterly bizarre that to try to “understand” them is actually literally hurting my brain. 🧠

[nuhaikuu]

Thoughts 💭

So this morning I was up at 5am thinking about the election results.

I didn’t stress out before the election. I decided not to panic until it was clear who won.

Now I’m stressing.

A majority of people in this country obviously put their trust in one man to make everything right.

I tend to think things are going to get weird economically.

I generally get my news from reputable sources. And still will.

But I’m thinking about getting on X and following the fools that are going to be leading our government in a few months.

Reasons:

• we can’t just ignore these people and hope they’ll go away

• what they say and how THEY say it matters and affects our daily lives

• reputable media will focus on the negatives…and there will be plenty of those, but I want to hear the so-called “positives” and see how the narratives shift on their side when things get ugly

I probably shouldn’t bother. But at the moment I feel like the devil you know…is better than the one you don’t

[nuhaikuu]

[nuhaikuu]

A Snack

I had leftovers for dinner.

Tonight’s intentions…

• avoid internet trolls and rabbit holes

• get to bed on time

• shower

• trash

• maybe work on my reading journal if I’m not too tired.

• asthma meds

[nuhaikuu]

Wednesday: Post Election

Wow. Yikes 😱 What the…

[nuhaikuu]

Quick and Easy Dinner

This may not be the healthiest…but I was very hungry and in the mood for macaroni and cheese. So I just added some chicken breast and green beans.

Better than just eating a whole box of mac and cheese and not even feeling satisfied.

[nuhaikuu]

Tuesday Thoughts: My Library

I think I’m getting better at figuring out my reading preferences.

I’m starting to trust my own judgment on books that are just not for me.

I’m also learning to let go of the fear of missing out on something. Because life’s too short and there are just so many books and authors that I absolutely adore to worry if I miss some books that just don’t really interest me.

I’m probably going to either sell these books on eBay or fill some boxes and trade them in at a bookstore.

I prefer the latter….because it literally gets them out of my sight instantly. Whereas selling them could lead to procrastination about truly letting them go.

The two types of books I am preparing to let go are:

Some historical fiction.

Some mystery.

For many of the books in those categories (Michener, Rutherfurd, and certain types of “who done it” mysteries) I don’t see these books as true fiction. The “fiction” is merely a vehicle for 1. a history lesson 2. a mental puzzle.

I still somewhat enjoy “cozy” mysteries or other types of mystery. And I might enjoy some well written literary historical novels. But the rest…I just don’t have time for.

I realize what my two main reasons for reading are:

1. Entertainment and fun

2. Aesthetic quality (literary quality…themes, great prose, characters etc)

I don’t find history lessons fun. I never enjoyed history.

I don’t find solving who-done-it puzzles fun.

So that’s it. Here are my current reads…

[nuhaikuu]

Tuesday Morning: Asthma Update

The Pulmicort (that’s the $200 steroid powder that goes right into your lungs) seems to be doing its job. I’m not having any chest wheezing issues.

However, the Flonase (which controls inflammation in my nose) is…slacking just a bit. It could be worse, though.

I think that when you stop Prednisone, your body’s cortisol is thrown out of whack.

I think that’s why I was so fatigued yesterday. I just went to bed right after supper around 6:45pm.

It’s 4:30am and I was so dehydrated. I had stomach pain too.

Took a Pepcid and some water. I might also take some Tylenol. I’m not sure yet.

My nose is sniffly. I think the inflammation is trying to come back because my own cortisol is low still.

I haven’t felt healthy since the hurricane. It’s been weeks. It’s no wonder that I can only read 20 something books a year, whereas most people (on BookTube) read three times that! I’m so sick most of the year.

[nuhaikuu]

Not Feeling Well Today

I’m very tired. But mostly, my nose has felt slightly drippy, my throat is scratchy, and I am just feeling slightly asthmatic in general.

I’m taking all my medicine.

I don’t know why I’m so tired, except that I’m tired of feeling sick every day.

I’m probably just going to bed early I guess.

Might do a load of dishes.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to pack my lunch tomorrow. I don’t have the energy.

God help me.

Help me feel better. It’s been so long. And I’m so exhausted.

I can’t keep this up.

Good night. 💤

[nuhaikuu]

Monday Morning

So tired. I am so not into this day.

[nuhaikuu]

This is such a beautiful image.

I’ve been trying to “let go” of the pressure I put on myself to bite off much much more than I can chew when it comes to reading.

Instead, I am slowing down and focusing on enjoying each book I read.

It’s more important that I enjoy what I read and understand it and appreciate it…than it is to try to read through my library at such a rate that I can’t really absorb what I am reading.

This “letting go” of my perfectionist ideals about reading is really freeing. I still need a lot of practice with it though because it’s new to me.

Mindful reading is what I am aiming for these days.

Nature constantly teaches us many lessons: the art of letting go.

#ends-2-beginnings

[nuhaikuu]

Daylight Savings Time ⏰

It’s Saturday night. 8:47pm. I wanted to read for a bit before bed. I still might…

But not right now. I can feel my stomach gearing up for another painful night.

Although I am done with the steroids, they upset my body enough to cause trouble for me at night I think.

It’s the same illness that I had after Covid. So I’m pretty sure that it’s originating from my stomach. My stomach is getting rumbly and nauseous.

It usually kicks in hard around 11-3pm.

I took some Tylenol tonight and a Pepcid.

Slight headache.

Hot flashes.

Burning 🔥 sensation in my stomach and throughout my body.

So that’s why I’m taking it easy tonight. I’m not out of the woods yet.

I dimmed the lights and I’m just going to watch some YouTube.

Hopefully fall asleep.

Tomorrow’s another day. And I get an extra hour! Yay 👍

[nuhaikuu]

Quote of the Day

“One of the major reasons so many of us remain hurried, frightened, and competitive, and continue to live life as if it were one giant emergency, is our fear that if we were to become more peaceful and loving, we would suddenly stop achieving our goals. We would become lazy and apathetic.

…Fearful, frantic thinking takes an enormous amount of energy and drains the creativity and motivation from our lives. When you are fearful or frantic, you literally immobilize yourself from your greatest potential, not to mention enjoyment. Any success you do have is despite your fear, not because of it.”

—Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

[nuhaikuu]

Feeling a Little Nauseous

Day 5 of Prednisone and I am feeling nauseous and have insomnia.

I was given one more dose for tomorrow, but I don’t think I can take it. I felt pretty good yesterday. And finally got some relief from the asthma, but tonight I’m feeling really sick from this steroid.

Hopefully the 5 days is enough. I don’t think I need 6. I probably only needed 4.

But I will not take the dose for tomorrow. It’s too much.

Nausea sucks.