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An Apple a Day Keeps the Ulcer at Bay! 🍎

Morning…🌞

Evening…🌙

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NO MORE COFFEE FOR MEEEEE

I tried to make coffee a part of my life.

It smells heavenly…

It tastes heavenly…

It gives you energy.

I thought I found the perfect type: dark roast—because it is less acidic. And I put a good helping of sugar free creamer in it to cut the acidity even further.

But NOPE.

My stomach says NOOOOOOO.

It wakes me up in the wee hours of the morning with hot, burning 🔥 acid and nightmares straight from the pit of hell.

Then, when I ease up a bit and miss a day of coffee…

I wake up with an excruciating headache. 🤕

NO MORE COFFEE FOR ME.

And this whole ulcer trouble I have…it makes my asthma worse.

It makes me have horrible body aches.

It gives me low grade fever.

It is probably bleeding.

And if it gets worse, that could be life threatening.

No coffee for me.

Never again.

No ☕️.

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💕💕💕😊

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Just a Blah Wednesday

Today was so uneventful that I don’t even have a picture to show for it.

I worked (happily) on my TBR notebook. Almost done with it.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Except I did have one bit of inspiration… Just to pick (mostly) books that I really enjoy…even if no one else is reading them on BookTube. I still want to read certain books that everyone is talking about…but I don’t necessarily want to prioritize them because life’s too short.

I have to keep reminding myself of that for some reason.

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Tuesday Projects 📒

Today, at work, I finished a project. I decided to make a notebook dedicated just to keeping track of all the books I’ve read.

A second project I started today is my “TBR notebook”. This will be where I make note of ideas and lists about what I would like to read.

I hate having a million different notebooks…I like to consolidate things as much as possible…but it seems impossible to not separate those two types of content.

So far, the notebooks I have are…

1. A bullet journal

2. A daily diary (I don’t write in it every day, just whenever I feel like updating it).

3. A commonplace book/spiritual journal

4. A Bible reading/study notebook

I’m not sure yet how I want to set up a reading journal..

That’s it!

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Difficult Monday

The entire morning I had “trouble” with my period. It’s doing weird things, now that I’m almost menopausal. I was highly inconvenienced the entire morning (let’s just leave it at that).

And…it triggered a bad asthma flare up too.

On the way home I had to stop at CVS to ask the pharmacist questions about asthma meds and I got a lot of useful information. My meds are getting low so I have to see what to replace them with.

Then I had to buy Pepcid and Claritin. Both were behind a lock. I was so disturbed to see that. They also put detergent behind a lock.

What kind of dystopian world are we living in when people have to steal medicine and laundry detergent? 😥

Anyway…I got some stuff at the grocery store, made leftovers for dinner, and prepared some salads for my lunches this week.

Now I’m just relaxing.

I changed my iPhone wallpaper to something wintery ❄️ and cozy…

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Productive Sunday

I spent the entire day rereading my old spiritual journal, and it was really nice. I really appreciated having taken the time to write about my spiritual life during different periods of my life.

I also had extensive notes on books I had read, but no longer have copies of. That was interesting and useful.

One of the most interesting journal entries that I had found was from several years ago. It’s amazing that the thoughts I had written down then are thoughts that I still frequently struggle with.

But I am doing better with this now. I feel a lot more organized and purposeful with my journals now.

I made a new delicious healthy meal—chicken sausage and potatoes in the crockpot. I froze a large portion and saved some for leftovers tomorrow or Tuesday. And I had a bowl for my lunch today.

Dishes are still undone, unfortunately.

I need to get a few things at the grocery store this week too.

I tried cutting my Pulmicort down to one dose a day for a couple of days, but my asthma is irritated tonight, unfortunately.

The medicine is $200 and it’s going down fast. Also, long term use can cause glaucoma and cateracts so I would like to not need it as much.

There’s no generic.

I’m going to research alternatives.

I haven’t got my registration in the mail yet, but my mother got hers. We both paid on the same day.

I also didn’t get the information for my health insurance that is supposed to be sent.

Another huge thing I got done today is my bullet journal. I’m really finding it helpful and I’m glad I started it and learned how to do it the right way.

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Beautiful Day 🌞🌴🌊

It’s 71 degrees, nice ocean breeze. I decided to explore this little park across from where I work.

I just hopped across the street and took a little walk.

It’s gorgeous. I will definitely be spending more time here during my lunchtime.

They even have little speakers along the walk playing smooth jazz. 😂

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Blue tit, a paper craft.

Inspired by @maggotmuncher0's color palettes.

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I’m Not Weird After All!

You can keep your so-called cozy books where absolutely nothing happens and the stakes are so low they don’t even matter!

When I want to REALLY be comforted I turn to suspense fiction.

It’s difficult to put into words why it comforts me…so thank you Google AI…

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Blur

That’s what this week feels like. I’m not sure why it turned out that way, but I started this work week with the explicit intention just to Get Through It.

And it’s almost the weekend, so I’m happy about that.

I really hate that I sometimes feel these urges to “wish my life away”.

Usually it’s because I feel like I just can’t catch up and the only way to catch up is to do so on the weekends. I’m mostly too tired to do anything during the week, so I only get to “move forward” on the weekends.

Kind of sad.

But I have so many things that I need to catch up on…

• haircut (maybe?)

• new shoes and clothes

• read

• spiritual stuff (not sure yet exactly what?)

• groceries

• dishes and house chores

• decluttering

It seems like I have endless things I need to do, and very little time to do them.

That’s what I hate about life nowadays.

But I guess we’re all in the same boat.

Not sure what I’m going to do tonight.

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Thoughts 💭

I’m so weary.

I can’t remember if I took one or two Tylenol…so now I’m stuck. I think it was only one. But I can’t risk another because it could mean I overdose.

My body hurts and feels “inflamed”.

I just feel like I’m not doing “the right things” to live a good life.

Things I want to do:

• save money on food

• eat healthy 95 percent of the time

• read more

• make YouTube videos

• figure out a way to style my hair so it looks nicer

• have a spiritual time every morning

• read the Bible

• pray more (or just regularly)

• be more content and grateful

• be less angry and judgmental

• stop scrolling my phone

Im really struggling with all of the above, most of the time.

It makes me feel frustrated and like a failure and confused as to why I can’t do these simple things.

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High Stress and Anxiety Today

It all started with two things bright and early this morning…

1. Waking up from anxiety nightmares over something that happened at work that triggered my anxiety.

2. Stumbling upon an in depth article about a medical equipment company that’s hurting elderly people because they are thoroughly corrupt.

On the way to work I listened to a Christian podcast that was analyzing the election and that sealed it for me.

I started commenting…and couldn’t stop.

Then, my lovely and kind coworker tried to engage with me regarding a book she had just read and enjoyed (because she knows I am a reader). It was a library book and she read it in a day or two (it’s super short—only 120 pages or something) and offered it to me because she thought I’d read it just as fast.

It’s called What Does it Feel Like? by Sophie Kinsella.

I’m not a huge fan of her fiction (neither is my coworker) but this book is a fictionalized account of her experiences with a brain tumor and subsequent surgery that left her with ongoing and recurring memory loss.

I was able to read about 50 pages so far, and it is quite interesting.

Tonight I just had to make some comfort food…

I need to prep a few more meals on the weekend if I’m going to last past Tuesday with healthy food. I’ll do better this weekend I hope.

I start to fizzle out on cooking stuff almost right away during the weekdays. Unless I have specific meals planned or prepared.

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Body Aches 🫤

Just took Tylenol.

I think it’s because of monthly hormonal fun. I’m sooooooo ready to be done with late perimenopause.

I’m in “project mode” but I’m trying not to get too obsessive about finishing it. It may take weeks to complete…

I’m overhauling all my social media and trying to organize it.

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Monday…Not Too Awful

Other than being a little tired today, it was an okay day.

I was able to stay off of my phone (the news and social media and scrolling aimlessly).

I read my thriller for most of the day (Dean Koontz).

I’ve had such anxiety and lack of ability to concentrate since the election.

But I read almost 100 pages today. At work! Even though it’s just a simple book, it kept my mind off my anxiety.

My goal this week is to not spend any money on food from take out or convenience stores all week. I’m not able to save money if I don’t cut my grocery bills and food costs way down.

Today I took a leftover burrito that I prepared yesterday, a salad (also prepared ahead) and yogurt, granola, and fruit for breakfast.

Progress…

Tonight I discovered something really cool! I realized that you can create new YouTube channels and have a different one for different content. That way your content algorithm can be really helpful and fine tuned.

My channels are:

• Michelle’s Vintage Library (my main channel for genre fiction)

• A Cup of Curiosity (where I will follow content and channels that focus on literary fiction and classics)

• Beans and Greens (just to follow food related content, cooking, etc)

• Morticia (my alter-ego…for following politics)

• Pondering Christianity (for spiritual related content)

The nice thing is that when I’m in the mood for food content…I can easily scroll and find it, and at the same time, I don’t have to worry about tons of food content cluttering up my feed when I don’t want to be thinking about food.

I’m honestly not sure why I didn’t think of this a long time ago.

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I’m trying to learn how to be okay with the conflicting parts of myself and all the things I do that don’t fit into my personality perfectly.

You don't have to be palatable to be lovable. Pursue your weird hobbies. Ramble about your intense interests. Learn to love the "unique" or "idiosyncratic" parts of yourself.

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At work I often need a book that will keep my mind alert—like a suspense thriller. If I try reading something too literary…I start to fall asleep because it’s got a calming, poetic tone and style.

When I’m home, and I have a bigger block of alone time…I like to challenge myself with new genres, more classics or literary books, poetry, etc.

Ok, real quick, speaking as a librarian, you absolutely cannot despair about the adult literacy crisis and shame adults for reading fiction books you do not personally care for or think are "challenging" at the same time. It doesn't work with kids, and it doesn't work with adults.

Here's how to increase someone's reading level:

1) Let them read whatever they choose without shame or judgment. Maybe get them talking about it using open-ended, non-leading questions to encourage critical thinking and comprehension.

2) Let them get bored after a while and seek out different books.

3) Repeat.