ntaos

[ntaos]

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

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(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

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Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

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Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

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Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

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Japan: 3-5286-9090

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Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

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New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

[ntaos]

Soft

Aziraphale stood in front of his mirror in nothing but his boxers. It wouldn't usually take this long to get ready, typically it was done in a literal snap, but Aziraphale figured heaven was mad enough at him as it was without frivolous miracles, so he opted to get dressed the 'normal' way. The longer he looked at his reflection though, the more he wished he had just snapped his fingers; perhaps if he just said bugger to being 'frivolous' he could have spared accidentally catching his form in the mirror and stopping in his tracks. A few seconds turned into a few minutes of just staring, every minute more discouraging than the last. He turned his body to look at it in different angles, he lifted his arms to see the skin droop heavily, like a thick batter. I could always...use a miracle He thought. He could picture it now, one snap, an illusion, a glamour of sorts, and he could be thin, toned, he could look strong and tall, visually perfect in every way Like an angel should look...like Gabriel looks.. He held his hand in the air his finger and thumb delicately pressed against each other, but something held him back. It wouldn't be him. He couldn't shake the knowledge that even with the illusion of a perfect body, underneath he would still be soft and blobby. He sobbed quietly, insecurities spinning in his mind so callously and quickly it made him dizzy.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door that made Aziraphale jump out of his unfavorable skin. "Angel? you good in there?" Crowley asked impatiently from the other side "S'been half an hour" he added. Have I really been in here that long? Aziraphale wondered unable to believe he got so wrapped up in this. A glimmer of hope, a bit of self-love tried it's hardest to squeeze through the crack in doubt's stone walls. Now now Aziraphale, your fretting. After all it's what's inside that those around you truly care about isn't it? He attempted to reassure, wiping his tears. "Oh, and lose the gut" The memory, Gabriel's words, his voice, brought wet cement to his brief light source, and tears kept falling. "Angel?" Crowley said again, sternly but concerned, reminding Aziraphale that he was still there and he had yet to reply. oh dear the last thing he wanted to do was concern Crowley. "in..a m-minute dear" he tried to sound composed but it failed miserably, the warble in his voice was clear and miserable. This did not ease Crowley's concerns for a second, his heart rate shot up like a cannon at a circus. There was something wrong with his angel. He didn't bother to ask if he was decent, they were married for someone's sake, though he had never seen Aziraphale undressed before, Aziraphale had seen him that way so it couldn't be that big a deal, right? He walked right in. Aziraphale went to critically look at himself once more when he caught his husband in the reflection of the mirror, he let out a squeak of surprise "C-Crowley! get out!" he demanded, quickly covering his stomach with his arms and bending forward slightly to further cover the area which caused him the most grief. Crowley ignored his request "What's the matter?" Crowley asked trying to mask the hurt he felt seeing his angel upset like this.

"Nothing is the matter I'm indecent, now shoo!" his still present tears contradicted him.

"Don't lie to me" he closed the distance between them and brought his hand to the angel's cheek, making him look into his yellow reptilian eyes; they said tell me with a powerful persuasion his tongue could never muster.

"....look at me" Aziraphale broke into full sobs, sending daggers into the soul Crowley wasn't supposed to have.

"I am looking at you..and I see you crying, what the hell happened angel?" he still didn't get it

"NO!" he suddenly and accidentally raised his voice. "Look at me..." he moved his arms out of the way and held the weight of his abdomen in his hands; when he let go it fell and jiggled about, and it didn't make Aziraphale feel any better. "Angels are supposed to be beautiful, bodies molded into perfection as if God herself sculpted each one..but she messed up on me...I'm hardly attractive, not like...not like Gabriel."

"Gabriel??" Crowley scoffed "Ick. Gabriel.." he sounded annoyed even uttering the man's name. "Let me tell you all the things I like about Gabriel" He holds up his hand to count but raises up 0 fingers. He looks at his closed fist then back at Aziraphale "Speaking of Gabriel- Oh look! a weapon!"

Aziraphale rolls his eyes, he's not in the mood to joke. "You on the other hand.."Crowley began. "I love your nose" he places a gentle kiss on Aziraphale's nose. "Your neck" a kiss on the neck too. "I like your cheeks" he kisses both cheeks. He pinches Aziraphale's bottom with a smirk "I like those cheeks too~" "C-Crowley!" Aziraphale became increasing flustered. "And, I loooove this" he wraps his arms around Aziraphale's belly, Aziraphale expects a kiss like with the other parts of him that were named and instead gets a Rasberry, he can't help but laugh "Hahahahahaha! Crowley stop!" he demands between boisterous giggling. Crowley meets Aziraphale's gaze again, resting his forehead against Aziraphale's "But, my favorite thing about you is your smile..so please stop crying" he almost pleaded.

Aziraphale kisses his lips and gives him the smile he so desired "Thank you.."