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forever living with this guilt. i swear it's gonna eat me up so badly
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this desperate need to be ok is going to fucking kill me.
i've come so far with my mental growth and i can't afford to feel a day filled with sorrow, guilt and uncertainty. i can't afford to see my mama's smile fade away again. i didn't even realize that i'm spiraling down until someone called it out at work. truthfully, i'm drowning. i'm drowning at the thought of contemplating whether going back on my medications is the right thing to do. but that only proves that i've fallen back right? i don't know...
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i should at least acknowledge that i've grown into a better person.. the past me was absolutely a disgrace i agree. i should at least give myself some credit
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sometimes, i do wanna tell you that i love you in its entirety but i dont wanna waste my breath to tell you that. you should know.
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right now, i dont even know if im at peace or just ignorant.
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