notvirginawoolf

[notvirginawoolf]

Once upon a time, in the heart of a dark and rainy night, a creature appeared at an abbey, climbing through a window to into the room where the abbess was writing notes. It was a wretched beast, not quite human but neither did it resemble any animal that the abbess could name. It was dripping wet, with scarred skin and odd patches of thin, sparse fur, long cracked claws that scraped the stone floor, and sharp teeth so haphazardly scattered that it was hard to say whether there were two rows of teeth or one.

"What do you want, creature?" the abbess asked it calmly.

"I want to become a nun", the creature said. And there was no rule in the books that the abbess could remember that say that would prohibit a strange beast from becoming a nun, if it so desired. So, the beast was accepted into the abbey, and it took to life in the order as naturally as a shepherd dog to herding. She was a meticulous beast, first to wake and rise at dawn, neat and tidy with all tools and tasks she was given, dutiful and devout in all things.

No nun nor novice dared to question the creature's right to be there after the first time the she demonstrated that her teeth are not merely for decoration, and then apologised to the novice who had tried. The beast even graciously offered to mend the habit she had torn. After the incident, she was never bothered again. A handful of other postulants, novices and even a few of the nuns flocked to her, knowing that the creature would not allow anybody to be mistreated in her presence.

Watching the creature wolfishly lope across the abbey courtyard, with her ill-fitting, haphazardly placed cowl flopping as it went, the abbess contemplated the strange being. Despite of her sloppy, haphazard appearance, the beast really did have great potential to become a nun. A being so gentle and friendly could have done well just about anywhere, as would anyone so devout, but what made the creature such a good fit for monastic life was her love of routine. Waking up each morning at the same time, performing the same tasks and duties at the same time, the beast was not only tireless in her work, but actively delighted in regular routines. Which was why the abbey was such a good place for her, and she would one day make an excellent nun.

She was, without a doubt, a creature of habit.

[notvirginawoolf]

It took Stiles a few tries but he was able to make perogies shaped like squirrels and rabbits. Derek tried to pretend he wasn't amused. (There are never leftovers.)

[notvirginawoolf]

Danny: Where's your scary boyfriend? Stiles: Probably doing scary boyfriend things Derek: *10 feet away behind a tree staring at them*

[notvirginawoolf]

teen wolf movie au where at the end Stiles Isaac and Kira show up like "AYYY WHERES OUR FAVORITE HALE (eli) WHOS THE FUNERAL FOR actually why is Allison alive what happened we've been gone like a week"

and stiles brings Derek back to life while Isaac and Kira are both being Eli's irresponsible uncle

[notvirginawoolf]

The thing about the "underground cave tunnel" exchange between Peter and Stiles is - well, actually there's two things.

First of all, the snarky reply to Stiles' very legitimate question as to where the supposedly dead werewolf is living would absolutely fuel Stiles' spite into figuring out where Peter really lives.

Secondly, the Batman of it all. Yes, yes, I'm aware Batman doesn't live in the Batcave, he lives in the mansion above it, but really the first thing I thought when Peter said underground cave tunnel was "Batcave".

Stiles, who has canonically referred to himself as the Robin to Scott's Batman (as a complaint and with distaste because he wants to be Batman), and who became the Batman to Erica's Catwoman?

Peter: I live in a network of underground cave tunnels

Stiles, internally: He has a Batcave. Holy shit now I have to fuck him, I'm so gonna fuck him

...And then Peter ruined it by telling Stiles that he lives in a normal apartment. You could have gotten laid if you played your cards right, Peter.

[notvirginawoolf]

i get so happy when people that are new to fanfic writing, or just writing in general, post their work on ao3. despite their doubts, despite their fear of something so personal and vulnerable being perceived, they still press that button, and i turn into the equivalent to a proud mom cheering on the sidelines. like yes! you did that! your work is worth seeing! you deserve to share your passion for and be part of a community! i’m so proud of you!

[notvirginawoolf]

danny: You're gay. stiles: I'm obviously not gay. danny: You're in a romantic and sexual relationship with derek. stiles: You got me there.

[notvirginawoolf]

when you out of the blue get a plot bunny and you know that shit's gonna hit

[notvirginawoolf]

A Yule Miracle.

[notvirginawoolf]

Stiles: I'm not some faucet you can just turn on and off, you gotta romance me-

Derek: *undoes the top button of his Henley*

Stiles: Faucet's on, let's go.

[notvirginawoolf]

It's funny having a very high tolerance for pain but a very low tolerance for other forms of discomfort. Like yea tattoos piercings cramps shots cuts bruises whatever thats nothing. But I better not get nauseous or hear a loud sound. Or I'll die

[notvirginawoolf]

Stiles: If we have a child, I think they should take your last name.

Derek: I have two questions, the first question: why my last name?

Stiles: It's shorter and easier to spell.

Derek: That's a good point, second question, WHY WOULD WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER? WE AREN'T DATING OR ANYTHING.

Stiles: Damn! I knew I was forgetting something.

[notvirginawoolf]

[notvirginawoolf]

[notvirginawoolf]

Stiles, I’m fine.

[notvirginawoolf]

@princecharmingwinks requested: Stiles + Derek