notsoslimshadyx

[notsoslimshadyx]

start referring to things you own as “your inventory”

[notsoslimshadyx]

go to the concert of a local band you’ve never heard of or have a water balloon fight at 2 a.m or go to a new restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to, but for god’s sake, stop falling into the idea that you have to be traveling all the time or have tons of money to have incredible adventures and make your life mean something.

[notsoslimshadyx]

Let dogs and cats sniff… Just let them fhcnking sniff… They love it

[notsoslimshadyx]

I don’t even know what to say

[notsoslimshadyx]

[notsoslimshadyx]

Having Depression for years is so wild because you just kinda become?? Desensitized to your own suffering?? Like yeah I want to kill myself every day. Oh, oh yeah normal people don’t have that????? Oh shit I forgot

[notsoslimshadyx]

here’s the thing about adulthood-

you will go for like three months with nothing happening and you’re bored as hell and then in the span of two weeks eight different things happen at once - some fantastic and some shitty and some just plain bonkers - and you’re just running around like a chicken with your head cut off and no clue what the fuck is going on

[notsoslimshadyx]

[notsoslimshadyx]

[notsoslimshadyx]

a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid

[notsoslimshadyx]

oh this is my goldfish his name is wet little bitch

[notsoslimshadyx]

still can’t believe that someone would write Padme dying from “loosing her will to live” after just having two beautiful babies and meanwhile that burned circus peanut has enough will to survive 100% burning and tripple amputation. only a man could write that bullshit.

[notsoslimshadyx]

i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today” and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg” 

[notsoslimshadyx]

so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss 

[notsoslimshadyx]

This Work Never Ends - Jenny Hart, 2002 hand embroidery on salvaged cotton 

[notsoslimshadyx]

I am 100% certain Jake Peralta wrote this

[notsoslimshadyx]

brain: u gotta be… The Best™

me: ok so we’ll work hard then?

brain: no work… only Best.