notreallymaddy - Tumblr blog

[notreallymaddy]

James Potter: - Was a bully - Jinxed people when he was bored and laughed at it - Was totally okay with Remus being a werewolf - Became an unregistered animagus so that his werewolf friend wouldn’t have to suffer through the full moon alone - Realized within a few years what a douche he was to people - Changed for the better - Loved his wife and his son with all his heart and wanted only what was best for them - Joined the Order of the Phoenix as soon as he left Hogwarts - Faced Lord Voldemort without a wand, in hope of buying Lily and Harry time, knowing that he stood no chance of surviving

Severus Snape: - Thought muggle-borns were inferior - Called his only friend “mudblood” - Became a Death Eater - Told Voldemort about the prophecy, bc he was 100% okay with killing an infant - When he got to know that it was Lily’s son, he asked Voldemort to spare HER, not caring how she would feel to have her son and husband killed - Bullied Harry simply because he was James’ son - Bullied Neville until he became the poor boy’s WORST FEAR (that same poor boy who witnessed his parents get tortured to insanity by Bellatrix, yet SNAPE was his worst fear.) - Shamed Hermione for her teeth until she cried. And then she permanently changed them. - Threatened to kill Trevor when Neville failed to do a potion - Used his position of power as a teacher to make students’ lives miserable - Told everyone Lupin was a werewolf, and intended to get him fired - Knew that Sirius didn’t tell Voldemort the Potters’ location (I could explain how but I can’t bother now) but still wanted him to get a dementor’s kiss bc of what happened when they were 16 - Helped Harry in the end

But sure, go ahead and tell me Snape was a better person than James.

[notreallymaddy]

one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult

so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”

[notreallymaddy]

“writers always know exactly where they are going with their work!”

r u sure

“no writer does anything by mistake, it’s all very strategic”

r u sure

“they use symbolism in everything. for example, a simple sentence symbolises directness and-”

R U SURE

[notreallymaddy]

The most relatable thing about Hamlet is the way he uses strange and surreal dark humor and obscure humorous cultural references to cover up his deep despair, to the utter confusion and concern of all of the older people around him. Hamlet would love memes.

[notreallymaddy]

bruh

[notreallymaddy]

Signs as vines

Aries : I WONT HESITATE BITCH Taurus : Chris, is that a weed?? I’m calling the police! Gemini : Hi , Welcome to chili’s Cancer : Well, when life gives ya lemons. Leo : I love you biiitch I ain’t never gonna stop loving you biiiitch  Virgo :Free Shavacadoo! Libra : Look at all those chickens Scorpio :THAT’S MY OPINION Sagittarius : Stop, You Almost Made Me Drop My Croissant Capricorn : Why the fuck you lying? Aquarius :I smell like beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeef Pisces :  Adam !

[notreallymaddy]

HETERONORMATIVITY HAS LEAD ME TO VIEW MR. BRIGHTSIDE THE WRONG WAY FOR 12 YEARS OF MY LIFE, BUT NOW I AM WOKE AND UNDERSTAND THAT MR. BRIGHTSIDE IS THE ICONIC BISEXUAL ANTHEM WE’VE BEEN TRAGICALLY UNAWARE OF

[notreallymaddy]

Now I know what an aesthetic pleasure is

[notreallymaddy]

It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died

[notreallymaddy]

When you’re watching TV and your sibling gets out of the good chair to get a drink

[notreallymaddy]

Wait a second, am I tripping balls?

[notreallymaddy]

come into my house weary traveler

take off your boots. rest by my fire.

drink of my porg 

[notreallymaddy]

im bout to trigger yalls fight or flight reflexes

“i baked you a pie”

“oh boy! what flavor?”

[notreallymaddy]

do you think seagulls feel regret

[notreallymaddy]

Gays: “What up, gays! How’s the heterophobia today?”

Straight people already: “God, I wish it was still legal to kill you.”

[notreallymaddy]